TRACK FOUR: I'm With You

I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
Theres nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but theres no sound

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't someone please take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you

Im looking for a place
searching for a face
is there anybody here I know
cause nothings going right
and everythings a mess
and no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't someone please take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you

oh why is everything so confusing
maybe I'm just out of my mind
yea yea yea

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you

Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you
I'm with you

Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...

I like that song. its nice. Meanwhile, they played Complicated this morning on Nova. YAY. It made my day.
I recently put a chatterbox on my website. It kinda makes the index page...bigger. More to scroll down to, but its easier if u just click the pop-up button and you can view it that way. The chatterbox is just a cool lil gadget i found to make my site more, friendly to the people who visit it. So feel free to leave a message in it. www.geocities.com/evesygal
The only problem with the chatter box..is it doesn't save past messages, so you can't view previous chats. grr. oh well..my conversation with Al about mum jokes wasn't that interesting. I've conluded that boys are sick and twisted people who make mean jokes about other people's parents. Not that i don't understand the male humour...no, its just too immature and don't get me started.

Well michelle branch was on the Big arvo yesterday. She had the celebrity tip - which was not to eat sweets b4 interviews and stuff...it was funny at the time.
I'm in the Uni Lib at the moment. I'm here sooo early, cos..i was afraid that if i stayed home and took the eltham bus, and the train and then bus to Uni - i would be late for my exam. But since i'm here nice and early, fat chance of me missing anything...but sailormoon. Dang.
I had a fight with my dad over sailor moon the other nite. He claimed that it was childish and i should watch things like. He was only being a prick though cos i wouldn't let him watch boring programs...such as the Bill. Yes the Bill is boring..since all the good characters left/died, now its just..crappy british television drama. Where's faulty towers when u need it.
*of course the fight over my childish and immature television habits - did include yelling - but i'll save u the details- when i'm sick and in front of the TV...don't mess with me* I'm feeling better btw.

Ahh..i think i need some chocolate. Since i've been sick i've been eating less - but supposedly that is a good thing according to the weight loss guy on ET. He claimed that he could make celebrities lose like 10 pounds a week..or sumthing like that. Yes...i'll lose ten pounds...and be anorexic. Like when Harry said to me that i could lose 20 kilos - and i replied - that i was 50-55 kgs....he thought i was 60kgs.
See guys shouldn't comment on girls weight - it only makes us angry or depressed. And i'm not depressed. or angry..at the moment anyway.

My fave website at the moment is 3cargarage.com. It's an aussie hanson fan site, with damn good hostees - and the fiction isn't too bad either. But i'm kinda going off fan fiction - since taylor hanson got married - its kinda..scary..cos most fiction is about the brothers - and what we think their lives are like (think passions soap opera type stuff ). And since tay got married..its true..how much we don't know about them. Also it seems kinda wrong now. Reading fictions that fanatsies about a married man. But still..the good fiction out there - u start to forget that their writing about real people - they make up their own character representations.
Actually i signed up with fanfiction.net - i was gonna post my green jelly beans story up there. I wrote that when i was in year 10 i think..its kinda funny. But its true..i suck at diaglogue. especially male dialogue.

anyway...i've been wasting too much time on this blog..when i should be studying. I might go up stairs and do some more study. Anthropology - yay. i gotta go study up on..stuff. The whole exam is multiple choice questions - personally that sounds like fun to me- but we've been warned that its gonna be tricky.

its only 9:30 amd i'm hungry..lol...i'm gonna go distract myself now. ta ta.

Quote: "I'd been around enough girls to know how they liked to be treated. Gifts are a good thing."

Indeed.

TRACK THREE: Sk8er Boi

He was a boy, she was a girl
Can I make it anymore obvious?
He was a punk,she did ballet
What more can I say?

He wanted her, she'd never tell
secretly she wanted him as well.
But all of her friends stuck up there nose
they had a problem with his baggy clothes.

He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy
he wasn't good enought for her
She had a pretty face, but her head was up in space
she needed to come back down to earth.

five years from now, she sits at home
feeding the baby
she's all alone
she turns on tv
guess who she sees
skater boy rockin' up MTV.

she calls up her friends, they already know
and they've all got tickets to see his show
she tags along and stands in the crowd
looks up at the man that she turned down.

He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy
he wasn't good enought for her
now he's a super star
slamin' on his guitar
does your pretty face see what he's worth?

sorry girl but you missed out
well tough luck that boys mine now
we are more than just good friends
this is how the story ends

too bad that you couldn't see
see that man that boy could be
there is more that meets the eye
I see the soul that is inside

He's just a boy, and i'm just a girl
can I make it anymore obvious?
we are in love, haven't you heard
how we rock each others world

I'm with the skater boy, I said see ya later boy
i'll be back stage after the show
i'll be at a studio
singing the song we wrote
about a girl you used to know

This is one of the damn coolest songs at the moement. Its fucking grand..go download it and listen to it.

Yes well i have been..hiding from the world for the pas few days because i am sick. Yes..evelyn..the girl who gets sick every six weeks...is sick yet again. Actually, this is the first time i've been sick since...december or janurary...so i must be doing good.
Well...on Tuesday i was feeling a bit off. And then that night i got a tempreture. so far my highest has been 38.6 - go me! sadly i found out yesterday my brother beat that with a 39. So i am at home, suffering a cough, a cold and a dizzy head which is telling me to go lie down in front of the couch. And funnily enough, i haven't eaten anything since breaky, and i'm not hungry. It's 4pm by the way. And i have exams this week. urgggh..study is gonna be hard. My mother was just yelling at me for wasting time on the internet. BAH TO EXAMS AND ESSAYS!

If u haven't heard the shocking news...you will learn of it on ET tomorrow (monday). AND its so shocking- that i am still in shock. Which doesn't help me..cos i'm still in shock from Aaliyah's death and..and a no. of other incidents.
But its nothing as drastic as aaliyah's death. No..far from it.
Ok..make sure ur sitting down for this..

TAYLOR HANSON IS MARRIED!

I know! Shocking isn't it? Well..sudden is the proper word for it. BUT i am very happy for Taylor and his new wife - she's 18..he's 19. 21 is the legal drinking age in America. SEE my problem with it.
BUT no matter - its their life. If they think they can...stay together - for more than two years. Good luck to them.
They have their whole lives ahead of them..now they can spend it with each...thats a scary though...for anyone.

*i just realised..that...i didn't publish my last post. U should read that first..scroll down.*

TRACK TWO: Complicated

Uh Huh, Lifes Like this
Uh Huh, Uh Huh, thats the way it is
Cuz lifes like this
Uh Huh Uh Huh Thats the way it is

Chill out what ya yellin for
Lay back it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
you will see
I like you the way you are
When we're driving in your car
and your talkin to me one on one but you've become

Somebody else round everyone else
Watchin your back like you cant relax
trying to be cool you look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so complicated
I see the way your acting like your somebody else gets me frustrated
Lifes like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into honestly promise me im never gonna find you fakin
no no no

You come over unannounced
dressed up like your somethin else
where you are and where it's at you see
your makin me
laugh out when you strike your pose take off
all your preppy clothes
you know your not foolin anyone
when youve become

Somebody else round everyone else
Watchin your back like you cant relax
trying to be cool you look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so complicated
I see the way your acting like your somebody else gets me frustrated
Lifes like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into honestly promise me im never gonna find you fakin
no no no

Chill out what ya yellin for
Lay back it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
then you will see

Somebody else round everyone else
Watchin your back like you cant relax
trying to be cool you look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so complicated
I see the way your acting like your somebody else gets me frustrated
Lifes like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into honestly promise me im never gonna find you fakin
no no no

*MY FAVE SONG OF DA MOMENT*

I think I relate so well to this song, because it reminds me so much of Blake..funny that.
Well i'm blogging this here at Uni..cos i can. I don't even have to be here to today, but I am cos i have to hand in my essays. Yes, my two evil essays. Anthropology and Media. I started and finished the media essay yesterday. Anthropology took up most of saturday and Sunday to finish. At least that essay makes some sort of sense, the media one is all over the place. I had too much information and I didn't know where to start, and then I didn't have enough information and i didn't have enough to write.
Yes Pop/rock music evolved with technological developments..blah blah blah...MEanwhile..i found some kick ass books about the Aussie music Industry and the independant lables in sydney and stuff. Its pretty cool. The stories of hatred and fuck-ups in the industry, its all very entertaining.
So entertaining it makes me wanna start up my own record label. I reckon I could do it..with a bit of help from the right people, and a lot of money of course.
Do u know it costs half a million to launch a new act. That is another reason why Mushroom/Festival records went from 200 sumthing acts to only 16. So they can spend more money on Kylie.

I can't believe that already Holly Valance has made it to NO. 1! iTS ONLY tuesday! So what..she's s sold more singles in one week than Kylie and Eminem. Yes..well anyone can cover a song that was a hit in turkey. And honestly, have u heard that song? It gets boring after the first minute and a half. I'm sure the original versions of that cover are much..better in turkish. And I will download them to prove my point. (Not that i have much of an agrument..just a seeding hate for Holly Valance and her frog like face).
Personally I think that Kylie's song is so much better. LOL. Yes, i am defending Kylie the pop queen her self. Well...she did a duet with kermit the frog..thats just repect. Respect the frog - Lick a toad.
But it only goes to prove that while artists struggling to get off the ground are losing out to Neighbours stars! I mean..wtf. Remember those twin sisters off neighbours who tried to do a Kylie but failed? Yes..well where are they now? The live only in the neighbours re-runs on our afternoon tv screens.
OK..so Holly has prooved that she's taken a good song. Now the song is good - i mean its kinda catchy. Just a little boring in the centre near the end (yes i'm going bak on what i just said). It has to be a good song if it has been hugely popular with the other artists that covered it. But for sum reason, i'm seeing a back track in music trends. Not long ago Mandy moore released a song "In My Pocket" which is a damn good song, but it had an exotic influence that added to the feel of the song. I can;t describe it better..cos i can't think of the exact influence it was taken from. But Holly's song has also taken that turkish influence of the original song, kept it in there and polished it off as her own because she takes her clothes off for the film clip. Now..Mandy did it first. Holly took a turkish song and made it english. If truth be known..Holly had probably recorded the song at the time Mandy's was released.

Now trends in pop music are fickle. We think we are progressing and then some group or artist takes us back again.
N'sync's No strings attached is a classic pop album because of the nitty gritty sound influences that come through with the..drum machines and midi synthesizers that were arranged by Max Martin the Master Song writer and producer. N'ysnc were on to something, and it went further with the single POP (which is excellent - its a 'shouldabeenahit' song). Its australian crap that keeps reappearing on our radios and CD store shelves. Shit like Human nature which is an exact copy of N'sync second album style. And have u heard the latest crap parading on Australia's NO.1 Video hits? This 3 piece boy band - all look like their 30 years - covering a classic song- but putting a shitty early 90's dance beat over the top of it. Is it just me..or are ppl to lazy to think of something original.
Now. I'm a slave 4 u is original. Hella good is original. P.diddy is original. Missy E and Aaliyah is original.
And now with all the "Mahhhn" bands (say Mann in a deep growling voice - much like the one of the singer from creed) like creed, i argue Lifehouse, and staind, and lots of em. Rock music is coming back. And Finally Chick guitar music is coming back with the likes of sheryl crow returning to the scene and Michelle Branch and Avril Lavigne. And dare i say it..Lash is bring it bak too.
The calling, justincase, Dave matthews band (rock), Rock is slowly making its way back onto the radio.

Ya know..its a long way to the top. And record companies wonder why ppl have stopped buying CDs - well at least not in Australia. We had a 12% rise in sales...the majority of them Overseas artists. YAY. Aussie pop sucks - no surprise there. Kylie isn't aussie - she's UK now. There's a difference in the quailty of good pop/dance music in the UK than in Oz.
I think that if the record companies stop producing shit boy bands, shit music. If they take the time to make good albums. Not just good singles, there would be a rise in CD sales. Singles aren't everything. An artist makes more from album sale royalties ($2-$4 an album) than they do from singles.

So the industry should take this as a wake-up call. To sit up, and pay attention. Because the consumers won't put up with shit bands, shit music, and recycled pop any longer. Well..of course i'm mainly speaking for myself. Everything i just wrote was my opinion. And if this was an essay i'd have lil citations through out it.

If only i could write like this everyday. It took me a whole day to write an essay yesterday..the introduction took 2 hours and was still 150 words under limit.

*MUAH*
Visit me and i'll make it worth ur while ;) www.geocities.com/evesygal

LET GO - Avril Lavigne
Track One: Losing Grip

Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say
I was left to cry there, waiting outside there
Burning with a lost stare
That's when I decided

[chorus]
Why should I care
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
You, you need to listen
I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip
And I'm in this thing alone

Am I just some chick you place beside you to take somebody's place
When you turn around can you recognize my face
You used to love me, you used to hug me
But that wasn't the case
Everything wasn't okay
I was left to cry there, waiting outside there
Burning with a lost stare
That's when I decided

[chorus]

Crying out loud
I'm crying out loud
Crying out loud
I'm crying out loud

Open your eyes
Open up wide
Why should I care
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone

Why should I care
'Cuz you weren't there when I was there
I was so alone
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care
We're not going anywhere

I've decided to go with the theme of Avril Lavigne's debut album - which is fantastic. It would be unfair to compare Avril with Michelle Branch, but the two young performers are destined for big things in the future. It feels good to be excited about a new music artist, theres still too much crap in the charts at the moment and being able to hear something new is refreshing.
I don't really have anything interesting to mention at the moment, i just felt like doing a lil blog for those few people who read this. And I keep forgetting that some people actually do read it. Well..lets see...
JON - STOP READING THIS - it will do ur head in..And u can't be that bored!
To Rach - damn girl, where'd you go? give me a call NOW.
JUSTIN - if u just read that, tell rach that a phone call once in awhile would be nice :)
Lisa - HI :) (see, no long scary paragraphs for you to read).

muahaha..and the purpose of that was? Hmm..i dunno..just felt like it *shrugs*.

Relationships. Thats the main topic of conversation at the moment. I don't know why but some people make such a big deal out of it.
Well the question here is - if it is a big deal, why are people so caught up in it at the moment? And I would be the wrong person to answer that, mainly because if I didn't give so much as a shit about it, I probably wouldn't be writing about it here.
We all know that I'm single, not that I mind but other people make a deal about it(peer pressure). Like try and set me up with other people - and guys of course flirt. And because i have nothing to talk about, i shall talk about today's flirting encounter with a friend of mine, and please note: I didn't flirt at all. It was all him. I just sat and said "uh huh" alot.
Since I'm at Uni, i have met a few new people, I met most of them through Jon, btw. So I'm doing nothing sitting pretty in the ISA. And pne of jon's friends has decided he's gonna fail uni and not go to any lectures. So i'm just reading the newspaper - very interesting stuff these tv guides- anyhoo..he's talking shit and i'm like..yeah..yea...whatever. Not paying any attention.
So we start talking about shopping and clothes, and he thinks he's cool cos he's gonna buy a full length leather jacket (and to him 3000 is loose change) and he's chatting on about how impressed i'll be when I see him in the jacket with his newly aquired six pack.
I'm thinking to myself, 'ok..what is he getting at' and i finally get cluey about his flirting intentions when he moves to the seat next to me and contiues to talk about clothes. And we were talking about jeans..and he was doing the..touchy thing. I joked that he was feeling up my jeans - he was just..poking them. But i'm no..genius at flirting - but i know what it means when they start to make "contact" ..that sounded really tacky. But ya know..how when you like somone..you might..touch them on the knee. Friendly distance..that sort of thing.
Awhile earlier..this week i believe, Jon said to me that, this friend, was a bit on the friendly side. he was hinting. And I got pissed off with him..cos i was thinking, this guy is like a friend..no way. Ick...puke..all of the above.
Now i should have a point to this story, but i'm slowly getting to it. OK..in anthropology, we learnt about prejudice and discrimination. These terms are normally used in a racist context, but what about in an everyday - prejudice against people who can be catorgrized by looks and apperance. I dunno..maybe i'm bull shitting. But generally, guys say..No fat chicks. Now isn't this discriminating against girls who are comfortably over size 8? Maybe I do have a prefrence over what guys I do like. But i've realised...i'm starting to get narky at this friend who is flirting with me. Maybe cos i don't like the flirting. I get alot of un wanted attention- normally i just get weird strange people giving me a greasy, but when you arent attracted to a person..not necessailry because of apperance...but the person in general...how do polietly let the person know..your not interested in them "like that"? Now, apart from the fact - and i'l be honest - this friend..isnt at all what i go for...But i don't want him..or other ppl..to think the reasons i don't like him is because of his physical appearnce..cos its not.
But to be honest, i believe that in order for something to happen there has to be a spark of interest. You have to be able to click with them straight away. Everyone starts out as friends (Or ends as friends). Ya know what..fuck it. I should have to explain myself to anyone. Ignore this whole blog. It was a waste of time (time-waster) anyway.

Here I am so don't try to forgive me
I don't believe in fairy tales
Here we are we're nothing but honesty
I've had enough I'm not gonna stay
I'm sorry for running away like this
and i'm sorry, i've already made my wish
But Cinderella's got to go
I'm sorry just trying to live my life
Don't worry your gonna be alright
But cinderella's got to go
- Cinderella - Britney

Its been a busy last few weeks. And its been interesting aswell. Shout out to everyone who has bothered to stick with me and read this page. Kudos!
anyhoo..these blogs are becoming few and far between, i've been super busy with that thing called uni. Yes, it has become..half my life. Well my life..cos my life seems to revolve around photocopying and lectures. And how fucking cold is it? Shit..this room is like a freezer..outside is like..warm compared to in here. searious. lol. Well i can't type long, i need to get to sleep. Uni tomorrow..last Cinema studies screening and lecture for the semester. I've only got two weeks left and then exams. So i need to start my essays now. Or else i'll get behind, and screwed cos..then i'll be having screaming matches with mother over who gets the computer first. She seems to forget that i'm at uni during the week..and unless i wag a whole week..i won't get anything done. wagging lets me..stay at home..watch tv..and Then write my essay. Yeah..whateva ev.

*muah*

www.geocities.com/evesygal
-My guestbook disappeared!!!-

What is people's facsination with my love life? You know, the non-existant love life.
I think people make too many assumptions of me. For instance, they think I've dated and been with a lot of guys. Well I haven't, but that's the impression some people have of me. I don't know where people get that kind of impression of me from. I guess sometimes I can be a little full on, but I'm interested by this now. First impressions - I want to know what people first thought of me. I don't care what they think now (well I do - depends on who's making the judgments).

So I guess your wondering where this, new found topic came from? Well Jon and Matt left me at the mobile shop at La trobe - I swear it's becoming a "day-care centre" for bored youths. So I was hanging out with Gavin, he's the dude who works there.
And he told me he was very "curious" about my relationship with Jon. I think Gavin was thinking that I would confess to him my undenying love for Jon right there and then - but sadly, that will never happen (sorry Jon). Gavin was asking me lots of questions, basically quizzing me on my own life - of course everything related back to love. And i don't think he was hitting on me. Cos when he mentioned the "God, godly" fellow I guessed right away that he wanted to be a minister. That was somehow..not as reassuring as it should have been. But here I was talking with Gavin, and in the way he worded questions - he made it clear that his impressions of me was that I dated alot of guys.
The conversation wondered off a little bit, somehow the idea of soul mates came up - and he kept saying that i was the kind of person who 'believes in love' or if i were in love, i would be "deeply" in love. But i 'kindly' told him, that love isn't real - and it's only lust, inaftuation and obsession. Well - that's what I know of it anway :)

But getting back to the suggestions about me and Jon - well I find it weird, that in our Australian culture - for a male and female to be just friends - doesn't happen. That it's impossible because, well- just because it's seen as strange, not the norm. This idea actually came up in a media discussion on ideology. Well you know, it's true. That alot of people think "Oh you two look friendly *wink wink, nudge nudge*" when all it is ..is hanging and being an idiot with one of your good mates. Because it can be taken the wrong way, people think that your flirting, even when your not. Can people even tell the difference between flirting and not flirting? It's just..normal interaction with the opposite sex - what's the big deal?! Ya know, i could like a guy for a week - then instantly go-off him - but then a week later flirt with him and it not mean anything. Cos flirting isn't slutty. Everybody flirts - just some are better at it than others. It's like dirty dancing. You can dirty dance with a stranger at a fricken party - and it won't mean anything. Not that i go around dirty dancing - or as lisa likes to call it "slutty dancing."

Songs 4 the blog
Oops I did it again - Britney
Criminal - Fiona Apple
Freak like me - Sugababes
Rock'n' roll machine - The Donna's
Come On - Josie and the pussycats
Playas gonna play - 3LW
See ya - Atomic Kitten

Songs to get down and boogie to
Bootylicious - DC (remix only)
Hella good - No doubt
4 my ppl - Missy E
Strange love addiction - Supreme beings of lesuire
Run away - Nivea
Caramel - City High
One night stand - Mis-teeq

*eves* Come visit me www.geocities.com/evesygal

Playlist
Lil Bow wow - Take ya home
Sash - Ecuador!
SUGABABES - Freak Like Me
Hoobastabk - Running away
Vanessa Carlton - A thousand Miles
Robert Miles vs. Darude - Children of the sandstorm
Drowning pool - Bodies

Hey all - obviously if ur reading this u must be as bored out of ur brains as I am. yay. *sarcasm* lol
Well - alot happened yesterday - and i'm dead tired.
First off, i had a fight with someone over the net, but i won't go into it here because, i don't feel like dragging that up again.
And secondly, i went out last night. With Lisa. And, i have to say - my mother is waay to protective of me. She didn't want me staying out and crashing at one of lisa's friend's friend's house. LOL..did ya get that? lol
So she called up a taxi for me, and i was home by 2.30 am. Well b4 that whole fiasco, i was having a good old time with lisa at crown waiting for her friend, kirstie. And she's really cool, btw. so - we were at crown for..too long. And i so felt, slutty. I didn't think i looked it, i mean i was wearing my giant black -Italian- coat. But i was dressed for a good night, ya know - i was wearing a little make up and my hair was..fucked beyond repair - but thats beside the point.
So while me and lis are trying to kill sometime, we get the idea to try and see if i could get into the casino with my...la trobe ID card.
We tried twice and i got knocked back..twice. So we were wandering around, and then decide after awhile to try Barcode.
So the guy, checked my id..and he let me in. So we spent about ten minutes in there- seeing that it was just a bar..with arcade games, and u can get betta games at the galatic circus, so..we left there and continued to wonder round the place.

So..at almost 12 or sumthing like that..kirstie rolls up with her friends, and we go to the spy lounge which is just walking dist from crown. And its on king street - yay for dodgy locations. We lined up, and finally after all my "i'm not gonna get in" talk...we get to the front of the line. and the chick..who was the door bitch for the night..Or female bouncer is a nicer term - she said she couldn't just accept my la trobe card. So i offered her my medi-care card, lol..cos i have my own being 18 and all.
She asked me a few questions - like my date of birth - and i had a mental block for ten seconds - lol..i couldn't remember my b'day. Then she asked me my middle name - and i got in. so..there we were in the spy lounge. And i must admit, i liked this place better than barcode. It was packed. like..you couldn't move at all near the bars. But it was cool. The music was good..and the r&b room - which was like..this loft...was mad. ppl were dancing all over the place. And the music was cool Overall i would of like to have stayed longer and do a bit of dancing, not standing around with my handbag, but oh well..i won't get into the argument over the phone with my mom locked in a bathroom cubical.

So now..i'm gonna get my L's. cos..i need it to get in overaged places. lol..but honestly..i'm scared shitless about driving. I guess thats prolly why i've put it off..for..ooh i dunno..two fucking years..well...close to that anyway.
anyhoo..i'm gonna. go catch some Zzz's...i'm still tired.. meanwhile - who was watching rage last nite? Some mad video clips - lots of classics..like offfspring..nirvana..foo fighters...ever clear. it was mad. OK..i'm going now. TA TA

I need time, love, joy..i need space, love, i need me..
Say hello to the girl that I am
your gonna ahve to see through my perspective
i need to make mistakes to learn who i am
and i don't wanna be so damned protected
There must be another way
cos i believe in taking chances
but who am i to say
what a girl is to do gotta need some answers

What am i to do with my life? you will find it out don't worri
How am i supposed to know what's right? you just gotta do it ur way
I can;t help the way i feel
all my life has been so over protected

I tell them what i like, what i want, what i love
But everytime i do i stand corrected
Things that i've been told i can't believe
what i heard about the world i realise i'm over protected
There must be another way
cos i believe in taking chances
but who am i to say what a girl is to do
gotta need some answers

What am i to do with my life? you will find it out don't worry
How am i supposed to know what's right? you just gotta do it ur way
I can't help the way i feel
all my life has been so over protected...
----Britney "over protected" - darkchild mix is cool.

I thought i'd..type out almost all the lyrics - just for u :)
Hehe...not much is happening. I got a B for my cinema studies essay..and a C+ for my anthropology :P well..i'm just waiting for the media essay back now..and then i'm sweet.

The other week..some dude..called mike, 20 yrs-old, started talking to me on icq. But it was so obvious that, he had no idea about chat. And i know i shouldn't get fustrated by it, but i can't help but get pissed off by some ppl's lack of..skills. It's bad of me, but hey it happens. Not that i'm the greatest at the chat lingo..cos i'm not. I just know..the basics. And i know about all types of ppl since being exposed to icq random chat for..a few years.
You know how, on icq it's message based. Well, this, Mike person, would send his message, but then after he sent it, send two more messages with annoying smiley faces on them. I dunno about u, but this at first i thought he was being friendly. After the first slow hour of chatting to him all these smiley faces got annoying. Really annoying. it was like, message..second message, third message :) Now i dunno about u..but that was over kill for me. And on Icq..the lil icon for the smiley face...is fucking annoying. It's the kind of face..that..you just wanna punch a few times to break it's smile..cos it's got that pissy lil pixle smile.
So getting to the point - he starts talking to me again. And i'm thinking...do i know this guy - then i recongise the smiley faces..and i think - oh god..this guy again *rolls eyes* So he starts talking.he's "confused and sad" and i use my sarcasm on him - which he didn't get..my "poor baby" line. hehe. So he tells me, that he thinks his gf is cheating on him. I'm thinking to myself..it wouldn't surpise me..u suck! But i'm still..trying to be helpful in a none helpful way. In other words - i wasn't feeling very sympathetic. so i was like..how do u know she's cheating on u...why do u think she is cheating on u...he didn't get the last question. Good thing too..cos i was planning on insulting him with that one. He then says, "should i get another girl friend?" to which i replied - "f it will stop u from whinning to me about it...yes."
He got pissed. and said - "WELL FUCK YOU MAT" *mat? is that mate? stoopid male speeling* "DON'T COME BACK TO MY LIST AGAIN" and i think he blocked me or deleted me cos he quickly disappeared off my icq. He is now on my invisible list..which he will probably stay there for..awhile. until icq stops fucking up when i delete contacts anyway.

Yes, well..i'm a harsh bitch. But fuck - i'm tired and i've only spoken to him once. He was just looking for someone to chat to..to pour his lil bleeding heart out on someone..and he picked me...and unfortunately i've been a sarcastic bitch to him since we chatted over the net all those weeks ago.

Playlist
Britney - Boys & Overprotected darkchild remix
FAO - The next time
Sash - Oxygen
Hanson - 2002 album clips - OOHHH JOY....think ben folds five - and ur somewhat close to hanson's new sound.

For once..im not confused. Everything is simple once more. I am no longer confused with the troubles of young love,crushes,obessions, infatuation and lust. I know what i want. BUT what do you do, when you think you've stuffed it up with the one guy that ever liked u, and actually did something about it. And i mean - did sumthing other than telling you..that he liked you.
Before, I almost though I knew what I wanted. But I'm seeing things differently now.
You know that feeling, where..you think you know what you want - but your feelings are clouded by something else. Well I was like that, and now I feel like I should break into a chorus of that "I can see clearly now the rain has gone..i can see all obstacles in my way" yea..well...for me it wasn't raining. More like a fog or as i might like to call it "The fog of deception."

"Your a sexy guy, and I'm a nice girl...Lets turn this dance floor into our own nasty world" - Boys

OK..so put into even more simple terms. I want him.
I know..last blog I was saying I liked two guys. Well, if you don't know already from a number of alternative sources, My goal was to ask a guy out. I had given rach permission to kick me if i hadn't by the end of the night. LOL..she did kick me..really hard in the foot i might add..but at that stage - everything seemed resolved. He was right - going out probably wouldn't work. Anyway...he's a cool friend, and good to chat wit. So in the end..the night wasn't a failure after all..even though lisa and rach were all very..sympathetic for me...But to me, it wasn't a big deal. It was just a crush. But that whole night...i couldn't stop thinking about...the other guy. The one..that I want. I guess itz my own fault. I mean...i'm still new to this. But i can take a hint when a guy that I only talk to over the net, cancells on me - then fights with me - then an hour later apologises - then i say "Friends is best" - I mean...maybe I was just being played around. But i can't deny my basic instinctive feelings, but then again..i can;t deny my..other feelings. Ok..that sentence was so screwed up the ass it wasn't even..making sense. I bet i know what ur all thinking... "EVELYN..START MAKING SENSE!!!"

"I need time, love, joy...I need space, love...I need me."

*muah* - visit me www.geocities.com/evesygal

I learnt the truth at seventeen
that love was meant for beauty queens

OK..how is it possible. That..I ..Evelyn C. Hamlett is going through a difficult and emotional time. That's just not possible for the seemingly happy young girl who just turned 18.
Nooo..i have to make things extremly difficult. By - and ur gonna love this - I LIKE TWO GUYS! ok...i'm a horrible slut who's never slept around with anyone...Ok..so i flirt with one of them..alot. And..shit..he drives me insane. He's like...sleazy but in a good way! and i kno guys wit a one track mind u kinda have to be careful with. Maybe he's just playing with me, but i can't say i don't like it.
The other guy - is nice and a dude. Ya know..i would say..i'm more attratcted to his personality more. And plus..i like his slippers.

The most depressing thing I can do, i read my horoscopes for the day online. And since i want the most accurate horoscopes, i'll check out three different sites for the most reliable one. MSN site is a personal fave of mine because of the mood thing. But today, it just didn't cut it for me. My horoscope was ruined by the fact that it told me, i would go all..lovey dovey over a guy. Well..it hasn't happened. And i'm still single..so that says sumthing about the msn horoscopes. The other two sites, were kinda..critical of me today. Nothing good was to come out of today, so I was told by two different websites.

I need to go out. And see some friends. I'm feeling sad. I need a hug. Cos i want to see my close friends, and forget about the troubles of uni and pressures of normal home life.

I'm gonna go join the uni radio station. That's it. I'll do it...next week. And i'll get my I.D - cos i need some Alc...

Playlist
Michelle Branch Goodbye to You - *as seen on buffy last monday!*
Jimmy Eat World - Crimson and Clover
The Donna's - Rock and Roll machine & checkin it out
Usher - U turn & You don't have to call
Incubus MTV unplugged - Clean
Jamiroquai - Where do we go from here
Ashanti - Foolish
Counting Crows - Catapult
P.diddy feat. Usher - I need a girl
Goo Goo dolls - Here is gone
Alicia Keys - how come you don't call me?
No doubt - Hella good *****recommend*****
Silverchair - Luv your life

WHEN THE PAWN hits the conflicts he thinks like a King
What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight
And he'll win the whole thing 'fore he enters the ring
There's no body to batter when your mind is your might
So when you go solo, you hold your own hand
And remember that depth is the greatest of heights
And if you know where you stand, then you know where to land
And if you fall it won't matter, cuz you'll know that you're right
- Fiona Apple

OOH LOOKIE HERE!!! Lil' Ev ain't so Lil any more...yes..i turned 18 on monday..The 15th of April. Yay for me. I'm legal now ;)

Ok..ya know how I was dissing beauty magazines. Well..everything I said..now..is contradicts and makes me seem like a fricken hypocrit. I have nails. Long...square..white fake acrilic nails. And they are a bitch.
Now i didn't ask for these nails. Last saturday my mom said she had a surpise for me. So i got up early, went to pick up my b'day cake (*SHAMLESS PROMOTION - ARNOLD'S CAKES HEIDELBERG - BEST CAKES IN TOWN..TRUST ME*) then mom was driving..and soon i found my self a her fricken nail salon place. which incidently is in heidelberg also. So I was all WTF is going on here? And two hours later..i come out of the shop with nails. Ok..so..they look cool. But long nails are an absoulte pain in the fricken ass! My fingers hurt cos i keep bashing the fake nail on stuff...and i got pen marks all over them...and pen ink doesn't come off these nails easily...ahh well. I'm stuck wit em for a few months now.

HoTmaiL Is A BiTcH!

and plz..no more mail to my kittymail addy ppl - i never use it..its for all the crap mail - similar to what i get in hotmail..lol.

*muah*

Playlist
The cars - Let the good times roll
Imperial Teen - Yoo hoo
Letters to cleo - I see
Transistor - Flow
Jack Drag - We are we
**These songs are from the Jaw Breaker soundtrack**

Well..Media and Cinema studies are a bitch. Two essays due on my birthday. I am very busy. I have..now..less than four days to whip them up and hand them in! But tomorrow..i shall conquer this media bitch essay and start on cinema studies on saturday.
Well tomorrow i'm having my birthday at TGI friday's - just a gathering type dinner and drinks thing. hehe..But for tomorrow only i'll be 18 - cos i wanna be able to drink at TGI's..so..itz cocktails and flings for me!

I have decided that teen magazines are the scum of the earth. I now believe that magazines have probably caused alot of teen eating disorders which could have been prevented if these magazines didn't publish such stoopid articles about weight loss and the ideal body image. But magazines sometimes don't even have to publish these articles - its the magazine as a whole that contributes to the bad influence. The pictures of young 14 year old models that look like 20 somethings are enough to make you want to be sick.
And the wonder why now bulimia and anorexia is becoming more and more acceptable with teens. Just look anorexia up on the internet and all these websites and communities about being thin as a lifestyle which follow the commandments "Thou shall not eat."
Society is letting this happen - it is letting these images of young women be advertised. Dolly magazine and girlfriend or the American Seventeen - who's main audience is 14-15 year old girls - They are promoting this type of life style which is only attainable through constant exercise/dieting and thru the purchasing of commodities (eg, fashion and cosmetics) and that somehow this will make them a better person "inside and out." Isn't it the same beauty magazines that tell their readers - to love and accept their bodies - to love who they are, but instead they give advice on how to change your looks so you can pick up, and how to "make you self popular." Popularity and trends are superficial. Of course the world is very superficial these days - You only have to watch an episode of Absoutley Fabulous to realise how superficial the trend and the people are.

"I didn't eat today, and I didn't eat yesterday, and I'm not gonna eat tomorrow - cos I wanna be a supermodel"
- "Supermodel" Jill Sobule

Girls read these magazines for advice, and because their curious about certain subjects. Of course - if everyone in the world thought that they were ok - and that they were beautiful in their own precious way, there wouldn't be a need for these types of magazines and advertising. Advertising is a form of education - it teaches us to be consumers, cos otherwise - how else will they sell these products to mindless and influential "potential" consumers? One advertising big shot once said "Take a 7 year old and introduce him to adverstising - and you've got him for life." If you want to know about modern and contemporary lifestyle/society - all you have to do is look to advertising.

Advertsing plays on our desires and emotions - it tells us "You're not Ok..cos your not using our products."
It will never say "Your ok - your fine just the way you are" because to do that - would mean you wouldn't need their products and you wouldn't help them make a profit off you. So they play on your insecurities, they make you feel ugly and tell you that your fat and not perfect - and not cool. They try to make your life easier by saying "Our product/service will make u lose weight" "We can change your lifestyle" and "You can be a better person(eg. Mother, friend, daughter) if you own one of our products."
You can't escape this advertising. It's a big business. Millions is spent each year on marketing products, and only 50% of advertising actually works - the problem is - which 50%? So it's a superficial world - and we just live, eat, breath and think consumerism.

I shall leave you now with some interesting quotes...

"I want to be the girl with the most cake
I love him so much it just turns to hate
I fake it so real I am beyond fake
Some day you will ache like I ache"
- Courtney Love

"Everybodu knows I wear Gucci and Chanel and I feel a more valuable person if I have them." - Atsuko, Japanese schoolgirl prostitute

"For when I ask him if this necklace is alright he replied, 'Yes, if no means looking at three others.' - Wendy Cope, 'My Lover'

"Sometimes when you can't feel anything, you'd rather feel pain than nothing." - Lydia Lunch

Playlist
S.O.A.P - Miracle *the whole album...too many songs to write up here*
Watch The princess diaries, the princess bride, crouching tiger/hidden dragon. THE MUMMY*oooh..spoookky*
Read: Cinema studies - 80 pages...grrr....

I just wrote my whole anthropology assignment. It was long and difficult. 1000 words of bull shit that's supposed to be an essay is very hard to fill. And now i'm dead tired. So i'll probably go to sleep early tonite because I have uni tomorrow.
We're watching Dity Harry in cinema..hehe :)
But my uni work doesn't stop there. Tuesday i have to hand in my linguistics sheet..so i'll do that monday night. It's pretty easy.
Then on the 15th *MY BIRTHDAY* I have two essays due, which i need to complete by the weekend. Cos my mother came home this afternoon and started yelling at me for having people over yesterday and not doing my essay then. I finished the essay! The cinema studies one should be easy - but all damn essays have refrence systems and stoopid bibliographies. Ya know...i haven't written a bibliography since...........ya know my essays at mlc never had bibliographies..or refrences. how long is that word..Bibliography...I'm probably not even spelling it right..lol..
I hate work. I do. only school work of course. I hate essay writing...itz such bull shit.

Anyway - Friday night was Andrew's party. And it was carlos's birthday! yay! So we all went to La Porchetta *how ever ya damn speel it* Yes...Lisa got impatient with the old waitress person. mmhehe.
But Andrew's party was good - maybe i mixed a really digusting drink and got horribly tipsy within my first 20 minutes of arriving. And yes I did dance my lil feet off - but the alchol got the better of me. Now i know what they mean by it not being a stimulant. I'm gonna stick to caffine. No more vodka - unles itz in a ruski or cruiser :)

But the party got me thinking. I'm seeing all my friends around me - and their all with someone. It got me thinking about Chris. Now if u don't know who he is by now...i'll fill u in. I met him at Matt T's party.
I don't know if i've made any mistakes - i don't feel like i have. I mean - i like being friends with people. Friends always come first. Guys second. that's how i've always thought of it. But it just gets so annoying when ur the odd one out.
I mean...I'm not really looking for any one. I just wish i could feel like I had someone. Someone who understands me...someone who actually likes me - and does something about it! No more dancing round the issue and no more crushes. I'm sick of crushes! They cause more harm than good to a person! trust me..i know. My whole Taylor hanson crush back in 97-99 was just not healthy. nahuh.
I guess maybe i'm just fustrated. I'll be 18 soon and i've never had anything - interesting. I have had a boring life so far. I had a shit childhood...and a few crappy teenage years. SO adult hood...well...turning 18 is nothing interesting. I'll just be one year older. BUt i'll be able to drive and buy alchol *and not get kicked out of safeway liquor store for not having ID* I'll be able to get into pubs and over age gigs. All this shit i couldn't do b4. But this means nothing to me. It's not important. Well it is - because when i'm 18 i'll have more freedom. But honestly, i lack knowlege and experince in so many things still.
Maybe all this - is just me trying to make sense of how I feel. I feel inadequet. not good enough. But that;s just one part of me...one part of how i feel. Yes i'm confused. and maybe i just confused myself more.

"What is a place doing in a girl like this!"

whateva..i'll post more later. *muah*

:: I have alot of stuff to put up here - but i don't think that even half of it will be posted. So here is something i wrote not that long ago. It's not too personal, but there are a few personal elements included. And some of what I had written was kinda...angry. and long. lol. So for some reason i don't think I'll be stuffed to write it out. ::

This was written the day after the antioch weekend...whenever that was. lol

The most heartbreaking thig is liking someone so much it hurts - then to realise that they could never like you back.
"The greatest thing you'll ever know is to love and be loved in return" - Moulin rouge.
I guess forawhile back there, someone was liking me. But of course it all went downhill. And All I remember was two blissful weeks of phone conversations that lasted hours and that dizzing high I got from it. I was so happy - finally.
I had never felt that way about anyone, but sadly it turned to shit and it was obviously never ment to be.
Of course that disappointment I felt lasted weeks, it tortured me inside and out. And then learning the truth that he had already found himself someone else - other than me - I didn't break. I didn't cry. I just didn't feel anymore. I just couldn't care.
I can't hate her for being the one to get the guy I liked at the time. It's no one's fault but mine - for letting myself fall so hard for someone.

Someone once said to me "That if a guy makes you cry, he's not worth it."
I did cry once - during those two intensly emotional blissful weeks - but that was part of the High. What goes up, always comes down hard. I had hit several lows that liking him so much made me cry and become upset over it.
Love hurts. I think when i fall in love, I'm gonna wear kneepads...to cushion my fall. But through whatever happens, you need to pick yourself up and try again.
"You never truly get over your first crush" - Well then i'm doomed for eternity.

I guess I hope better for my friends, that they all find what their looking for. They they find love, peace and happiness with someone.
For myself I want to be more open to people. To express my feelings better, not to run away from the possibility of love, no matter how much it scares me.

"I could give away everything I posess - but If I lack love - then I am nothing at all" - lauryn Hill "tell him"

I know that someday I'll figure this all out. Love won't be such a mystery, and I'll understand it better than I do now.
I'll find out that love isn't like it is in the fan fiction I read. I'll learn that it's even better than anything i've ever imagined - Or it could just be a shotty experience and a terrible let down. But i don't think it will be....hopefully. God willing.

I do have something to post...But itz like...almost 6 pages long. So when i get time to de-code it all...cos itz all in messy hand writing...I'll post it..friday! I'll do it friday since i have the day off.
And if i don't post it - well..i'm a lazy ass..don't expect any miricles.

I can only do one thing per day..
and today is not ur day.
And tomorrow doesn't look good either.

PlayList:
Brandy - What about us?
Daniel Bedingfield - Gotta get thru this
Tweet - Oops Oh my
Dawn Robinson - envious
Ja rule feat. Ashanti - Always on Time
Aaliyah - Rock the boat & More than a woman
Puddle of Mudd - Blurry
The Calling - Where ever you will go & Adrienne
N'sync Feat. Nelly - Girlfriend

I was at the Antioch weekend...last weekend. from the 8th - 10th.
Well it wasn't as good as last years, It felt a little flat. Like the enthusiasm wasn't there. It didn't pick up until Kath and LJ arrived and the music came to life. I've always found music to be very important in things like this...and the weekend started a little slow.
But I did have a good time other than that. I'll admit..i found it hard to concentrate on what they were on about this year. I did fall asleep...for a few seconds...in a few of the talks. Because they are just so damn long. I swear..they go on forever.
But I wasn't bored, because I did enjoy what i was doing - and I appreciated what they were trying to get across to us all.
OK...so I had a few problems with some people there. Several people actually. But i won't go into that because it just makes me angry. grrr.

I was at the Queen of the Damned Australian premier in Melbourne on Wednesday night. It was at the Sidney Myer Music Bowl. And it was an overall top night!
Rach, Justin and Rach's older bro came along - and we all had a fan-tastic time. Seating was a little tricky cos we were on the lawn. A hill to be precise. But picnic blankets rock. LOL. Yes..the one I brought along was very nice indeed.
The movie was good. Not great. But I think everyone should see it - because the acting was half bad. The story was alittle patchy in places, but overall I enjoyed the bulk of it.
The Aaliyah scenes were excellent though. The Vampire Bar was cool. But it was a little disturbing seeing Aaliyah pull out a beating heart and eat it..hmm. But Stuart Townsend is a hottie. Oh yes..bring on the accent...he is to die for...literally.

I'm going to a party tonite. I'll be seeing a few friends i haven't seen for a long while. It should be good though. My homegirl Lisa will be there :) And Fresh Meat! hehe - *that's my term for...new guys...lol*

cya all later! *eves*

I don't usually post messages on message boards. I just...don't seem to get into it because the conversation is either really boring or doesn't apply to me. And I haven't been a fan of the Hanson message boards either. I am always the antisocial member of a yahoo club. I just join them cos people ask me to and not that i don't like recieving those long newsletters in my e-mail, I just don't particpate much. I've never been one to be actively involved in anything...not that i'm lazy I just don't find myself interested in doing that. As Ms. Duncan put it last year, I like to sit back and watch things go on around me.

Well yesterday Tracey (online buddy) asked/ordered me to post in her yahoo club. Cos her club had been pretty quiet for some time. Well i was kinda like...nahhh..not in the mood. But i posted something anyway. Now, my side of it before you read it - you need to understand the mood I was in. I was missing out on Charmed to be on the net - and i was hungry as a hippo - I had been having cravings all day (No I am not pregnant!) and i was grouchy.. Now what I wrote wasn't meant to be taken seriously at all - I was gonna write "IGNORE THIS MESSAGE" for the subject title..but i thought Bitchin was more appropriate.
Well here it is for you :
hello....so...nothing much is happening in the world of Hanson..well unless u consider the fact that they are "supposedly" recording another album...but do they seriously expect us to believe that? It doesn't take that long! Some bands take two weeks to record whole albums. And with all the music technology these days you don't have to spend months and months recording!
If u ask me..(which u didn't but i'm gonna tell u anyway) they are all just sitting on their cute lazy lil butts thinking "Oh..the fans are loyal..they won't stray after waiting this long!" HA! Boys..don't even think of coming back to Australia...cos they've already forgotten u there :P

OK..i know it was mean. It was 'Evelyn sarcastic bitch mean.' I was bitchin about my fave band just cos i could. OK...maybe I wanted to take out my fustration on Hanson (A museli bar was tormenting me on the desk in front of me). I just wanted to spark a reaction from other club members...See what other people thought...spark a conversation.
Now this was the reply I got...

alright first off you lazy, lifeless, beast of burden... They arent lazy they are being professional. It may take other bands two weeks to record their albums, but Hanson is taking their time in doing this so that they can get it right. You should'nt call youself a real fan if you keep bashing them like this. They are taking so much time to please the fans...of course your not being that thankful. You're acting like you own them you self-centered bitch. I usually don't reply to these messages but you need to get it right.
Tasha

I was thinking of writing something really mean back with alot of Fucks and Shit in my reply..but i thought against it.
I like how she says "IF you keep bashing them like this" If she must know..it was the first ever time I've actually bashed them on a public forum. OK..hehe..this one's a winner "They are taking so much time to please the fans...of course your not being that thankful"
Hey...does anyone remember the last time Hanson pleased their fans in Australia?....well..dang I must have missed it.
"I usually don't reply to these messages" - Ya know..she should have just ignored my message..cos now she's got me hurt by the "self-fish bitch" line.

I thought the Internet was about expressing your opinions? And considering that was the first time I ever wrote more than four words in a message board..I don't think i'm gonna do it again. These Americans are too aggressive for my liking.

'I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.'

That is the Bene Gesserit "response from the Litany against fear." It is from the fantastic book Dune - which I am a big fan of.
Now i know its like Sci-Fi...But itz not like "And the Captain of the star ship cruiser fought the devilish demons from outer space" Not that type of crap. Nooo. These books are based more on politics than that trekkie type of shit.
It's a complex story with lots of characters..in fact there are so many its hard to keep track. So there are so many other sub-story lines inter-woven in the story.
I love the books, well i've only read so far the 3 prequel books which do help give more insight into the already complex storylines. It just also makes it easier for the reader to better understand the characters involved.

Anyhoo. I like to think that passage above works. That something like that can calm you or have a soothing affect.
Maybe i'm being silly...but at the moment i think i have alot to be scared about.

What do I fear?
I fear old age
I fear getting fat(ter)
I fear dying
I fear that i might have hives...or some unknown disease that hasn't been detected yet..lol.
but i don't think i do.
I fear that i will be forever lonely
I fear love
I fear the future
I fear my past
I fear the unknown
I fear what I will become
I fear that i'll never be truely happy
I fear Fear itself, that the thought of fear..is enough to make me fearFUL.

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart too broken
Do i cry too much
Am I too out spoken
Don't i make you laugh
Should i try it harder
Why do you see right through me?

I live, I breathe
I let it rain on me
I sleep, I wake
I try hard not to break
I crave, I love
I've waited long enough
I try as hard as I can

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart too broken
Do i cry too much
Am I too out spoken
Don't i make you laugh
Should i try it harder
Why do you see right through me?

I laugh, I feel
I make believe its real
I fall, I freeze
I pray down on my knees
I hope, I stand
I take it like a man
I try as hard as I can

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart too broken
Do i cry too much
Am I too out spoken
Don't i make you laugh
Should i try it harder
Why do you see right through me?

Why do you see
why do you see
why do you see right throught me?

- Kasey Chambers

I found myself crying the first time I heard this song. I'm sure that everyone can identify with the theme of the song.

Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, go sister
He met Marmalade down in old New Orleans
Strutting her stuff on the street
she said "Hello hey Joe, you wanna give it a go?"
Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da
Gitchi gitchi ya ya hee
Mocca chocolata ya ya
Creole Lady Marmalade

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi!

Labelle baby! Original versions of songs always sound so much better...hmmm.

How was valentines day people? goot goot? hmm...mine was uneventful. Because valentines day is like every other day to me. Dull.
But thank u to carlos who drove round to my house (his mum drove, but itz not like he lives that far away) and he gave me a card. I found it amusing, and cute. So i guess u could say that it is offically the first valentines day card i've ever recieved. Which is kinda cool in a weird pathetic way(pathetic for me). And e-cards and sms text messages don't count by the way :)

I was updating bits of my webpage before, and i felt like i needed to advertise it all over the web. So i went into the geocities*coughGeocitiesisabitchcough* and clicked on the list member link thing. So the first thing i have to do is decided what my webpage is about so it can be classified underneath one of the genres or sub-genres. Sadly "Personal pages" don't come under this, so i tried teenagers...didn't come up with anything. Then I tried issues and cultures and somehow found myself in the female section. So i decided to check out the women sub-heading. Well itz kinda sad to say that more than half of the websites under that heading are porn sites. So i'm not gonna put my site under that heading with all those porn sites..cos ya know someone might come looking to my site for naked pics of me..and be sorely disappointed.

i might be going to my beach house tomorrow...i dunno...depends on the weather. It's supposed to be a shitty weekend...so maybe not. Plus i've still got this damned cold. but i'll live :)

Mood : Sick - again. I have been sick three times recently..once in Nov, Dec and now Feb. All those times i've had colds, sore thraots and i've been coughing like the seal. And all three times..it hasn't been fun.
Listen: hanson - wake up (on the princess diaries soundtrack) & Toya "I do!"
Album: The tea party "The interzone mantras" - EXCELLENT -

I've been reading up on Passions lately. I found this really cool site with episode archives- so i guess u could say i'm too impatient, considering i find the pace of the whole show..rather slow. For two weeks the characters were stuck in a timewarp, it was the same day/night for two weeks. Ya know the whole jazz club thing? well thankfully that all ended yesterday finally - now their onto a new day. And i've calculated that its gonna be at least two-three months worth of episodes before Ethan finally admits his love for Theresa. But for those of you who wanted to know - a lot of shit does go down. Let's just say, Theresa ends up drunk and does something really dumb with Ethan's step father Julian Crane. Oops! Did i say step father?...i won't spoil it for u all. lol....but i know what happens.
The beauty of the internet.
And the whole Chad and Whitney thing - let's just say it goes on and on and on and on and on......

hey..itz valentines day tomorrow..how unlucky. But ya know..i think tomorrow i write a blog about the evils of commercialised holidays. I mean..just look at easter. Supermarket's have no morals...they start selling hot cross buns and easter eggs like two months early. I don't know why though...do they think people are gonna stock up on chocolate and buns early? cos they'll be rotten by the time easter rolls by.
Itz pathetic if u ask me.

I was on Nova 100 last nite...i was doing the "Evelyn Hamlett's Nova 19's" which basically was songs i had choosen off a list and the station screwed up my song order...but oh well! I was on the radio. and yes..it was lots and lots of fun.
They picked me up in the Nova "Cassanova" car - which is the coolest car with a wicked sound system...the car radio is permently fixed on Nova.
I won't go into all the details here - but it was loads of fun and i got me a free size 14 tee shirt. Despite itz largeness...it's a damn cool tee shirt.

OK..i did see the tea party at gaslight on wednesday..that was very cool indeed. They are excellent performers - and i'm glad to say..that despite the fact that i only own two of their cd's (tangents and the interzone mantras) i knew all the songs they performed.
I think they played five songs..i'm guessing here - but it sounded fantastic.
And i got my cd's signed - which is very cool...cos now..they have the band's signatures on it - in gold ink. ooh ahhh.
I was with james the whole time - and we were on our feet for three hours...cos first we had to line up to get into the performance..and then we had to line up to get our stuff signed..and of course..we were at the back of the line.
But going in was weird - i remember james said to me "Don't say anything" or sumthing like that. I dunno what he thought i was gonna do...like go all teeny on him and start blabbering and saying weird shit like "i love u."
Well..i might say that if i was meeting hanson or mandy moore (i luv her music - not her..but hey i'd like to be blonde, thin and be talented).
Well..when i went first to jeff - the singer and lead guitarist - i was like "hi sign my stuff..thankx' then i moved on to the other jeff and stuart (bassist and drummer) who were very cool.
That day i was wearing my joy enriquez top - those of u who have seen it know which one i'm talking about :) - and jeff and stuart asked me what my top said..and of course being the blonde that i am..lol...i said "Ya know..i don't really know what it says."
You know how most ppl try to say something...deep and meaningful to a band so that they might remember them..well i kinda ignored that and went straight for the first answer at the top of my head there.

For one thing...the tea party's music reaches out to a broad audience. There were goths there, hippy looking ppl, i saw one of two ska kids. I thought i would stand out and ppl think me some lil wannabe trendie or shit like that. NOt that i am a trendy..i just like the clothes :) Or that they would think me a teeny...and i felt weird that all i had to show for myself as a tea party fan was two cds.
But ya know...i wasn't the only person like that there...so it was cool.

I was at the www.queenofthedamned.com webpage just b4...there is a lot of stuff to look through on the flash site! lots of music...and itz actually quite good. So i advise that u all check that out..but be warned..the pages take ages to load.

Music wise...hmm - i was in a downloading mood today. I'm getting sick of the old mp3's on my playlist - so i've recently downloaded a few damn good songs.
Toya - I do!! & "I do! pt2"
Play that funky music white boy
Natalie Imbruglia - Wrong Impression ***recommend***
Mary J Blige - Dance for me
Kasey Chambers - Am I not pretty enough ***recommend***
Labelle - Lady Marmalade
I really like that Kasey Chamber's song...itz very simple and nice. And i find i can easily relate to the lyrics :)
hehe..but i was playing that "funky music white boy" song all day...cos..since i saw the movie evolution...i've been obessed wit the song...lol.

me going now...nite kids *MUAH*

hey all!
well...what a weird time it has been. Sorry about all my emo crap last blog. I was kinda in a bad place back then.
I gotta stop with this whole negative thing cos i think its starting to get to me.lol.

OK..HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA! for tomorrow..cos she turns 18! yay! geez..everyone is older than me!

right..now..what else......wednesday...1pm at gaslight, the Tea Party are doing an instore. I'm going to dat..cos i luvvvv the tea party and i wanna get my cds signed. Should be fun, cos i'm going wit my buddy james :) if anyone else would like to come..u are welcome to.
I honestly don't have much to write in my blog..lol. Oh..if ur into mandy moore fan fiction..and u don;t mind a bit of hanson fan fic thrown in...i found this really good story sweet as candy..itz kinda amusing actually and some interesting views of mandy moore. Read the story and you'll get what i mean.

I was at Antioch last nite. it was good. :)

watch: Romeo must die DVD and Gladiator *roar*
listen: tea party - The interzone mantras
eat: those sour worms - hehe the gummi ones and the star burst ones...mmm...sour.
thought for the day: "It's a girls world. Boys just live in it."

*MUAH*

Do you want to know what i realised today? That i am living a lie. I am a lying fraud.
I'm fake, phoney, and i'm beginning to see clearly since...last wednesday..that i am making the biggest mistake of my life.
And i'm not joking here...cos this is serious. And i've only just realised what i'm supposed to be doing with my life.

You know how some things just simply make a person. A passion for art can mould ur personality, interests and likes.
What i mean is, Music is something that is the driving force behind me. Without music..i won't die..but i won't be able to be me. Music is who i am..and i've only just accepted that. While i love listening to music, and i love the business side of the industry...i see that I was given the ablity to sing. I'm not fantastic...but i'm not that bad either (*www.mp3.com/studio_414 -listen to pretty eyes*).
The real thing that has been holding me back (apart from my parents who don't fully support my music ideas..but pretend to go along with it anyway) is that i haven't always been an out-going person. Even now i will argue that i'm still not like that. I'm not always loud or bitchy. Despite what some people might think of me; is that i have feelings and fears. I've always wanted to be someone else...something that people won't expect. But the truth of it is..that I am very very shy. That's why meeting people can be scary for me. Now if i find that scary...Imagine performing in front of strangers...and your friends. People who will judge your every move..every wrong note. Cos when your on stage..Someone is always watching you. Always.
Now i dunno about u..but all that attention kinda freaks u out if ur not prepared for it. And my confidence levels have always been low...u could say that by me being shy..kinda affects my confidence.
Now for those who know me..don't think i'm shy at all. not at all. I remember first telling some people about it..and they laughed at me and didn't believe that i could ever be shy. Well..now itz a known fact.
But i have to say that..i'm not always lacking in confidence*hehe ;)*... Only when it comes to my limited "musical ability."

The last time i did a public performance was mlc speech night. And i have to say that it was finally nice having people tell me they thought i was good. And ya know..being told ur fantastic kinda makes ur day :)

And what brought along this realisation?
It wasn't until a few days ago...when i accepted my offer from la trobe uni to do arts...instead of accepting JMC's music business offer..i realised instantly the decision i had made. I had trashed my dreams of working in the music industry...to waste three years of my life doing an arts course..that i don't really want to be doing. It's what my parents want me to do. And since when have i taken career advice from my olds? I mean...i fully intend to pursue the music industry career..i'll only be 20 by the time i finish the arts course..so i guess i still have time.
I just hate thinking that i'm signing my life away for three years...when it's music i should be doing. And ya know what..i realised that performing is what i should be doing. I should be performing to my hearts content. Because if i wait too long...its not gonna happen.

Do you want to know my biggest problem? That itz taken me so fucking long to figure this out.

Do you wanna see something? Well...do ya? Punk
*I know what some ppl on da net are like.. So please don't steal - cos otherwise i will hunt you down and gut you like a fish :)*

30th December 2001:
"Live like this"
He never exsisted
Only a shadow in my mind
The tales and stories were mock-ups
a cruel lie to tell us all

I knew a greater being existed
beyond the depths of history
books with thoughtful words,
buildings with empty meanings.

The higher power was true
in the realms of my imagination
They swore us salvation
And all we got was the future

If man is a dying breed,
what are we doing to stop it?
Leaking poision into the generations,
the human rats of the world,
An Oceania worth the populace,
dragged to the end of its resources.
Yes he intended for us
to Live like this.

30th Dec 2001
"Fool to you"

A broken heart that was never meant to be broken,
mine was an easy target,
vunerable to all things new
I was bound by curiosity
and hurt by my lack of...

Knowledge and want of these things
led me to this place,
Where i'll never find peace while i'm tortured like this.

I was easy game
Prey right for the killing.
I was a willing victim,
I let myself fall for those irreplaceable first kisses
-which never came.

I'll never be a fool to your kind again.

A broken heart always leds to tears,
mine wasn't torn by your cruelty,
But by your lack of...
I never cried those tears
Only conterfeit tears to fool your kind
into believing me.

I had captured your attention,
I never lied or told false,
You never said and you were never honest.
It was your kind i never knew.
It's my heart and secrets I never told
It's your head i never understood.
I let your inconsistancies pass me by.

I always wondered if-
I always played with "if only"
of dreams and thoughts that would never happen or begin.

You'll never understand the full workings of my emotions,
I grow intelligence and awearness of your actions.
Because i was your fool - i'll never trust myself near you again.
And it's pathetic how you'll never know...
I won't be another fool to you.

copyright - Evelyn Hamlett, 2001-2002

What do u think about dat? Write me evesygal@yahoo.com

*muah*

i'm gonna put up some stuff...i should have done a long time ago.
It's all just basically stuff i've written over the past year..ya know, poems, song ideas, thoughts, rants, etc.

September 01'
Fate - (rant)
I got into a convo with lisa (while at ruffy lake) and she asked me what i thought about Fate.
And it got me thinking, about what my definition of fate was.
So i believe that life presents us with opportunities and offers us "Yes or No" choices, Which can led you in different directions.
And It's the decisions we make that affect our lives. Fate can take you places and led you to people. You might meet someone, and itz fate that got u there.
For example! When I arrived extremly late to see a Drama play earlier in 2001...I arrived at the same time as someone else. Who i started talking with and sat next to during the play. Now..this guy was yr 12 marcellin boy who was studying drama. And in the interval we stayed and chatted and the guy was also doing media and photography for his project. The whole time i was thinking "Do you want to come to my formal" and "FUCK Evelyn! Get his phone number!" But ya know..i could have asked..but i didn't. I let the damn opportunity pass me by. All he said was "Yeah i'll see you at the next play" So obviously..he could of asked me for my number..but didn't. Well of course..MLC didn't book the same night as marcellin for the next play..so i've never seen him again.
But that was fate. There was this guy..who i had something in common with and i could get on well with. I was presented with a golden opportunity, but i didn't take it.
See..i could have had a boyfriend by now...or him as a formal date instead of having a drunk rach ask Tom for me(it wasn't my idea).

Ringwood (thing)
Ringwood makes me sick. It's like box hill, but less chinese groceries and there isn't a morning glory in ringwood.
It's like a hole. I hate holes. Their like ruts you can't get out of. Their like pot holes in the road, ones that you fill up and fix, but after awhile it creeps back again. A shotty hole once more.

More later Kids *muah*

Helllooo my blogger friends...i've missed u!!!

Where have i been? I dunno..but i was very busy last week. I was at the city Mon and tues...then Wed i was hanging around shoppo wit my boo lisa and carlos. And i have learnt that some guys just aren't into chick shopping. And that they don't appreciate being dragged around shoppo going to every chick clothing store. It can result in some bad moods.
I met up with James on the tuesday in da city. Thanx for the blue "I SCREAM" sundae! appreciate it..considering the thing almost made me sick. But James is a very interesting person...and a little gross. he has a metal rod thing in his leg. I swear that boy get into accidents on purpose. But he's a dude..and he's smarter than he looks.
Tomorrow evening i believe that first round offers come through...so good luck to everyone! I hope u all get a place at uni!
Lisa visited me yesterday - we went for a walk in the 30 something degree heat. It was very hot.
But she stayed over awhile at my place and we cooked dinner. That was weird. She has a thing for being healthy all of a sudden.
Or more like..reminding me that i should eat more healthy...cos my junk food habits are baaaad.

I actually gave into my parents today - They finally got me to vac the car today. After months of nagging..i finally cleaned that god damn little piece if shit of a Honda. *if u ever see a car round Melb called JUMO..honk for me*
Its really weird how that car hardly breaks down...yet our Saab - which is newer than the Honda...always seems to fuck up at the most inapropriate times.

Ya know..i've been listening to some pretty funky shit lately....112 are fucking mad r&b - go download 'dance wit me' cos it'll have ya grooving all over da place. And Nivea's "Run away" is very cool also.

*muah*

Hello.
Watch: SURVIVOR!
Listen: UNIT WAS ON NOVA FM TODAY!!! WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!
OK...i knew Ethan was gonna win b4 i tuned in tonite...so it kinda ruined the surprise. Actually..ICQ fucked the surprise for me. I found out on there.
But overall - i found the episode interesting. The lil studio twist at the end was smart, i would never have guessed that they were in a studio..except for the fact that when Kim last spoke b4 the vote...she didn't speak into the mic properly. That was a give-away.

Also in the non-exciting news department: Hanson made a guest apperance on Sabrina the teen witch - Isaac Hanson has the dorkiest hair around. If u want pics...go visit hansonhotel.com.

Happy b'day to Jon Tu - You're a dude :)

Thought for the day: Damn i wish i re-taped that Raw Spice special on channel ten...

Cya round kids! *muah*

YO!
Listening to: Strong enough to break - Hanson & Mis-teeq "One night stand"

Damn i'm in a good mood.

For those who don't know...i was away last weekend with Rach, Justin (Tospol) & lisa at my beach house.
We had tons of fun - got sunburnt and all that - I now have peeling shoulders as a result of that. LOL.
Yesterday i went to chaddy with the same ppl - we went b'day present shopping.
Do you know how hard it is to find a good b'day present for a guy?insane! But at the what's new shop they have some interesting calenders of fat women (actually that was barf material) and the "Adults only" section proved quite interesting. Male Chasity belts are my new favourite things ;) Justin (Tospol) is getting on for his birthday - But i don't think Rach will like the sound of that...lol..just joshing ya kids!

*Thought for the day : "Chopdicks anyone?"*

*Eves*

You know...i don't think people understand the concepts of flirting.
Especially when it comes to me.
FOR EXAMPLE: I may be having an innocent conversation with...a guy *SHOCK HORROR!* and just because i'm leaning against him (...my leg might be next to his), batting my eye lashes does not mean i'm flirting. I could be having a very real and serious conversation..but not about what u think.
And people...observing - because they can't hear what we're conversing about...don't need to jump to conclusions because of what they see.
Just because i may have had a little too much champagne...does not mean i'm drunk cos i'm flirting with two guys at once! HONESTLY! I AM NO SLUT...and i wasn't perving on them...it was the other way round from what sources tell me.

ok maybe i've said too much.

mood: It'z Hillarious Daarrrllling!
listen: HANSON - live at the fillmore - IF ONLY. & Cleopatra - You got it & Mis-teeq
Thought for the day : I AM NOT COMMERICIAL!
Song that i relate to the most today(which includes this morning at 1:30am): Everywhere by Michelle branch

Wellll i had a great time last nite. And ya know..i was feeling really good..then i had to go and read my horroscopes!
And these are my yearly horroscopes...so it was full of all this dread and "don't take risks..especially near water" bullshit.
And it doesn't mention anything about my up and coming love life...so i'll assume that itz still not existant!

She's his yellow brick road
Leading him on and letting him go
as far as she'll let him go
Going down to nowhere

She puts on her make-up
the same way she did
yesterday hoping everythings the same
But everything has changed

In my mind
Everything we did was right
Open your eyes i'll still be by your side
How could i ever have been so blind
You give me something to sleep to at night...

I'm listening to this song right now..and i understand it differently now. You know how you relate to a song from a particular view..and then someone else listening to the song and they have a completely different understanding of the song.
I like that. That;s why music is universal.

BYE kids

*muah*

MOOd: GREAT!
Listen: DE NADA - lOVE yOU aNYwAY & SOUL SOUND BY DA SUGABABES

NEW YEAR'S EVE! woohooooooooo!!
i'M GOINg to rach's..should be good....I got my champang...itz from last year..when i turned 16 my dad gave it to me. It's probably not really good stuff...but this is a worthy occasion to finally break out the bubbly.

"I'm a punk rock pop queen!
Brown paper magazine
Hotter than you've ever seen
everywhere and inbetween

I'm a ten ticket thrill ride
don't you wanna come inside
a five star triple threat
hardest of the hard to get
No one's little red corvette
ain't seen nothing like me yet

It took six whole hours
and five long days
for all your lies to come undone
and those three small words were way too late
cos you can't see that i'm the one!!!!"

- josie and the pussycats "Three small words"

sorry..itz playing on my mp3s..i couldn't help myself :)

i just can't be stuffed writing anymore after this...LOL..i'm in a singing mood now!

cya!

Ok....ya know..i've been in a pretty good mood lately since christmas.
And now some idiot has just blown it by writing something so evil in my guestbook. And you can all guess who this demon from hell is...Yes it is THE Tom Anderson.

You will pay for your crimes.

Now i'm not even gonna mention the "pop act" cos i am against all and everything they promote - which is bad hair, bad music and they copied n'sync! Nice try guys...but u really fucked up there. N'sync has FIVE dudes in the group...not four poncy lil choir boys.
And come on..Joey from n'sync is much taller and has cooler hair than that lil guy from "HN" (*note - i didn't say the name of the band...i just used the intitals*)
And many people know of my hateful dislike of this australian pop act. Notice how i said "POP ACT" meaning..they are just another worthless wanna be boy band..and like so many others they will just fade away.

Fuck...tom u really know how to piss me off. Kudos to you.

Ok b4 i say anything else..and make more a dick head of myself online...i'm going.

*muah* --*eves*

(ha! - I called Tom an idiot and a demon from hell! Score!! )

(hehe--Oh and i saw lord of the rings yesterday...and if u wanna know the ending..just find a copy of the first book..and flip to the end. No point actually reading it all when u can watch it on the big screen!)

I have a confession to make....I didn't go to the interview.
I won't go into details...because it was such a risky decision to make...i had like 30 seconds and i just though "Fuck it."
So I did. Well...I didn't fuck it...not litterally...I just decided not to go, so i walked out of the building and hopped on a tram to Balwyn to go to work.
So now that i have my results(i'm not telling :P) I now have to wait for those damn uni's to make up their minds and send me a yes letter.

I was at a party last nite. Phil's 18th. It was very cool. Evelyn was very tipsy. Not drunk, tipsy.

i wonder....do any of u people reading this mind clicking on a link for me and joining some lil club....you don't have to actually do anything...just join it For Me.

Click Here

thanks! *muah********

*Cough*
Rmit interview tomorrow..i'm scared shitless. One hour long...i don't know how i'm gonna get thru it.
Thank god for walkman's *smiles*
Listen: J.lo - murder remix of I'm real..Nivea- Runaway & Britney Spear's Overprotected
Mood : Undecided..if u didn't know

Why doesn't anyone update their webpages these days? Itz kinda...unfair to users. And to the people who like to surf the net and check the same webpages daily. I know i do that...i like..go to the same ones...every time on the net. And normally...one of those sites are updated. But to me it seems that no one can be stuffed to put the effort in, the internet has become a chore. It's not longer fun, some people think of updating as annoying and time consuming. Well it is..that's why my site is so...empty. But i like my blog :)

And some sites keep disappearing...like...runawaytrain.net - that like...disappeared..that or my server is a bitch.
But the thing is...sites are a pain in the ass to update..but for your daily vistor's itz great. So think about other people...who depend and rely on ur webpage - not just ur own silli reasons and excuses..Because ..there is no excuse for not up dating. Unless you were out of the country. That old excuse "I was busy at school" won't fly wit me. Cos i did all my updating..at school. so. :P
but i guess that's just the joys of having ur own laptop computer...which i actually don't have anymore...But i do have pictures :)

Monday was an interesting day. I was..still sick. So i was taking Monday off...and starting work on Tuesday.
I'm working wit lisa at her mum's store in balwyn. Dare u you to come visit. muahaha :)
So on monday morning...like 6-6:30 my own mother comes yelling -"OMG YOU SAT ON YOUR PLATE"
what she means is...my othordontic plate...cos u know..perfect teeth like mine come at a price, So i got up and we found bits of it on the ground and on the couch. I was like "Shit..i didn't break it." Then it occured to me..that i had left my plate on the coffee table (hygenic i know..:P) and my dog was inside and she came up to me, then i realised my dog had found my plate and tried to bite it.
So that is why...it was in bits.

So i called the ortho at 12...then realised i had to get a bus at 12:27 to ringwood so i could get a train to Glenferrie by 1:50.
I got to the ortho right on time...and i had to get another mold of my teeth..which was..disgusting.
But the annoying thing was that i had to wait TWO hours b4 i could go and...get my plate fitted. So i was at ally tunes..brought some singles...Fiona Apple's criminal...which was a buck..fucking good buy considering it is a rare single now.
And got me Lucy Pearl's Dance tonite single...which is a great track to groove to. Very cool.
I ended up going to the city...walked around, window shopped. Looked at alot of cd's. HMV is my fave store for wasting time in. You can spend like an hour in there..looking at stuff.
I brought the Janet jackson son of a gun single...but i'm thinking maybe i should have brought one of the other cds i had my..eye on.
I got back to kew...got my plate..then i quickly jumped on a tram got to the station...waited for a train..got the train...arrived at ringwood and then waited for a bus that would take me all the way home to warrandyte.

It was a long and tiring day.

I bored u all..BUt i dun care :P

hehe..
i am still sick.
more of a cough now.
I shall survive though.
But i missed out on the antioch weekend.
So i'm kinda pissed off.
But i'll get over it.
Meanwhile...i have been very bored lately.
My days have consisted of internet shit, and watching tv.
BUT the beatles special on rage was good..until i realised..i should have programed my vcr to tape an extra hour longer.
And on SBS last nite, Cannibal the musical was entertaining..so entertaining that i fell asleep...unintentionally of course.

anyhoo...see you kids later *muah*

Mood: Sick - but i'm not feeling that bad...kinda in a good mood though.
Listen: Janet Jackson.Feat Missy E & Carly Simon - Son of a Gun & NOVA 100 radio - cos itz fucking cool.
Read: House Atreides - one of the dune books....and a magazine.called Vibe - with Aaliyah on the cover...brought back memories.
Watch: Dark Angel - damn good series..and i can't wait till the final episode where they take down manticore! AND SPICE - the spice girl home video Volume 1. hey...i was bored!

I do have a sore throat..it was pretty bad the last few days, but itz better now. BUt i can't go on the antioch weekend...cos i'm still not feeling 100%...i'm more like 60% better..and that's still not good enough. I bet i'll have a cold by tomorrow...but who knows...but my voice has gone all crappy and i can't sing - so i'm just resting it.
The past two weeks has kinda been..crapola..cos i have been sick. So i'm hoping i get over it all now..so later on i won't be sick.
Well..i guess that's just wishful thinking.

I was listening to the Ataris CD yesterday...the new one...end is forever. Not bad at all..i do like the ataris, but they seem to write alot of songs about chicks. Or as my brother put it to me...Fat boy band singing about chicks.
The music is very emo...but ya know..itz good..and the songs are...cute.lol. i know..sounds funny for a band like the ataris..but some of the songs are very cute..But I do like the song I.O.U one galaxy...lol.

I'm trying to think of more to write....the only thing i can think of right now is how damn hungry i feel...but i can't be..cos i just had lunch like 30 mins ago.....
I like that remix of "I'm real" by J.lo...itz very cool..worth a download. And itz playing on my mp3 now...and a good new band is 'The Calling' download the song "Where ever you will go" ..and "Adrienne" cos itz got a nice sound.

And make sure all melbourne kids listen to Nova 100 cos that damn radio station plays some good shit....lots of rock and good tunes...actually they play alot of commericial dance/trance stuff...i've heard them play Sash a few times...and kudos to them for playing Smashing pumkins...

ok..i'm going now.

I have see Harry Potter twice. I think my eyes are fucked.
I saw it last nite at the 9 pm session at Doncaster...yay...and i saw it this afternoon...with rach and lisa. I don't want to see it again. Not that it was bad or anything, but cos...i'm not one to see a movie...twice at the cinemas..i think the only other movies i've seen twice at the cinemas were Toy story - and Austin Powers Spy who shagged me - But when i saw them the second time..i didn't go the fricken next day again..i kinda...went weeks after i had seen em the first time.

I am so tired...but i can't sleep. at all. I have lines under my eyes...FRICKEN LINES! i'm getting old....old age is catching up with me. i mean..i'll be 18 next year...damn that's scary. I don't wanna think about it just yet.
This week has just been crap. I've been sick...then i got a lil cold. and i can't sing...cos when i do..i sound off. lol..or like i'm singing thru my nose..and that's just nasty.

I AM PISSED OFF THOUGH. and if u didn't want to know why...i'm gonna tell u anyway.
Friends are everything. Everything! and some ppl abuse that, alot. They forget people who have always been there, will always be there no matter. They forget that people do care about them, that there is always some one who is worried for them. There will always be a friend to sympathise with you, always a friend who will hug u or stay up late talking on the phone with you if your sad or just want to talk.
I hate the people who think that no one gives a fuck about them. People who seek attention, by hurting them selves, because they think their screwed up in the head. Some people are honestly depressed though, others just do it for the attention. And it's those that i find hard to understand.
oK I DUNNO..but i might sound kinda bitchy here, i mean people are honestly depressed...ok...but those who do it for attention, make them selves depressed. I believe that everyone has problems. We all have issues and we all deal with them differently, i guess itz my opinion, i just don't like the way in which some people deal with their problems.
It's not good to screw with someone else's head just cos u have some fucking problem, cos you'll bring them down with you. Or use people because you want the attention.
I remember when i was in grade...six or five...i can't remember...it was primary school years...anyway...and i was accused of using someone. The Fact of the matter was i got used in some stoopid way and the chick who accused me just manipulated the story in her favour. It was so stoopid and childish, because all this girl wanted in the end was the attention of my best friend at the time..because she felt that i was taking her away from her. I won't go into the details cos their a little hazy, despite the fact i can still remember what i was wearing that day...ick. LOL...i can remember what i was wearing but i can't remember the rest of the details. Good one eve ;)
Ok..so this lil story maybe had no refernce to what i was talking about..but there is the beginning proof - Someone using someone else to get attention. In my case it was the attention of another person, but still the principal of it is there.

Did anyone understand that..or did i just waste my time?

I'M IN! JMC ACCEPTED ME! SOOOOOOO...i will be offered a place in the first round offers!
The letter said that i met the pre-selection requirements and itz allllllllll gooooood now.
Ya know...if i can meet JMC's standards...NMIT obviously has issues...I mean itz the same fucking course but different providers.
*NMIT! SUCK SHIT!*

woohoo..

ok..at least i can get some joy this week....I am sick as a dog. I have a head ache...i have a cold..i was sick earlier this week..and i'm still feeling grogy and crappy.. *Sympathy plz*

anyway..i'm going... *cyas*

I got nuthing to say...