15-10-03 – Cruel -
I think of how easy it would be
To leave you lying
Alone with the guilt and blood on your hands

I wanted to leave you broken
Make you feel as sick as I do now
I hated you then and the sight of you makes me ill

Every single moment we spent together
I hate the memories I have of you
I was so bored with you and your like

I let you go because I didn’t like you
You were dismissed because I didn’t need you
I left you because of what you said
And of what you didn’t say

It was cruel of me to do it
But I wanted to make you feel
All my sadness,
Every single scar you left
I was so sick of feeling hurt
And I blame you for it.

Playlist:
Daft Punk - digital love
R.Kelly - Thoia Thong
Maroon 5 - Harder to breathe
Planet Funk - The Switch

Hey all.
Today has been hot! hot as. nice but hot. And its making me sleepy this weather.
On Wednesday I handed in my last essay for the year, it was exactly one week late...but at least its done. And i've enroled on the net soooo all i have to do is wait for the results on the net and wait for my enrolement form which i may not get till january...i dunno. Anyway, so i'm relaxing at home. Not going out this week, i shall next week. Im just catching up on sleep, playing some PS2 (kingdom hearts kicks booty) and i'm just downloading some music to send to my sister at MM.
She'll be back on the 1st of december...arghhh. which means i have to clean my room, cos it is...mess. total chaos. there are clothes everywhere...i haven't made my bed properly in a month...My logic is, why make my bed when i'm only gonna sleep in it and mess it up again in a couple of hours anyway! But yes, i am lazy. I'll clean my room tomorrow...yep. tomorrow.

Im planning on seeing KILL BILL and Matrix next week. Cos if i don't see it like now, i'll never see it and then i'll be all bummed and annoyed with myself. So i must go see. And i'll prolly go out next week, see what morgs is doing...U know, I've seen her TWICE in less than a week. I saw her last week at the bus stop at shoppo and i saw her again (but in her baker's delight uniform...pleats in shorts?) at the bus stop at shoppo on wednesday. Keep running into her there...we've agreed that we'll both go out one nite with shazz...go and boogie and such.

ahh. i really don't think my mum should complain about my room though...my brother just moved all his stuff back home and there are bags everywhere! gotta set up his computer later and play my game of sim city...hehe.

Meanwhile, u should all go anc check out the U.S site for FFX-2. it's in english, which means it makes sense...unlike the jap site which totallt confused the hell outta me...too many buttons. http://www.square-enix-usa.com/games/FFX-2/

And steve sent me an addy for a FFX-2 "which character are you" type quiz....he got Yuna...LOL...hehe
Myself on the other hand..


You're Paine! Fighting can solve anything and get
you you're way in life! nobody better cross
your path!


Which FFX-2 Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

So there ya have it folks.

OH! there is a doco on missy E on sbs tonite! so make sure ya'll watch it ;)

Yellow - coldplay

look at the stars
look how they shine for you
and everything you do
yeah they were all yellow
I came along
I wrote a song for you
and all the things you do
and it was called yellow
So then I took my turn
oh wh at a thing to have done
and it was all yellow


your skin
oh yeah your skin and bones
turn into something beautiful
and you know
you know I love you so
you know I love you so


I swam across
I jumped across for you
oh what a thing to do
'cos you were all yellow
I drew a line
I drew a line for you
oh what a thing to do
and it was all yellow


and your skin
oh yeah your skin and bones
turn into something beautiful
and you know
for you I bleed myself dry
for you I bleed myself dry


it's true
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine


look at the stars
look how they shine for you
and all the things that you do


GOOD MORNING everyone! actually i should be saying good evening..but fuck the formalities.
Well My studying is going OK. i know what i have to do..planned out my whole essay, it just might take me an extra day to write..fuck. Yeah, i probably could have had it done today, but for some reason i'm getting distracted really easily...like..oh there's my cat....stare for a good minute...huh...oh back to work.
I've been like that all day. and music is distracting even when its turned down really really low. BUT i have the windows media player no.9! yay..i discovered it today when i couldn't find the icon for windows media..and somehow the new version has installed its self...hmmm..maybe my brother had something to do with it.
Do you know he was watching his new porn dvd on this computer? THAT IS JUST SICK..cos....eww...this chair..i should swap chairs. Him and his strange friends were all having a porn video session last saturday morning in geelong..which i'm soo glad i missed.
Its soo funny cos he's so ashamed and embarressed around other girls with his porn birthday presents..he tried not to show the "gifts" to his chick friends at his party...lol...soo funny.

But anyway back to my windows media player..i am currently playing every single song on this computer thats in a My music folder...ehehe. well i'm skipping thru the johnny cash and elton john tracks of course - my dad has baddd music taste though..he really likes hick type music...its fucking strange the shit i hear him listeing to.

Anyway gtg the bill and the simpsons are on. later. ah but first alan needs my help...alas my work here is never done.

Songs i've been singing today:
Lara Fabian - I will love again
Limp Bizkit - Nookie
Christina Ag - Come on over
50 cent - thug love
702 - where my girls at
Hanson - This Time Around and Can't stop
Joey McIntyre - stay the same
j.lo - if you had my love

I can't find the shuffle button on my winamp! lol. its not on the skin and its kinda annoying. lol.
But i have a pretty good winamp skin..its a Utena skin, its bright orange, pretttty mad. My winamp 3 player has a rikku skin which i rather like also. and i have some flamey skin that rocks my socks..so my winamps kick booty.

Today was the longest day ever. You know i actually ate dinner at 6 pm. I had some microwaved stuff...which i think was a rip off cos its now 10:51pm and i'm still hungry.
I actually did work today, tomorrow i have to write it up and then hand it in on wednesday and then i have to start the next essay. A few days late won't matter much, so its ok. Anyway my tutor is overseas while we are all slaving away on essays...sooo by the time he gets back my essay will be waiting with the rest to be marked...so lateness shouldn't be an issue. i'm not making any sense, my head is getting alittle dizzy.

I've been a bad bad girl. I was planning on buying a video game this week, AFTER i did my essays, well after the geelong adventure, me and my brother were in the city wasting time before the bus was to arrive, and i decided i would show him the video game store in the city and then we would go to missing link..cos they've moved to a nice location on burke street. But we disagreed with their shop sign..go read it - cos there are alot better independent stores in melbourne..such as..my brother tells me Au-go-go. Just a little pretencious and full of themselves.

So anyway! we went to the store..had a look at the dvds...had a look at the new sims game...cos i was tempted to buy another sims expansion pack...THEN we looked at the PS2 games..they have the new buffy game and we were looking at dark angel, and all these other titles, too many to name.
Then we came to the platnium games..NOW i'm not a cheap ass - i paid full price for my beautiful copy of final fantasy x which was worth every cent, And two games that i've been wanting for awhile just happen to be platnium..so cheaper for me..which equals yayness.
So it was a toss up between Kingdom hearts and Rachet and Clank. Both equally fantastico games. AND i wasn;t gonna buy a game that day..but since i was there..and my bro would need something to do while i took over his room and the computer for the next few days, i thought WHAT THE HELL and we tossed a coin and it landed heads and we were supposed to buy rachet and clank. BUT last minute i changed my mind and got Kingdom hearts..and i must say i am very very very happy with my purchase. And my bro doesn't think its as stupid anymore...cos I MEAN it HAS CLOUD, and Aerith(voice by mandy moore lol) and it had wakka and tidus and yuffie and selphie! and Leon/squall! AND IT HAS TARZAN! how mad is that! and you can have tarzan in your party and he kicks booty! and i've always been a fan of Tarzan..maybe cos he looks so much like IKE! LOL..some of you would get that..But when the Tarzan film came out, I was with leanne..and we were like IKE IKE IKE! the whole time...ahh memories. But damn, the voice talent is pretty cool...when i heard Aerith speak i was thinking...that sounds like mandy moore - and it is! AND leon is david boreanaz....mmmm...and
BUt so far its a great game and to quote justin Timberlake "i'm lovin' it" .

BUt i should be doing my work. I should be. I did today though...so thats good. Lisa did my survey :) which is v. good. so now i can write lots of stuff about it. I'm report writing..so that'll be a nice welcome change from doing stupid usual essay format crap.

anyway, i'm off. NITE *MUAH*

i was gonna write a post. but i feel too sick to write anything. And i'm supposed to be writing an essay now...gah. i'm behind in all my work, and i have to go to my bro's 21st...which i really shouldn't go to, but i will cos i'm a nice person. and no one can come with me cos they all have work and stufff...i don't blame them..im so stressed about work..i dunno how i can have any fun on friday.

songs:
underneath - hanson (kinda my theme for the week)
good charlotte - emotionless
nivea- feat jagged edge + mystical - don't mess with my man (remix)
Yeah yeah yeahs - miles away

Underneath - Hanson

Waking up this morning thinking this can't be real
They say there's nothing love can't heal
Why don't you come on down so you can feel what I feel

Sitting all alone in this place
Even though we're here face to face
There is nothing gone but there's something wrong

Can't you see that I'm stuck here underneath
That you make it hard to breathe
Take a look around and tell me what you see
You'll find me underneath

I don't know what to say, would some know where to begin
I'm feeling that it's you beneath my skin
Well, if there was a notion for this pain that I'm in

Sitting all alone in this place
Even though we're here face to face
There is nothing gone, but there's something wrong

Can't you see that I'm stuck here underneath
That you make it hard to breathe
Take a look around and tell me what you see
You'll find me underneath
You'll find me underneath

If only you could feel what I dream
Maybe you hear what I mean
There is nothing gone but there's something...

Can't you see that I'm stuck here underneath
You make it hard to breathe
Take a look around and tell me what you see
You'll find me underneath
You'll find me underneath
Underneath

* * *

IT'S DONE! THE HAIR HAS BEEN CUT. lol. sorry, i know i'm making a big deal. i have pictures if anyone is interested? lol, i took pictures to send to my sister, cos she's away..and she's in a shit attitude at the moe, so she needs cheering up and pictures of me. naturally.

I am in a very good mood. the weather is great, i've been busy, and its been goot! I went out last night, which at first i was alittle worried about it, Shaz took me out to the 'Pool room' which is out in fern tree gully...far away. lol. I was expecting heaps of yobos and shit..there were a couple, but the night was pretty good. And i met shaz's friends and they are all very cool very nice people. But i had a few too many drinks last night, Shaz said he counted that i had about 6 drinks, and then started asking him not to give me anymore..and i still can't remember if i had both drinks...nevermind. lol, my memory is a little fuzzy, but i funnily enough i still remember everyone's names...lol. actually...no i do :)

But apart from all that from last night, i've been having a good day here. I made a cassette for Aub, i cleaned the house, and i've done stuff. And i've sat here in front of the computer for alittle too long looking at the sanity website and going through the pages and pages of animated dvds and videos...i'm up to page 29. But sanity is having a little sale, and a couple of anime films are on sale really cheap! BUT i will tell u all now, the uncut version of Ninja Scroll is coming out really really soon. But Sanity have wicked city, and vampire hunter and ghost in the shell cheap...sooo yay. But im looking forward to the uncut version of ninja scroll - which i've only seen once, and it really wasn't that graphic...the rape scene was kinda tame. But what really excites me is that sanity have Legend of the Overfiend on dvd. And i've been wanting to see that film, mostly because its mentioned in all my academic readings for my media topic.

I got into the animation class for cinema studies next year, woo! I'm really happy i got my first preferences for all my classes in cinema, but i can't actually remember what the codes on my form mean..and i don't exactly remember what the classes are...so i'll have to check that. I only hope that tomorrow when i get my media preference form back that i'm not too disappointed, because i dunno what i'll do if i don't get into radio production. there go all my plans..for a second time.

my mum got the matrix reloaded from the video store, so i'm gonna go watch, and eat something while i'm at it. hmmm...tim tams.

Mood: content
songs in my head: Third Eye Blind - Another Life

On the 14th of October it was Rach's birthday. She's 20 years old now. I wonder what she did, if she had a party, if she went out for dinner, anything.
But i'm not supposed to care, right?
Its hard to stop caring and to hate someone you've known for so long. But its even harder to come to terms with, when you realise that you never knew them at all.

Its a really nice day today. I'm getting my hair cut tonite, woo. I've had long hair for long enough, its time for it to go! Kinda makes me wish i was going out tonight. The last time i actually cut my hair was back in April. lol, and its now October..you know how they say you should cut your hair every 6-8 weeks to avoid split ends? yeah..well i basically ignore that. my hair is all ends :)
Actually now that i remember, the last time i cut my hair..i went to Street's cocktail party - *sigh* those were the good old days. lol. i'm feeling alot older now, i think responsibility has finally slapped me on the ass. I want to start making it on my own now, because i think i'm finally ready to do that.

Lisa sent me an e-mail, and there is a picture of a kitten in a beer glass...reminds me of the bonsai kittens site. lol.

Its almost 9am. This is the second last week of uni..woo.
I think i should probably go and do some work...i've been trying to do work all week, lol, but i haven't been too productive. Yesterday i finally got round to opening word and then i wrote down a biblography listing of all the books i took out of the lib. So from 10:30am ish till 8pm ish what exactly did i do all day? well apart from chatting to people all day, i updated my website, again. I read other people's blogs and then wondered why they don't update often enough. I went to some old websites, wondered why they didn't update anymore, then i visited a few other sites, and downloaded a whole stack of mp3s..and i still have more to download....urghh..this downloading is soo draining...who knew u could get tired from doing nothing?

ha. horrid. thats a funny word. Say it in a sentence like "OH how horrid" and with an english accent. haha. You know when your not really hungry, but u go and have a snack and then afterwards your like, "mmm. i want more" i feel like that right now. I have lots of work to do..but i really can't be bothered doing it..cos i would rather write bullshit in this blog than be actually doing something productive.
I updated my website the other day, tuesday i think. the front page looks cool and the index looks shite. I should probably move away from geocities, cos makes me go "arghhh" and maybe i should get more creative...maybe its time for frames? LOL. i have no html knowledge whatso ever...but i like fucking with pictures in photoshop..i only know a few basic things, but its fun...anyway.
The anime pictures i used for my website were of Revolutionary Girl Utena...go here http://www.ohtori.nu/ this site has heaps of info and pics and is damn pretty to look at.


"Not A Pretty Girl" - ani difranco
I am not a pretty girl
that is not what I do
I ain't no damsel in distess
and I don't need to be rescued
so put me down punk
maybe you'd prefer a maiden fair
isn't there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

I am not an angry girl
but it seems like I've got everyone fooled
every time I say something they find hard to hear
they chalk it up to my anger
and never to their own fear
and imagine you're a girl
just trying to finally come clean
knowing full well they'd prefer you
were dirty and smiling

and I am sorry
I am not a maiden fair
and I am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

and generally my generation
wouldn't be caught dead working for the man
and generally I agree with them
trouble is you gotta have youself an alternate plan
and I have earned my disillusionment
I have been working all of my life
and I am a patriot
I have been fighting the good fight
and what if there are no damsels in distress
what if I knew that and I called your bluff?
don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down
whether or not you ever show up

I am not a pretty girl
I don't want to be a pretty girl
no I want to be more than a pretty girl

DJ EV. that doesn't sounds too cool. Maybe because i should never become a DJ - because my name is too horrid and too evil to be allowed next to the title of DJ.
My bro is having his 21st b'day party on the 31st of October - all my friends are invited to come along (i don't expect any of my friend to actually go)- BUT its in geelong. LOL. how the fuck are people gonna get there...i dun even know how i'll get there...But its gansta themed - and my bro has basically asked me to do some compliation cds for him - just some funky stuff, and tracks from soundtracks. I can't believe that my brother would actually leave me in charge of music for his fucking party - he is sooo stubborn, ignorant, and biased when it comes to music. If i tell him a band is good..he'll say its shit just because - THEN a month later a friend of his will tell him about the same band and then its fucking awesome. and thats just stoopid. I was downloading The Distillers the other nite..and he was like "WHY the fuck are u downloading them! YOU don't like them! You listen to fucking pop" And he hates it when i like some band he does. But he is slowly discovering DC...which is nice...cos now when ppl see his DC logo on his phone he can also say he likes the band.

OK. I'M very excited at the moment, because yesterday i got my very own dvd copy of Hanson Live at the Fillmore! wooooooo. I watched it today..and yayness! my dad got me the dvd from ebay...cos i kept nagging him for it - lol now im gonna work on getting the acoustic EP. woo. yeaah i know. i'm all teeny cos i still like hanson..but fuck u. their music makes me happy.

omg..i just found a site....a site i haven't seen in agess..it moved! stupid ppl..wait. stupid people.
anyway. i gotta gooo. australian idol will be on soon. HOW DARE THE STUPID VOTING PUBLIC OF AUSTRALIA NOT VOTE FOR LEVI. that was disgusting last nite. Paulini and Levi were up with Shannon in the bottom three. Rob should have been up there instead of Paulini..that was soooo bad. And Levi gets booted out - soooo unfair. I voted for Levi..so neh.

boogie list:
Jungle Boogie - Kool and the Gang
Across 110th Street - Bobby Womack
Let's stay together - Al Green
Son of a Preacher Man - Dusty Springfield
As time goes by - Louis Armstrong

When i'm in a shite mood - i just put on some music and its just lifts me up and i'm in a fantastic mood for the rest of the day. A funky tune, a profound lyric - a good song can just make me forget about my life, make me forget about whats been troubling me. And make me feel like i can do anything to the right music.
Its kinda like this 'higher' spiritual music experience. So thats what i'll call it for now. But music has always done this to me, always reminded me of who i am, what my aspirations are..or were in some instances. Its inspiring. And damn well makes me want to get down and boogie.

here are some of my latest aquisitions:
Miles Away - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Me Against the Music - Britney feat. Madonna
A little less talk, more action (extended mix) - Tim Delux
Wasted - Cam Farrar
Tangled - Maroon 5
Bigger Than my Body - John Mayer
Troubled - Pink
Light your ass on fire - Busta Rhymes ft. Pharrell
Re-offender - Travis

Low - Kelly Clarkson

Everybody's talking
But they don?t say a thing
They look at me with sad eyes
But I don't want the sympathy
Its cool you didn't want me
Sometimes you can't go back
Buy why'd you have to go and make a mess like that
Well I just have to say
Before I let go

Have you ever been low?
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
What you did was low

No I don't need your number
There's nothing left to say
Except I never thought it'd hurt this much to be sane
My friends are outside waiting
I've gotta go

Have you ever been low?
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
What you did was low
What you did was low (low)
What you did was low (low)
What you did was low (low)

I walk out of this darkness
With no sense of regret
And I go with a clear conscience
We both know that you can't say that
Here's to show
For all the time I loved you so
So

Have you ever been low?
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
What you did was low
Have you ever been low?
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
What you did was low
Have you ever been low?
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
Cause what you did was low

I really really like this song. And somehow in my current state it fits. I think i made progress today, i finally came to terms with some stuff that i've been dealing with of late, and i've realise that saying i don't care about things and people is a crock of shit. I care all too much, and thats my problem. I worry, I cry over things that keep me awake at night. I can't sleep when something is on my mind, when something troubles me, when someone hurts me or offends me. I don't understand some people, and I guess i never will. I want to accept people for who they are, and i forget about the shit they've done, but how can u be friends with someone who isn't even a friend back. How can you care about a friend when they don't even have the decentcy to call you or write u an e-mail or let you know something, or trust you..or even tell you that they don't want to be friends with you.
Now, i'm not perfect. Trust me, i'll be the first to admit it. I hate my flaws, my imperfections everything about myself i want to change - i want to change myself my personality, everything, but i'm still learning things and the hard way. I throw myself into the deep end and try to swim. My whole life i've been stuck in situations, difficult situations that i couldn't escape only try to make the best of, my life isn't some comfy holiday, its hard - but i'm learning to appreciate it. And i appreciate every single person in my life, everyone i've ever known has affected me in some way. And i'm glad to say i've even learnt from my mistakes, and from other people - because i've seen how they treat people and i don't want to be like that.

I've done this stupid ranty shit so many times on my blog. I have to keep reassuring myself, that i'm not bad, that i'm not totally hopeless, that one day it will all be worth it. lol.

I wrote a short story last week, its about a boring married couple, who one day crack and try to break their routine lives. I kinda like it, but i needs work.

Anyway..i have a research report to begin.

Playlist:
Buried Myself Alive - The Used
Cute without the E - Taking Back Sunday
Asking Too Much - Ani Difranco
Beautiful - Me'shell Ndegeocello

i Really hate computers that suck. Especially uni computers that have shite keyboards that are really loud when u type and the arrow keys are screwed and you to push them really hard and sometimes twice for them to fricken work!!!
BUT lets look at my stars for today:
OK..lets not. NOpe it works..finally.
Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
Fri October 10, 2003
An occasional cataclysm is part of the existential mix. As an Aries, you are pressured to be both sensitive and responsibly worldly at the same time. Your tendency for explosion is revealed in all its blazing glory today. To stay creative and balanced, you must dance.

Your lucky numbers are: 9,26
Your lucky colours are: orange,lemon

WOO. HEAR HEAR! I'm gonna boogie 2nite despite the fact that my dancing partnersfor the nite (morgan and aimee) both can't go out..grrr. BUT nevermind. I'm gonna boogie at my place. If anyone would like to join me, you are welcome to come and boogie2nite also.
Meanwhile i need some ideas for music...gansta music..and not that gansta rap stuff..i meaan like those films from the 80s or earlier, you know mob type ganstas..need some godfather soundtracks or maybe the 80's music from scar face...yeaaaah.

OK.here is a very good site for you all to visit about Japan, really interesting stuff. http://members.chello.at/theodor.lauppert/japan/index.htm - and i can't link it right nowon this stupid computer...so go and do a cut and past in anotha window.. But read the posts about Japanese school life, really interesting!

anyway. i have books to find. I have questionnaires to type up..woot.
cya

You have Been Ninjafied

Evelyn Hamlett, from this day forward you will be known as Sly Raver

woo. i've been visiting people's web pages today and i was at Ian's site only a moment ago.

Since i'm doing links to sites, here is a site i reccommend if ur into fan fiction of the hanson variety, but even if u dislike hanson, the fic is still very very good: he spoke softly

aND i've beeen thinking that this blog needs a damn guestbook or sumthing..i was gonna do a blog out thing awhile ago...but i forgot about it..so i'll fix something up soon. But it would make sense if ppl would just go to my webpage and tell me their comments..but obviously thats too difficult for most damn people. wwww.geocities.com/evesygal
yeaa and the layout is fucked but hey..i can't be stuffed. I'd really like to fix this up actually, im thinking maybe i should have used lycos and tripod (cos they have a whole section dedicated to blogging)for this blog..but when i started blogging there wasn't anything like that at the time for blogger users. makes me wish for some html talent...

lol. another site i visit every so often is www.sassybella.com - the chick that runs this site is friends with leanne..and i didn't realise that for awhile lol.

OK. events for this week.
1. My sister has left. woo
2. my bro has left. woo hoo
3. Uni this week. boo
4. I GOT A JOB INTERVIEW. wooo hooooo

I sent out a resume agess ago, like months and months ago for a new subway store opening up in bulleen. And i got a call from them yesterday asking me if i was still interested and that i could attend an interview tonite in bulleen. So i'm alittle nervous, I haven't had an interview in awhile, soo i dunno what to expect. i suppose i'll blog tomorrow or tonite again and tell ya all how it went..but i'm nervous...i've had waayy too much rejection and i don't get how all the stupid people in this world can find jobs..and i can't even get one? hmm. its a conspiracy.

anyway. i gotta get ready, i have to go to the pines and return some books and then go to my grandma's for a little visist and then later go to the interview.
*MUAH*

"Tonight could I be lost forever...To drown my soul in sensory pleasure..."
- Natalie Imbruglia 'Beauty on Fire'

I have been awake since 4 something. I kid u not. I stayed up till 1.30 last nite watching some dodgy Hugh Grant film on tv that was on after 'ten things i hate about you' which isn't as witty a film as i first thought it was, (i guess back in year ten we all thought we were witty too) yet still highly entertaining :)
But back to me being awake so damn early, THE exciting day has come. My little sister, Aubs, has gone to MARSHMEAD! WOO. This means for two glorious months I have my bedroom to myself, not that i do anything in my actual bedroom other than sleep..But that is still a good thing. And my brother will be away at uni in geelong for the next couple of weeks, so it will be very very quiet around here. Just me, mum and dad for the next two months. SO it will either be a really good two months of quiet, or reallly really bad considering my dad is the worst person to live with. He knows how to piss us all off..and me and mum are alike in our tempers, i hate to say it but things could get prettty ugly.
Yesterday we had a farewell lunch for my sister, we went to Camberwell, to the chocolate box centre place..there is a little place there called Fortune Cookie - they have the dammmn best noodles there and its not that expensive at all..but my family has been going there for years and years.
SO ANYWAY, this morning, my sister had to wake up at like 4 something because she had to be at mlc by 6am. So mum wakes up at 4 waits till 4.30 to wake up aubrey, and thus wakes me up..so i was half asleep, half awake. Then at 5 something aubrey turns on all the lights in the bedroom turns on the radio - radio at 5 in the morning sucks - then she says goodbye to me..i mumbled something to her 'Go kick ass, kill and chicken, and eat cake' i dunno i was half asleep. But i couldn't fully go to sleep after that, and then before she left i got up and said good bye properly - cos i would be a rotten sister if i just slept thru my sister's leaving. lol.
So they left at 5.30 then i went back to sleep and woke up at 8.45 and found my cat sleeping next to me and hogging the pillow. damn cat.
I'm still sleepy.

playlist:
Letters to cleo - i want you to want me
Utada Hikaru - Distance
John Mayer - not myself
AFI - girl's not grey
Ani difranco - not a pretty girl
The Distillers - hate me

HAS everyone heard the glorious news? Square Enix - the software game company that has made such titles as Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts is making a sequel to FF VII! woo BUT it is not a game, it will be released on DVD as a CG movie. If anyone remembers the final fantasy movie, this won't be as stupid. Its called FFVII: Advent Children. hmm and there are pictures SO GO LOOK.

last thursday i went out. ooh. to club uk. and waited for maybe 5 minutes in line for goo and then went back to club uk. lol.
AND this week i have a horrible horrible cough. not a cold, a cough. An annoying nagging cough. So i've had coughing fits three nights in a row, and last nite i almost swallowed the cough lolly thing i was sucking - which was not plesant. But everyone keeps thinking i'm gonna be sickm- that in mid cough i'm gonna spurt out some vomit or sumthing to that affect.

I finally saw "Pirates of the Caribean: The curse of the Black Pearl" today - AND it kicked booty. More films should have cool sword fights were the heros of the film balance on beams and get hit over the head with large objects. I was very impressed with Johnny Depp as i knew i would be, and orlando bloom was soo pretty to watch. AND i finally figured where that chick is from! she was in bend it like beckham. DUH! But i very much enjoyed it, especially the pirates which were so much cooler than that Elizabeth and Will character..but the ending was a little stupid.
i MEAN that commander Norrignton who i've nick named 'stick-up-my-ass-stupid- head' and his line at the end about Will looking after his swords and that he should do the same with things in his life..I mean what ever happened to the fight to the death? A fight over the girl would have been exciting. Predictable, but damn those honourable and honest characters! BUt the sword fights were cool. lol, and i was impressed with the special FXs. the skeletal pirates were pretty cool. The movement of them was fairly realistic and it just added this great fantastical element to the film. But it was very amusing and very enetertaining. OUT of ten i would give it 8.

Evelyn's Top five songs for the week:
1 Mya - My love is like...whoa
2 Timberland etc. - Cop that disc
3 Utada Hikaru - With or without you
4 Koda Kumi - 1000 words (English version)
5 Stacie Orrico - More to life

MOVIes to watch:
Save the last dance
A tale of two cities - 1958 version
Life is beautiful
What's eating Gilbert Grape?
Psycho
Do the right thing

TV:
THE BILL
Australian Idol
Alias
Survivor
Jamie's Kitchen
and some strange show that was on late last nite called PJ's i think? hmm...can't remember better check the guide.

BYEEE

You are "Uso Mitaina, I Love You!" Your
personality is very spunky and to the point.
Some people might mistake this for anger, but
in reality you just know what you want, and
don't take crap lightly. This is one of my fave
Hikki songs, go you!'


What Utada Hikaru Song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I can't believe i haven't written anything about Australian Idol on this blog. Considering every sunday and monday is spent watching the damn show you would think that i would have made some stupid opinionated comment about the show. BUT i'll give you my top 5 australian idols, Levi, Cosima, Paulini, Guy, shannon, and Rob. If i voted, those would be the ppl i would vote for, i voted last week, but i won't this week. Levi is hot though, even if he doesn't win this i'm sure a rec company will pick him up, cos he is damn good, and so pretty to look at :)
SURVIVOR IN PEARL ISLANDS is on tonight! WOOO. how excitment. And Alias tonite will be good, you must all watch! AND that new queer eye for the straight guy show is on, the make-over one. Which is good, cos that means I get to watch two queer shows in one night, woo. But damn counter programming, And i think young and dangerous 6 is on tonite, but i'm not sure, but thats damn cool.
mtv video awards were on last nite, missy E won a few which was v.cool.

Playlist:
Beyonce feat. sean paul - baby boy
Timberland feat missy Elliot and magoo - Cop this disc
Dido- whiteflag
Mya - my love is like...whoa
Koda Kumi - 1000 words (english version)

I've realised its stupid having two blogs. because what am i afraid of to post here that i'm not afraid of to post in my other one. I guess because i know some people read this one. And no one reads the other, and damn well they shouldn't. that other blog details other things, if i'm having a hard time I write in it, like i did after i broke up with steve, but that's really about it.
Its like i'm ashamed of my feelings, feelings i don't even understand myself. I had a bad day on thursday, i don't know if u can tell from the last blog, but i was not in a good mood. That morning i had a hissy fit in the car at my dad..fuck he's annoying. so i was in a bad mood for the rest of the day after that. But it just progressed into something else, all i wanted to do was cry, every moment i was alone, my eyes just welled up. I just felt so upset with everything, so hopeless. I guess it was stupid, but thats how i felt. I felt so heavy, i guess with emotions, that day had been strange. The film we watched in cinema was so emotional, fantastic, but it was just so much to take in.
I've finished all my work now for uni, so i'm v.happy. That stupid essay for cinema i handed in on friday, friday was a good day, my mum took me to uni and then we went to arnolds and to the pines and shit. Still don't know wtf to get my bro for his b'day.
we wanna get him an ipod. but i dunno...he's such a fusssy annoying lil shit to buy for. honestly, if we get him anything he'll go "Ohhh but i wanteeed something BETTER". stupid. As my mother always says, never look a gift horse in the mouth.

life is always ruined by a member of the opposite sex.
I was reading mark's last blog, and it struck a chord with me. While his first para was about his movie-esq like moment, his second reminded me of something i'd only gone through 30 minutes ago.
Its weird how you can be surrounded by people and still be alone. Still have that sense of or idea that you want to be with someone, any one at all just so it'll all stop. Mark's problem is a little different to mine i guess, but i understand where he's coming from. I watched the film 'the hours' yesterday, and the idea of what is happiness, the beginning of happiness IS happiness, it doesn't begin, it is that moment. Im thinking about the themes of that film now, which now makes me think about my happiness, or lack of happiness. When was I ever truly happy? You can fake happiness, its easy. Every body is does it. "happiness is a warm gun" -who said that? i can't remember. So if that was someone's definition of happiness, then what should mine be?
I had an interesting discussion today about life, and the little things that we dwell on. One day all these problems that i'm facing now will seem trivial and irrelevant. I'll probably laugh at them. And at others facing what I did once, lol, i laugh at other people's misfortunes and i'm sure someone is laughing at mine.
Angst is a strange thing. We need it to feel numb, we need it to remind us that life sucks, that everything around us is wrong, that we are wrong. reminds me of consumerism. (more like advertising actually). But that's stupid. Because life isn't boring, or stupid or wrong. Life is what it is, and today when i was sitting inside at pings, by the window reading, the sun shined in and everything for a moment seemed better than ok. if only for a moment.

So right now i'm gonna leave. and walk to my next class. because i have to keep going, because eventually, everything won't be so bad.

(and on a bitchy note: THIS KEYBOARD SUCKS. fuck latrobe can't afford a new keyboard that works? fuck!)

I'm not sure of what I'm feeling now. One minute its hatred, the next its sadness and lonliness all mixed up, and earlier today i was agressive and dirty, and i was jealous, and only a few moments ago I was peaceful.
Go listen to some new Hanson Acoustic. I bet u all think i'm a fucking teeny bopper, but i promise you its anything but that. music always calms me down, yet it also reminds me of my current single status, i find there is a song for almost every one of my moods.
But if u want an example of the most perfect chorus in a song go download Penny and Me by hanson, and just listen, its fantastic..i luvvv it.
Shit australian idol is on! oooohhhh.
I have an idea for the novel me and theo are planning on writing. My idea could get dirty ;)
Judging by what i wrote today, it could take a nasty dirty turn. despite my, not wanting to actually write an erotic novel. ooooh...how naughty of me. lol. All my years of fan fic writing and reading will finally come to use. woo.
anyway. i've been busy with essays. yes, in one of my last posts i mentioned an essay I had to write well..uh...funnily enough the essay was due the day before i wrote that post, and uhh..i handed it in today. finally. I also handed in the cinema 1000 word essay on jacques tourneur. So its all done. now i got to start on my cinema take home test, which will be difficult, cos i don't understand the questions so well, and i have a whole heap of reading to do this week. Wednesday i'm spending the day in the lib, and i'm gonna read this huge book on History of Hollywood Cinema, its gonna take me awhile, and i have two more films to watch, welll maybe one...depends on the question. It shouldn't be too hard, but because i haven't actually done any of the readings for the subject this semester..i'm fucked :)

anyway, i'd better geeet offf.

playlist:
Sum 41 - Over my head
Sugababes - hole in my head
Kelly Clarkson - Low
Hanson - Misery