I'll be your mirror

nancythompson - Mind,less
tokyo Jihen - dynamite
coldplay - speed of sound
the mars volta - drunkenship of Lanterns


...my stomach hurts from coughing so much. No i am not well enough yet...if i speak i'll cough and right now i dun wanna do that. I was so badddd last nite..i ruined a potentially good evening by coughing up a few lungs - and i though i only had one set. Meanwhile I worked today in jewellery...NEVER AGAIN.

the Naruto movie is out on bit torrent - after only two days after the raw was posted...ahh thankgoodness for the speediness of Dattebayo - the subtitling group that i download all my eps from now...i'll start downlooading later..its 700mbs so i'll have to burn it to cd right away...even though my new comp can handle it now...oh my this screen is 19 inches and looks riduculous...i think my eye sight will get worse now because of it...and why have a computer screen thats bigger than ur head? in fact..this screen dwarfs me totally. its huge. but we have a remote for the comp now...im sooo happy..no more getting up to change or fastforward dvds and eps...Oh no..i have a remote now that does all the work for me! woot.

I put together the cd stand tremain and carlos bought me for my b'day...i've started filling it withs cds..just need to figure out a good spot to put it now...

fuck im tired...http://home.iprimus.com.au/jbos/music/04mind-less.mp3 i shouldn't post this..but i have...hehehee....its awesomeee....go get some nancythompson into ur life ;)

meanwhile...i mite watch some vids...anchorman is calling me...

also..autumn to ashes kicks ass..and atreyu makesss me wanna bleed..i loveeeee it.

i'm in love with your strict machine:
goldfrapp - strict machine
johnny lang - give me up again
utada - wonder bout
gwen stefani - hollerback girl



Oh my its been a strange weekend. I'd just like to start by thanking everyone who turned up to my b'day on Friday. It was awesome because everyone who I wanted to be there turned up. And I really did fill up that room eh? lol. Well the party was a big success and thanks all of you wonderful ppl for turning up :)
I'm currently not feeling 100% right now..so this is gonna be a very short blog. I'm gonna just rug up and curl into a little ball somewhere...haven't much energy..yet i still have a big appetite for today lol..i've been eating all day.

Well also some news for ya all - mr. taylor hanson and his wife natalie are parents once again - they've just had a baby girl in the last few days...her name is penelope :) how cuteee...he can sing penny & me to her...awww...

this layout is really starting to bug me...

Well i just did a two hour show in the radio studio. I messed up a few times - yelled fuck (but not while on air) a few times and overall it was good but i know i can do better and there are little things i need to do just to neaten it all up. if anyone would like to hear my radio shows they can email me and i'll try to make up an mp3 or something of some of it. yousendit is the coolest site for uploading files, its so easy but it only stays up for a few days though which gets annoying when trying to download large files that refuse to be downloaded. lol.
Well im at uni now, it's almost 11.30 so im gonna see jim and have him listen to the show..but it is the show i was planning on handing in...i don't think i have enough time to do another one...well i might if i come in tomorrow. There is so much to do this week i don't know when im gonna find the time to do any of it! lol. and everything cost money too. 100 bucks here...60 there..i have a phone bill to pay and my dad has asked that me and my bro both pay some insurance...all he's asked for is 100 dollars at this stage. Well let me calcualte my costs for this week :
200 - layby
100 - insurance
60 - beautician
107 - phone bill - to be paid by the 28th...but my pay day is this wednesday not the next
and also whatever is left over is bar tab. I was trying to save some money for that too. damnuts.
So im gonna be alittle bit broke...already am a tad broke.
also i have another layby which is 119 - the his and her circumstances dvd box set from EB.
but i have two months to pay that off.

OKAY well i bet ur all wondering what lil evelyn got for her b'day...well...the present listing goes alittle something like this:
minidisc recorder
hello kitty bag
ffx-2 dark aeon yojimbo & vampire hunter d figurine
toxic earrings
and the most gorgeous bracelet from lisa! its sooo niceeeee!
Also i got a nintendo ds from cookie :)

a lesson to be learned from my last week
impulsive buying is very very bad. But stores that refund are very very good ;)

HIT ME!:
cubic u - how you doing'
vanilla ice - ice ice baby
eve - got what u need
Onitsuka Chihiro - borderline

I'm sitting here with my small yet cute bottle of sanpellegrino and I am reflecting on the past few days. I've seen some weird things - said even stranger things to people - and i managed to get rid of a shift in miss shop on wednesday ;) now just one more shift to lose and im a free girl for the week....wait did i just say girl? I mean WOMAN. lol i'm 21 offically now...nah i'm still not mature enough to be called a woman..i'll wait till im about 30 or 40 till ppl can start calling me that...shit i'll be 30 in a few years. How fucked up is that. I'm getting so old. I even have one grey hair which already causes me grief....Meanwhile..hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy starts on the 28th of april wooooooooooooooo...

It's weird. I've almost forgot that tomorrow is my actual birthday lol! I'm so focused on the party I guess I've forgotten my real birthday which is tomorrow. Tremain has already jumped in and wished me happy birthday which is sooo lovely of him. *sigh* he really makes it difficult for me to not like him eh lol. new naruto ep 130 is out - im gonna wait till the BT get's busy b4 i download otherwise i'll take me forever. last time i had the latest naruto episode in one hour. that was awesome. I'm not sure about this new Utada - exodus remix..the vocals seem skewed. Honestly I think it could have been handled better but maybe because the mp3 i have is shithouse quality is why i think it sounds alittle crap...the beats are good though.

I'm so busy its not funny right now. I'm sick of it. Im sick of myer stealing all my time and forcing me to go to uni on a saturday morning at 9am! I want to be able to go out and celebrate my birthday - i wish i wasn't working tomorrow...i have alot of work to get started on. the radio ads i need to do...i've got an idea for one already and i need to come up with some music for the alley tunes ads..i've got two creative ads almost written, just need to shorten it alittle and write it out and then record it and then edit it! woot. editing should be easy because now we're using audition - or cool edit as some old skool users call it - to cut up our sound grabs and bites so it'll be easy as pie. Logic audio can go screw its self...its so refreshing to have a program that will be easy to use yay.
and i want to make some promos for my two hour program which i have to hand it on mini-disc. So i need to write that up, organise it...write everything out word for word. Be extremely organised and make it all tight etc....its gonna be hard but im looking for a challenge. I wanna do well at this course and i need to start putting more time into it now. After this week Im gonna start knocking back shifts from myer. If i don't they will walk all over me.
And 8hour shifts and band practise don't mix well at all as i discovered last night. but band is going well..i'll be recording more bass and backing vox this sunday if things go to plan ;)

I can't believe how happy I am right now! is this it? is this what its supposed to be like? When everything is going well, when things finally fall into place and I discover things when I least expected I would...is this happiness? is this what i've been searching for? have I even searched for it or did it just land in my lap? Nothing can bring me down because the last few hours have been so good. Even just simply chilling and watching dvds - its amazing how more relaxed I am and how much I enjoy just being near him. At first the idea used to make me panic, but now I feel calm and resolved to make this work because I think that I really really like him. And I'm not just saying that cos I know that he likes me...in fact I don't really know because he hasn't said straight up - but he doesn't have to at all. He talked alot more tonight, which I'm glad about and i'm still laughing over the story about his friend getting kicked by a kangaroo. I don't mind the quietness, it just makes me want him more, it makes me want to know him more. But that's all it takes, just being near him makes me happy. and if i recall last rehersal it distracted me alittle, but i think i was smiling more just because of those thoughts and knowing he was nearby. I made him go home...which i regret and i don't. I just don't think my parents would be happy with the idea of cookie staying over...i think i need to explain a few things first b4 they'd be cool with it..like tell them that i'm seeing cookie as more than just friends lol. My sister worked it out pretty quickly...lol...she reckons i have a thing for stevens - lol also she commented on cookie being thinner than me...he's all bones..but so what...i like him like that. Gosh...hear me, i miss him already...i hope he gets home okay next time i'll make him stay over ;)

playlist:
the postal service - such great heights (john tejada remix)
MSTRKRFT - Thank me with your hands (panthers remix)
sharpshooters - japanese mathematics
lemon jelly - the staunton lick
!!! - Hello? Is this thing on?
Her space holiday - My girlfriend's boyfriend
dangermouse & Zero feat Doom - Somersault


My feet hurt so much. I don't want to stand up ever again. I'll just sit here and get fat on my ass. I'd rather that than the feeling of walking barefoot on glass. had a hard working weekend...friday nite had spur of the moment go out to bar eight moment...cover bands suck and some girls will do anything on stage to get a drink card except show nipple. but i had a good time :)
I worked at myer all weekend :( BUT im free next weekend wooot! crazyness shall ensue.

playlist of utada songs:
parody
time limit
For You
addicted to you

It's weird...in a good way though. I'm weird. haha.
I've been a busy beee this week...especially yesterday it was just go go go for me. I had a rehersal in the radio studio...so i recorded my ads and practised for an hour and tried to time getting the 3aw network news at 5pm...except the clock in the studio was off by about 30 seconds! so i totally missed the news and had to cut a song and ARGHH!! its annoying me cos i haven't got it right yet. So i need lots more practise which i shall do next friday cos its the only day off i have from uni and work. Im thinking i need to go in on weekends now because otherwise i'll never catch up...everyone else in the class know what their doing and I think i'm getting better at putting on a show..but i don't have the same experience as everyone else. But I try my darn hardest! yeeehaw.

Episode 127-128 of naruto is out now! I'm downloading it off Bit Torrent as i type this...i'm excited...its been one week too long without naruto to keep me happy. I was watching samurai champloo last night...it has to be one of the better anime series to come out of japan in recent years. Also i bought myself a copy of vol. 5 of Azumanga Diaoh - did i spell that right? And I love azumanga diaoh...i got my brother hooked on it too ;) its soooooo good. So that means there is only one volume left of the series to collect and watch and love...so thats exciting. Im seriously considering lay-buying the 'his and her circumstances' dvd set. it's $119 and it would be well worth it cos it'll have the dub and the orginal soundtrack and good decent subtitles on it (not like my samurai champloo dvds which are shockingly subtitled - thats what u get for buying cheaper inferior copies) Meanwhile i have only a few episodes of Revolutionary girl Utena to watch...and i must say that for when that series was made...they managed to get away with alot of innuendo and metaphors for sex - it's not explicit in anyway..in fact its very subtle and you don't even realise it till it happens..especially with the Utena and Akio scene.
And also i have too much macross plus to watch...Tristan wants it back i think..and he wants his gameboy back...woops. I haven't had much time for games lately..im waiting for a chance to just sit back and get a whole day's worth of gaming and anime in. See if i didn't have a job i'd still be sitting on my bum like a bum watching anime, eating noodles and playing PS2. meanwhile..my noodles are almost ready. excuse me.

nothing can bring me down...except one thing

The road to sanity has not been an easy one these last few days - in fact all my insecurities are starting to surface, I can feel the cracks already appear in my self-confidence. What I want and what I have are becoming two very different things. I was set on something - and then stupidly I agree to listen to things and people who tell me what I already know but all too late. And I don't want this "what if" question hanging over my head. Because it was there last night. I could feel the seriousness of what he was trying to tell me, even if i told him it didn't matter - it did to him. Even when i said i didn't care, he took the hint but still wanted to tell me everything that he was feeling and thinking. He was sorry for what he'd said thursday to me, but also that he realised then that I actually meant something...not alot..but I was someone he liked and it took his blutness to realise that. After so much abusive language in the car driving home last nite, i got over it. I'll think what I want to, I'll be friends with him, but I can't do more than that.


I know what I want now - I feel it so much. And it's driving me crazy. I wonder if he's out there thinking of me - if he's going crazy too ...lol i guess the cat is out of the bag now....but i feel very very lucky to have found something or someone as sweet as him. I don't deserve anything good right now, but i hope i don't mess this up. knowing me i'll mess it up and sabotage it in some way. My insecurities are already playing up - and all these scenario's are playing in my head like some bad melodrama. But i just think that if i think of the worst now - it won't come true. So I'm hoping for the best - that I don't run and hide and that maybe if i just go with the flow i'll be okay.

Last nite on the train to Frankston:

26/3/05

I haven't felt this way in so long. please don't let me down, please don't let me down.
Whatever happens tonight happens, whatever I wish for will and won't come true. but I don't care, just please don't take this feeling away from me.
It's been too long since I've been this excited. It's been forever since I've felt this way for someone. I don't even know if this is real, but I don't care because its the feeling I've been looking for. I've searched so many places, I thought I had found it again, but I was mistaken. Now it's here again, the same familiar feeling from long ago. It's knocking at my door waiting for me to open up.
Whatever happens, happens.
Whatever will be, will be.
No forcing, no changing.

27/3/05

we got alot of time and it sure feels right:
The juliana theory - top of the world
dashboard confessional - hands down
david franj - oxygen
howie day - collide
steven speaks - passenger seat
ben lee - get gotten & into the dark

I'm so happy I think I'm gonna pass out!

Nah I won't. But I couldn't sleep last nite at all - I could only think of him and how close he was to me. I couldn't focus, I couldn't breathe half the night because my heart was racing. I knew I wanted him and I had him - But I still wanted his arms around me the whole nite. He was just so sweet and last night was all him. I swear I didn't do anything but turn up - and to think that if I hadn't turned up I wouldn't be this happy today. All that effort was worth it and I can feel it. I get these feelings in my stomach like butterflies - and I know that it's right. I just don't want this feeling to leave me ever again. I'm on top of the world - nothing can bring me down....

It's funny how quickly I can change my mind about someone. Its also funny how utterly terrible one person can make me feel in the time of 30 seconds. It also just shows how sensitive I can be sometimes. I can injure someone else with my words - and then they throw it back at me and I can't take it. It's true, I do contradict myself. But fuck it. I don't care. I still know what I mean and I still know what I feel. That's the only thing that's real for me. I get to this stage where I don't know who to trust and I know that some feelings I shouldn't act upon because I'll hurt someone else. So I don't do anything about anything - and then suddenly I'm so bad because I actually DIDN'T do anything. Maybe I should say what I feel more clearly. Maybe I should respect other's feelings more - I think I do, as much as I can. But I'm unsure now of some people and their reactions and assumptions. I think some people assume too much of me. And I think that's what I dislike - the assuming. I wish I could be me all the time, but I can't. I wish I could trust everyone - but I can't. Right now, I think I've realised how fucked up some people are and that they are dragging me down into their own confusion and fucked-up-ness. Didn't I say I didn't need that. Didn't I think that. Didn't I avoid that? why is it so easy to revert back to old feelings? When things were less complicated. But decisions I made I won't break. Anyway, you don't go out with your friends. You can't always go back after that. but sometimes you can. And there's always hope in that. I cling to hope sometimes. That's what I'm doing now. I'm wishing and hoping that everything will work out. That what's meant to be will be and all that stuff. I'm not so lost after all eh?

stem - shiina ring "the real is but a dream"
l0w - kelly clarkson "they look at me with sad eyes, well I don't want their sympathy"
gamble everything for love - ben lee "love me with an open heart, tell me anything"
forget myself - third eye blind "who am I we both don't know/ time ticks by, where did you go?"

meanwhile james is sick from the pizza hut food. THAT'S why vegeterians shouldn't eat meat on a fricken religious holiday!

Sydonia - Life in a cup
Queens of the stone age - no one knows
Ben lee - catch my disease

I've never been this confused about anything. But I'm also never very definate with my feelings either. So maybe this is just a temporary situation and I'll go back to normal soon...I hope so.
I think I like the idea of someone right now more than I like them. And I think if I acted on every crush I had on someone, then i'd end up nowhere without any real idea of what I'm looking for. I think I know what I want. It just gets mixed up - with my thoughts and ideas. Do I want something real? Something that lasts? or something superficial and nasty?
Nasty is such a nasty word. Do I want to go against the norm for myself? Should I chase or be chased? I think alot, about what it could be like with someone - but nothing ever comes of it. And I think that this is probably one of those times. but we'll see ;) who knows, i'm just going with the flow and wherever it takes me I guess i'l have to wait and see.

My birthday preprations are getting worse - I need to rethink and re-evaluate how much I actually want to spend on alcamhole. haha

There are some people in this world that are just not meant to get along. Ever.
And I think I found of those people that I will never ever get along with. And another thing I've realised is that I just don't care. Well my weekend has been busy, full of 21st birthdays (Nat's and Klein's) and i've been working at myer all weekend. Which has made it interesting. but i've been lacking a decent night's sleep. Oh well i'll catch up during the week ;)

Well yesterday was a very interesting day and I'll tell you why.

First off I made plans to go to St Kilda with lisa in the afternoon. There was a festival happening in the botanical gardens there and lots of world music and market type happenings. But before I could go to that I had to take my sister to my Grandma's house and help her out filming a 3 minute film. So I happened to drive that day, because my mum was too slow and if i was gonna go out later we had to get aubrey's stuff out of the way first. So driving to Bulleen started off well.

At first I was like "Oh fuck..i have to go through that bloody round about" those of you will know this roundabout as the one that has a HUGE green thing in the middle of it...and I honestly hate going through this roundabout. But oddly enough i get through fine - and i remember even asking my sister "was i in the right lane?" and she was like, "Yep, ur fine".

So things were dandy - i got over the hard part of our journey. BUt alas, don't count ur chickens until the hatch. As I was driving along the road towards the templestowe shops (there was a festival on there too) - i noticed a car up ahead that was waiting to turn onto the road. I didn't think anything of it - UNTIL the fricken woman at the wheel of that car decided to not give way to me! SO I break, she breaks and both cars just skim the sides of each other. It was kinda like a screetching sound...it reminded me of finger nails on a black board. So I quickly pull over. And I'm cursing absusive language..and i'm pulled over and I'm thinking "shit what do i do next" so my sister gets out of the car, cos it happened on her side of the car and she's checking out the damage while the fricken woman who didn't give way to me starts driving off! I WAS LIKE..OMG! and then she was gone...i didn't get her number plate or anything. So we drove to grandma's i called my parents - my dad went fricken crazy over the phone and my plans for the afternoon were ruined.

BUt my day was saved by lisa, mark and carlos - they picked me up and we went to the beach and then had chinese for dinner. It was great :) although next time i think we'll all think twice b4 throwing shells and rocks at seagulls. that kinda put us all into a sombre mood.

Today though i went to uni - spent three hours sitting and talking about advertising on radio. It was good! i'm loving my course so far. its just getting better every week i think. Okay.well dinner is ready and i'm starved. BA-HA-HI!

Hear it on the stereo:
TKO - Le Tigre
Gamble everything for love - Ben Lee

modeling @ justin's 21st

Justin thought that this picture needed to be here. lol..So I thought I'd share it. It's a pic of me and tom..I'm kinda..losing focus and he's doing the I'm-so-hot-and-i'm-an-asshole thing. He does that well. There's another picture of us doing that..well of tom doing that. Ahh the camera loves him. I found out that night that i've been blacklisted by his girlfriend though - which is odd..cos i always thought jo was a lovely person and to find out that i'm hated by her...didn't sit well with me that night. Its not like i'm a threat..oh no..i wouldn't want to go there with tom, especially not after i realised what an ASSHOLE he is all those years ago - that would be 3 years ago...i think. well it was a long time ago..most of which i've forgotten.
But yeah..so this was just one of many pics taken from justin's new website. if i can find the link i'll post it so you can all go have a looksie at his pictures..cos there are alot. And most of them are of justin's friend ian...lol..Justin commented on the lack of me in those pictures...well my legs and shoes appear in a few pics...you can tell..cos i stand funny, as lisa noticed the other nite :) Yeah

on friday nite we went to the greyhound hotel - lisa and mark s came along...we met james, bonnie and her friend cathy. We saw SYDONIA and they were awwwwwesome..especially that song 'pain and suffering' omg ammmmazing. the band that followed them were just...not as impressive as them..in fact they were a huge let down compared to sydonia..unfortunately...then there was this guy call zig zag and his freashow...which involved him setting his head on fire (thanks to lynx deoderant), eating a light bulb and walking on a bed of glass...in fact he was on the glass for awhile. it was crazy, shocking , and some of it was disturbing but no one could take their eyes off it...and everyone was in pjamas which was weird.

hear me out: Al green - let's stay together
chingy - jackpot
basement jaxx - jus one kiss
timbaland & magoo - up jumps the boogie (feat. aaliyah and missy elliot)

ON the 7th of March was the day my dog died. Thinking about it now - it was so surreal then. We made a decision which ended the life of our beloved pet. Everytime I look outside I keep thinking she'll be there...but she's not. When I walked up the steps to the house, I waited to hear her barking at me - but i heard nothing. I saw the back gate wide open and the first thought that jumped into my head was "She'll escape!" then I remembered that it didn't matter anymore. Its starting to sink in now...I'm waiting for it to get easier. I have to remind myself that it was our decision - and we have to live with it. But I don't want to...I just wish it was all so different. It could have turned out better for her.

I try to keep myself busy...but its hard. I'm reminded of it all the time - especially when i'm at home. Its all my mum talks about to me - its like she's trying to justify her decision to her self and to me...She had second thoughts, but its too late now. There was never a guarantee that it would work out..when so many things went wrong. She was only 7 years old. I'm making it worse for myself now by writing here. But the thing I have to understand is why. Why her? why did she have all the problems? But there are no answers, only theories and assumptions. One thing everyone keeps thinking is 'This shouldn't have happened'. Maybe I'd be better off now if i didn't watch...if i had missed the whole event like my sister did - "Where's Briggetta?" she said as the vet drove down our drive way with our dog lying in the trunk of his car. "Where do you think?" I spat at her through my tears - "She's gone". I was pissed. It was an important thing and she wasn't there to say goodbye. But aubrey doesn't reall care about the pets that much...she does, but only when it suits her. But that's how she is. Its better though I must admit...talking to people about this. Lisa and Tremain have been a big help to me through this...they both listened to my sobbing over the phone..they didn't have to, but they did. And James has been understanding...he let me skip bandpractise (not like i need his permission). And that shot of makers mark that i had...helped in a weird burning/warm way. I feel like calling one of them now...like...hearing someone else's voice will calm me...comfort i guess is what i'm looking for.

Anyway. I just got a call from mark S...me, lis and him are going to see a movieeee....my headache is almost gone...and i've just cried..Again. great...now i'm gonna have a red face. I'd better pretty myself up now.

I don't think I can sleep tonight. I don't know if I want to - especially if it means that I have to wake up tomorrow knowing that Briggetta is not there. I sit wondering if what we did was right? If it was so humane then why do I feel so bad? Why do I feel guilty for it?
I felt like maybe we could have given her more time - but she had so much time and it was breaking us all to see her like that. Telling myself that it was the right thing to do - that maybe we could have stopped it, that we could still have her. And now I sit here wishing it could all be different - wishing that I didn't have to watch her fall into her forced sleep. I can cry all I want, but it won't change things. I can wish all I want, but whats done is done. We can't go back and change things, and now we've lost something close to us and it just feels empty and wrong without her.



"Little angel you gotta learn to fly, get up, earn your wings tonight -


Little angel just look in my eyes, get up and earn your wings tonight..."

Utada Hikaru - Kremlin Dusk

All along I was searching for my lenore
In the words of Mr Edgar Allan Poe
Now I'm sober and nevermore
Will the raven come to bother me at home
Calling you
Calling you home
You
Calling you
Calling you home

By the door you said you had to go
Couldn't help me any anymore
This I saw coming long before
So I kept on staring out the window
Calling you,
Calling you home...
You,
Calling you,
Calling you home...

I am a natural entertainer
Aren't we all holding pieces of dying ember?
I'm just trying to remember who I can call,
Who can I call?
Home,
Calling you,
Calling you...

I brought a secret propoganda
Aren't we all hiding pieces of broken ember?
I'm just trying to remember who I can call,
Who can I call?

Born in a world of opposite attraction
Is it or is it a natural deflection?
Torn by the arms in opposite directions
And is it or is it a modern mis- reaction?

Born in a world of opposite attraction
Is it or is it a natural deflection?
Torn by the arms in opposite directions
And is it or is it a modern mis- reaction?

Is it like this?
(Born in a world of opposite attraction)
Is it always the same?
When a heartache begins,
(Torn by the arms in opposite directions)
Is it like this?

Do you like this?
(Born in a world of opposite attraction)
Is it always the same?
Will you come back again?
(Torn by the arms in opposite directions)
Do you like this?

Is it always the same?
And will you come back again?
Do you like this?
Oh, do you like this?

Is it like this?
(Born in a world of opposite attraction)
Is it always the same?
(Is it or is it a natural deflection?)
(Torn by the arms in opposite directions)
If he changes my number,
(And is it or is it a modern mis- reaction?)
Will you tell me?

Is it like this?
Is it always the same?
When a heartache begins,
Is it like this?

If you like this,
Will you remember my name?
Will you come play it again,
If you like this?
Oh, do you like this?

I wanna take you up to my room - but you always have to be too soon:
travelling - utada hikaru
ska sucks - Propagandhi
across 110th street - Bobby Womack
long time woman - Pam Grier




I'm not in a good mood anymore. Maybe cos i'm tired...and pissed off with certain people. I shouldn't go out tonite - i should stay home and sleep. cos thats what i want to do right now, sleep for a very very long time.
I purchased a copy of Final Fantasy 9 today...it was at eb doncaster..and i swear that game was waiting for me. I was on the other side of the store and i just so happened to look up at the PS1 games and there it was...I rushed over to it and grabbed it off the shelf and i bought it there and then. Brand new, 49.95. i've been wanting that game for ages and everytime i seem to get close to it - it disappears. poof! and now..poof! it was there. so now im broke again..cos by the time i pay my phone bill there will be nothing left of my bank account....yay.


well im gonna go bitch some more about my brother to other people now...
cya

I think i shall survive this year afterall ;)

I had second thoughts yesterday. I was sitting in the tiny radio studio at Swinburn with 13 others and I thought to myself "What am I doing here? Why was I chosen out of so many others to be in this course?"

Honestly I don't need to do this commerical radio course - I could just find a job else where doing something - I have one BA under my belt, why do I need to do complete another course and throw myself into the deep end once again. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't want to do this course - I do. I'm excited about learning more stuff - but I'm scared about being on my own again at uni and being friendless. My first year of uni wasn't spent alone, but I had a hard time coping without those who were closest to me. I know that if Jon hadn't been so nice to me I probably wouldn't have made it out of first year alive. And now i'm at a new uni and I don't know anyone and yeah I'm scared. I'm starting all over again and it's going to be hard. I'm out of my depth too - almost everyone else in the course has had way more experience than me...I mean what do I know? nothing compared to them right? BUt i'm here to learn..and get a job which is why normal people go to university.


But I'm not normal.


In fact I'm not sure if I can be classified as anything other than human. Even that word betrays our imperfections. To err is to be human or something like that right?
Well i have my second class tonight at 6pm till 9! how crazy is that! I've never had night classes before. woot anyway it should be fun squishing into the radio studio again...hmm that's where i'll be for a whole year...oh goody. good thing i don't mind small spaces.

And I think I'm starting to scare myself:
frontin' - Pharrell
damaged - TLC
right side of the bed - Atreyu
Ohio is for lovers - Hawthorn Heights
drug like - Action Action

I just found out the news about Naruto - it's been Licenced over seas, which is bad news for the fansubber addicts like me - but this news can be taken either way. Its good and band. BAD because many bit torrents will stop supplying it and it won't be subbed by as many groups now. BUt its good because it means naruto will be on TV! but bad cos it'll be in english. BUt maybe now some of the video games will come out and stuff...but it'll be in english..and terribly dubbed. Okay i'm sure VIZ and ShoPro will take good care of the series, but the series will probably get hacked up so that annoying lil brats can watch it on their morning tv shows...bloody american television - they need to learn that animation is not just for kids anymore...but i think their slowly learning that. There have been some bad mistakes made to some great anime series - lets just hope Naruto doesn't lose its orginality or it insane coolness and japaneseness - i wouldn't want this awesome anime to get lost in the translation.

BUt for now i think i'll download episode 122 and read more:
anime news network
anime suki forum


I am lonely for tonight, baby come on and hold me tight:
Colours - utada hikaru
kelly clarkson (now i think of it, its kinda a hick name) - since you've been gone
lil birdy - tonights the night
AND that new basement jaxx song...can't remember whats it called.

all i know is what i'm missing...what i'm missing is your kissing ARE YOU LISTENING?:
michelle branch - hotel paper
nelly - flap your wings
britney speeears - do sumthin'
basement jaxx - romeo
utada - tippy toe & kremlin dusk (edgar allen poe anyone?)


I've had one weird and exciting day overall. My morning started like any other - i woke up at 6.30 am and rolled over back to sleep ignoring my alarm 3 times b4 i finally forced myself out of bed - to then only walk out of my room and collapse on the couch. at 9.30 Cid came and we drove to the vic roads for my P's driving test. At first he was like - yeah your gonna pass and i was like nah uh. BUT you know what i should believe in my self alittle more because strange things do happen to a girl like me. Well i was fine b4 my test and at the start - but during the test about half way i began to lose it. I made a few mistakes while nearing the end of my route but i made it back without any instant fails or anything. I got more nervous as the test went on, and in fact the car heated up quite a bit so by the time we got to vic roads again i was like sweating and concentrating and it was scary cos i was positive i had failed after that. THEN as we were waiting inside they called me over and told me that i had PASSED! i was like, "uh could you repeat that"...not quite believing it myself i needed to hear it again. So that was it i got my photo I.D - which i must say is an improvement on my last licence but i look very scruffy in it haha. lol. BUt its over now and i'm relieved almost - i'm not quite here though, it feels surreal because i've wanted this for awhile and i finally went out and did it and passed first time so no more driving lessons - so that means no more cid - he was cool. he bought me food :)
I'm alittle freaked by the idea of driving by myself now, cos its gonna happen but but once i get over those first nerves im sure i'll be okay. BUT i can't wait to get in the car and go zoom zoom on the freeway while listening to a crazy CD - yeah i'd in one of those cars that go doof doof with the loud music,..mauahaha i can't wait.

I really want to update this blog. I want a new layout design for it and newpics and graphics and stuff. I want it to look pretty and more of a representation of my self and this blog. Cos right now while it looks aiight its not quite me 24/7. Don't get me wrong, i go for that angsty blackness and gritty graphics as much as the next angst ridden blog writer - BUT i want some colour! lol. but i have no skill in the blog skin making department so if anyone would like to volunteer their services...lol haha...other wise i'll keep scouring blog skins for something cool.

Anyway. I had the best day out on monday. I went to the city with lisa and we met up with Michelle and we went straight to Max Brenner - which is this cafe at QV - or as everyone seems to call it "The chocolate place" and i must say i was impressed. No actually, i was in love with the place. If i had had more cash on me I would have stayed there all day long eating chocolate covered things, chocolate melting things and drinking their hot chocolates. never mind that the weather was like 30+ degrees lol..too hot for such warm foods, but it was deliciously mind-blowing. SO after this we had to walk off the chocolate and what better way to do it than around in melb central chasing bubbles and shopping! lol..we walked down to like feb square also to look at the art galleries which were awesome. I got some hellow kitty underwear..woot -its an odd feeling when you know ur wearing cute underwear. Its kinda like you know its cute...but no one else knows. ALSO i purchased a new top from dangerfield and its HOT so watch out..cos i'll blind you all with my hotness when i wear it out...yeah damn straight i will.
SO after browsing the art galleries we went off in search of cheap noodles and found a vietnamese place on swanston so we got noodles and soup. After that i can't really remember what we did but we stuck around for awhile and looked at different stores and eventually made our way back to melb central.

It was a GREAT day overall. and I'm glad i went out and spent the last of my cash....now i'm broke and i didn;t get as much as i thought i would in my last pay. So i'm gonna cut my spending...although i did buy the new love hina manga - i haven't bought a dvd since...three weeks ago..so i'm okay on that front...i have enough anime to last me forever...UTENA is great btw...awesome anime, i'm glad i finally get to watch it.

here are some chords, now start a band:

midnight star - midas touch
taking back sunday - the union

JAMES IS A MUTHFUCKER! AND DESERVES TO HAVE HIS BALLS LICKED BY CAMEL IN AN OVERCOAT.

losing the battle


Well i'm back here again on a boring sunday night. Last nite was interesting forawhile...then it got weird and i hated to rest of the nite. I was so tired i slept all the way home, it was good of carlos to give me a lift home...i owe him one - even though i get the feeling he will probably never take up the offer of a free ride of from me when i get my P's...in fact i think everyone will be alittle scared to sit in a car with me at the wheel ;)

I was sick all this morning - and i'm getting sick of being sick all the time. I think something must be wrong with me because this keeps happening. Im starting to think maybe its genetic - or that i'll have the same problems my mum has been having recently. I took some drugs b4 so hopefully i'll be fine for the rest of the night...my morning was hellish and i won't go into details because it wasn't pretty...actually it was pretty tame considering other times i've been sick...maybe im getting better, but i doubt it.

myer has cut back all my shifts,...but apparently all casuals are getting like one shift a week right now. Apparently this is always a bad month in retail...my last shift was so boring...i couldn't stand it. It was so good to just get out of there and do something that involved not serving testy customers and standing up.

last nite a few of us went to alumbra - which is this cool bar,loungey bbq place out behind the exhibition buidling near crown. its amazing what people can do with a small shed. although i had issues with the bathroom..it was alittle too weird for my liking - i mean mirrors go near the sink not in the fricken cubicals...common fucking sense was lacking in that design.

anyway....i've been trying to re-write some song lyrics and work out backing vocals for some songs with da band...i think the boys are gonna sick of me - for the last three weeks now james has put a microphone in front of me and i haven't sung a fricken line of backing vocals for them. lol..their gonna lose their patience with me i think haha. nah it'll all work out eventually...eventually...im working on it.

*sigh*
i think im gonna finish this up and watch a bad 80's movie...anime wise - i have new naruto eps and episode one of bleach now....interesting stuff it all ez.

Forget what you know:
kelly clarkson - since you've been gone
utada hikaru - first love (bohemian summer concert)
jay-z linkin park - encore/numb
beastie boys - sabotage

THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHOM HAS EVER BEEN FUCKED AROUND BY THE NATIONAL BUS CO.

I AM SICK of this. it is not summer timetable anymore - SO WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BUS!
YEAH okay so i don't have my p's yet - and even when i get my p's i won't have my own car so i'll still be forced to take melbourne's shitty excuse for public transport every day to uni and work. ANd while im thinking of making a complaint - i have made a few in the past - this time i really can't be bothered. HONESTLY. they should get their friggen act together.
anyway. i have to go and be driven to work now. THANKS FOR FUCKING NOTHING YOU STUPID FUCKING NATIONAL BUS FUCK COMPANY FUCKERS!

Stem - Shiina Ringo

There's a door here, but it will not break

There's a stone there, but it won't remain

Up there a heaven now, but it will not wait

And the lies there, the scent of it, just too much

So should you,Sow it once and make it grow, the sweet clematis

Let it flower, and paint it all of the colors bold

Instantly things fall and fade, return to silence

Why oh why, why does it all feel so sorrowful?

Dreams of what is real

There's a breath here, but it will not break

There's a face there, but it won't remain

Up there a heaven now, but it knows no name

And the stain is the color of red through red

And thus,

You cannot cry, confuse the lies, try to remember

When you rise, you take your steps with a strong desire

Time goes by, a breath it comes, like something given

Why oh why, why have these nightmares not long expired

The real is but a dream

From now on,

Should it grow and open full, the sweet clematis

Flower bold, but there's no need for rejoicing more

Precious life, this life, just once, it comes just one time

Keep it close, keep it from ever just leaving you

Crying tears confusing fears they are no longer

When I stand I know I'll never be down again

Nothing that I need now, once it comes just one time

Somehow, somehow, someone, ah

Entry Number One

I was just reading a fan fic and I've had this feeling all though it - something wasn't meshing for me. It wasn't as enjoyable to read a second time (rewritten) round and then a thought just hit me. It's not real. None of it makes sense nor do i find it believable at all. For the simple fact that this fan fic took real people and threw them into a fictional situation involving other fictional characters to work off. And it just doesn't work for me anymore. The characters are annoying now. Fan fiction is a weird thing...and it can be good or bad. And i've read alot of good - stuff that I can relate to, and right now its just unbelieveable and unrealistic. When it comes down to it, fan fics are just written by girls who idolise or want to sleep with famous rockstars or characters in a show. Im sure there is already O.C fan fiction out there about Seth and Ryan getting with the "female cast" but really its just the authors putting themselves in the lead roles. And reading about Zac Hanson - someone else's version of him - its kinda weird. I mean I've never met the guy, I'm sure he's nice...and nothing like the million different Zac's I've read about. Which is the annoying thing about fan fics - they perpetuate a myth about famous people...its all lies..and we'll never know what these people are really like in real life until we meet them. I've been over this so many times - But i'm not over it. I am in the sense i no longer have unrealistic expectation myself - but when will there be a time when we just leave it alone? i guess im experiencing what so many other extinct fan fic site authors went through awhile back...when it no longer feels right reading/making up stories about REAL people's lives.

anyway, thats all i wanted to say.

I went to doncaster and boxhill yesterday with Tristan. We had lucky cup and walked round to all the anime stores....so that was nice until we got bored and started walking around mindlessly in target and centro. i purchased the love hina vol 3. manga and ghost in the shell: innocence dvd...woot. the day before yesterday i bought a sponge bob dvd with TEN episodes on it...woot. I should stop spending money though, i spent 250 dollars on biotherm products last week, and 170 on paying off laybys and buying the DEAD LEAVES & Sanjuro dvds. also i bought some levis for 100 on sale...and i got a 60 buck jacket from supre - i only bought the jacket so i could put this reallly nice pin on it that i got from toxic. So I'm wasting my money basically on just stuff....and its annoying me. Don't get me wrong, i love the stuff i bought, but i keep saying that i'm gonna save up and as yet i haven't saved a cent.

I need to fill out my swinburne form and send it out this week cos its due by the 10th and already its the 5th today...so i'd better hurry up otherwise i'll miss out and be a bum for the next year.

I saw the incredibles last nite. I liked it alot. I think Pixar did really well with the action family adventure thing. And the animation was AMMMMMAAAZing. go see it.

anyway i'm off to watch ep 115 of naruto - *muah* keep cool.

playing with the new ipod right now...putting on some actual good music...my sister is driving me crazy. She's become the bedroom nazi and the ipod nazi....i swear i was so close to slapping her. anyway i think i mite go shopping for some bed sheets...i feel like something black and red...no more of this pink room therfore pink bed crap. Christmas sucked, except when i saw lisa and watched house of flying daggers with her...the movie rocked my socks off...andy lau and the hot guy from chungking and fallen angels was in it..so was the chick from crouching tiger with that name i can't pronounce. it was cool go see it.

I love my taking back sunday cd...its awwwesome. i'm listening to "number five with a bullet" right now. its cool. can't wait till i get paid...im going shopping for some new stuff...biotherm products are ammmmaazing. and i've found some cool basic tees and singlet tops from giordano really cheap..so im gonna go there and get some stuffff...woot. and my astroboy delux box set...wooooooot...hmm and i need some popcorn to pop in my all new totallly awwwesome popcorn maker complete with those crazy popcorn boxes you get at the cinema...woot.

It's that time of year again...and if i hear one more christmas song i'm going to scream.

Seriously, I am OVER it. I'm not over the presents giving and buying part - But I'm over stupid customers, bitchy customers, and the crap myer forces us low level sales assistants to listen to for 9 hours straight. Nothing turns you off a holiday quicker than working in retail or listening to crap christmas songs which are lyrically retarded and go something like this "I'M GEETTING NOTHING FOR CHRISTMAAASSS"....ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!*SQUEALS at the end of the argh* my ears.....anyway..im working 12am(midnight tonite) till 8am friday morning....I had such a hard time explaining that to my parents, they kept getting it all the times and dates mixed up...grrr... so im trying to get some rest now because otherwise i'll just fall asleep on my feet. Like who the hell is going to come shopping after 2am at myer? And the rest of the center isn't even open except for myer so whats the point? I know if i was still doing chrissy shopping i'd rather go to highpoint or chaddy for the 24hour shopping in the whole center not just crappy myer. not that myer is crappy - no only the eastland myer is crap. lol ;)

well i gotta meet up with lisa some time tomorrow hopefully and write up our fancy chrissy cards - yes we have expensive taste...but i'd rather send out nice chrissy cards than crap 79 cent ones that all look the same. anyway i gotta get some more sleep b4 tonite...stay cool kids.

listen to me:
Shiina Ringo - Kuki
usher - if i want to

watch me:
oprah's favourite things
willow
freaky friday (lindsay kicks Hilary's ass)

listen:
the avalanches - frontier psychiatrist
ollie and jerry - there's no stopping us
the chemical brothers - come with us (you must only listen to this song with ur speakers turned up to 11 - or 10 if they don't go that far)

Well i have some news for this week. And i thank my lucky stars (and god) for this one. I got into the Swinburne course! woot! i'm doing commercial radio next year! woot! i'm so excited and scared and shocked and amazed and I don't know what it was that they liked about me, but i am so grateful and thankful that I'm not going to be spending next year doing nothing. So thats one good thing about next year, its gonna be alot of work though. And alot different from doing my usual cut and paste radio. So i have alot of learning to do, but i'm gonna just throw myself into the deep end on this one and hopefully come up a stronger more mature and knowledgeable individual.

Oh well I can dream.

I have had the strangest 24 hours. I have had enough of these strange emotional ups and downs i've been having. While sober i seem fine and happy, then I get drunk and stay very high and fairly happy and then when i finally come down I'm so low that i've sunk to the deepest depths of the depression end of my emotional scale. And somehow when i woke up this morning my low was still with me. i've spent most of today as a sleepless zombie, (do zombies sleep? they are the waking dead after all) and i've been numb of anything emotionally stable and good. Even a work associate of mine (whom i don't work with that often) noticed a change in my demeanor. I wasn't rude...execpt when i knocked back the short bread biscuits that nadia made - but honestly I didn't want to work today. When i got into Miss shop this arvo i realised how stupid my day was going to be with nothing to do and no one decent to chat with (despite there being 7 girls working in that dept today). I was happy to be moved into christmas trimm dept, even though i had no idea about anything. Customers would ask me questions about the trees on display or about the crazy electrical singing santas and i would stare at them jaw open with a "oh fuck" look on my face...lol. I must admit though, speed wrapping is not my thing. even if its only tissue paper wrapping. And also i'll admit that i miss my personal care department. Yes it has its moments where it is boring and horrible, but i'd rather be there and comfortable than thrown into the deep ends into a busy department where i know nothing.

yeah anyway enough talk about work, its driving me crazy.

hyde - masquerade
dashboard confessional - screaming infidelities & For You to Notice(my anthem for the day)

Distance - Utada Hikaru (remix version)

Ki ni naru noni kikenai
Oyogitsukarete kimi made mukuchi ni naru

Aetai noni ienai nami ni osarete
Mata sukoshi tooku naru

Tokirenai you ni keep it going baby
Onaji kimochi janai nara tell me
Muri wa shinai shuugi demo
Sukoshi nara shite mite mo ii yo

I wanna be with you now
Futari de distance shijimete
Ima nara maniau kara
We can start over
Hitotsu ni wa narenai
Itsu no hi ka distance mo
Dakishimerareru you ni nareru yo
We can start sooner
Yappari I wanna be with you

Hito koto de konna ni mo kizutsuku kimi wa
Kodoku wo oshiete kureru

Mamorenai toki keep on trying, baby
Yakusoku toori janai kedo trust me
Muri wa shinai shuugi demo
Kimi to nara shite mite mo ii yo

I wanna be with you now
Futari de distance mitsumete
Ima nara maniau kara
We can start over
Kotoba de tsutaetai
I wanna be with you now
Sono uchi ni distance mo
Dakishimerareru you ni nareru yo
We should stay together
Yappari I wanna be with you

I wanna be with you now
Coz I know this can't be forever
We can start over, just you and me
I wanna be with you now
Coz I know this can't be forever
We should stay together, just you and me
I wanna be with you

-- This song just reflects my mood for today - so if you knew this song and what it sounds like, you'd know I'm very happy right now. Isn't happy such a strange word, its a very childish word to me. Yet its the only word i can think of that would perfectly describe my mood...hmm.

i've changed my tune about adsl - and while i'm not about to have one of those moments where i'll say i'd fuck the guy who invented it (past examples - the guy who invented napster or icq) but I will say FUCK I thank my lucky stars because those two episodes of naruto i have downloaded have been FUCKING AWESOME. now i bet your thinking, how many more times can evelyn slip the word FUCK into a sentence or paragraph. and you'll be pleasntly surprised when i don't finish this sentence with the F-word. lol..well almost (you'll be more surprised when the day comes that i decide to fucking proof read my blogs and get rid of all this bad speeling and crazy un-needed punctuation and grammaraaar. But it is not in my nature to proof read).

listen:
spinal tap - give me some money
utada hikaru - in my room
henry rollins - A rollins in the wry
Deepdish - flashdance (because i heard it exactly 5 times on the radio yesterday)

watch:
mean girls (cos their so meaaaaaan)
little Britain - I'm a LAAAADY! "you there, do you think i'm a laaaady?"
Naruto - ep 112 (chouji and his fat rolling jutsu)
the goodies - Kitty Kong ep.

I'm in one of those moods...i want to write something here but nothing i can think of really appeals to me. I've realised that ADSL isn't all that great because telstra sucks balls....literally honestly its been such a pain in the ass trying to just access some sites here. while the downloading of songs is usually fast - its not cool when stupid kazaa users decided they won't share their mp3s with my lovely speedy internet. hmm.

Right now. just then i had a craving for macca's fries. that really cannot be a good thing.

I think I'm becoming obsessed with lip gloss. Don't ask me why, but since trying the new rimmel jelly gloss...i think i'm hooked. meanwhile my new sugarbaby lip laquer is fantassstic - yet nothing seems to be as nice as the rimmel stuff right now.....i'll have to actually buy some gloss instead of just using the testers at work...haha. Honestly testers for lipsticks and such just become really eww and grotty after awhile. And to think ppl steal them, Eww...I wouldn't be able to live with myself if i did that, i'd just keep thinking about how many other ppl's lips have been all over that stick of lippy....eww....all the germs! testers are really not the most hygenic things to ever be thought of by cosmetic companies.
anyway...

oh goody - im now working saturday 2-7pm....damn christmas trading hours...looks like getting to james's 21st will be alot more difficult than at first thought....grr.

musiqueeee:
jojo feat bow bow - Its you

I was right. nothing happened. my night ended in a [G] rated way.

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20

Sun December 5, 2004
The level of sexual chemistry flowing between you and you-know-who is so powerful right now that you almost feel you could reach out and touch it. This could lead to some X-rated scenes but there's also a chance that it could go another way and provoke a combustible atmosphere. So do your best to steer the situation in whichever direction you want it to take.

Your lucky numbers are: 18,22

Your lucky colours are: teal blue,apricot

Sexual chemistry...ooh X-rated scenes... Combustible atmosphere? Bring it on msn astrosurf...Bring it on. but somehow i doubt my day shall end in an x-rated way.

I know I don't know you,
But I want you so Bad
Everyone has a secret -
But can they keep it?
Oh no they can't.

Well my interview went well. Hmm...I'm not expecting too much, but you know I can only hope at this point. I have to make an audition tape - so i'll organise that tomorrow or something, yeah and i have work tomorrow 6-9pm, and Kristie's 21st...woot. it should be good.

I had more to write here...in fact I had a whole post written until blogger decided to not work. Tonite i'm gonna go see team america - i'll post a review about it tomorrow or on the weekend or something. I feel like doing a bit of criticism. hmm...well i've run out of things and people to insult. I think I've exhausted pretty much every topic i can think of...but just wait I'm sure someone will do something stupid tomorrow....ahhh tomorrow is another day....im excited.

songs that made my day:
third eye blind - semi charmed kinda life (i change the lyrics when i sing this so its "he goes down and he goes round for me" and not the other way round ;) hehe)
mylo - drop the pressure
maroon(ed) 5 - Sunday Morning & Secret(see above lyrics)
the chemical brothers - come with us

I love my new Ministry of Sound 2005 Annual - in the words of the teen girl squad "It's sooooooooooo good!"
Nah seriously it is THAT good.

Okay well I've been meaning to post up things about the Hanson gig - except I never bothered to re-write everything I had written about it here...so maybe i'll just leave it. All you need to know is that it was good. Really good. Although I left that night feeling alittle disappointed and and also alittle tipsy. Yes alchol and Hanson does mix. Also I met some really cool fans, and I've never really associated with other fans before but I had a really good time hanging out with them till Lisa arrived and got me more tipsy after the gig at the Gin Palace - a really cool bar/lounge place....the bar tender was hot. Okay so that was the Hanson gig in a nutshell. It was surreal, good, and a nice experience i wouldn't mind repeating next year (if the boys come back with an actual band).

Last Friday night was the alexisonfire gig - they played at the Espy with I killed the prom queen and a whole heap of other bands. i didn't get to the venue till like 10 something, i finished work at like 9pm then once in st. kilda trying to find a park was murder...until we found one literally right next to the espy. It was a good night, i got some tee shirts - and got squished by a crowd while watching alexisonfire - who FUCKING rock. It was one of the most crazy fucking fantastic shows I've ever seen. It was really good and i HONESTLY had fun lol - lisa somehow didn't believe me...lol. anyway.

At the moment I have been working at myer quite a bit. I'm so buggered. Honestly working 9-5.30 is killer - and today 9-1 was just urghhhhhh, yeah no words can describe the pain of it...
So I'm home now and I have some news concerning my up and coming study for next year.
Firstly, I have an interview at Swinburne university tomorrow at 10:15am for the Commerical radio course - so wish me luck. I'm having a hard time actually with the application because it requires me to have 2 referees and I only have one so far, who is only reachable via email...and my other media lecturer well, he only knows that write shit essays (58 for my last essay). So i could use him as my second, but really i'd need to find someone better than him. And its very last minute now. Well I only found out about this interview and the referee thing yesterday. So this is the best i can do. Well i should prepare for it...get out a resume of some sort I guess. hmmm...

i haven't been looking at my emails lately...after that scary one with the dead girl under the bed - and after watching the grudge i think im all freaked out enough...lol. i love the grudge btw, i think im gonna go get a copy of the japanese version...

meanwhile latrobe keep sending me emails about some career thing this week...i think i might be too late to apply for it. Its just gonna tell me how to write an interview and shit...but i already know how to do all that anyway. Im giving my brother tips at the moe on resumes and stuff...he seems to be at a loss cos he's never had a crappy part-time job b4. I might do some research on my own now...because if i don;t get the swinburne course..its very likely that i won't - then im pretty much screwed. And i don't want to spend the rest of my life at Myer - some people have been at myer for like 20 years! and thats too long in my opinion. anyway i'd better get a move on. im gonna visit lisa at her mum's shop at 2pm...muahaha...then maybe i'll go buy some new tops...myer is taking 20% off all the good clothing brands, sale ends today so i'd better be quick....urgggh..and i have that vodaphone bill to pay..super cap my arse...

anyway. cya kiddies. and i hope to see some of u at gracie's going away paaarteeee. it shall rock rock on!

playlist for Ev:
planet funk - the switch
Slightly Stupid - Sweet Honey (from the O.C)
utada hikaru - animato

http://www.livejournal.com/users/april_wednesday/36991.html?view=81791#t81791
-film criticism of the film casshern. lots of pictures to keep u entertained :)


im seeing HANSON tonite. I just thought i'd share my enthusiasm here.........oohhh my oh my...
I've been waiting for this day for years...and right now it all seems alittle surreal. I don't know whats gonna happen tonite..my excitment is slowly building - im in a good mood now...im half way through with my essay..i have work later at 12.30 today...i also got paid today ;) woot
im thinking of buying the ministry of sound annual...and possibly the new azumanga daioh if its out..might get it later this week or something...

The only song i've ever really liked by Madonna is 'Like a Prayer'. Of course over the years the song has lost some of its appeal - But i reeeally like the Rufio cover of it. It renews my love for that song all over again.

The first time I heard that song was on Hey Hey it's Saturday...and i was watching Molly Meldrum do his thing and introduce the song. I remember loving the music video mostly - although i don't really remember much of it now, just a few bits of it. Im sure if i watched it now it wouldn't be the same and would probably be more of a disappointment because it won't live up to my memories of it. Actually I can't figure out why I like that song, maybe it was something about the lyrics or the music (which is pretty daggy now by today's standards) but honestly i couldn't tell you what drew me to that song. I guess its a mystery.

Last night I went to a Formal Dinner with steve at his army barracks. It was a very strange, interesting and even educational experience. It was an ugly building - lots of hall ways and small rooms and the girls bathrooms were tiny! the que for the bathroom during the ten minute break involved every single female who was there that night.

I had no idea what alot of the people were talking about but still i enjoyed the jokes i understood and i like the free alchol except that dry sherrie is ick. The white wine was worse than my usual drink of lambrusca cask wine, the red made me sleepy and the cheesecake was a disappointment. But other than that it was a fairly entertaining night. There were a few weird formalities and odd traditions that these army folks like to do...like clanging on a gong/saucepan when ever someone important enters a room. The standing silently and waiting for someone to yell "THE MESS HAS ASSEMBLED" b4 you can sit down. Also the carrying of the colours - which are flags - was highly amusing. In fact everyone found that amusing and had a hard time containing their laughter b4 we all were seated.

The social aspect of it was really good actually. I met some very cool people - and one guy who goes to latrobe and likes animeee!! woot. in fact he even offered to burn me the entire naruto eps 1-107 for me...wooot he was cool, we had a nice chat about games and anime. I met a girl Emily - she was really cool and she's into performing music and stuff. But my night kinda wound down with a foot massages from steve's friend rob - lol sounds kinky i know - but we both kinda fell asleep on the couch, except we all left rob there cos clearly he wasn't going anywhere. Those army boys have a hell of a day cleaning up now though lol. After all that mess with hellium balloons and chips and crap everywhere lol. It was a good night - an odd night, but good. yeah but i didn't pick up...and i don't know if i'd want to do that again though, maybe - lol i guess it would be less nerve racking a second time round - also being told what to do and expect before hand would have been nice lol. Right now I'm finishing off an essay and i've got band rehersal tonite, if anyone wants to hear the demos drop me a line and i'll burn u a cd or send u the mp3s. aiight?

okay cyaaaaaa kids.

I figured i'd link to the first 5 blogs i find on blogger's little random blog thingy...and this was it!

[ W h E r E i S T h E L o V E ]

http://soujiro18.blogspot.com/

Manic Musings Made by Max

http://hamster-riha.blogspot.com/

IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!!!!!!!!!!

I'd have to say that this is a pretty clear representation of blogs on the internet. teenage girl diaries, and adults with commentaries (which is just another clever way of forcing their right winged opinions onto others) - and interest blogs. which would be the last one...cos i skimmed through it and it was all about sport. In the words of Summer from the O.C "eww" ...

I don't know why I still bother to update this blog. Like so many blogs this one has kinda just existed for the sake of exisiting. It serves no real purpose and some may not even consider it a real blog - even though only a small majority of bloggers are political A-List bloggers - while my weak little chicken of a blog will forever be classified as 'a teenager's diary' blog. One that has no relevance or doesn't serve a greater purpose in perpetuating the weblogger's imagined community. The blogosphere doesn't really have a place for me anymore? well yes and no. But no one really takes an interest. I mean I write here for me, myself and I and occasionally for you(the anonymous reader) and sometimes i write things here for my friends. But no one seems to comment - which isn't wholly unusual for blogs, in fact it might even be a blessing - do i really want to hear what you have to say?

So this blog is really about nothing. Well I guess I can't really say that either - it's about me. It's always been about me more than social or political issues, and more of a running commentary of my life rather than on the world around me, although i will express my opinions here about the shit state of the country, unfairness of whatever is unfair and my own angry opinions about drive-thru at maccas, diva's who suck - and what music you should all be listening to. not that many take my suggestions, lol - i don't blame you, hanson is an acquired taste.
I used to refrain from talking about hanson alot - until recently of course, but i thought it would scare off ppl from this blog. But you know what, i honestly couldn't give a fuck anymore. This space is mine and mine alone. I can do whatever i want here, write whatever i feel like etc. I did have another blog for my more personal comments, but why should i have to hide all that - why should i have to censor myself because of the odd chance that someone i've written about might even bother to read it. so i've almost given up the other blog, although i like the name of it i feel like incorporating it into this one and changing i'm not a chicken to a name most of you will be more familiar with. Not that it will matter - none of my friends read this. So i guess i should feel free to write whatever i like. I'll just keep my more personal and emotional moments to myself then - in my notebook where they belong. So for now, this rant - which was inspired by an article which i can't be bothered linking to because my internet explorer sucks - but look up
blogosphere on google and see what you get.
Meanwhile - maybe i should vacate this space for others...If you think you could do a better job of this blog - leave me a comment and i'll let you write my next one for me.

watch: ashlee simpson fucking up on snl
listen: basement jaxx ...here's the spot...
try: bettino liano jeans

I just found out something cool - so i thought i'd share it with you all.
Most of you should know that right now i'm obsessed with Hong Kong films and i've recently done a thing on Wong Kar-Wai one of the mosssst awesomeee of the hk auteurs. Well it turns out he directed one of the bmw short films "the hire: the follow" but he's just credited as WKW. No wonder I loved that one so much...AND and one of my all time fave music videos was directed by him too! "6 days" by DJ shadow. if you haven't seen it go download it cos it's awesome.

meanwhile can someone send me an addy for that red vs. blue thingy online..and for the g.i joe shorts also..cos i could do with some amusement right about now.

listen:
you're so last summer - taking back sunday
utada hikaru - wait and see
at the drive in - invalid litter dept.

listen:
midtown - like a movie
the starting line - nothing's gonna stop us now
maroon 5 - sunday morning
jay z feat beyonce - bonnie and clyde
and that new song by thirsty merc that i heard on nova on the way home...

do:
make muffins
start a conversation with a stranger
learn to play bass geeeeetar

THE BLOG:

Since starting my job at myer - i think i've been there a month now - i've discovered lots of little cuts all over my hands and arms. Also working in the cosmetics department means that i'll try different lipsticks and moisturisers and products and by the end of the day my hand looks like a 2 year old's finger painting and smells like crap.

I've been blackmailed into leaving the house for a walk with the dog...otherwise my bro won't drive me to lisa's tonite. grrrrr...my feeet hurt. damnit. halloweeeen party toniteee...woot. lily's b'day...woot. cya cool ppl there ;)

I'm doing my Post-Grad application form now for swinburne uni. I found out about some other places recently that have radio courses...so maybe in the future i'll be off to singapore and studying production and radio type stuff.....who knows! i'll go where ever life takes me right now.


We've been having black outs all day long - which is hella fustrating because I have work to do and only now at 3pm has the power come back for good...except the lights have been flashing alittle...and the tv repair guy is coming at 5 - btw did anyone tape the O.C last night?
Because due to a weird freak turn of events i couldn't tape the O.C - nor was i at home to watch it on the cheap 20 buck tv in my parent's room. No last night at 6.30 guess where i was on my way to? I was on my way to MLC - yes the hell hole that i called school for about 6 years of my life. But annoyingly enough we ended up stuck on the freeway in a car that decided to give up the ghost and die on us mid-way. So we didn't get to MLC till alittle after 7 and we had to take a radio - and how delighted they were when the driver turned the volume up for their adolescent ears..I'd slit my wrists than have to sit through their maroon 5 obsession. And to think i was considering going to the concert with them - they'd drive me up the wall.


Okay anyway its all a bit crazy right now, lots of work to do this weekend but hardly any time to do it in. And lily's halloweeen party is on saturday night...muahahaha. Oh i need to buy a b'day card for her. anyway I'm off.

evelyn's top five

listen: Somebody Told Me - THE KILLERS

read: my ffx-2 walk-through

watch: chobits & family guy 'Rhode to Rhode Island'

consume: chocolate chip cookies

try: making a snuff movie - sacrifice your life for cinematic art!

Good Morning

I'm listening to a music never ending,

but baby don't you know i'll never let you down

You've opened me to so many different endings,

but baby I know that you'll always be around

I've succumbed to commericalism. I went out and bought the "shop till you drop" magazine which is full of items, clothes and beauty crap that is way too expensive for the ordinary person to buy - but everything in this mag is just so damn pretty to look at.

I was working miss shop yesterday - its sooo bad. I know i'm gonna end up buying everything i see next pay day. Meanwhile, I have my Hanson Tickets - i have my john safran vs god dvd, and my kiki's delivery service dvd...and new jeans. which i might exchange for the size ten.

Im working in the christmas trim department today, 11-4pm. Yay i get to play with train sets, and scary mechanical snowmen and reindeer that sing xmas songs. I'll probably go batty by the end of the shift, but its okay. This will be a nice change from working in cheap cosmetics. Meanwhile my feet suffered so much yesterday, by about 7pm my feet had almost given up and my good mood slowly drained away as exhaustion kicked in.

There were some cool customers yesterday - and i bumped into John from books - he didn't recongnise me right away at miss shop cos he said my hair was down and doing some weird thing...lol. By 9 last nite my face was ick - i swear you could have scraped the oil and sweat off my face - you know what it is, myer is poorly ventilated and the air con system is crapola - so the air is stale (i have an image of John licking the air to test the staleness) and it probably doesn't help that my new moisturiser is driving me insane or that my make-up foundation is giving me the shits cos its making my face worse. Meanwhile, Im gonna be getting some new badges...woot! good thing about working cosmetics is freebies and stuff...all i have to do is fill out a questionnaireeeee about a brand, and i get a free badge and sample cosmetics to try out...ooooh exciting....well it would be if i was excited about make up. But im not. its aiight. but not AIIGHT.

playlist:

utada - tippy toe

Armand Van Helden - MY, my my

Eric Prydz - call on meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee call on meeeeeeeeeeeee

the 411 - dumb

Right Here's the Spot


Blogger is starting to give me the shits now
has anyone noticed how its managed to make all my posts look like shit? Well I have - and to quote Pauline Hanson "I don't like it".


Today I went to Ticketmaster at Myer donnie - because all the bloody hanson fans from oz emails are telling me that the tickets are already on sale...MY ASS THEY ARE! they don't go on sale till friday despite what all those MISLEADING emails are telling us - I should know that they don't go on sale till Friday because I wasted almost half an hour there this morning waiting for the nice lady, desiree to phone ticketmaster and ask them wtf?
As it turns out the reason the system wasn't working was because the tickets were not avaliable yet and there might possibly be a chance on me accqiuring VIP tickets to the show. So IF ANYONE wants to come along tell me by thursday night - cos i'm buying tickets Friday morning when i get in to work. Fuck yeah. I'm not missing out again.


I'm cooking noodles right now, then I'm gonna watched chungking express - a GREAT film you should all see. Wong Kar-Wai is a fineeeee director of all sorts of films staring maggie cheung and tony leung. Those of you who know anything about Hong Kong films will know that those two are some kick ass actors...maggie is fast becoming one of my favourites to watch on screen. GO see IRMA VEP (which if you rearrange the letters it says Vampire).


anyway my noodles are ready now


cds in my player:
basement jaxx - kish kash (LP)
hanson - penny & me (single)

As you all should have guessed by now, I'm very excited about HANSON coming in november. And I'm soooo excited that the tea party are coming in december - if anyone wants to come with me to either of those gigs, leaveee me a comment! I think james has agreed to come to tea party with me, but more ppl coming would be great too...I wonder if lisa wants to come...

I had band practise last nite and I forgot to buy ear plugs so I'm alittle deaf today - but nothing too bad. I'll just buy some ear plugs today when im out on a break. I'm working at myer today 12-9, tomorrow 11-4(in book dept..woot) and sunday 12-5. So it's alllll good. I'll be making the money this week. Good thing I'm getting next wednesday. I'm almost broke hehe. I'm not going to do too much unnessecary spending trips again. Unless i have to. There are a few things I wouldn't mind right now, like that cute purr skirt and singlet top - it's pink and very girly!

I have to finish off my HK presentation and start my Film Criticism one...so im going to be watching lost in translation all weekend long - and be on the internet, looking up all the stuff i need. It's kinda annoying how the one time I actually need to use the anime companion book, which explains lots of Japanese references - it's out of the lib...and ppl have put holds on it! Just when i need it, but it's okay cos I'm armed with my japanese phrase book and the wikipedia site.

playlist:

thrice - artist in the ambulance

phantom planet - big brat

timbaland & magoo - indian flute

basement jaxx - get me off

brand new - mixtape

Guess where I'll be on the 17th of November?

Wednesday 17th November
HANSON (usa)
+ guests
$40 + b/fee
On sale Friday 22nd October from HiFi - 9654 7617
www.hanson.net
More details soon

I'm am broke - with bills to pay - BUT on the lighter side of things I have some new anime dvds, cds and more clothes :)

I went to my fave boutique on Saturday ( sunset strip in ivanhoe) and bought a Blessed are the Meek label pleated black skirt - very girly and sophisticated - and i went to catalogue and got myself a pink halter neck top to go with it. So now I have an outfit for the formal dinner. I'm also getting my hair done for it - I'm gonna look so swish.

I was visiting with James yesterday - he picked me up and we went to his house in mornington! lol - and we practised a couple of songs and its all pretty easy. A monkey could play it - in fact they don't even need me for the recording, you could program it all into cuebase with the midi.

I'm a little nervous about it - next thursday is the rehersal. I guess we'll find out if it works then. But considering i kept hearing sleazy stories about Ben (the singer) its starting to scare me, but only alittle. Apparently though they've been rehearsing in their underwear - i told james they shouldn't stop just cos i'll be there ;) But we spent yesterday hanging out - having lunch - sitting in his car listening to DJ shadow and french rap metal bands.

You all need to see someee movies:

Spellbound

Lost in translation

Yep - thats about it.

playlist for a sunny monday:

Koda Kumi - real emotion (DJ MSK remix)

Dashboard - Am I missing?

Basement jaxx - Cish Cash

Cowboy bebop - TANK!

Utada Hikaru - Loving you (do do dodooooo ahhhhh!)

Joe - ride wit u

Phantom Planet - Big Brat

utada - easy breezy

I just tried putting on a utada banner - if u scroll down beneath the tagboard it should be there.....if it doesn't work- its not my fault, ITS YOURS!

meanwhile - you all need to check out the tea party's new cd - it fucking rocks my socks off! And i've got new socks too...i'll tell ya about them another time.
Also i've purchased Azumanga Daioh - if u see in the blog previous to this i did a lil character survey thing - it is one of the cuteeest and coolest anime's i've seen if u like ur anime without a plot and full of cutesy japanese school and culture references and the odd ocassion of perverted humour. Its a great series and I recommend it.

is it just me - or is it more fun when i'm spending someone else's money. Don't get me wrong - I love having my own money - its a great feeling on pay when u spend like half of it at once - but seriously im starting to feel guilty about all my spending. So i think now i need to budget a little. Less spending on things i don't need...Okay from now on - i shall stop spending as much...after the weekend...i shall stop spending so much...(Al just told me about the buffy and angel box sets going for 40 bucks each at target).

wanna learn a new thing today - find out about blogs and a million other things at Wikipedia

You are Kasuga Ayumu!


Which Azumanga Daioh Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I wasted ten dollars today on a phone cover - well actually it was a lil pack, it had a headset in it and a car charger, but the cover for the phone isn't as handy dandy as i first thought. Sure it'll protect my phone - until i have to re-charge the phone, which means taking off the cover (ripping it off more like it) - because the makers of this phone cover weren't very smart and didn't leave enough space at the bottom of the phone for the charger and ear phone plugs. the cover is cool - but just not quite right. but fuck it - if it breaks it breaks. And i still got a car charger and a hands-free headset for 10 bucks, it was discounted from 25. woot.

Meanwhile I wish more people would call my phone just so I can hear that ringtone again - yes i caved and i got 'all day long i dream about sex' lol...i feel like i got ripped off though, i mean it sounds like a monkey coulda played that midi. Im sure there is some poor soul who transcribes all these songs to polyphonic ringtones - and he's sitting at his desk, chained to a casio keyboard and synthesizer, churning out 50 ringtones a day just to keep up with the demand..and i'm dissing all his hard work.

Speaking of keyboards - im thinking of calling james. i woulda though if there was going to be some sort of practise they would want me there...but i haven't heard from him yet.

Also im working friday nite, 4-9pm at the cosmetics dept at myer. come and visit me because it is boring as fuck. and i'm in a dvd buying mood.....muahaha. i mite wait till after uni to get the sims2 though...i shouldn't distract myself further with more games.

Also i need a dress - although i'm leaning towards the nice pants and nice top idea - because i have nice pants now...mmm cue pants...mmmm....i'll be looking swish in those pants...haha..swish.

listening to:

b2k - uh huh

the white stripes - seven nation army

howie day - sail away

utada - tippy toe

saves the day - all im losing is me

i love my new phone. its so shiny and new
except i can't seem to open up the lil rubber cap at the bottom of the phone so i can plug in some ear phones and the charger. hmmm....oooh raaadio....handddy dandy.
so im just gonna play around with this phone for a bit....meanwhileeee James, if ur reading this - sms me or something, for some strangeee reason 3 different numbers were entered in my old phone under ur nameee..so i have no ideaa which number is ur current one. meanwhile....im looking for a new ringtone - so any suggestions would be welcomed!
well im sleeepy...im offff niteeeee

Things I hate:

• Oliver on the O.C - one of the most fustrating story lines ever writen for a soapie.
• Watching my dad dancing to thelma houston's Don't leave me this way with a glass of red wine in his hand - and how he reacted when i changed the song to Houston's I like that.
• My sister and her friends screaming over crap all
• CAKE! the evil temptation
• Work
• the smell of smoke on my clothes after a nite out

Things I'm looking forward to:

• New phone
• work
• Saturday nite & the 16th of October
• Getting paid
• buying the new hanson single and album(again)
• New Tea Party ALBUM...and hoping that they will tour again(im of age now)
• the sims 2 and ffxi (im thinking of buying both)

Things I like:

• Pudding (punch drunk love inspired)
• music - utada's exodus album & eskimo joe
• Love Hina (always makes me happy)
• Friday's Outrageous dessertt from TGI's (and hot waiters, even if they are younger than me lisa :P)
• Dot points on blogger...woot dot dot dot...

Things That fustrate me:

• Missing Hanson on fox fm - interviews, songs, and adds (nova apparently aren't into it)
• writing essays
• people who don't understand me
• the 35 minute wait for my self-saucing pudding to cook
• not having enough white shirts
• dial up internet
• Not finding vol 3 of Love hina manga ANYWHERE!
• Ugly leather seats

Oh my oh my.
My favourite Fan Fics have been updated - yay! But the worst has happened in Perfect Girl and Ellie is having her Taylor Hanson induced Breakdown in Catapult - and its all so exciting and its left me wanting moreeee.

I've been eating salty corn chips and turkey sandwiches today...and I've been watching movieees since yesterday. I watched Undead - an Aussie zombie alien film, crazy. Infernal Affairs - that Andy Lau is such a hottie when he runs - Punch Drunk Love - beautiful, lovely, weird, interesting - SECRETARY - what happens when obsession, love, and pain creates one weird fucked up yet strangely inticing relationship.

Playlist:
Led Zepplin - the immigrant song
Nelly Furtado - Try
Brand New - Seventy times 7
the all american rejects - swing swing
Brand New - Mix tape
NFG - never give up
incubus - talk shows on mute
Yellowcard - way away
Count the stars - Hold me up
The used - Buried myself alive

im blogging on my sister's laptop...so if u see strange btyppos - typos like that one - just ignore them. And i can't be fucked fixing gthem, so get used to it.

I didn't do anything last nite...i stayed home, i had my own anime nite, i watched about one episode of something then i think i fell asleep. Yesterday at myer was good. 9-5 is sooo much better than 9-9! I had fun though and i think i got more done too. I'm working again today 1-6pm in the ladies bfashion department, so if ur around come and say hihi.
I totally nforgot about the movie tomorrow lisa! I went and said yes to a mobile shift at myer from 11-4pm. maybe we can do nsomething after...see the nfilm at doncaster or something?
and im also working monday - doing recovery stuff from 9-1pm. that should be fuuuun...cleaning up the weekend's mess.

Im going out tonite - James has insisted that I go to the Armadale hotel tonite and see his band play. Hopefully he'll remember to put me on the doorlist...but that should be good. I'd like lisa to come along, but i dunno what she's doing at the moe..so i mite just get my brother to come and drive me. meanwhile my brother didn't get home till 6am vthis morning so he'll be passed out in his room till at least 3pm.

I'm hungry..im gonna find something worthwhile to eat....we just ran out of hashbrowns. cos i ate the last one...

anyway. cya.