Day 2 Bridal Shopping

Yesterday I visited Simonelli and Baccini & Hill. Both are beautiful couture designers with a great range of made-to-measure dresses.
I bought along my mum, sister and grandma for this trip. My grandma was a dress maker for many of the top bridal designers and she knows her stuff. She still works as an on call dress maker even though she's in her 80's! Her knowledge is hardcore, she knows how a well made dress should look and when we were at Simonelli in the morning she got very picky on the samples. But samples are just that - samples. They are not a true representation of the finished product.

Simonelli is in Fairfield right next to the train station, definitely a weird spot for a bridal shop.  They have a beautiful range of dresses. After trying on dresses at Brides of Melbourne you can tell the difference in quality. A well made dress just fits better and feels better. I like a dress that holds me in. I really liked the corset feel I got from Mariana Hardwick's dresses, they just suck everything in and hide any of your imperfections so well. Simonelli was similar but not as full on. There were a few stand-out dresses. One in particular which is the white version of Nadia Coppolino's 2011 Brownlow Medal dress:

It's an amazing dress - but not within my budget right now. If I had $8000 lying around then sure I would totally go for that. But I don't and I need to be realistic about this. The reason why it costs so much is the silk and the drapery, it would take hours and hours to hand sew this.

I found a few other dresses, one my grandma and mum liked a lot - but I disagreed. Aubrey, my sister, sat there looking at me very quietly. She really didn't give me a lot of input like I thought she would. And as everyone says, at the end of the day it's my choice. The one dress I did like everyone else found reason to nitpick it because of one tiny thing on it that could be easily changed. Everyone forgets that because it's made-to-measure you can do whatever you want to the design. You can change bling, colors, the train, how much skirt layers you have etc. It's not what you see is what you get.

So in the afternoon my mum and I traveled to Armadale to Baccini & Hill.  Great service, not as big as Mariana's but the choice and the price of the dresses was very good. Baccini really caters to a lot of tastes and budgets and I'm sure that's why it's so popular with brides.  I tried on several dresses that I had picked out from my research online and we started there.  Two dresses stand out for me, both are very different. One is slinky and light and very Grecian and the other is so Dior with a full skirt and is very sweet. 

So there's the run down without giving anything away (hopefully). I'm going to take a week off from dress shopping because I've found 4 dresses that are great. But I think I was expecting something to really jump out at me and yell "THIS IS THE ONE". I think I've got some great options and any dress I choose is a winner. But is there such thing as "the one"? The one dress to rule them all? How do I know which dress is "the one"? What if I make a mistake and regret it?
Am I thinking about this too much? YES

Day One Bridal Dress Shopping

So the first stop on my list today was Mariana Hardwick on Sydney Rd Brunswick. I have been told a few bad stories about the customer service at Mariana Hardwick but I went in with an open mind and I had a wonderful experience.The showroom is amazing. It's very open and spacious, lots of small areas set up for the brides to try things on in. We were away from the main room in one of the side rooms so it was a little more private.

Our sales assistant (bridal consultant?) was very good. I think it helped having a few dresses already picked out so we could start from there. I only tried on 4 dresses while I was there. Of the two I loved (both were similar in style but very different in embellishments and the skirt was different), one was the first design I picked out and the second was one the sales assistant suggested. 

One of the things I was worried about was having to strip in front of a stranger, but I shouldn't have been worried. They must do this all the time and know where not to look. It reminds me of my Myer days when I used to work Miss Shop and the Bra dept. I had seen some weird horrors there in my time, so I imagine the girls in a bridal boutique would be used to pretty much everything.  By the time I got to Brides of Melbourne in the GPO on Bourke St I was no longer worried about stripping off. I also bought with me my own shoes so I wouldn't have to wear the ones provided, but the problem with this was that the shoes I picked haven't been broken-in yet and killed my feet. 

Brides of Melbourne seems to be a one stop shop for every kind of bride. They had such a range of dresses. There was a lot of organza. I don't think that was a good thing. I prefer tulle or lace.  Most of the dresses in the shop are made- to- order which means you pick a style and they take your measurements and 4 months later you get a dress. After that they make alternations to make sure it fits you perfectly.  There are a lot of hidden costs in buying a dress. Any extra embellishments you must pay for yourself, and any alteration to the design of the dress will cost you.

The service at Brides of Melbourne was good. But I will be honest, after going to Mariana Hardwick, I see why women will pay more for their wedding dress. The difference is the quality (fabric & design).   The first two dresses I tried on were not good. My mother and I shared a few knowing looks, we knew they weren't right and we were both comparing them to Mariana Hardwick dresses.   We eventually agreed on a lace dress, but apparently if I want to try it on again I have to go in before the end of the week because the sample was on loan.  This just sounds like a big inconvenience to me. The one dress in the shop I like and if I want it I have to decided this week! Honestly I'd rather pay more for convenience than pay less and have a dress come in that I guess I'll like. And what if I order the dress having only seen it once. What if I forget what it looks like? What if I hate it in 4-5 months?

But here's the dilemma: Do you buy a dress that is way over your budget but you love it and makes you feel amazing when you wear it - or do you buy the dress within your budget and feel okay with it but not amazed by it?

At the end of the day, does it really matter what kind of dress I wear? Is the dress so important that I'll break my budget just to get the one I feel better in? Is it worth it?

Tomorrow is Simonelli and Baccini & Hill 

Wedding Dress shopping jitters!

On Monday I begin the search for the perfect wedding dress!
The wedding is in August so that leaves me plenty of time to find a dress and get it made or altered. I've got like 8 months to get this ready and this will be the next most expensive thing to buy after paying for the reception. But I haven't started on flowers or photography yet. 

I am looking forward to going but I dislike the idea of being treated like a piece of flesh. I've heard horror stories already from other Brides-to-Be about how they have to strip in front of the shop assistants and they rush them from dress to dress. Too bad if you have body issues!

I've also heard about bitchy sales girls especially at the designer couture shops. I guess they figure you're not going to buy anything anyway so why treat you like
you might.  I know what it's like to work in sales and be as nice as pie and do everything the customer wants and then not even gain a sale from it. It's annoying, especially when I the item the customer asked for dumped elsewhere.

Another thing, most girls dream of the one dress. Or they've had a picture in their head since forever about what they want it to look like. I was never that kid. I guess I just never thought it would happen to me so I didn't have those fantasies as a kid/adult. I'm a dreamer sure - but I dreamt about being a rock star not a blushing bride.

That's not to say that I haven't been thinking about it since becoming engaged. I have been obsessed with wedding magazine and offbeat bride for about 6 months so I have ideas. I just don't know what I want.

Right now I just want anything that will look good on me. So I'm putting my game face on and I'm prepared to make myself a piece of meat to these Wedding Vendors. And I'm finding a dress in two days. I will find the one!

 My Pinterest site where I've pinned some beautiful wedding dresses

Twilight Saga - Breaking Dawn Part 1

I'll be honest, I am a fan. I've read all the books, I own the soundtracks. I have many, many posters and other bits of Twilight memorabilia in my study that I've saved from work. In fact I was known by my Sony reps for wanting this stuff, one rep saved me an awesome poster - I'm only 5'2 and this thing eclipses me (get it).
I've seen all the movies, I know how bad they can be. It's not about good acting or about making sense (we know vampire babies make no sense). We all know Twilight cannot win an Oscar. It's not happening. Ever. But that's not why we love Twilight. They only way to understand is to read the books or fall in love with a vampire. 

The film opens with the much anticipated wedding. Finally we get to see the happy couple finally be happy and one of the longest wedding kisses on film. The film starts well heading into the honeymoon where the couple finally consummate their love. Twilight has been littered with themes of forbidden love and intense passion, it's the whole point of the books. So when it finally came down to it, the intimacy was short and sweet. Fan's didn't get the pay off they wanted all for the sake of keeping it PG-13. But saying that it was tastefully done with only a little bit of side boob (always important). And then nothing for awhile. The film takes a turn down the boring side as we watch Edward distract Bella with exciting, on-the-edge-of-your-seat, nail-biting games of chess. Yeah. Chess.

                                           Breaking dawn reference alert!
 
I was really impressed with the acting quality of this film. Kristen Stewart mumbled a lot less, in fact she seemed a lot happier in this one (maybe because it's almost over). Rob Pattison was solid and I have to say Taylor Lautner proved he was more than a 6 pack giving a great performance. I really think Bill Condon has done the best job so far with his cast. None of it was embarrassing to watch, except for the were wolves' pack meeting where the Alpha Sam sounded a lot like James Earl Jones's Mufasa from "The Lion King". 

The movie's plot explores the consequences of Bella and Edward's honeymoon surprise pregnancy and also details Jacob taking his rightful place as an Alpha male in his own small wolf pack. The film sticks very close to the main events in the book, but gladly it splits focus well between wolf pack and vampires. The film condenses chapters in the book dedicated to Jacob and gets it all out in a nice neat way.

Truthfully, breaking dawn is my favorite book, but I skip the Jacob parts because I found him painfully annoying. Taylor Lautner isn't. Taylor doesn't let Jacob wallow in self-pity in this film, he's trying to move on and we can see that with his own wolf pack. Don't get me wrong, he's still impulsive and smarmy with a strong sense of righteousness - but I'd rather watch Jacob than read Jacob.

Bella is a bitch. Let's be honest. She is selfish. She forces Jacob to hang around even though he's still in love with her. All his actions so far have been because of her. It's even because of her that he imprints, her "death" leads him in that direction.  There were some great effects on Kristen, apparently the skeleton effects on her body were all CG and were used to great effect.  Also the birth scene was the highlight of the film, cleverly cutting shots together so we don't see everything but we know from Bella's view what's happening to her.

The film feels very short unlike the other Twilight films. But I think that's because if you think about it, not a lot happens. It's all build up to the birthing scene and to Jacob's imprinting (which was a little cheesy).  Overall Breaking Dawn Part 1 is a good addition to the film franchise, it won't win over any new fans or an Oscar, but it will satisfy fans until part two is released. If your a fan you'll love it no matter what anyone says about it.

3/5

Buffy Fest

So instead of watching any movies this weekend I've decided to revisit Buffy Season 4 instead. Has to be the funniest season of all with the most laugh-out-loud moments. I'm half way through the season, here are a few of the best moments so far:
Spike and Buffy forgetting their hate and planning a wedding.
Spike and Willow's conversation about performance issues in the neck biting area.
Xander confusing mime for heart as mime for boobies in the episode "Hush" and the hilarious slide presentation Giles gives to the scooby gang, complete with stick figure diagrams and blood.

I was a late-comer to Buffy and season 4 was my introduction to it when I was in high school. Truth be told I've probably only watched these episodes a few times, so I still get a surprise while I'm watching.  Back to it, need to get in as much Buffy before I return to work tomorrow!

Behind

I have way too many movies to watch at the moment and not enough time. About a month ago I got a copy of "The Hole" in 3D directed by Joe Dante (Gremlins). When I have a spare two hours I will watch it and write up my review here. I've been super busy at work with set up and take downs of sales. We are getting into the busy end of the year for DVD's and its not going to slow down anytime soon. And since I booked my wedding date last month I haven't done anything wedding-like either. So I'm neglecting everything! Also I've come down with a cold and have been in bed since yesterday afternoon :( And there is no DVD player in my bedroom!
I will get off my ass I promise.

litany against fear

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

- Bene Gesserit quote from "Dune" by Frank Herbert

Rango ...good but long.

It's been a bit of a slow day for me. I enjoy my Sundays off work and they've become a bit of a lazy movie/tv day for me. Mostly I was watching the movies and reno 911 episodes I've taped over the last few weeks(months) and deleting them off my PS3's hard drive. Today I decided to watch Rango while I ate my disgusting can-soup lunch. The soup was no good, but Rango was surprisingly entertaining despite being perhaps 20 minutes too long for me.

Rango follows the generic fish-out-of-water plot of many animated kids movies, similar to "Flushed Away". Rango is a neglected pet lizard that lives a lonely existance. His only friends are a plastic palm tree and a plastic fish toy in the tank that he lives in. He dreams of adventure and gets it when his tank is destroyed after falling out of the back of his owners ute.  He ends up in a small town in the desert called "Dirt" and quickly takes up the persona of a gun-slinging sheriff. After a massive blunder the town's water supply is stolen and bigger conspiracy is at play here. His lies become bigger than him and he begins to believe that he really is a hero.

What I most enjoyed about the film was it's animation style. The film has a very distinct artistic look and is beautifully animated. While I was watching it I couldn't help but compare a few of the characters to Tim Burton's female characters of "Corpse Bride" with their big eyes, heads and thin necks.

There was a good mix of action and comedy, especially scenes with the hawk. The spectacular chase scene was exciting and definitely an inventive take on a western chase sequences. My only gripe is that the story seemed to slow down a little towards the end, especially when Rango and a mis-fit crew journey to return the town's stolen water and again when Rango is exposed and leaves the town. But this is only a small gripe. The script is veryt and has many nods to classic western films and even a Clint Eastwood-esque character thrown in there to complete the homage. Most of these references will probably go over kid's heads, but adults watching will certainly appreciate them. There is a light romance between Rango and a strong female lizard called Beans, that is underplayed, but what makes this plot point perfect is that there is no sickly sweet romance so that young kids will not be put off by it.

Overall it was really good and I see why the director decided to keep all these crazy off-beat characters and crazy plot points in the film even if it did drag the flow of the story. This is released on DVD this week (July 7) which is perfect timing since school holidays start this week. Should keep parents happy and kids occupied.

8/10

Engagement Party

So I had my engagement party on Saturday and it went really well. I was so excited about it and I was so worried that no one would turn up, but everyone did! The venue looked amazing, Cookie had pink and orange balloons delivered and set up in the room. Everyone loved the food but I hardly got to eat any of it - and the cake! OMG the cake - it was a massive white vanilla cake with butter cream icing and the decorations on the cake matched the engagement party invites with little love birds sitting on a branch. It looked very home-made and was yummy. And when you cut into the cake the inside cake was orange and pink marble effect. I only just finished eating the cake today and it was so tasty.

I got my hair and make-up done and wore extremely painful shoes for the first hour of the party. I'm just so amazed at how quickly the party went, but the time it was 4.30 I thought that only an hour had gone by. I'm now a little worried that my wedding day will go so quickly also. I don't want to be too drunk or miss out on eating all the good food.

It was a great day and everything went smoothly and I was all talked out by the end of the night. The party was over by 7pm so we went home and the girls took me out to the cinemas to see "Bridesmaids" which was surprisingly funny and not too overly sentimental. I thoroughly enjoyed it and the organic popcorn which was sweet and salty. YUM.

So the engagement party is this Saturday and I need to organise a cake and balloons for the party decorations. What is a typical engagement cake? I keep finding pictures of cakes covered in love hearts. They are all kind of boring to look at and so girly. I don't get why they are so girly - and the cakes all seem so silly.

I really like the idea of having a bride's cake and groom cake, which is a very American thing to do for a wedding. Two cakes may be over kill - but I like the idea of the man being represented because after all, it's his wedding too. I don't think men like flowers, pearls, ribbons, bows, love hearts and other girly things on their cakes. It wouldn't surprised me if most men didn't even give a shit about the look of their wedding cake.

I think that I want something simple and yummy for a engagement cake since my wedding cake is going to be kinda geeky. I have so many ideas running in my head that I wish that I could just do everything - except it would be the most expensive wedding ever.  I think it's time I came up with a date for the wedding. Getting sick of telling people that I don't know.
Meanwhile I've been reading the latest sookie stackhouse book and I'm loving it. After I read this I'm going to start reading game of thrones ;) god i love that show.

First thing is done - I'm organising my engagement party for the 25th of June. YAY. Now I just have to hurry up and do some invites and then pay for the damn thing. Relatively cheap for an engagement party. I thought I would be spending more. I'm paying for food and drink only. Room hire is included in the fee.

Now I need to draw up some invites. It would probably be easier to just pay someone to do it but I was thinking of just printing some off myself. The wedding invites are what I should be spending my monies on. I was looking at Scandinavian art earlier, and I found these Darla Horses. I really like the patterns and brush work on them so maybe I can slip this into the invites? I really need to use photo shop. And I really need to buy a printer. I think that would help a lot. lol.

Went out to dinner last night with friends and the Cookie man...lol he doesn't like being called that. Went to Mad Mex on chapel st, it was really yummy and then we went to san churros and ate churros. I had the spanish hot chocolate - it was more like chocolate sauce it was so thick! We saw Gracie there, an old friend who we need to catch up with pronto. 

It's mother's day today so I'm going to go see my nonna and mum.  And I finally got my ring back from the jewelers, so I can show my nonna. My engagement ring broke the other week. I had only been wearing it for two weeks and one of the little claws around the diamond just broke off. I was so upset because here I was trying to be so careful with it and it still broke. I was mostly wearing it on a necklace while I was at work because when you do what I do, which 70% of my job is putting out DVD's on a shelf, you kinda have to use your hands. I get scratches and little cuts sometimes from putting my hands in between the shelves to get to stock, and the ring just kept getting knocked around. Also on a side note I realised that for someone who is right-handed, I use my left hand a lot.

So I have my nice shiny engagement ring back and now I can finally show it to all the people who haven't seen it yet. It was getting embarrassing telling people I was engaged but didn't have my ring on me to prove it. Some people kind of think that if you don't have a ring your not engaged. I'm kinda like that, but as long as a rock of some sort was used during your proposal - your engaged.

Anyhoo, might go look at some more wedding porn. thank you offbeat bride. you are my new favorite website :)

Obsessed with being obsessed

I have a confession to make, I am completely obsessed with wedding magazines. I especially love the features on real couple's weddings. Obviously some of them have been professionally planned and all the photos are professional, but I can't help but love their ideas and I want to steal them all! 

It's gotten to the stage though that I've been having wedding dreams, I haven't even set a date yet and I'm already stressing about the ceremony and the reception. I have to admit though that a few people's comments have gotten to me. But after reading my new bible Offbeat bride, I have a new sense of "whatever". I mean who gives a shit if someone else thinks that my ideas are kiddie - its my effing wedding! I will not dress my bridesmaids in olive. I refuse to serve boring wedding cake. I don't want what everyone else wants - I am not everyone else. Although I guess thats what every bride thinks of themselves.
 

Getting engaged has been one of the most exciting things to happen to me of late. I don't remember being this excited ever. I was really excited when I met Kelly Clarkson last year - I mean the build up for that was crazy. At first we didn't know if we were going to meet her, and then it looked like it wasn't happening, and then suddenly we were walking through the back entrance to Rod Laver Arena and standing in line waiting to shake her hand.

This engagement has been much the same. It all started when our close friends decided to get engaged and do the whole married thing. Cookie and I have talked about it in the past, at one stage for about 5 seconds we wanted to do it badly, but after I moved back to Melbourne and we began living together we didn't feel that rush to want to walk down the aisle. We were comfortable functioning in our own special way. We didn't need a piece of paper to say that we were legally a couple - we just knew it. I am not a romantic person either - I would say that I have my moments, who doesn't, but I've never really considered myself to be that girl. The type of girl to settle down and do the whole shin-dig of a wedding.

So when Lydia and Deniz tied the knot in a beautiful elegant, fun wedding that was when I started to think "Well maybe this wouldn't be so bad". I didn't know I wanted a wedding until I was at one! I mean the cake alone was enough to make me re-think all my pre-conceptions of boring weddings. Look I haven't been to may weddings, singing at them with a choir in primary school doesn't count because I honestly have not much memory to go on, BUT the weddings I have been lucky enough to be invited to have been wonderful.

Maybe it was the cake, the free booze, or the fact that in a few years I'll be approaching 30 (which scares me half to death), I suddenly really really really wanted to get married.

There is a moment in Twilight Eclipe, where Bella expresses to Edward that she wanted to get married - not for the cake, the dress and fab engagement presents - but because it was a way to bound her and Edward together in every way possible. You can't get closer to a person than by marrying them.

So getting back to it, the idea of an engagement was in my head. And I started hint dropping like nobody's business. Turns out that Cookie was receiving the hints loud and clearly and was planning his own surprise. So when Cookie said he wanted to go to the Gold Coast for a holiday it wasn't just to do the theme parks, it was to propose. And I guessed it weeks before hand, but I didn't believe it until he was kneeling on the balcony floor of our hotel room with a tiny ring in a giant box in his hand. I still didn't believe it - and I won't go into detail but I did swear...alot.

So now we are engaged. It's been two months now, I've only worn my ring for about two weeks of that - and most of the time it was securely tied on a necklace. So now the fun part begins. I get to plan two parties. An engagement party and then a wedding. I'm very excited but I have no idea where to begin. Lydia gave me a book called "Offbeat Bride" and I've read it over and seen the website. It's perfect for me because it's totally what I need right now. I need someone to say to me that yes my ideas are good and if you want to have a mario and princess peach cake then go ahead! So thats what I'm doing. I'm going to create a wedding that reflects mine and cookie's taste in the finer things in life. Like video games, music and maybe a few film references thrown in for good measure. It's gonna be fun, it's gonna surprise everyone and maybe I'll remember to blog and share whats going on in the lead up to the wedding. Thank you so much for reading and please share any comments you have below! xoxoxoxoxo ev

Wow its been a year. Need to clear away the cobwebs and dust this blog. Honestly, the last year was one of my worst years. I've had enough - I've reached my limits and I'm sick and tired of fucking stupid people. I should find that t-shirt mark s once made me for christmas - it read "so many stupid people so little time" with a picture of a girl kicking a guy in the nuts. That's so me.

I feel like i'm trying to go back a decade with my music tastes (i know technically its not the start of the new decade till 2011). Maybe because thats when music was exciting to me, I'm finding everything dull again and i've had writers block since 2006. I was watching season 1 of the henry rollins show on dvd earlier today, and it was filmed in 2006 - and i was thinking "shit, that was like 4 years ago. Where have i been?". And I know the answer to that. I've been here, having fun not worrying about worrying and stressing myself out over stuff that just doesn't matter. I'm gonna go back to the way things used to be. Every year is just another step in the right direction. I'm a very ambitious person, and I think that got lost in the past 2 years. I won't sit back and let things happen. I am the only one that can make them happen. I am a very lucky person - i've always somehow had the universe on my side and I've always gotten what I've wanted in life. Somehow I'm gonna get what I want again - i'll steal my luck back if I have to.

so pace the stairs to your apartment:
Taking back sunday - set phasers to stun
As cities burn - our world is grey
phantom planet - california

It finally feels like summer. ick.
39 today - i know it got pretty hot yesterday, very warm outside. Lucky for me i was inside the whole day. Ok well the main reason for this post is to tell everyone that UTADA HIKARU HAS A BRAND NEW ENGLISH SINGLE AND ITS AWESOME. It's very "no-air" if u know what i mean - but without chris brown. Meanwhile, a chris brown duet is probably what utada needs - he's so hot right now. Actually what would be cooler is a rhianna duet - it could be like the brandy vs. monica boy is mine kinda thing. That would be hot - and would probably give utada an automatic no.1 hit. Rhianna is hotter than chris brown right now - she pretty much can do no wrong on the charts. ANYWAY - I know my taste in pop music has totally gone down hill. Lately i've been listening to a few classics, anyone remember ace of base? I think its time for a 90's rivial. It's funny though, music from over 10 years ago i now consider to be classical? Whitetown "your woman" is no mozart. But it was a great one hit wonder none the less.

Okay so i've been getting off topic - Utada's new single is "Come Back to Me" - its a love song pop ballad of course. It's alot different to her previous english singles. More like her japanese songs - those of you who know utada's Exodus album will know how experimental some of her songs were. I think this album will definately be more focused than her last english album. I think the new single is very reflective of whats popular on the charts right now. It does remind me of jordin sparks alittle. This isn't a bad thing, it's utada now doing what she does best. Her vocals are beautiful as always. She even does a little speaking bit in the song - lol. its cute and cheesy. *SIGH* im getting all excited, but utada's last album never even made it to australia. I'm gonna have to hit up some reps at work if i can find out if its on the schedule for this year...

http://www.myspace.com/thisisutada

im gonna go hang out in front of the wii. feels like a good time to do some animal crossing.

WELL

this has been a long time coming. My private place on the net is still here. I'm kinda glad, it's like a little homecoming for me. Blogger has always been the place to get the skinny on me - and i guess im just returning to my roots now. myspace gives me the shits and facebook is full of text and stupid stuff i can't keep up with. I just want to write. not anything fancy. just want to get all these words and thoughts that are stuck in my head out. And im guessing that most of my friends no longer check this, so maybe its finally a "true" space for me. Ah well, i've never tried to be anything but myself on here.

so back to my diary blog - its like im letting the world back in again. Exposing myself once more to you..whoever you may be.

It's almost christmas. I've been working as a dvd co-ordinator since march now. I'm no longer in with the radio crowd. I've just drifted away from that career path and thrown myself into retail once more. I enjoy my work. I love working with different people and I love a challenge. I miss music more. I miss being creative in pro-tools and production and that. I kinda really love it when i get a chance to do a display at work. I get all arts and craftsy again - but all i have to work with is yellow cardboard, black textas and red ink. ahh - i still make one hell of a heroes display. in fact one of my Tinkerbell display came second recently in a contest. I won a disney prize back full of winnie the pooh soft toys. I'm gonna share it with my disney merchandiser - she's great and did most of the work...i've still got a massive tinkerbell hanging thing at work next to my desk. I have to say though - i've made some good friends at my new workplace (10 months new). Courtney is an amazing person to work with - she runs a tight ship. I never thought i'd find an ally in her when i first met her. I thought she was older - not that she looks it - but she was just so serious! I felt like a fraud. I was so scared and lost when i started. It took me a few weeks to find my feet. I'm still discovering things about the place. The shop is so old that there are hidden bathrooms, bordered up staircases and leaky cellings.

I realise now that i haven't disclosed a whole heap of information about where i work. Um, i just don't want weridos annoying me i guess. I just work in the dvd dept for a hi-fi store. thats the gist of it.

I've recently discovered that I am a lazy work-a-holic. I've mentioned this on facebook - but what i mean is that essentially im a lazy person. I am at my best when i am doing nothing. I'm more than happy to stay home all day long and do nothing but waste time reading, watching tv and dvds and playing my rpgs. I enjoy work - there are days when i don't want to go. But there are alot of days when I really want to go to work and accomplish something.

Twilight is my new obsession. Don't read past blogs - cos then you'll know what an obsessive personality i have...but twilight has re-ignited a passion in me that I thought i'd lost. I find myself wanting to write again, to re-tell stories that had been in my head over 7 years ago...and not just fan fiction. I think its more my love for a romance and adventure. Sounds very mills & boon but i promise its not. Maybe what i need to do is take a creative writing course, might help me re-learn grammer and spelling and how to write a correct sentence that doesn't sound like shit. lol

paramore - i caught myself


i might get to work early tomorrow and get a head start with some GH world tour. nothing like a bit of guitar hero in the morning.

i think i've run out of things to say. till next time.

Its funny how happy I am now knowing that this time next week i'll be home in melbourne. No I don't have a job, but we'll see where life takes me for the time being. But just knowing that i'll be home soon makes muswellbrook seem not so bad. So this week will be really busy for me, but positive. I want to leave muswellbrook on a positive note.

I think these 6 months here have really made a difference - I love being independent, although i think having jules here has made it easier for me. I mean i've had someone to look out for me and pull me into line. I think I've improved alot announcing and production wise. I'm being more careful with work, although this week i know i've got alot of work to do but i'm getting lazy. My announcing tonight is terrible, i wouldn't want to use any of tonight in a demo.

hmmmmmm....im excited to be going home. And ya know what, im not worried. Things always have a way of working out and in the end i'll get to where i want to be.

its been awhile since i've posted here.
I've taken more of an interest in writing on the blog i've got going on myspace.
myspace.com/onlyclouds - its very current. Has alot of stuff about me, what i've been doing recently.

I've resigned from my powerfm job - just had enough of it and there are some other things i want to try out and give a go. So right now i'm scared of whats going to happen, but I know that everything will work out fine. As Jim said to me yesterday, Things just have a way of working out.

never say never

Well I never thought i'd get this far into my day and just want to die of boredom. I'm tired, I can feel a headache developing and i have to speak on the wireless in 24 seconds.

Okay crisis over.

Well i got very fired up last night, probably about nothing. I just feel so helpless from this far away - and i hate to say it, but I do feel left out. I don't think I should be left off - or out of something just because i am not there...that and i feel like my opinions and thoughts on some topics will be ignored. I put hard work into everything I've been doing lately and all I want is some acknowledgement for my efforts. Then again, what does everyone want most of all? To be acknowledged, praised, adored and accepted. thats what i want. except the accepted part although Julie thinks that i'm obsessed about other's opinions of me because I am obsessed by clothing brands and trends. I agree with her to a point - but its not one of the things i think of when im getting dressed in the morning.


listen:

Nelly furtado - promiscuous
gnarls barkley - crazy
rouge traders - we're coming home