ON the 7th of March was the day my dog died. Thinking about it now - it was so surreal then. We made a decision which ended the life of our beloved pet. Everytime I look outside I keep thinking she'll be there...but she's not. When I walked up the steps to the house, I waited to hear her barking at me - but i heard nothing. I saw the back gate wide open and the first thought that jumped into my head was "She'll escape!" then I remembered that it didn't matter anymore. Its starting to sink in now...I'm waiting for it to get easier. I have to remind myself that it was our decision - and we have to live with it. But I don't want to...I just wish it was all so different. It could have turned out better for her.

I try to keep myself busy...but its hard. I'm reminded of it all the time - especially when i'm at home. Its all my mum talks about to me - its like she's trying to justify her decision to her self and to me...She had second thoughts, but its too late now. There was never a guarantee that it would work out..when so many things went wrong. She was only 7 years old. I'm making it worse for myself now by writing here. But the thing I have to understand is why. Why her? why did she have all the problems? But there are no answers, only theories and assumptions. One thing everyone keeps thinking is 'This shouldn't have happened'. Maybe I'd be better off now if i didn't watch...if i had missed the whole event like my sister did - "Where's Briggetta?" she said as the vet drove down our drive way with our dog lying in the trunk of his car. "Where do you think?" I spat at her through my tears - "She's gone". I was pissed. It was an important thing and she wasn't there to say goodbye. But aubrey doesn't reall care about the pets that much...she does, but only when it suits her. But that's how she is. Its better though I must admit...talking to people about this. Lisa and Tremain have been a big help to me through this...they both listened to my sobbing over the phone..they didn't have to, but they did. And James has been understanding...he let me skip bandpractise (not like i need his permission). And that shot of makers mark that i had...helped in a weird burning/warm way. I feel like calling one of them now...like...hearing someone else's voice will calm me...comfort i guess is what i'm looking for.

Anyway. I just got a call from mark S...me, lis and him are going to see a movieeee....my headache is almost gone...and i've just cried..Again. great...now i'm gonna have a red face. I'd better pretty myself up now.

I don't think I can sleep tonight. I don't know if I want to - especially if it means that I have to wake up tomorrow knowing that Briggetta is not there. I sit wondering if what we did was right? If it was so humane then why do I feel so bad? Why do I feel guilty for it?
I felt like maybe we could have given her more time - but she had so much time and it was breaking us all to see her like that. Telling myself that it was the right thing to do - that maybe we could have stopped it, that we could still have her. And now I sit here wishing it could all be different - wishing that I didn't have to watch her fall into her forced sleep. I can cry all I want, but it won't change things. I can wish all I want, but whats done is done. We can't go back and change things, and now we've lost something close to us and it just feels empty and wrong without her.



"Little angel you gotta learn to fly, get up, earn your wings tonight -


Little angel just look in my eyes, get up and earn your wings tonight..."

Utada Hikaru - Kremlin Dusk

All along I was searching for my lenore
In the words of Mr Edgar Allan Poe
Now I'm sober and nevermore
Will the raven come to bother me at home
Calling you
Calling you home
You
Calling you
Calling you home

By the door you said you had to go
Couldn't help me any anymore
This I saw coming long before
So I kept on staring out the window
Calling you,
Calling you home...
You,
Calling you,
Calling you home...

I am a natural entertainer
Aren't we all holding pieces of dying ember?
I'm just trying to remember who I can call,
Who can I call?
Home,
Calling you,
Calling you...

I brought a secret propoganda
Aren't we all hiding pieces of broken ember?
I'm just trying to remember who I can call,
Who can I call?

Born in a world of opposite attraction
Is it or is it a natural deflection?
Torn by the arms in opposite directions
And is it or is it a modern mis- reaction?

Born in a world of opposite attraction
Is it or is it a natural deflection?
Torn by the arms in opposite directions
And is it or is it a modern mis- reaction?

Is it like this?
(Born in a world of opposite attraction)
Is it always the same?
When a heartache begins,
(Torn by the arms in opposite directions)
Is it like this?

Do you like this?
(Born in a world of opposite attraction)
Is it always the same?
Will you come back again?
(Torn by the arms in opposite directions)
Do you like this?

Is it always the same?
And will you come back again?
Do you like this?
Oh, do you like this?

Is it like this?
(Born in a world of opposite attraction)
Is it always the same?
(Is it or is it a natural deflection?)
(Torn by the arms in opposite directions)
If he changes my number,
(And is it or is it a modern mis- reaction?)
Will you tell me?

Is it like this?
Is it always the same?
When a heartache begins,
Is it like this?

If you like this,
Will you remember my name?
Will you come play it again,
If you like this?
Oh, do you like this?

I wanna take you up to my room - but you always have to be too soon:
travelling - utada hikaru
ska sucks - Propagandhi
across 110th street - Bobby Womack
long time woman - Pam Grier




I'm not in a good mood anymore. Maybe cos i'm tired...and pissed off with certain people. I shouldn't go out tonite - i should stay home and sleep. cos thats what i want to do right now, sleep for a very very long time.
I purchased a copy of Final Fantasy 9 today...it was at eb doncaster..and i swear that game was waiting for me. I was on the other side of the store and i just so happened to look up at the PS1 games and there it was...I rushed over to it and grabbed it off the shelf and i bought it there and then. Brand new, 49.95. i've been wanting that game for ages and everytime i seem to get close to it - it disappears. poof! and now..poof! it was there. so now im broke again..cos by the time i pay my phone bill there will be nothing left of my bank account....yay.


well im gonna go bitch some more about my brother to other people now...
cya

I think i shall survive this year afterall ;)

I had second thoughts yesterday. I was sitting in the tiny radio studio at Swinburn with 13 others and I thought to myself "What am I doing here? Why was I chosen out of so many others to be in this course?"

Honestly I don't need to do this commerical radio course - I could just find a job else where doing something - I have one BA under my belt, why do I need to do complete another course and throw myself into the deep end once again. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't want to do this course - I do. I'm excited about learning more stuff - but I'm scared about being on my own again at uni and being friendless. My first year of uni wasn't spent alone, but I had a hard time coping without those who were closest to me. I know that if Jon hadn't been so nice to me I probably wouldn't have made it out of first year alive. And now i'm at a new uni and I don't know anyone and yeah I'm scared. I'm starting all over again and it's going to be hard. I'm out of my depth too - almost everyone else in the course has had way more experience than me...I mean what do I know? nothing compared to them right? BUt i'm here to learn..and get a job which is why normal people go to university.


But I'm not normal.


In fact I'm not sure if I can be classified as anything other than human. Even that word betrays our imperfections. To err is to be human or something like that right?
Well i have my second class tonight at 6pm till 9! how crazy is that! I've never had night classes before. woot anyway it should be fun squishing into the radio studio again...hmm that's where i'll be for a whole year...oh goody. good thing i don't mind small spaces.

And I think I'm starting to scare myself:
frontin' - Pharrell
damaged - TLC
right side of the bed - Atreyu
Ohio is for lovers - Hawthorn Heights
drug like - Action Action

I just found out the news about Naruto - it's been Licenced over seas, which is bad news for the fansubber addicts like me - but this news can be taken either way. Its good and band. BAD because many bit torrents will stop supplying it and it won't be subbed by as many groups now. BUt its good because it means naruto will be on TV! but bad cos it'll be in english. BUt maybe now some of the video games will come out and stuff...but it'll be in english..and terribly dubbed. Okay i'm sure VIZ and ShoPro will take good care of the series, but the series will probably get hacked up so that annoying lil brats can watch it on their morning tv shows...bloody american television - they need to learn that animation is not just for kids anymore...but i think their slowly learning that. There have been some bad mistakes made to some great anime series - lets just hope Naruto doesn't lose its orginality or it insane coolness and japaneseness - i wouldn't want this awesome anime to get lost in the translation.

BUt for now i think i'll download episode 122 and read more:
anime news network
anime suki forum


I am lonely for tonight, baby come on and hold me tight:
Colours - utada hikaru
kelly clarkson (now i think of it, its kinda a hick name) - since you've been gone
lil birdy - tonights the night
AND that new basement jaxx song...can't remember whats it called.

all i know is what i'm missing...what i'm missing is your kissing ARE YOU LISTENING?:
michelle branch - hotel paper
nelly - flap your wings
britney speeears - do sumthin'
basement jaxx - romeo
utada - tippy toe & kremlin dusk (edgar allen poe anyone?)


I've had one weird and exciting day overall. My morning started like any other - i woke up at 6.30 am and rolled over back to sleep ignoring my alarm 3 times b4 i finally forced myself out of bed - to then only walk out of my room and collapse on the couch. at 9.30 Cid came and we drove to the vic roads for my P's driving test. At first he was like - yeah your gonna pass and i was like nah uh. BUT you know what i should believe in my self alittle more because strange things do happen to a girl like me. Well i was fine b4 my test and at the start - but during the test about half way i began to lose it. I made a few mistakes while nearing the end of my route but i made it back without any instant fails or anything. I got more nervous as the test went on, and in fact the car heated up quite a bit so by the time we got to vic roads again i was like sweating and concentrating and it was scary cos i was positive i had failed after that. THEN as we were waiting inside they called me over and told me that i had PASSED! i was like, "uh could you repeat that"...not quite believing it myself i needed to hear it again. So that was it i got my photo I.D - which i must say is an improvement on my last licence but i look very scruffy in it haha. lol. BUt its over now and i'm relieved almost - i'm not quite here though, it feels surreal because i've wanted this for awhile and i finally went out and did it and passed first time so no more driving lessons - so that means no more cid - he was cool. he bought me food :)
I'm alittle freaked by the idea of driving by myself now, cos its gonna happen but but once i get over those first nerves im sure i'll be okay. BUT i can't wait to get in the car and go zoom zoom on the freeway while listening to a crazy CD - yeah i'd in one of those cars that go doof doof with the loud music,..mauahaha i can't wait.

I really want to update this blog. I want a new layout design for it and newpics and graphics and stuff. I want it to look pretty and more of a representation of my self and this blog. Cos right now while it looks aiight its not quite me 24/7. Don't get me wrong, i go for that angsty blackness and gritty graphics as much as the next angst ridden blog writer - BUT i want some colour! lol. but i have no skill in the blog skin making department so if anyone would like to volunteer their services...lol haha...other wise i'll keep scouring blog skins for something cool.

Anyway. I had the best day out on monday. I went to the city with lisa and we met up with Michelle and we went straight to Max Brenner - which is this cafe at QV - or as everyone seems to call it "The chocolate place" and i must say i was impressed. No actually, i was in love with the place. If i had had more cash on me I would have stayed there all day long eating chocolate covered things, chocolate melting things and drinking their hot chocolates. never mind that the weather was like 30+ degrees lol..too hot for such warm foods, but it was deliciously mind-blowing. SO after this we had to walk off the chocolate and what better way to do it than around in melb central chasing bubbles and shopping! lol..we walked down to like feb square also to look at the art galleries which were awesome. I got some hellow kitty underwear..woot -its an odd feeling when you know ur wearing cute underwear. Its kinda like you know its cute...but no one else knows. ALSO i purchased a new top from dangerfield and its HOT so watch out..cos i'll blind you all with my hotness when i wear it out...yeah damn straight i will.
SO after browsing the art galleries we went off in search of cheap noodles and found a vietnamese place on swanston so we got noodles and soup. After that i can't really remember what we did but we stuck around for awhile and looked at different stores and eventually made our way back to melb central.

It was a GREAT day overall. and I'm glad i went out and spent the last of my cash....now i'm broke and i didn;t get as much as i thought i would in my last pay. So i'm gonna cut my spending...although i did buy the new love hina manga - i haven't bought a dvd since...three weeks ago..so i'm okay on that front...i have enough anime to last me forever...UTENA is great btw...awesome anime, i'm glad i finally get to watch it.

here are some chords, now start a band:

midnight star - midas touch
taking back sunday - the union

JAMES IS A MUTHFUCKER! AND DESERVES TO HAVE HIS BALLS LICKED BY CAMEL IN AN OVERCOAT.

losing the battle


Well i'm back here again on a boring sunday night. Last nite was interesting forawhile...then it got weird and i hated to rest of the nite. I was so tired i slept all the way home, it was good of carlos to give me a lift home...i owe him one - even though i get the feeling he will probably never take up the offer of a free ride of from me when i get my P's...in fact i think everyone will be alittle scared to sit in a car with me at the wheel ;)

I was sick all this morning - and i'm getting sick of being sick all the time. I think something must be wrong with me because this keeps happening. Im starting to think maybe its genetic - or that i'll have the same problems my mum has been having recently. I took some drugs b4 so hopefully i'll be fine for the rest of the night...my morning was hellish and i won't go into details because it wasn't pretty...actually it was pretty tame considering other times i've been sick...maybe im getting better, but i doubt it.

myer has cut back all my shifts,...but apparently all casuals are getting like one shift a week right now. Apparently this is always a bad month in retail...my last shift was so boring...i couldn't stand it. It was so good to just get out of there and do something that involved not serving testy customers and standing up.

last nite a few of us went to alumbra - which is this cool bar,loungey bbq place out behind the exhibition buidling near crown. its amazing what people can do with a small shed. although i had issues with the bathroom..it was alittle too weird for my liking - i mean mirrors go near the sink not in the fricken cubicals...common fucking sense was lacking in that design.

anyway....i've been trying to re-write some song lyrics and work out backing vocals for some songs with da band...i think the boys are gonna sick of me - for the last three weeks now james has put a microphone in front of me and i haven't sung a fricken line of backing vocals for them. lol..their gonna lose their patience with me i think haha. nah it'll all work out eventually...eventually...im working on it.

*sigh*
i think im gonna finish this up and watch a bad 80's movie...anime wise - i have new naruto eps and episode one of bleach now....interesting stuff it all ez.

Forget what you know:
kelly clarkson - since you've been gone
utada hikaru - first love (bohemian summer concert)
jay-z linkin park - encore/numb
beastie boys - sabotage

THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHOM HAS EVER BEEN FUCKED AROUND BY THE NATIONAL BUS CO.

I AM SICK of this. it is not summer timetable anymore - SO WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BUS!
YEAH okay so i don't have my p's yet - and even when i get my p's i won't have my own car so i'll still be forced to take melbourne's shitty excuse for public transport every day to uni and work. ANd while im thinking of making a complaint - i have made a few in the past - this time i really can't be bothered. HONESTLY. they should get their friggen act together.
anyway. i have to go and be driven to work now. THANKS FOR FUCKING NOTHING YOU STUPID FUCKING NATIONAL BUS FUCK COMPANY FUCKERS!

Stem - Shiina Ringo

There's a door here, but it will not break

There's a stone there, but it won't remain

Up there a heaven now, but it will not wait

And the lies there, the scent of it, just too much

So should you,Sow it once and make it grow, the sweet clematis

Let it flower, and paint it all of the colors bold

Instantly things fall and fade, return to silence

Why oh why, why does it all feel so sorrowful?

Dreams of what is real

There's a breath here, but it will not break

There's a face there, but it won't remain

Up there a heaven now, but it knows no name

And the stain is the color of red through red

And thus,

You cannot cry, confuse the lies, try to remember

When you rise, you take your steps with a strong desire

Time goes by, a breath it comes, like something given

Why oh why, why have these nightmares not long expired

The real is but a dream

From now on,

Should it grow and open full, the sweet clematis

Flower bold, but there's no need for rejoicing more

Precious life, this life, just once, it comes just one time

Keep it close, keep it from ever just leaving you

Crying tears confusing fears they are no longer

When I stand I know I'll never be down again

Nothing that I need now, once it comes just one time

Somehow, somehow, someone, ah

Entry Number One

I was just reading a fan fic and I've had this feeling all though it - something wasn't meshing for me. It wasn't as enjoyable to read a second time (rewritten) round and then a thought just hit me. It's not real. None of it makes sense nor do i find it believable at all. For the simple fact that this fan fic took real people and threw them into a fictional situation involving other fictional characters to work off. And it just doesn't work for me anymore. The characters are annoying now. Fan fiction is a weird thing...and it can be good or bad. And i've read alot of good - stuff that I can relate to, and right now its just unbelieveable and unrealistic. When it comes down to it, fan fics are just written by girls who idolise or want to sleep with famous rockstars or characters in a show. Im sure there is already O.C fan fiction out there about Seth and Ryan getting with the "female cast" but really its just the authors putting themselves in the lead roles. And reading about Zac Hanson - someone else's version of him - its kinda weird. I mean I've never met the guy, I'm sure he's nice...and nothing like the million different Zac's I've read about. Which is the annoying thing about fan fics - they perpetuate a myth about famous people...its all lies..and we'll never know what these people are really like in real life until we meet them. I've been over this so many times - But i'm not over it. I am in the sense i no longer have unrealistic expectation myself - but when will there be a time when we just leave it alone? i guess im experiencing what so many other extinct fan fic site authors went through awhile back...when it no longer feels right reading/making up stories about REAL people's lives.

anyway, thats all i wanted to say.

I went to doncaster and boxhill yesterday with Tristan. We had lucky cup and walked round to all the anime stores....so that was nice until we got bored and started walking around mindlessly in target and centro. i purchased the love hina vol 3. manga and ghost in the shell: innocence dvd...woot. the day before yesterday i bought a sponge bob dvd with TEN episodes on it...woot. I should stop spending money though, i spent 250 dollars on biotherm products last week, and 170 on paying off laybys and buying the DEAD LEAVES & Sanjuro dvds. also i bought some levis for 100 on sale...and i got a 60 buck jacket from supre - i only bought the jacket so i could put this reallly nice pin on it that i got from toxic. So I'm wasting my money basically on just stuff....and its annoying me. Don't get me wrong, i love the stuff i bought, but i keep saying that i'm gonna save up and as yet i haven't saved a cent.

I need to fill out my swinburne form and send it out this week cos its due by the 10th and already its the 5th today...so i'd better hurry up otherwise i'll miss out and be a bum for the next year.

I saw the incredibles last nite. I liked it alot. I think Pixar did really well with the action family adventure thing. And the animation was AMMMMMAAAZing. go see it.

anyway i'm off to watch ep 115 of naruto - *muah* keep cool.

playing with the new ipod right now...putting on some actual good music...my sister is driving me crazy. She's become the bedroom nazi and the ipod nazi....i swear i was so close to slapping her. anyway i think i mite go shopping for some bed sheets...i feel like something black and red...no more of this pink room therfore pink bed crap. Christmas sucked, except when i saw lisa and watched house of flying daggers with her...the movie rocked my socks off...andy lau and the hot guy from chungking and fallen angels was in it..so was the chick from crouching tiger with that name i can't pronounce. it was cool go see it.

I love my taking back sunday cd...its awwwesome. i'm listening to "number five with a bullet" right now. its cool. can't wait till i get paid...im going shopping for some new stuff...biotherm products are ammmmaazing. and i've found some cool basic tees and singlet tops from giordano really cheap..so im gonna go there and get some stuffff...woot. and my astroboy delux box set...wooooooot...hmm and i need some popcorn to pop in my all new totallly awwwesome popcorn maker complete with those crazy popcorn boxes you get at the cinema...woot.

It's that time of year again...and if i hear one more christmas song i'm going to scream.

Seriously, I am OVER it. I'm not over the presents giving and buying part - But I'm over stupid customers, bitchy customers, and the crap myer forces us low level sales assistants to listen to for 9 hours straight. Nothing turns you off a holiday quicker than working in retail or listening to crap christmas songs which are lyrically retarded and go something like this "I'M GEETTING NOTHING FOR CHRISTMAAASSS"....ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!*SQUEALS at the end of the argh* my ears.....anyway..im working 12am(midnight tonite) till 8am friday morning....I had such a hard time explaining that to my parents, they kept getting it all the times and dates mixed up...grrr... so im trying to get some rest now because otherwise i'll just fall asleep on my feet. Like who the hell is going to come shopping after 2am at myer? And the rest of the center isn't even open except for myer so whats the point? I know if i was still doing chrissy shopping i'd rather go to highpoint or chaddy for the 24hour shopping in the whole center not just crappy myer. not that myer is crappy - no only the eastland myer is crap. lol ;)

well i gotta meet up with lisa some time tomorrow hopefully and write up our fancy chrissy cards - yes we have expensive taste...but i'd rather send out nice chrissy cards than crap 79 cent ones that all look the same. anyway i gotta get some more sleep b4 tonite...stay cool kids.

listen to me:
Shiina Ringo - Kuki
usher - if i want to

watch me:
oprah's favourite things
willow
freaky friday (lindsay kicks Hilary's ass)

listen:
the avalanches - frontier psychiatrist
ollie and jerry - there's no stopping us
the chemical brothers - come with us (you must only listen to this song with ur speakers turned up to 11 - or 10 if they don't go that far)

Well i have some news for this week. And i thank my lucky stars (and god) for this one. I got into the Swinburne course! woot! i'm doing commercial radio next year! woot! i'm so excited and scared and shocked and amazed and I don't know what it was that they liked about me, but i am so grateful and thankful that I'm not going to be spending next year doing nothing. So thats one good thing about next year, its gonna be alot of work though. And alot different from doing my usual cut and paste radio. So i have alot of learning to do, but i'm gonna just throw myself into the deep end on this one and hopefully come up a stronger more mature and knowledgeable individual.

Oh well I can dream.

I have had the strangest 24 hours. I have had enough of these strange emotional ups and downs i've been having. While sober i seem fine and happy, then I get drunk and stay very high and fairly happy and then when i finally come down I'm so low that i've sunk to the deepest depths of the depression end of my emotional scale. And somehow when i woke up this morning my low was still with me. i've spent most of today as a sleepless zombie, (do zombies sleep? they are the waking dead after all) and i've been numb of anything emotionally stable and good. Even a work associate of mine (whom i don't work with that often) noticed a change in my demeanor. I wasn't rude...execpt when i knocked back the short bread biscuits that nadia made - but honestly I didn't want to work today. When i got into Miss shop this arvo i realised how stupid my day was going to be with nothing to do and no one decent to chat with (despite there being 7 girls working in that dept today). I was happy to be moved into christmas trimm dept, even though i had no idea about anything. Customers would ask me questions about the trees on display or about the crazy electrical singing santas and i would stare at them jaw open with a "oh fuck" look on my face...lol. I must admit though, speed wrapping is not my thing. even if its only tissue paper wrapping. And also i'll admit that i miss my personal care department. Yes it has its moments where it is boring and horrible, but i'd rather be there and comfortable than thrown into the deep ends into a busy department where i know nothing.

yeah anyway enough talk about work, its driving me crazy.

hyde - masquerade
dashboard confessional - screaming infidelities & For You to Notice(my anthem for the day)

Distance - Utada Hikaru (remix version)

Ki ni naru noni kikenai
Oyogitsukarete kimi made mukuchi ni naru

Aetai noni ienai nami ni osarete
Mata sukoshi tooku naru

Tokirenai you ni keep it going baby
Onaji kimochi janai nara tell me
Muri wa shinai shuugi demo
Sukoshi nara shite mite mo ii yo

I wanna be with you now
Futari de distance shijimete
Ima nara maniau kara
We can start over
Hitotsu ni wa narenai
Itsu no hi ka distance mo
Dakishimerareru you ni nareru yo
We can start sooner
Yappari I wanna be with you

Hito koto de konna ni mo kizutsuku kimi wa
Kodoku wo oshiete kureru

Mamorenai toki keep on trying, baby
Yakusoku toori janai kedo trust me
Muri wa shinai shuugi demo
Kimi to nara shite mite mo ii yo

I wanna be with you now
Futari de distance mitsumete
Ima nara maniau kara
We can start over
Kotoba de tsutaetai
I wanna be with you now
Sono uchi ni distance mo
Dakishimerareru you ni nareru yo
We should stay together
Yappari I wanna be with you

I wanna be with you now
Coz I know this can't be forever
We can start over, just you and me
I wanna be with you now
Coz I know this can't be forever
We should stay together, just you and me
I wanna be with you

-- This song just reflects my mood for today - so if you knew this song and what it sounds like, you'd know I'm very happy right now. Isn't happy such a strange word, its a very childish word to me. Yet its the only word i can think of that would perfectly describe my mood...hmm.

i've changed my tune about adsl - and while i'm not about to have one of those moments where i'll say i'd fuck the guy who invented it (past examples - the guy who invented napster or icq) but I will say FUCK I thank my lucky stars because those two episodes of naruto i have downloaded have been FUCKING AWESOME. now i bet your thinking, how many more times can evelyn slip the word FUCK into a sentence or paragraph. and you'll be pleasntly surprised when i don't finish this sentence with the F-word. lol..well almost (you'll be more surprised when the day comes that i decide to fucking proof read my blogs and get rid of all this bad speeling and crazy un-needed punctuation and grammaraaar. But it is not in my nature to proof read).

listen:
spinal tap - give me some money
utada hikaru - in my room
henry rollins - A rollins in the wry
Deepdish - flashdance (because i heard it exactly 5 times on the radio yesterday)

watch:
mean girls (cos their so meaaaaaan)
little Britain - I'm a LAAAADY! "you there, do you think i'm a laaaady?"
Naruto - ep 112 (chouji and his fat rolling jutsu)
the goodies - Kitty Kong ep.

I'm in one of those moods...i want to write something here but nothing i can think of really appeals to me. I've realised that ADSL isn't all that great because telstra sucks balls....literally honestly its been such a pain in the ass trying to just access some sites here. while the downloading of songs is usually fast - its not cool when stupid kazaa users decided they won't share their mp3s with my lovely speedy internet. hmm.

Right now. just then i had a craving for macca's fries. that really cannot be a good thing.

I think I'm becoming obsessed with lip gloss. Don't ask me why, but since trying the new rimmel jelly gloss...i think i'm hooked. meanwhile my new sugarbaby lip laquer is fantassstic - yet nothing seems to be as nice as the rimmel stuff right now.....i'll have to actually buy some gloss instead of just using the testers at work...haha. Honestly testers for lipsticks and such just become really eww and grotty after awhile. And to think ppl steal them, Eww...I wouldn't be able to live with myself if i did that, i'd just keep thinking about how many other ppl's lips have been all over that stick of lippy....eww....all the germs! testers are really not the most hygenic things to ever be thought of by cosmetic companies.
anyway...

oh goody - im now working saturday 2-7pm....damn christmas trading hours...looks like getting to james's 21st will be alot more difficult than at first thought....grr.

musiqueeee:
jojo feat bow bow - Its you

I was right. nothing happened. my night ended in a [G] rated way.

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20

Sun December 5, 2004
The level of sexual chemistry flowing between you and you-know-who is so powerful right now that you almost feel you could reach out and touch it. This could lead to some X-rated scenes but there's also a chance that it could go another way and provoke a combustible atmosphere. So do your best to steer the situation in whichever direction you want it to take.

Your lucky numbers are: 18,22

Your lucky colours are: teal blue,apricot

Sexual chemistry...ooh X-rated scenes... Combustible atmosphere? Bring it on msn astrosurf...Bring it on. but somehow i doubt my day shall end in an x-rated way.

I know I don't know you,
But I want you so Bad
Everyone has a secret -
But can they keep it?
Oh no they can't.

Well my interview went well. Hmm...I'm not expecting too much, but you know I can only hope at this point. I have to make an audition tape - so i'll organise that tomorrow or something, yeah and i have work tomorrow 6-9pm, and Kristie's 21st...woot. it should be good.

I had more to write here...in fact I had a whole post written until blogger decided to not work. Tonite i'm gonna go see team america - i'll post a review about it tomorrow or on the weekend or something. I feel like doing a bit of criticism. hmm...well i've run out of things and people to insult. I think I've exhausted pretty much every topic i can think of...but just wait I'm sure someone will do something stupid tomorrow....ahhh tomorrow is another day....im excited.

songs that made my day:
third eye blind - semi charmed kinda life (i change the lyrics when i sing this so its "he goes down and he goes round for me" and not the other way round ;) hehe)
mylo - drop the pressure
maroon(ed) 5 - Sunday Morning & Secret(see above lyrics)
the chemical brothers - come with us

I love my new Ministry of Sound 2005 Annual - in the words of the teen girl squad "It's sooooooooooo good!"
Nah seriously it is THAT good.

Okay well I've been meaning to post up things about the Hanson gig - except I never bothered to re-write everything I had written about it here...so maybe i'll just leave it. All you need to know is that it was good. Really good. Although I left that night feeling alittle disappointed and and also alittle tipsy. Yes alchol and Hanson does mix. Also I met some really cool fans, and I've never really associated with other fans before but I had a really good time hanging out with them till Lisa arrived and got me more tipsy after the gig at the Gin Palace - a really cool bar/lounge place....the bar tender was hot. Okay so that was the Hanson gig in a nutshell. It was surreal, good, and a nice experience i wouldn't mind repeating next year (if the boys come back with an actual band).

Last Friday night was the alexisonfire gig - they played at the Espy with I killed the prom queen and a whole heap of other bands. i didn't get to the venue till like 10 something, i finished work at like 9pm then once in st. kilda trying to find a park was murder...until we found one literally right next to the espy. It was a good night, i got some tee shirts - and got squished by a crowd while watching alexisonfire - who FUCKING rock. It was one of the most crazy fucking fantastic shows I've ever seen. It was really good and i HONESTLY had fun lol - lisa somehow didn't believe me...lol. anyway.

At the moment I have been working at myer quite a bit. I'm so buggered. Honestly working 9-5.30 is killer - and today 9-1 was just urghhhhhh, yeah no words can describe the pain of it...
So I'm home now and I have some news concerning my up and coming study for next year.
Firstly, I have an interview at Swinburne university tomorrow at 10:15am for the Commerical radio course - so wish me luck. I'm having a hard time actually with the application because it requires me to have 2 referees and I only have one so far, who is only reachable via email...and my other media lecturer well, he only knows that write shit essays (58 for my last essay). So i could use him as my second, but really i'd need to find someone better than him. And its very last minute now. Well I only found out about this interview and the referee thing yesterday. So this is the best i can do. Well i should prepare for it...get out a resume of some sort I guess. hmmm...

i haven't been looking at my emails lately...after that scary one with the dead girl under the bed - and after watching the grudge i think im all freaked out enough...lol. i love the grudge btw, i think im gonna go get a copy of the japanese version...

meanwhile latrobe keep sending me emails about some career thing this week...i think i might be too late to apply for it. Its just gonna tell me how to write an interview and shit...but i already know how to do all that anyway. Im giving my brother tips at the moe on resumes and stuff...he seems to be at a loss cos he's never had a crappy part-time job b4. I might do some research on my own now...because if i don;t get the swinburne course..its very likely that i won't - then im pretty much screwed. And i don't want to spend the rest of my life at Myer - some people have been at myer for like 20 years! and thats too long in my opinion. anyway i'd better get a move on. im gonna visit lisa at her mum's shop at 2pm...muahaha...then maybe i'll go buy some new tops...myer is taking 20% off all the good clothing brands, sale ends today so i'd better be quick....urgggh..and i have that vodaphone bill to pay..super cap my arse...

anyway. cya kiddies. and i hope to see some of u at gracie's going away paaarteeee. it shall rock rock on!

playlist for Ev:
planet funk - the switch
Slightly Stupid - Sweet Honey (from the O.C)
utada hikaru - animato

http://www.livejournal.com/users/april_wednesday/36991.html?view=81791#t81791
-film criticism of the film casshern. lots of pictures to keep u entertained :)


im seeing HANSON tonite. I just thought i'd share my enthusiasm here.........oohhh my oh my...
I've been waiting for this day for years...and right now it all seems alittle surreal. I don't know whats gonna happen tonite..my excitment is slowly building - im in a good mood now...im half way through with my essay..i have work later at 12.30 today...i also got paid today ;) woot
im thinking of buying the ministry of sound annual...and possibly the new azumanga daioh if its out..might get it later this week or something...

The only song i've ever really liked by Madonna is 'Like a Prayer'. Of course over the years the song has lost some of its appeal - But i reeeally like the Rufio cover of it. It renews my love for that song all over again.

The first time I heard that song was on Hey Hey it's Saturday...and i was watching Molly Meldrum do his thing and introduce the song. I remember loving the music video mostly - although i don't really remember much of it now, just a few bits of it. Im sure if i watched it now it wouldn't be the same and would probably be more of a disappointment because it won't live up to my memories of it. Actually I can't figure out why I like that song, maybe it was something about the lyrics or the music (which is pretty daggy now by today's standards) but honestly i couldn't tell you what drew me to that song. I guess its a mystery.

Last night I went to a Formal Dinner with steve at his army barracks. It was a very strange, interesting and even educational experience. It was an ugly building - lots of hall ways and small rooms and the girls bathrooms were tiny! the que for the bathroom during the ten minute break involved every single female who was there that night.

I had no idea what alot of the people were talking about but still i enjoyed the jokes i understood and i like the free alchol except that dry sherrie is ick. The white wine was worse than my usual drink of lambrusca cask wine, the red made me sleepy and the cheesecake was a disappointment. But other than that it was a fairly entertaining night. There were a few weird formalities and odd traditions that these army folks like to do...like clanging on a gong/saucepan when ever someone important enters a room. The standing silently and waiting for someone to yell "THE MESS HAS ASSEMBLED" b4 you can sit down. Also the carrying of the colours - which are flags - was highly amusing. In fact everyone found that amusing and had a hard time containing their laughter b4 we all were seated.

The social aspect of it was really good actually. I met some very cool people - and one guy who goes to latrobe and likes animeee!! woot. in fact he even offered to burn me the entire naruto eps 1-107 for me...wooot he was cool, we had a nice chat about games and anime. I met a girl Emily - she was really cool and she's into performing music and stuff. But my night kinda wound down with a foot massages from steve's friend rob - lol sounds kinky i know - but we both kinda fell asleep on the couch, except we all left rob there cos clearly he wasn't going anywhere. Those army boys have a hell of a day cleaning up now though lol. After all that mess with hellium balloons and chips and crap everywhere lol. It was a good night - an odd night, but good. yeah but i didn't pick up...and i don't know if i'd want to do that again though, maybe - lol i guess it would be less nerve racking a second time round - also being told what to do and expect before hand would have been nice lol. Right now I'm finishing off an essay and i've got band rehersal tonite, if anyone wants to hear the demos drop me a line and i'll burn u a cd or send u the mp3s. aiight?

okay cyaaaaaa kids.

I figured i'd link to the first 5 blogs i find on blogger's little random blog thingy...and this was it!

[ W h E r E i S T h E L o V E ]

http://soujiro18.blogspot.com/

Manic Musings Made by Max

http://hamster-riha.blogspot.com/

IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!!!!!!!!!!

I'd have to say that this is a pretty clear representation of blogs on the internet. teenage girl diaries, and adults with commentaries (which is just another clever way of forcing their right winged opinions onto others) - and interest blogs. which would be the last one...cos i skimmed through it and it was all about sport. In the words of Summer from the O.C "eww" ...

I don't know why I still bother to update this blog. Like so many blogs this one has kinda just existed for the sake of exisiting. It serves no real purpose and some may not even consider it a real blog - even though only a small majority of bloggers are political A-List bloggers - while my weak little chicken of a blog will forever be classified as 'a teenager's diary' blog. One that has no relevance or doesn't serve a greater purpose in perpetuating the weblogger's imagined community. The blogosphere doesn't really have a place for me anymore? well yes and no. But no one really takes an interest. I mean I write here for me, myself and I and occasionally for you(the anonymous reader) and sometimes i write things here for my friends. But no one seems to comment - which isn't wholly unusual for blogs, in fact it might even be a blessing - do i really want to hear what you have to say?

So this blog is really about nothing. Well I guess I can't really say that either - it's about me. It's always been about me more than social or political issues, and more of a running commentary of my life rather than on the world around me, although i will express my opinions here about the shit state of the country, unfairness of whatever is unfair and my own angry opinions about drive-thru at maccas, diva's who suck - and what music you should all be listening to. not that many take my suggestions, lol - i don't blame you, hanson is an acquired taste.
I used to refrain from talking about hanson alot - until recently of course, but i thought it would scare off ppl from this blog. But you know what, i honestly couldn't give a fuck anymore. This space is mine and mine alone. I can do whatever i want here, write whatever i feel like etc. I did have another blog for my more personal comments, but why should i have to hide all that - why should i have to censor myself because of the odd chance that someone i've written about might even bother to read it. so i've almost given up the other blog, although i like the name of it i feel like incorporating it into this one and changing i'm not a chicken to a name most of you will be more familiar with. Not that it will matter - none of my friends read this. So i guess i should feel free to write whatever i like. I'll just keep my more personal and emotional moments to myself then - in my notebook where they belong. So for now, this rant - which was inspired by an article which i can't be bothered linking to because my internet explorer sucks - but look up
blogosphere on google and see what you get.
Meanwhile - maybe i should vacate this space for others...If you think you could do a better job of this blog - leave me a comment and i'll let you write my next one for me.

watch: ashlee simpson fucking up on snl
listen: basement jaxx ...here's the spot...
try: bettino liano jeans

I just found out something cool - so i thought i'd share it with you all.
Most of you should know that right now i'm obsessed with Hong Kong films and i've recently done a thing on Wong Kar-Wai one of the mosssst awesomeee of the hk auteurs. Well it turns out he directed one of the bmw short films "the hire: the follow" but he's just credited as WKW. No wonder I loved that one so much...AND and one of my all time fave music videos was directed by him too! "6 days" by DJ shadow. if you haven't seen it go download it cos it's awesome.

meanwhile can someone send me an addy for that red vs. blue thingy online..and for the g.i joe shorts also..cos i could do with some amusement right about now.

listen:
you're so last summer - taking back sunday
utada hikaru - wait and see
at the drive in - invalid litter dept.

listen:
midtown - like a movie
the starting line - nothing's gonna stop us now
maroon 5 - sunday morning
jay z feat beyonce - bonnie and clyde
and that new song by thirsty merc that i heard on nova on the way home...

do:
make muffins
start a conversation with a stranger
learn to play bass geeeeetar

THE BLOG:

Since starting my job at myer - i think i've been there a month now - i've discovered lots of little cuts all over my hands and arms. Also working in the cosmetics department means that i'll try different lipsticks and moisturisers and products and by the end of the day my hand looks like a 2 year old's finger painting and smells like crap.

I've been blackmailed into leaving the house for a walk with the dog...otherwise my bro won't drive me to lisa's tonite. grrrrr...my feeet hurt. damnit. halloweeeen party toniteee...woot. lily's b'day...woot. cya cool ppl there ;)

I'm doing my Post-Grad application form now for swinburne uni. I found out about some other places recently that have radio courses...so maybe in the future i'll be off to singapore and studying production and radio type stuff.....who knows! i'll go where ever life takes me right now.


We've been having black outs all day long - which is hella fustrating because I have work to do and only now at 3pm has the power come back for good...except the lights have been flashing alittle...and the tv repair guy is coming at 5 - btw did anyone tape the O.C last night?
Because due to a weird freak turn of events i couldn't tape the O.C - nor was i at home to watch it on the cheap 20 buck tv in my parent's room. No last night at 6.30 guess where i was on my way to? I was on my way to MLC - yes the hell hole that i called school for about 6 years of my life. But annoyingly enough we ended up stuck on the freeway in a car that decided to give up the ghost and die on us mid-way. So we didn't get to MLC till alittle after 7 and we had to take a radio - and how delighted they were when the driver turned the volume up for their adolescent ears..I'd slit my wrists than have to sit through their maroon 5 obsession. And to think i was considering going to the concert with them - they'd drive me up the wall.


Okay anyway its all a bit crazy right now, lots of work to do this weekend but hardly any time to do it in. And lily's halloweeen party is on saturday night...muahahaha. Oh i need to buy a b'day card for her. anyway I'm off.

evelyn's top five

listen: Somebody Told Me - THE KILLERS

read: my ffx-2 walk-through

watch: chobits & family guy 'Rhode to Rhode Island'

consume: chocolate chip cookies

try: making a snuff movie - sacrifice your life for cinematic art!

Good Morning

I'm listening to a music never ending,

but baby don't you know i'll never let you down

You've opened me to so many different endings,

but baby I know that you'll always be around

I've succumbed to commericalism. I went out and bought the "shop till you drop" magazine which is full of items, clothes and beauty crap that is way too expensive for the ordinary person to buy - but everything in this mag is just so damn pretty to look at.

I was working miss shop yesterday - its sooo bad. I know i'm gonna end up buying everything i see next pay day. Meanwhile, I have my Hanson Tickets - i have my john safran vs god dvd, and my kiki's delivery service dvd...and new jeans. which i might exchange for the size ten.

Im working in the christmas trim department today, 11-4pm. Yay i get to play with train sets, and scary mechanical snowmen and reindeer that sing xmas songs. I'll probably go batty by the end of the shift, but its okay. This will be a nice change from working in cheap cosmetics. Meanwhile my feet suffered so much yesterday, by about 7pm my feet had almost given up and my good mood slowly drained away as exhaustion kicked in.

There were some cool customers yesterday - and i bumped into John from books - he didn't recongnise me right away at miss shop cos he said my hair was down and doing some weird thing...lol. By 9 last nite my face was ick - i swear you could have scraped the oil and sweat off my face - you know what it is, myer is poorly ventilated and the air con system is crapola - so the air is stale (i have an image of John licking the air to test the staleness) and it probably doesn't help that my new moisturiser is driving me insane or that my make-up foundation is giving me the shits cos its making my face worse. Meanwhile, Im gonna be getting some new badges...woot! good thing about working cosmetics is freebies and stuff...all i have to do is fill out a questionnaireeeee about a brand, and i get a free badge and sample cosmetics to try out...ooooh exciting....well it would be if i was excited about make up. But im not. its aiight. but not AIIGHT.

playlist:

utada - tippy toe

Armand Van Helden - MY, my my

Eric Prydz - call on meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee call on meeeeeeeeeeeee

the 411 - dumb

Right Here's the Spot


Blogger is starting to give me the shits now
has anyone noticed how its managed to make all my posts look like shit? Well I have - and to quote Pauline Hanson "I don't like it".


Today I went to Ticketmaster at Myer donnie - because all the bloody hanson fans from oz emails are telling me that the tickets are already on sale...MY ASS THEY ARE! they don't go on sale till friday despite what all those MISLEADING emails are telling us - I should know that they don't go on sale till Friday because I wasted almost half an hour there this morning waiting for the nice lady, desiree to phone ticketmaster and ask them wtf?
As it turns out the reason the system wasn't working was because the tickets were not avaliable yet and there might possibly be a chance on me accqiuring VIP tickets to the show. So IF ANYONE wants to come along tell me by thursday night - cos i'm buying tickets Friday morning when i get in to work. Fuck yeah. I'm not missing out again.


I'm cooking noodles right now, then I'm gonna watched chungking express - a GREAT film you should all see. Wong Kar-Wai is a fineeeee director of all sorts of films staring maggie cheung and tony leung. Those of you who know anything about Hong Kong films will know that those two are some kick ass actors...maggie is fast becoming one of my favourites to watch on screen. GO see IRMA VEP (which if you rearrange the letters it says Vampire).


anyway my noodles are ready now


cds in my player:
basement jaxx - kish kash (LP)
hanson - penny & me (single)

As you all should have guessed by now, I'm very excited about HANSON coming in november. And I'm soooo excited that the tea party are coming in december - if anyone wants to come with me to either of those gigs, leaveee me a comment! I think james has agreed to come to tea party with me, but more ppl coming would be great too...I wonder if lisa wants to come...

I had band practise last nite and I forgot to buy ear plugs so I'm alittle deaf today - but nothing too bad. I'll just buy some ear plugs today when im out on a break. I'm working at myer today 12-9, tomorrow 11-4(in book dept..woot) and sunday 12-5. So it's alllll good. I'll be making the money this week. Good thing I'm getting next wednesday. I'm almost broke hehe. I'm not going to do too much unnessecary spending trips again. Unless i have to. There are a few things I wouldn't mind right now, like that cute purr skirt and singlet top - it's pink and very girly!

I have to finish off my HK presentation and start my Film Criticism one...so im going to be watching lost in translation all weekend long - and be on the internet, looking up all the stuff i need. It's kinda annoying how the one time I actually need to use the anime companion book, which explains lots of Japanese references - it's out of the lib...and ppl have put holds on it! Just when i need it, but it's okay cos I'm armed with my japanese phrase book and the wikipedia site.

playlist:

thrice - artist in the ambulance

phantom planet - big brat

timbaland & magoo - indian flute

basement jaxx - get me off

brand new - mixtape

Guess where I'll be on the 17th of November?

Wednesday 17th November
HANSON (usa)
+ guests
$40 + b/fee
On sale Friday 22nd October from HiFi - 9654 7617
www.hanson.net
More details soon

I'm am broke - with bills to pay - BUT on the lighter side of things I have some new anime dvds, cds and more clothes :)

I went to my fave boutique on Saturday ( sunset strip in ivanhoe) and bought a Blessed are the Meek label pleated black skirt - very girly and sophisticated - and i went to catalogue and got myself a pink halter neck top to go with it. So now I have an outfit for the formal dinner. I'm also getting my hair done for it - I'm gonna look so swish.

I was visiting with James yesterday - he picked me up and we went to his house in mornington! lol - and we practised a couple of songs and its all pretty easy. A monkey could play it - in fact they don't even need me for the recording, you could program it all into cuebase with the midi.

I'm a little nervous about it - next thursday is the rehersal. I guess we'll find out if it works then. But considering i kept hearing sleazy stories about Ben (the singer) its starting to scare me, but only alittle. Apparently though they've been rehearsing in their underwear - i told james they shouldn't stop just cos i'll be there ;) But we spent yesterday hanging out - having lunch - sitting in his car listening to DJ shadow and french rap metal bands.

You all need to see someee movies:

Spellbound

Lost in translation

Yep - thats about it.

playlist for a sunny monday:

Koda Kumi - real emotion (DJ MSK remix)

Dashboard - Am I missing?

Basement jaxx - Cish Cash

Cowboy bebop - TANK!

Utada Hikaru - Loving you (do do dodooooo ahhhhh!)

Joe - ride wit u

Phantom Planet - Big Brat

utada - easy breezy

I just tried putting on a utada banner - if u scroll down beneath the tagboard it should be there.....if it doesn't work- its not my fault, ITS YOURS!

meanwhile - you all need to check out the tea party's new cd - it fucking rocks my socks off! And i've got new socks too...i'll tell ya about them another time.
Also i've purchased Azumanga Daioh - if u see in the blog previous to this i did a lil character survey thing - it is one of the cuteeest and coolest anime's i've seen if u like ur anime without a plot and full of cutesy japanese school and culture references and the odd ocassion of perverted humour. Its a great series and I recommend it.

is it just me - or is it more fun when i'm spending someone else's money. Don't get me wrong - I love having my own money - its a great feeling on pay when u spend like half of it at once - but seriously im starting to feel guilty about all my spending. So i think now i need to budget a little. Less spending on things i don't need...Okay from now on - i shall stop spending as much...after the weekend...i shall stop spending so much...(Al just told me about the buffy and angel box sets going for 40 bucks each at target).

wanna learn a new thing today - find out about blogs and a million other things at Wikipedia

You are Kasuga Ayumu!


Which Azumanga Daioh Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I wasted ten dollars today on a phone cover - well actually it was a lil pack, it had a headset in it and a car charger, but the cover for the phone isn't as handy dandy as i first thought. Sure it'll protect my phone - until i have to re-charge the phone, which means taking off the cover (ripping it off more like it) - because the makers of this phone cover weren't very smart and didn't leave enough space at the bottom of the phone for the charger and ear phone plugs. the cover is cool - but just not quite right. but fuck it - if it breaks it breaks. And i still got a car charger and a hands-free headset for 10 bucks, it was discounted from 25. woot.

Meanwhile I wish more people would call my phone just so I can hear that ringtone again - yes i caved and i got 'all day long i dream about sex' lol...i feel like i got ripped off though, i mean it sounds like a monkey coulda played that midi. Im sure there is some poor soul who transcribes all these songs to polyphonic ringtones - and he's sitting at his desk, chained to a casio keyboard and synthesizer, churning out 50 ringtones a day just to keep up with the demand..and i'm dissing all his hard work.

Speaking of keyboards - im thinking of calling james. i woulda though if there was going to be some sort of practise they would want me there...but i haven't heard from him yet.

Also im working friday nite, 4-9pm at the cosmetics dept at myer. come and visit me because it is boring as fuck. and i'm in a dvd buying mood.....muahaha. i mite wait till after uni to get the sims2 though...i shouldn't distract myself further with more games.

Also i need a dress - although i'm leaning towards the nice pants and nice top idea - because i have nice pants now...mmm cue pants...mmmm....i'll be looking swish in those pants...haha..swish.

listening to:

b2k - uh huh

the white stripes - seven nation army

howie day - sail away

utada - tippy toe

saves the day - all im losing is me

i love my new phone. its so shiny and new
except i can't seem to open up the lil rubber cap at the bottom of the phone so i can plug in some ear phones and the charger. hmmm....oooh raaadio....handddy dandy.
so im just gonna play around with this phone for a bit....meanwhileeee James, if ur reading this - sms me or something, for some strangeee reason 3 different numbers were entered in my old phone under ur nameee..so i have no ideaa which number is ur current one. meanwhile....im looking for a new ringtone - so any suggestions would be welcomed!
well im sleeepy...im offff niteeeee

Things I hate:

• Oliver on the O.C - one of the most fustrating story lines ever writen for a soapie.
• Watching my dad dancing to thelma houston's Don't leave me this way with a glass of red wine in his hand - and how he reacted when i changed the song to Houston's I like that.
• My sister and her friends screaming over crap all
• CAKE! the evil temptation
• Work
• the smell of smoke on my clothes after a nite out

Things I'm looking forward to:

• New phone
• work
• Saturday nite & the 16th of October
• Getting paid
• buying the new hanson single and album(again)
• New Tea Party ALBUM...and hoping that they will tour again(im of age now)
• the sims 2 and ffxi (im thinking of buying both)

Things I like:

• Pudding (punch drunk love inspired)
• music - utada's exodus album & eskimo joe
• Love Hina (always makes me happy)
• Friday's Outrageous dessertt from TGI's (and hot waiters, even if they are younger than me lisa :P)
• Dot points on blogger...woot dot dot dot...

Things That fustrate me:

• Missing Hanson on fox fm - interviews, songs, and adds (nova apparently aren't into it)
• writing essays
• people who don't understand me
• the 35 minute wait for my self-saucing pudding to cook
• not having enough white shirts
• dial up internet
• Not finding vol 3 of Love hina manga ANYWHERE!
• Ugly leather seats

Oh my oh my.
My favourite Fan Fics have been updated - yay! But the worst has happened in Perfect Girl and Ellie is having her Taylor Hanson induced Breakdown in Catapult - and its all so exciting and its left me wanting moreeee.

I've been eating salty corn chips and turkey sandwiches today...and I've been watching movieees since yesterday. I watched Undead - an Aussie zombie alien film, crazy. Infernal Affairs - that Andy Lau is such a hottie when he runs - Punch Drunk Love - beautiful, lovely, weird, interesting - SECRETARY - what happens when obsession, love, and pain creates one weird fucked up yet strangely inticing relationship.

Playlist:
Led Zepplin - the immigrant song
Nelly Furtado - Try
Brand New - Seventy times 7
the all american rejects - swing swing
Brand New - Mix tape
NFG - never give up
incubus - talk shows on mute
Yellowcard - way away
Count the stars - Hold me up
The used - Buried myself alive

im blogging on my sister's laptop...so if u see strange btyppos - typos like that one - just ignore them. And i can't be fucked fixing gthem, so get used to it.

I didn't do anything last nite...i stayed home, i had my own anime nite, i watched about one episode of something then i think i fell asleep. Yesterday at myer was good. 9-5 is sooo much better than 9-9! I had fun though and i think i got more done too. I'm working again today 1-6pm in the ladies bfashion department, so if ur around come and say hihi.
I totally nforgot about the movie tomorrow lisa! I went and said yes to a mobile shift at myer from 11-4pm. maybe we can do nsomething after...see the nfilm at doncaster or something?
and im also working monday - doing recovery stuff from 9-1pm. that should be fuuuun...cleaning up the weekend's mess.

Im going out tonite - James has insisted that I go to the Armadale hotel tonite and see his band play. Hopefully he'll remember to put me on the doorlist...but that should be good. I'd like lisa to come along, but i dunno what she's doing at the moe..so i mite just get my brother to come and drive me. meanwhile my brother didn't get home till 6am vthis morning so he'll be passed out in his room till at least 3pm.

I'm hungry..im gonna find something worthwhile to eat....we just ran out of hashbrowns. cos i ate the last one...

anyway. cya.

Landscapes keep changing, HISstory teaches something,

I know I could be mistaken but my heart haas spoken, I cannot re-direct my feelings,

the waves have parted.

- Exodus 04, Utada Hikaru

I'm so tired. My legs ache from all the standing around on my feet that I've been doing. My first shift at myer and already I'm buggered. I worked from 9am-9pm and I never want to do that again. I shall be working tomorrow also, but just till 5pm, which sounds much much better to me. Also I'll be there for a few hours saturday in the ladies fashion dept and on sunday i'll be a mobile so they'll put me where ever they want me...yes I'm a lacky, a subordinate, a myer casual employee. Apparently we're the ones they suck dry and then throw out...oh goody. I'm looking forward to have my life force sucked outta me and leaving me like a prima thats run out of juice - you know, when you suck on the straw and the whole prima box just scrunches up and contorts from lack of air and juicy goodness. That'll be me - in about three months.

Today I watched Irma Vep - A greeeaaaaaaaaaat French film. I recommend it. I think Maggie Cheung is now officially one of my favourite actresses - but what is a famous HK actress doing in a French film you ask? Just go rent the film.

Also I watched the devine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood - um...was it suppsoed to be a light comedy or light drama? I forget...cos it was crap.

And one of my new favourite films - which isn't so new - but has to go on the list, Some like it hot with marylin munroe - Greeeat film! Hilarious! Guys dressing up as women - and all that weird stuff - crazy! I love it!

Well I mite go and sleep...and feel unwell somewhere else. Everyone in my family has been getting sick lately - its only a matter of time b4 I get sick too...ick ick ick.

Every time I think about you heaven knows I fall into a groove, You're like a great interlude...
- tippy toe, utada hikaru

Hi all!
I'm soooooooo tired. Yes its only tuesday and I'm broke and run down. Nah I'm aight. I'll be fine tomorrow. I'm working from 9am-9pm at Myer setting up the christmas dept. my oh my...i'll be making money. For so long I've wanted a job and now I have one and it's just weird to think that now i'll have money - but also alot less time. Alot less time.
It seems everyone wants a piece of the evelyn pie - some stuff has been happening, i'll write about it later on...well i've told two ppl...but shhh..i dun wanna jinx myself or fuck up. So just know that its kinda exciting - but like it may not happen so im not getting my hopes up or anything...not that they were up.

Uni has suddenly dumped a whole lot of crap on me (crap being assignments and presentations and such) so i have alot of work to sit through and do over the next few weeks. I have an essay due next friday! I'm supposed to have one week of holidays - which according to the university that one week is more like uni but without the classes - there is a strange term for it, but i can't think of it now.

i'm looking for academic articles on weblogs - if you know of any, plz plz plz let me know.
Thanks! *muaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah*

playlist:
utada - kremlin dusk
ff7 piano collection - Aeris' theme
freestylers - push up (because of a conversation from today with lisa - about pictures of headless semi-naked ladies' bodies and why its sextist(see steve's mobile for more evidence of males who see women purely as objects of sexual gratification)).

I was having dreams of cash registers last night. It scared me. Because I now realise i'm sure to have many more of the same scary, noisey cash register dreams. I start my first shift induction type thing tomorrow at Myer. I'm mildly excited about it. I'm more excited about next week being our last week of uni b4 our pitiful one week holiday begins - and spending that one week holiday working my new job, figuring how to get out of the union i just joined, and hopefully finishing FFX-2 finallllly. Oh and seeing a few new films and anime :)

I finally watched Blade Runner - director's cut - version last week. I liked it alot, although i think I may have prefered the book to the movie. Although it was a worthy adaptation.

When I have time Imight even do some writing, like a review of utada's new album or on the film Zoitochi or something...meanwhile - who wants to see Azumi? its a bad japanese samurai film- but the lead chick is hot, but lacks in facial expressions and the villians are the most amusing crazy bad evil-doers you will ever see - they are also fairly stupid (making holes in their hands or doing weird stuff infront of the camera and ruining perfectly good sentimental death scenes). I think i'll see it again hehe.

Is anyone else confused as to why Jessica Simpson feels the need to do more cover songs - and more bad video clips where she looks all innocent yet she creates a sexualised image of her self with her flowing blonde hair and pouty lips? And why, OH WHY does she feel the need to do a cover of the classic Robbie Williams song "Angels" (which seems to have become a karoke favourite of many people and of the kids on Aust Idol)? I kept wondering throughout the first half of the video when the hell they were gonna pull out the fairy wings for her, because this video was like watching a babyish stage play that a prep student may have put on(except with jessica's oh so sexy breathy vocals and coy smile). To me it just sounds over done and she's just singing it for the hell of it. I didn't feel any emotional connection to her rendition of it, it lacked the emotion and life experience needed to pull off that song.


Playlist for the nighttttttttttttttttttttt:
utada - let me give you my love
Houston - I like that
Guy Sebastian - out with my baby
Ciara - Goodies
starsailor - four the the floor
And whatever else i heard today that rocked my socks off!

I can't get enough of Utada Hikaru's new music. I found a forum that has full albums posted for downloading - so I've found the Exodus album and I'm slowly downloading each track. I didn't go to uni today - i'm just so tired, and lazy. But i did work today so it was somewhat productive - i also downloaded most of the FF7 piano collection cd. Ever heard the chocobo song played entirely on the piano? Its great! hehe..but i kept thinking of that crazy chocobo voice song...

I suppose I should write about my fantastic weekend away at Gracie Lou's beachhouse...so I'll post a list of highlights for you all to browse through.
- The Beach House! AMAAAAZZZZING!!!
- Pool table and Dart Board makes for drunken fun
- Lemon tart is tarty
- Fat Fred the bird
- Table top dancing (it was on the balcony on the outdoor table - and during the day)
- Battle of the sexes board game
- Strange phone calls to da boys & sam describing her self as a blow up doll
- Gracie and Em almost blowing themselves up at the bbq
- Bread with Alcohol makes ev less drunk
- Grace's lap dancing
- bumming around reading magazines
- the dvd player's warning "This DVD is dirty" and poor matt being teased as the girl next door froze at a pivitol moment of plot - on a girl's almost naked behind.
- learning how to play gin (again) and playing poker badly with strange karma sutra cards as chips
- eating mini quiches and pies before leaving

These are just some things that happened - it was a great weekend - alot happened and I know i can't wait to go back there again.

I got new shoes. yay! and their pointy and black - and for work...urgghh. But yay for new shoes!

Im wearing them right now..mmmm....new shoes. I'm going away with grace toniteee! her birthday bash is being held at her beach house and its gonna rock socks.

Im sooooo excited.

But that's not all im excited about.

Tomorrow morning on RAGE - the PENNY & ME video clip for hanson will be on! YAY.

I probably won't get to watch it, i have my own copy of it already, but its exciting that the boys will be back on our tv's and radio again soon.

Okay well a couple of things of interest for you all today, ummm lets seee.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/index.html - if you ever wanted to know what Britney Spears likes to have in her dressing room - go there. And there are lots of other artist and band riders avaliable to view. Prettty interesting stuff and i always like reading these things.

at the moment i've been downloading like crazy - but unfortuantely i've only been able to get four of utada's new songs and a few remixes of some websites - kazaa has been so unhelpful. And the people on kazaa are mean biatchs and won't let me download off them. So i've finally decided i might as well just deal with not hearing the full Utada Exodus album for the time being, so i'm downloading short clips of it. So if any of u want to hear her new stuff and its pretty crazy and different to whats going around at the moment, you can all find it here.

(these craps don't do many of the songs justice - 17 seconds is very long)

My personal favourite song at the moment is Exodus 04 - believe Timbaland produced that track and a couple of others on the album...

well im off to watch Sanjuro - by Akira Kurosawa (one of the greeeatest japanese directors EVER). and maybe i'll listen to some mmmbop later....*shrugs* it works for me.

I have this terrible habit of walking into things.

I walk into doorways, and tables and chairs, and into people all the goddamn time.

And frankly I'm getting sick of it. Im sick of my clumsyness and of my strange unwilling self-destructive ability.

For those of you who know about my love for shoes, you will also know that everytime i go out in heels for longer than two hours I suffer. Afterawhile I can't walk, can't dance and all I want to do it sit and wait for the pain to be over. But oh no, don't ask me to take off my gorgeous shoes - i'd rather suffer in them.

So obviously my feet suffer quite alot from these shoes i like to wear. So it doesn't help when i keep bashing my feet into stuff.

For instance just the other night when i was going to bed late, I turned off the light in the lounge room and was making my way to my room in the dark - when somehow i must have slipped on a rug(i don't think i actually slipped...but thats the story im going with) and i ended up rushing a table. So i hurt my right foot and the thumb on my right hand when i was bracing myseeelf for a fall. It was a very distressing night afterwards as my throbing foot wouldn't stop hurting that whole night and I couldn't sleep at all because of it.

The next day i realised my other foot was also hurting, but i don't know how that one happened.

So for the past two days i've been walking into books i've left on the ground. So thats my own fault and due to my laziness because i can't be stuffed moving them.

And if you think it can't get any worse - then wait till u hear what i did this morning.

As i was getting ready for uni this morning, i was planning on moisturising my legs - i like them shiny- so i lift my foot to rest it on the small table i have in my room (the one the cd player sits on) and probably due to bad judgement on my part, i stupidly whacked my foot on the sharp corner of the table. So after some cussing and cursing my sister's shoddy woodworking (she made the table) i finally realised that i was bleeding from the toe.

So after hopping to the bathroom and leaving a trail of blood all over the floor and rugs, whoops, i finally got it all under control and stopped the bleeding after about ten minutes. I didn't think toes could bleed that much, but apparently mine do.

So now I've missed my bus due to my bleeeding toe - i've wasted the whole morning! and i can't get to uni and not miss half of my class - so im stuck here at home now doing this.

And my mum wanted to take me shopping tonight for shoes - SHOES?! How am i gonna try on shoes when my left foot is in a state of of Hurtness. Im afraid to put my sneakers on right on - and im limping ever where...now i have to work out how to get blood out of my et...grrr..

This is my second blog today.
I dunno why. Im juust in the mooood for blogging. You should all feel so loved that I'm even bothering to write more useless wonderful silly shit for u all to read.

Well I just finished my media assignment - its not very good. I think i should have spent longer reading up on exactly what a textual analysis is (apparently its not just semiotic?!!) and i've uploaded it - but tomorrow i will hand in a cover sheet for it - its stupid handing one in now.
http://131.172.30.71/dmc04/echamlett/Evelyn%20Hamletts%20Assignment%201.htm

That's it there. click that link if u feel like being reading an essay of mine - a badly written essay of mine. I should reeeally start proof reading more often and stop writing my essays on the day their due.

I love henry rollins - you should all go and buy urself a fucking copy of his spoken word cds - cos its the mosssst crazy and funniest shit you'll ever hear. I seem to always listen to him when im essay writing, and its still funny every time i hear it.

Yesterday I went to jb hi-fi with my bro at eastylandy. We bought up big on the dvds again - but not of ourselves...for some strange reason the union at deakin uni geelong, seems to trust my brother with rather large amounts of money. In this instance, they wanted more dvds for their crappy rec room. So of course my brother petitioned to get some dvds - and he created a list of dvds people would like to see..Albeit that most of the films on the list only my brother would have heard about, eg. Bad taste, brain dead - and every other fucked up Peter Jackson film. See my brother likes alot of films, but he has this terrible habit of trying to enforce his film tastes upon other people. same goes with his musical tastes - which can be quite abstract at times and he can be quite annoying when he's he sees a dvd he personally likes and wants to buy for the deakin kids, and i have to remind him that not everyone wants to see the films he likes. He was reeeally apprehensive about buying the zoolander dvd though - just cos he thinks he's like not into mainstream films, doesn't mean he has to force other people to sit through fucking Barry humphries films. honestly, if i wasnt there - he woulda bought just crap with deakin's money.

But anyway - we found a copy of michael moore's awful truth season two for 16 bucks - so thats preeety coool. Im thinking it would be cool to invest in some kevin smith films - the special edition of clerks is going pretty cheap...i was watching it yesterday, the deleted scenes and alternative ending was reeeally interesting.

anyway.

songs in my head:
britney spears - you drive me crazy

...thats about it for now.

Crackers the Crime Fighting Corporate Chicken

its so obvious, why couldn't you see? That you can't go high flying without a pair of high flying wings!

Im doing my assignment now. Its coming along slowly, im just working out how to structure my own webpage. I feel like covering it with lots of different pictures, cos its pretty boring to look at right now. It gray. like my mood. Well i did consider making it back - but you know there was a time when i considered gray to be very modern - lol...well its the same colour as concrete and apparently alot of post-modern architects are big with the concrete.

i JUST LOST MY WHOLE POST FOR TODAY!!!! ARghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
fuck it.

Okay the long and short of it was:
Utada's Easy Breezy music video (or Promotional Video as the kids at utada-online.com call it)
-i said "ITS GREAT - WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOt!"
Then i blabbed on about crap. as usual.

but all you crazy kids need to know it my playlist for today:

Houston feat Chingy &someother ppl - I like it
uTADA - Easy breezy (is reeeally cheesy)
Nelly - Flap your wings
Freestylers - push up
Christina Ag & Missy E - Carwash
daftpunk - aerodynamic


www.arjandpoopy.com
- short flash animation, check it out.
www.webmonkey.wired.com
- for those who are html impaired.

Amaaazing new ppl! Utada's new video "Easy Breezy" is now avaliable for download! woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot!!! if u can't tell by now, im excited. hehe.
I've fixed my windows media so all my music videos play on the lil screen on the tool bar...woot. So now i can do work and watch music videos at the same time!!!! of course it is very distracting at the same time...ooh dirrty. You would think i would have a lot of trouble downloading videos on a 56k dial-up net - but surprisingly its pretty quick. Meanwhile Kazaa is acting up on me, has anyone else had any probs with it lately? Everytime i turn it on it makes my computer run slower than usual - i know kazaa makes everything slow rite - but even kazaa is running too slowerr than normal...I think i have to free up some space on the comp though...all those futurama episodes are taking up too much space!!!!!!! Meanwhile since im in a burning mood - if anyone wants some love hina episodes (the ova series perhaps?) or a few chobits eps, tell me.

My media assignment is coming along slowly. The essay doesn't seem to have progressed far at all. At the moment I'm just working out where to start - do i begin with some media bullshit jargon?(because i've discovered everything that claims to be academic is just jargon and bullshit and big words squeezed into sentences that don't make much sense and would only make sense if the only book you'd ever read more than 20 times was the Dictionary).

I wanted to put a picture of myself up here today. Because I wanted to talk about myself in relation to identity and the internet. I wanted to talk about the images I present of myself online, my online persona you could say.
But I didn't find any pictures I particulary like of myself, except for one of me and lisa taken on Valentines' day. But for fear of death by lisa's hands - i won't post it. I know she doesn't like it when i mis-use (in her opinion) photos of her - i honestly think its a nice picture of both of us. But its not the kind of picture I want of myself online. I think i want a picture that doesn't just show me forcing a smile for the camera, or one where i'm being a fricken idiot. There are plenty of those pictures but none that really show me in a way that I want to be represented.

Okay for those of you with a few minutes to spare - go to my website and look at the old pictures I have up there and tell me what you think about them. Don't just tell me if I look hot or ugly or whatever - I've been told that enough by strange icq ppl. I want YOU to tell me why you think I've chosen those pictures of myself to put up there and what kinds of images I am portraying of myself. And also, leave me a comment. I hate having to ask all the time - You should all just leave me comments anyway! I know people read this - but unlike marko street - i don't wanna put an ugly counter on my blog (i've had bad counter experiences, don't ask). Also Considering how long this blog has been going for - its stupid putting a counter up now after so long.

so until next time.
**********MUAH***********

ahhh the weekend.
Me and my bro took the dog for a walk and we got chips and sat by the river and ate them. We saw a water rat - very eww. Kinda looked like a possum though because of it's tail. But to think people swim in that river in summer and there are rats in there. I will never ever swim in the Yarra River now after seeing that rat - not that i've ever swam in the yarra before anyway.

I've been trying to do work all day and everytime i come online i get distracted. Yes, people distract me - but i've been loving all the conversations i've been having on msn of late. Everything seems to be going well, apart from my media assignment and the myer stuff is going well. I'll be doing the job training session soon, i'll find out next week what day i'll be doing it.

Tomorrow is the swinburn uni expo. I think my mum wants to come with me for it, which is cool - as long as she drives. She's started busing to the city of late - for meetings and eduactional things she goes to. But for me, Buses and Sunday's don't mix.

I have to read chapter 5 of web theory, i might do that tomorrow night. Same with my readings on modernity and post-modernism. Also tomorrow night I'm seeing the film Zatoichi at the nova cinemas. That should kick ass - I've been wanting to see it for awhile. I've been dying to see some more japanese samurai films lately.

I just got sent an email with the most crazy-wonderful-amazing-fantastic news!
Okay its about Hanson, so for those of you who don't like them - don't read this post.

The 'Penny and Me' single will be released on the 27th of September! WOOOOT
and the album 'underneath' on the 18th of October - YAY. Im very excited. I already own a copy of the album anyway, but now i'll be able to buy a copy with the dvd. yay. DVD...dvd...dvd...yay.

SO my playlist for today:
N.E.R.D - babydoll
Hanson - lost without each other
The juliana theory - this is not a love song
dashboard - living in your letters
Something Corporate - i want to save you
goo goo dolls - here is gone
steven speaks - the goodbye song

playlist:

punk rock 101 - bowling for soup

madeline - hanson

larkini's juice - live

I've been thinking. that maybe i should change my other blog. make it about film stuff. so i can write reviews and stuff there - and practise my writing. The reason why my previous post on this blog sucks so much is because I wrote a very lengthy post on the other blog - about my fear of a film called Salo. I mite just transfer it over here...or something. Because i like that post. Its the first time in ages since i've been able to openly rant and write about something. because i really think this blog is pretty boring. well it probably is interesting sometimes. But not really.

I used to write so much crap - i wrote a short essay on the word Fuck. which i still have somewhere. And i wrote a lengthy piece on some songs.. i have a piece in the works sort of now - its based on my theory that the song madeline by hanson is actually about the film Vertigo. Of course thats kinda crazy - cos when hanson wrote that song they probably never even saw vertigo - i mean...vertigo is an incredibly good movie - and 12 year old boys have little interest in films that aren't full of explosions and blood. Although Hitchcock has made many great suspense movies that involved blood - the birds, the scene with the bratty school children being attacked by giant black crows. Or even psycho - and the shower scene, the blood running down the drain. But the evidence is there - wether the song madeline was based on Vertigo or not - its still uncanny.

OMg..my cat is soo cute. just watching him trying to open the bedroom door is sooo funny.

meanwhile - i've just won myself some tickets to see zatoichi on sunday 29th of august. woot. which will be greaat - cos im busting for some more crazy samurai japanese films. princess blade rocked my socks.