"Wanted" - Vanessa Carlton

I have wandered far and wide
for something real something to die for
but I have found you and you do not see
all that is me all that is true

I am more than you will see,
I am more than you will need,
I am more than you will see,
more than wanted

as you float the flimsy surface
you should know life lies beneath it
don't pretend you feel what I feel for you
live illusion and i am real

[chorus]

I know, I know you like the way
you feel when I play
I know, I know you don't really
hear what I say
I know, I know you are waiting
for something to raid
I know, I know you wish you could be
more than you say

I have wandered far and wide
for something real something to die for
but I have found you and you do not see
all that is me all that is true and

[chorus]

more than you'll love, more than you'll hate,
more than you'll hold, more than wanted
more than you'll crave, more than you'll cherish,
more than you'll have, more than wanted

All I feel like doing is singing this song, because it holds so much passion..so much pain (not too sound corny). Its sung with such 'gusto'. And I would so love to sing this song to a certain person - not him. the other one. Because its almost how i feel. Well it explains it the best I think. It's funny how I try to avoid using his name on here. As if any of them would be reading this, but my close friends who read this know who I mean. But maybe I should give them different names, a nick name. How about asshole 1 and 2? nah..too much alike. I could name one 'Human Nature gay boy' and the other 'Horndog' but..maybe that's just too obvious. lol..i personally have nothing against these people. And I'm not afraid to bad mouth someone using their real name, eg. Blake for example. An example of that would be today Jon was saying he was wearing a skivvy or a turtle neck. Matt said that only girls wear turtle necks, to which i replied "Oh not all, Blake wears turtle necks...oh-wait.." (a direct refrence to blakes sexuality - which i argue is homosexual - and there is nothing wrong with that. It makes good television - see Queer as Folk).
If you have any nickname suggestions, please send them here: evesygal@kittymail.com

*MUAH*

74 minute r&b mix - OHHHH YEAH!

25th of August 2001, an entourage of 9 people boarded a small jet plane - They never were seen alive again. Aaliyah was one of them. So I'd like to take a moment to remember the souls of the nine who died in that fateful plane crash. And a moment to remember Aaliyah for who she was to the music industry and to her fans. And to her future, that almost was.

Well after that sad intro, hello everyone and how ya'all doing?!
Its been awhile...two weeks maybe? I haven't written anything forawhile, i've been busy reading. Lots of work due in the next few weeks, so i'll be knee deep in paper work..and i'll probably be really pissed off with a certain printer of mine that doesn;t seem to want to work.
And geocities is being a bitch. I have some nice new pictures i'd like to put up for the crappy make-shift layout i have. All aaliyah pictures of course.

I honestly don't have alot of say right now, mainly cos nothing has happened of late. Oh congrats to lisa getting her P's :)
Yea..and congrats to me..cos i've been on the freeway driving four times :) Yes..i'm young and dangerous in a car. Watch out pedestrians cos i'm driving now.

Today has been a stoopid day, i have been busy all day. And its a sunday. I did some work..some reading, didn't get to finish it though, i walked the dog..to the local video store of course. And i was forced to vac the car and wash it. grr. I have vaucume cleaners more than anything, i just want to smash the damn things when i see them. But the one at home i have bashed around a bit...i'm normally pissed off when forced to do housework. I hate it. i do i do i do. its a bitch.

anyhoo..i'm gonna finish off my e-mails. write late

listen:
James dean - daniel beddingfield
Make yourself - Incubus mtv unplugged version
Get free - the vines
My neck my back - Khia (dirty, dirty, dirty lyrics)
Sing - Travis

*muah*

time: 9.38am
about to go to anthropology.
i just joined the justincase e-team. they rock.

i need to waste 15 minutes, so i came on here. I was photocopying before. All that radiation can't be good for the eyes.
It was raining cats and dogs this morning, i got drenched. So did my hair. grr. I feel like sleeping..oh wait, i'm going to anthropology...i'll get my chance to catch up on some Z's.

listen: ministry of sound 2002 annual - is excellent. It'll have you dancing and grooving..and its damn good.
I actually made some very stupid spelling error befoer. I must be tired, i can hardly type this morning,.
its another late night for me today. I'll be at uni till around 6ish. then go home..

everyoned needs to check their tv guides. I heard that dark angel is starting this week. on thursday nite @ 9:30 i believe. YAY.
I'm thinking i will actually go to uni on thursday. i should go to the linguistics lecture since i missed yesterdays. and i probably missed out on some tutorial sheets too..so. i need those. I'm kinda hungry right now. Yesterday in cinema, in the screening of 'Manhunter' i was starving..and my tummy was blubbing away..it was saying 'feeed me..feeeeeeed me FEEED ME!' in a tiny meanicing voice. While this morning my hair was saying, 'Cut me..cut meee..CUT ME!'
I think i am in an extremely weird mood this morning. and i'm slowly falling asleep. which is bad! cos anthroplogy were supposed to be watching a video or sumthing...maybe i'll get the nearest person to slap me. that should do the trick.

thought for the day: bright pink nails aren't tacky looking are they?

time: 9:05 am
mood: amused
listen: only to the music playing inside my head

Slang words are quiet funny. Especially English slang. And i mean, from england.
See..i saw bend it like beckham last saturday..and they used this word to say that the blonde chick was pissed off. 'Strop' it was. So i scoured the net for this word, and its proper meaning. Strop - is a noun. It stands for bad mood, or fury. Stroppy, the adjective, is for bad temper. So you could say, 'You're in a strop with me' and a person could reply with, 'No i'm not in a strop with you!'
So next time u hear that word. You'll all know what it means. I hope i have enlightened you all. :)

At the moe i'm reading the script for american pie. Which actually was orginally called 'Great Falls'. I think that was supposed to be the name of the high school. The script is extremely funny.

time: 9.21 am
i'd better get my ass off to class. I need to do some readings before then. I'll write more later

*muah*
www.geocities.com/evesygal - go and sign my guestbook(s) NOW!

Time: 7:50am Monday morning
mood: Extremly tired
listening: colour blind by counting crows, and Oxygen by David Franj

i'm in a slow mood. Cos i only woke up 45 mins ago. But i can't sleep, because all my dreams are of Lord of the rings.
I have watched that movie, so many times now. And i'm not sick of it at all. And last night on sbs there was..a documentry on J.R.R Tolkien..so of course i had to watch that. It was interesting, considering most hippies in america took to his lord of the rings books like a fly to sticky syrup. I never thought his books were hippish, because there's no sex (in fact there are hardly any female charaters), and no drug use. I guess because middle earth is a reflection on society then.

I have a lingusticis assignement to do..grr. of course they assigned it on the day i decided not to turn up to. So i need to look up those slang words today. Im thinking i'll just watch episodes of dark angel and buffy. Ya know..dark angel has the whole slang thing..with the boo..and the talking about ur self..the whole original cindy thing. LOL.
i might do that now. And the osborne's are not on TV tonite..channel ten thought that its new drama series deserves a whole two hour time slot. And as apart of channel ten's niche demographic (16-36) I would rather watch ozzy osborne off his head and saying weird shit..instead of white collar blue. lol..great name for a show though.
So my monday night is ruined. I want alias & dark angel back. That mutant X show just doesn't do it for me. well...the guys in the show do it for me. LOL.

*nite nite*

GOODBYEEEEE...NICE TO KNOW YOUUUUUU!
I haven't felt the way I feel today
its so hard for me to specify
I'M begining to notice how much this feels like a waking limb
PINS AND NEEDLES
NICE TO KNOW YOU!
GOOOODBYEEEE..nice to know you..

hehe. Incubus kick ass. Go download the mtv unplugged vids...its good.

excuse me while i take 20 minutes to write an e-mail....

*TWENTY MINUTES LATER*

WHEN U HOLD MY HAND YOU HOLD MY HEART
BUT LATELY WE'VE BEEN DRIFTING APART
...i can't remember the rest of the words. hmm.

YOU CAN'T BE ME I'M A ROCKSTAR

I'm having trouble breathing, since you walked in.

We've been on the run driving in the sun looking out for number one..

Suddenly the sky is falling, could it be too late for me?

I don't want you to feel sorry for me - you never gave us a chance to be

I hate to love to love to hate you - but there's no end for me in sight

I am no solution to the sound of this pollution in me..

How long must you wait for it?

So would I be out of line If I said..I miss you.

*lots of lines from songs - recent songs of course. If u can guess them all..i will send you something cute. Its just to test how many ppl have actually read my blog..lol. But if no one bothers..well i guess there's my answer!*

Desperately

Theres something about the way you looked at me
made me think for a moment that maybe we were meant to be
Living lives seperately
and its strange cause things change but not me wanting you
so desperately

I cannot ignore it
I keep giving in but i should know better
but theres something about the way you looked at me
and its strange cause things change but not me wanting you
so desperately..

I'm in a singing mood tonight. .I feel like writing something, like grabbing a guitar and playing a few chords.
I've been reading the manga translations of sailormoon. Its better than the tv series..which fucked up the whole story. anyhoo. I don't have anything to write. I think i'm more comfortable writing the old fashioned way. Ya know..pen and paper. There's something more poetic when u put words to paper. Computers just making everything so fucking impersonal and formal.

I had my first driving lesson today. Lets just say, i need practise. But overall, it was a good effort. But damn, those lil indicators are tricky to use. But my first day driving was good. I had a great time :)

Here is parts of a song i wrote not that long ago:
{You}
Its been a long time since i saw your face
And after it all - i've told myself
I'm over you
But I lied and told half truths
the sight of you makes me weak with sadness
I don't know myself beacause of your face
you walked into that room
you proceeded past my presence
I am nothing - not even a friend to you
Its always been that way with you - your always surrounded -
you have your love and I have my friends.

Its not like I need reassuring
I am assured that your not worth my time
But I can't help but feel
Sadness is all I am when your around

You don't treat me like you once did
Just someone who deserves to be ignored
Hey lets talk about it here, I never said what I should have to you
I left my feelings out
and you proceeded to trample all over them

Hey I don't need this
You - you used to make me want to die
I'm not welcome anymore
because you led me on
you hurt me
But i know better now

I almost feel sorry for her
what she has - she could do better
But if you were to leave her
I still wouldn't go for you
cos all i feel is sadness
everytime your around.

You like? That's it. I should do something with it. I kinda like that one. That song was written at a time when i was so sad and depressed with myself. I just felt so lonely and sad. And sad for someone, because you know what they say "You don't know what you've got till its gone" and I hope..he feels that way right now.

OK..top 5ive songs for the moement:
5. Beyonce - Work it out *cause this damn song gets played a 100 times a day*
4. Faith evans, feat. missy E & freeway? - Burnin' up *damn cool*
3. No doubt - Underneath it all *in my head*
2. Audiovent - Numb
1. Phantom Planet - HEY NOW GIRL
pootie tangin' by 702 is a mad song also.

Top 5 music videos
5. Missy E - One minute man
4. Britney - Boys n.e.r.d remix
3. Paul Oakenfield - Starry eyed surprise*Fluff*
2. Phantom Planet - California
1. Weezer - keep fishin' *MUPPETS RULE!*

*MUAH*

Loving you like i never have before
needing you just to open up the door
begging you might somehow turn the tides
and tell me too, i gotta get this off my mind
I never thought id be speaking these words
i never thought i need to say
another day lonely is more than i can take
Won't you save me
Savings what i need
I just wanna be by your side
won't you save me
i don't wanna be
just drifting through the sea of life

won't you
listen please
baby don't walk out that door
I'm on my knees
your all i'm living for
I never thought I'd be speaking these words
heaven thought I'd find a way
Another day lonley is more than i can take

Won't you save me
Savings what i need
I just wanna be by your side
won't you save me
i don't wanna be
just drifting through the sea of life

suddenly the sky is falling
could it be too late for me
well if i never said i'm sorry
then i'm wrong, yes i'm wrong
then i hear my spirit calling
wondering if your longing for me
then i know that i can't live without her/him

Won't you save me
Savings what i need
I just wanna be by your side
won't you save me
i don't wanna be
just drifting through the sea of life

won't you save me...won't you save me..

Save me - hanson

funny how life deals you out the good and the bad. the stupid mistakes we make, the regrets we have to suffer and live with.
I've realised that i'm not proud of some of the things i've said or done in the past. But i don't regret it all. No, i regret very little. But i am regretting my past decisions right now. That maybe things would of been different if i did things my way, if i didn't listen to other people, if i just did what i wanted to do in the first place and not hesitate in my decision making.
Life sucks. Its true. Its a shitty excuse for it all..and i'm sure i could go on and write 500 words on exactly why it sucks, but that would probably not even justify it in my mind. It wouldn't be enough just to write why it sucks, because to me..it is more emotion based..if anyone can get my drift.
I wish i was a lot of things that i'm not. I guess that's regretting too. wishing you had other qualities than the ones who were given when u formed your personality. I guess i shouldn't beat myself up over it. I am who I am. theres no changing that, just improving the way i live and behave around others.
I don't know where i went wrong. I've tried to map it out in my mind, where my confidence failed me. Over the years, i can see how i used to be, and how i am now.
I am too trusting of some people. I will share everything about myself if someone will let me. But even with those who know me best, don;t realise that behind the sarcastic comments, the is a real seriousness behind it all. I mean almost every word i say. I am honest, too honest. And sometimes i don't realise the harshness of my comments till much later.
Basically, to get the the point of all this scatty rambling, is..i regret it. I regret the decision i made - which has effected my whole life and completely changed my goals and direction in life. I used to feel like i knew what i was doing, i felt safe knowing my future. Now i can't see whats gonna happen in the future, i can't see myself doing what i used to think i wanted.
Life sucks.

In My Place - Coldplay
In my place
In my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah

I was lost
I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost, oh yeah

Yeah, how long must you wait for it?
Yeah, how long must you pay for it?
Yeah, how long must you wait for it?

I was scared
I was scared
Tired and underprepared
But I wait for it

If you go
If you go
Leave me down here on my own
And I wait for you

Yeah, how long must you wait for it?
Yeah, how long must you pay for it?
Yeah, how long must you wait for it?

Please, please, please
Come back and sing to me, to me, me
Come on and sing it out, out, out
Come on and sing it out to me, yeah
Come back and sing it

In my place
In my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
And I was lost, oh yeah
Oh yeah

Spin - Lifehouse
Why would I chase your shadow all my life
And be afraid of my own?
I'd rather be with you
I'd rather not know
Where I'll be than be alone and convinced that I know

When the world keeps spinning around
My world's upside down and I wouldn't change a thing
I've got nothing else to lose
I lost it all when I found you and I wouldn't change thing
No, you and I wouldn't change a thing

Everything I know has let me down
So I will just let go
Let you turn me inside out
'Cause I know I'm not sure
About anything but you wouldn't have it any other way

When the world keeps spinning around
My world's upside down and I wouldn't change a thing
I've got nothing else to lose
I lost it all when I found you and I wouldn't change thing
No, you and I wouldn't change a thing

Spinning
Turning
Watching
Burning
All my life has found it's meaning
Walking
Crawling
Climbing
Falling
All my life has found it's meaning

You and I wouldn't change a thing
No, you and I wouldn't change a thing

When the world keeps spinning around
My world's upside down and I wouldn't change a thing
I've got nothing else to lose
I lost it all when I found you and I wouldn't change thing
No, you and I wouldn't change a thing
No, you and I wouldn't change a thing

American Girls - Counting Crows
She comes out on Fridays every time
Stands out in a line
I could have been anyone she'd seen
She waits another week to fall apart
She couldn’t make another day
I wish it was anyone but me
I could have been anyone you see
She had something breakable just under her skin

American girls are weather and noise
Playing the changes for all of the boys
Holding a candle right up to my hands
Making me feel so incredible

She comes out of closets every night
But then she locks herself away
Where she could keep everything from me
I could have been anyone you see
She’s nothing but porcelain underneath her skin

American girls are weather and noise
Playing the changes for all of the boys
Holding a candle right up to my hand
Making me feel so incredible

Little shiver shaking me everyday
But I could get this same thing anywhere
So if she goes away
Well, it's alright and I'm ok
Hey, she said come back again tonight
And I said, I might, I might, I might
She said, well that's alright
If it's alright, it's alright with you
If it's alright, if it's alright with me

I waited for an hour last Friday night
She never came around
She took almost everything from me
I’m going through my closets
Trying on her clothes, almost everyday
I could have been anyone you see
I wish it was anyone but me
Nothing but pills and ashes under my skin

American girls, oh
American girls
American girls
Oh, oh, oh, oh

American girls, oh
American girls
American girls
Oh, oh, oh, oh

You made me cry
You made me cry
You made me cry
Yeah, you made me cry
You made me cry
Hey, Miss American Girl
Oh, oh, oh, yeah

Running Away - Hoobastank
I don't want you to give it all up
And leave your own life collecting dust
And I don't want you to feel sorry for me
You never gave us a chance to be
And I don't need you to be by my side
To tell me that everything's alright
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

'Cause I did enough to show you
That I was willing to give and sacrifice
And I was the one who was lifting you up
When you thought your life had had enough
And when I get close you turn away
There's nothing that I can do or say
So now I need you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

Is it me?
Is it you?
Nothing that I can do
To make you change your mind
Is it me?
Is it you?
Nothing that I can do
Is it a waste of time?

Is it me?
Is it you?
Nothing that I can do
To make you change your mind, no

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
(What is it I have to say?)
Why are you running away?
(To make you admit you're afraid?)
Why are you running away?

Beautiful Addiction
AudioVent
Change the bag
This IV's draining
And I'm afraid
I need another taste to keep me high
Inebriated
Broken, jaded
Still I need more of you inside
The pain you deal just kills me better
The pain is all that keeps me alive

You don't need your words
To sound like this
I am the hell that saved you
Now, all of your time
Is wasted through
I am the hell that saved you

Maybe it's manipulation
Who's to say?
And maybe I'm a fool
But it's my life
I hate to love to love to hate you
But there's no end for me in sight
So I'll be hooked on hating you
While you continue to suck me dry

You don't need your words
To sound like this
I am the hell that saved you
Now, all of your time
Is wasted through
I am the hell that saved you

You're just too beautiful
Another fool am I
You want me on my knees
You're just to beautiful
Another fool am I
You've got me down on my knees

You don't need your words
To sound like this
I am the hell that saved you
Now, all of your time
Is wasted through
I am the hell that saved you
That saved you

I Miss You
Incubus
To see you when I wake up, is a gift I didn't think could be real
To know that you feel the same, as I do, is a Three-fold utopian dream
You do something to me
That I can't explain
So would I be out of line, If I said
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on, the empty pillow next to mine
You have only been gone ten days, but already I am wasting away
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon
But I need you to know, that I care
And I miss you

Only One
Lifehouse
She's got a pretty smile
it covers up the poison that she hides
She walks around in circles in my head
waiting for a Chance to break me a chance to take me down
now i see this burden you gave me is too much to
Carry too much to bury inside
I guess you're the only one that nobody changes
I guess you're the only one left standing when everything else goes down
You're still the only one, you're still the only one

It's all shallow and all so appealing
I'm up to my ankles and i'm drowning
Anyway in a sea of sarcastic faces familiar places where everything looks
Quite the same here it's all confusingly amusing bitter and tainted
The picture you painted to me
I guess you're the only one that nobody changes
I guess you're the only one left standing when everything else goes down
you're still the only one
Who will never change faces
I guess you're the only one left standing
When everything else goes down

Just 'cause it's all in your head
Doesn't mean it has to be in mine don't believe what you said
still can't get it out of my mind
I've tried to find myself in approval
I've already been there already done that it got me nowhere
It brought me nothing but a good place to hide in no one to confide in now
I guess you're the only one that nobody changes
I guess you're the only one that will never change faces
I guess you're the only one

Here Is Gone
Goo Goo Dolls
You and I got somethin
But it's all and then it's nuthin to me, yeah
And I got my defenses
When it comes through your intentions for me, yeah
And we wake up in the breakdown
With the things we never thought we could be, yeah

I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

I am no solution
To the sound of this pollution in me, yeah
And I was not the answer
So forget you ever thought it was me, yeah

I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

And I dont need the fallout
Of all the past that's in between us
And I'm not holding on
And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling

I know it's out there
I know it's out there
And I can feel you falling

I know it's out there
I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone, yeah

Paradise
Vanessa Carlton
once upon a year gone by
she saw herself give in
every time she closed her eyes
she saw what could have been
well nothing hurts and nothing bleeds
when covers tucked in tight
funny when the bottom drops
how she forgets to fight... to fight

and it's one more day in paradise
one more day in paradise

as darkness quickly steals the light
that shined within her eyes
she slowly swallows all her fear
and soothes her mind with lies
well all she wants and all she needs
are reasons to survive
a day in which the sun will take
her artificial light... her light

and it's one more day in paradise
one more day in paradise
it's one more day in paradise
one last chance to feel alright... alright

don't pretend to hold it in just let it out
don't pretend to hold it in just push it out
don't you try to hold it in just let it out and
don't you try to hold it in you hold it in

[chorus]

once upon a year gone by
she saw herself give in
every time she closed her eyes
she saw what could have been

Catapult
Counting Crows
All of the sudden she disappears
just yesterday she was here
somebody tell me if I am sleeping
someone should be with me here
(cause I don't wanna be alone)

I wanna be the knife that cuts into my hand
and I wanna be scattered from here in this catapult
What a big baby won't somebody save me please
You won't find nobody home

all of these quiet battered voices
wait for the hunger to come
we got little revolvers and stupid choices
and no one to say when we're done
(Well I don't wanna bring you down)

I wanna be the light that burns out your eyes
`cause I know there's little things about me
that would sing in the silence of so much rejection
in every connection I make
I can't find nobody home
I wanna be the last thing you hear when you're falling asleep....

STANDING ON THE EDGE

I'm not asking for much
But I need a little time to try
What it is I want
And is it you this time

I wish that I knew you better
I wish that I knew know myself
I wanted to be forever
But now I see it’s only me

Standing on the edge of the world
Now I don’t want you to catch me
I want you to let me
Stand up here and walk on my own
I can’t learn to love you
If you’re all I know

Saw you waiting there
Across the parking lot
I told you, you never been so cold
You were looking for
All the things you know I’m not
And believe me I’ve tried
I’ve tried, oooh

I thought that I knew you better
Than I knew myself

Standing on the edge of the world
Now I don’t want you to catch me
I want you to let me
Stand up here and walk on my own
I can’t learn to love you
If you’re all I know

Uh-oh, uh-oh
Don’t let it change your mind
Whoa-oh, uh-oh
On and on and on and on....

Standing on the edge of the world
Now I don’t want you to catch me
I want you to let me
Stand up here and walk on my own
I can’t learn to love you
I can’t learn to love you
I can’t learn to love you
If you’re all I know

(Michelle Branch)

MY ASS IS NUMB.

It is so freezing outside. I was waiting to come inside for like 15 minutes - at la trobe, in front of the library there are heaps of tables and shit...all metal stools to sit on. So my ass is numb and my nose is numb cos its so fricken cold. arghh! i'm sure the feeling will return to my ass very soon. hehe. So how are all you fine people this cold and frosty morning?! Did anyone see phantom planet on rove last nite? I taped it :)
Ahh, i have anthropology today. I'm gonna buy a can of coke later though, b4 the lecture, cos i need caffine to keep me awake in the two hour lecture. Because anthropology is just so interesting, i want to be awake for it. lol.

Hotmail is a bitch. It keeps telling me the server is too busy. It won't let me delete all my junk mail. grr. But it would be nice if someone sent me some normal e-mail once in awhile. I only get chain stoopid letters and the occasional news update from the hive.
SEND ME AN E-MAIL evesygal@hotmail.com - no junk, just the good stuff.

I like libraries. not to sound nerdy, but i've always liked them. Maybe because its quiet and everything in a library is free. lol. Maybe it's just all the books and the magazines, like all the mags from the pines library i've ripped up for posters. their just relaxed places. I did get an offer once to train as a new tech librarian or sumthing like that. Because primary schools need staff skilled in infomation technology, and i fit the job description. nah, libraries are great to run a muck in. Cos you can run a muck quietly, and not get kicked out. LOL. like..change all the numbers on the aisle so that when ppl go to find a book, they end up in the wrong aisle. Or put viruses on all the computers, except one. Or follow ppl around the lib, and when u see them reaching for a certain book, beat them to it and borrow it out just to piss them off. Go to the reserve section and mix up all the file boxes, and move the only copies of the cinema studies book to another shelf. See..running a muck, quietly. It can be done!

hmm..its 9am. one hour till anth. I'm debating over wether i should bother coming to uni tomorrow. I only have one class, it'll seem like a waste to come in for it since it's only linguistics. But of course, the thursday uni market is on. And there's always this guy there with good cds, cheapish too. I'm always looking for a bargain cd. i've just ran out of things to say...

I was stained with a role in a day on my own
and as you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown
but i always knew what was right
i just didn't know that i might peel away and ....
and i will never see the sky the same way again
and i will learn to say goodbye to yesterday and I
will never cease to fly...
i will always reach too high cos i've seen twilight
~ * * * ~
Well let me tell you I have seen a monster age of seventeen
Who'll let you in to kick you out and knows what love is "all about"
Hey now girl I see you walking by
And long ago you used to stop and talk now you just wink your eye
and I'm surprised you look all grown up
A champagne glass next to a paper cup
I stopped you just to say it
Hey now girl
Her tongue is black haven't you heard her mutter those three dirty words
For all those foolish boys to hear like a siren bringing ships so near
Hey now girl I see you walking by
And I remember how you used to smile or how hard you used to try
It's in your eyes and I'm in a trance
A winter chill next to a spring romance
I stopped you just to say it
Hey now girl

*MUAH*

time: 11:30 am monday morning
mood: hmm. dunno. But pissed off with record companies for spreading these shit copies of artist songs on the net!
listen: the vines 'get free' & incubus mtv unplugged 'miss you'

Music news, avril lavigne has broken some record in the US..or sumthing like that. Apparently, her album 'let go' keeps doing so damn well that each week theres like..a rise in album sales, and she's like the youngest person that's happened to or sumthing. So must be a good album if more and more ppl are buying it. But i already knew it was a good album.
Hanson has finished recording, their mixing. they'll be done soon. They'll prolly start promo end of this year and release the album early next year. Finally.

me: fuck. monday morning. uni at 3. i have stoopid books to buy and stoopid tutorial times to go find out. grr. uni sucks. 12 more weeks of this?! Faaaaaaaaakkk
And i swear..i'm gonna burn msn. cos its such a bitch.

ARGHH!!
Time: 2:13pm sunday arvo
mood: crap but improving
listen: avril, Tomorrow

rollingstone.com has some great features on avril. and if u have cable net..make sure u watch the videos cos its all good. Unfortunately my dial-up net connection is shithouse, so when i watch the avril videos it keeps rebuffering every 30 seconds.

I have been sick for the past few days. Since wednesday. I predicted that I would be worse by the weekend, but actually, i got sick wednesday - and it hit me like a bus. Amd wednesday was..freezing that night. Lucky me got to wait for almost 40 minutes for my dad to pick me up from heidelberg, so i was sick with a high temp, and freezing my ass off. My highest temp so far now, is 39.0 - go me! i didn't even feel that bad. And I was sick just b4 the semester exams..so.hopefully this won't be a reocurring thing.

Anyhoo..me hungry...bye byesss *MUAH* -oops..sorri..i'm sick. I don't wanna pass the germs. hehe. snoogens.

howdy partners!

I got 80% dateable on the new test at thespark.com
Hmm..if that's so..then howcome i can't get a guy? lol.

I don't have much to contribute today. I have a lecture in half an hour..and a four hour break after that. Thank god i brought a book with me...otherwise i'd be bored out of my brains for the whole day. And I don't finish till 6pm. It sucks to be me.
Oh..and i've decided to get creative with my webpage. Its gonna look..a little different. Ok..not that different, just..sailormoon different. Funny though..i didn't even finish the last layout. Nah..this time its gonna be flashy! It'll be flambouant! It will be glam and rock! It will have FRAMES! wow. my talent..my skill. And i'm sure that one day i'll learn html. But in the next few months..There will probably be a few more site changes..just cos..it gets boring afterawhile. and i'm thinking of starting another blog. But a group blog. So if anyone is interested in that idea..buzz me. evesygal@yahoo.com or the hotmail addy. I dun care. I just don't want shit in my inbox.

I should get off this computer..i've used it for an hour already. damn time limits.

anyhoo. BUFFY FINALE last nite. Season final..not series final. Do not confuse the two. Well..they say there's so far one last season of buffy left. But..the creator of the show..joss whedon..has hinted, that it could go on without buffy. Maybe there is a future for Dawn slaying vampires? who knows. But i know that whateva that guy writes..it'll be good.
I should go check my tutorial time for today. might do that now since i have some spare time.

I'll check ya'all later! woohoo.
*MUAH*

Just a quickie! I'm about to leave for my first day bak at uni. And this damn internet is taking its sweet mutha fuking time.
See..i felt like blogging 20 mins ago...and now i have to leave in 15 mins...so..damn net wasted my time loading the damn page!
arghh!!!

OK...so TOP 5 songs (i like this top 5 stuff..its fun)
5. Peeches - The stranglers
4. The Energy - Audiovent
3. N.E.R.D - dirty girl
2. Pretty Baby - Vanessa Carlton
1. Phantom Planet - Hey Now Girl

That's it from me...au revoir!

Track 8 : Anything But Ordinary
Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rahter be anything but ordinary please.

Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident turbulent suculent
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh my self to sleep
It's my lullaby

Is it enough?
Is it enough?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

That was the first Avril song I heard. It was recommended to me by Alistair. So all credit goes to him for enlightening me with avril's music. Its a good song, very catchy. And the lyrics are very honest I think. Thats what i like about these singer/songwriters. The music is so honest and emotional. OK..well maybe not always honest these days. At least these singer/songwriters are in a league of their own..i don't think anyone could say that britney spears music is honest. nah uh.

Back to Uni next week. NOOOOOOO. I don't wanna go back there. Is it possible to ever like what your doing? Uni just seems like a hassel at the moment. Another thing in my way. The thorn in my side. School is school.. any place where you learn is a bitch. But you could debate the learning thing. Maybe my head is so full of useless stuff that it refuses to learn any more. I'm a stubborn cookie.
I wish that I was motivated...damn..like that'll ever happen.

Yeah this whole world needs an Anthem
And I hope that everyone will sing along
-phantom planet 'anthem'

Sailormoon snes games rock! You should all download them..i have found a great site which has a far few of them. But I'm a little stuck on the sailor mercury part of the rpg game. Would you believe that i fought an enemy for over 15 long minutes. I almost fell asleep at the computer killing this monster was taking so long..in the end, i killed sailor mercury. oops.
And the harry potter game rocks! Lots of fun. I have a demo version..and now i'm itching to get the actual copy of it. Meanwhile..final fantasy 10 is supposed to be excellent.

I'm loving this N.E.R.D project that the neptunes are doing. It's absoultely mad. Some good funk,rap, hip-hop with a little edgy guitar and beats stuff going on. Very tasty. top shit..ya know. Makes ya wanna boogie. Fave songs, Run for the Sun, Brain, things are getting better and dirty girl. This is the kind of music i could get creative to. Ya know...create some backing tracks..in neptune style. If i'm influenced by any music at the moe..its neptunes and missy E.

TOP FIVE things for me get bored to
1. Sailormoon games that take forever to kill monsters.
2. Pride and predjuice - making of (its only about 20 mins sumthing long..and i keep falling asleep during it).
3. Internet is BORING AS HELL...that makes me wonder if hell really is boring.
4. TV
5. Blog. I'm bored. GREAT.

DVD'S - Pride and Predjuice - six hours of MR. DARCY & Toy story 2
tomorrow..tekken two video games..and jay and slient bob!

Now go listen to some phantom planet and it'll make you feel like..the world isn't so bad after all.
*muah* make me go away - www.geocities.com/evesygal

SORRY its been sooo long! Well..not that long..but it seems like it.
SO lately i've beeen doing diddly squatt. Literally. BUT today I had an excellent day, I got up and watched Pride and Predjudice on DVD. It was fantastic. almost 6 hours of good old BBC TV. Colin Firth is my new golden god. I loved the TV series..and now on DVD..even better. I can like..freeze frame it on Mr. Darcy. Yes..quoting lines from pride and predjuidce is my new fave thing. "Mr. Darcy!" "Miss Bennett!" LOL
Or my personal Fave.."INSUFFRIABLE MAN!"

OK..well *sings* its monday nite..and i'm feeling alrite...Actually that was a lie..i'm feeling sick. But shh.
I have been downloading songs like a mad rabbit whos addicted to carrots.(my attempts at being humourous - I think i spelt that wrong).
It is soo hard to find the actual album tracks to Vanessa Carlton's album. Excellent album might I add..considering I haven;t heard it all. But I recently kazar has been failing me in the download dept. Cos it doesn't seem to be downloading the songs i want. BUT I have some of the final anime episode of sailor moon that finished downloading yesterday. It's like the sailor stars series, and all in Japanese, so i don't understand a thing. I had my sister with me to help perhaps translate it. I think the only word she understood meant "thankyou" and she got pissed off that all the characters kept saying "thankyou". But now i know why the americans won't dub the whole sailor moon series, because sailor moon spent half the episode nakie. In japan sailor moon, the anime is like a kids show. Same with usa..BUT the manga..thats another story. Its not meant for little kids. So I am seeing sailor moon in a whole new light now..literally. I have some beautiful manag pictures that i wish to turn into a layout for my webpage..which im slowly learing how to use dreamweaver(FINALLY).

HOW GOOD WAS THE TENACIOUS D RAGE SPECIAL. Talk about cool videos..they played some damn good ones. The higlights of the session include, Weezer , White stripes, Foo-fighters, the hives, the strokes, queen, the cars, pavement, and much more. It was excellent. Choice vidoes.
Anyhoo..that night the Gus Van Sant film, 'Only Cow Girls Get the Blues' was on teeeveee. And i missed it. So i'll have to borrow it from the video store, its meant to be a strange film, about a girl(urma therman) who has an oversized thumb.
I've been having fun lately with the sailor moon nes rom games. Their pretty cool...except for the puzzle games, their all in jap and i can't work out what the hell the point of it is..but fun all the same.

EVELYN'S TOP FIVE
5. A1 - Caught In the Middle
4. Ja rule - Down Ass Bitch
3. Vanessa Carlton - Paradise
2. The Hives - Hate to say I told you so
1. N.E.R.D - Rockstar


*MUAH* www.geocities.com/evesygal - visit me pleaseee!!!

TRACK SEVEN: Tomorrow
And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Ya I try to believe you,
But I don't

When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way,
I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

[Chorus:]

I don't know how to feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

It's always been up to you,
It's turning around,
It's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
just do

Gimme a lil time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
not today, today, today, today, today...

[Chorus:]

I don't know how to feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

And I know I'm not ready,
Maybe tomorrow

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Ya I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

Tomorrow it may change

My computer is playing silly buggers on me. If i'm on the net too long it starts to screw up. grrr...anyway..sailormoon image gallery sites are my fave at the moment. I've fallen in love with the original manga. But at the moment i'm finding it hard to find a good sailormoon anime sites - so if anyone knows of one..e-mail me evesygal@yahoo.com

I saw Lord of the rings(for the 3rd time) and Spiderman yesterday. It was greeeat. Two movies, and it was lots of fun distracting my brother with useless information about the actual fellowship of the ring book(which i finished the other day).
Spiderman was cool - i dun care what anyone says, it rocked. And i've been singing that tenacious D/jack black version of the theme song - spiderman. It goes..spiderman, spiderman - does whatever a spider can. etc. woohoo.
At the end of LOTR, they showed the lil 5minute teaser for two towers which is out this christmas. And its damn rocking - lol but if u just wanna see the extra footage, you have to sit thru the whole movie again. LOL.
Ahh..yes well - tomorrow St.Kilda with lisa - then home, then off to phil's house for da lil party thing - which i'll just prolly make a lil apperance at. I don't think i wanna be there if their gonna watch football - boring shit. I'm gonna take my uno cards, i know rach will play that with me. See, i've become the UNO Master in my family - no one can beat me. So its kinda..not challenging playing against my bro and sister anymore.
DARK ANGEL is returning next month. WOOHOO - so finally we shall see the second series, which is more fucked up than the first. I don't know if their making a third series, cos its not on the UPN network in the USA anymore..so..we'll see.

more later..*muah*

Ok..back...my computer is still being naughty. grr.
DO YOU KNOW..that the actor Jack black (high fedelity/shallow hal/evil woman) was in the movie airborne? I was killing myself with laughter..cos it was like..jack black..but younger and in a film which involved rollerblading..Ahh it was just a bad film. But a classic.

http://ladyjupiter.freehosting.net/cgi-bin/i/rom/attkEMN.gif

http://ladyjupiter.freehosting.net/cgi-bin/i/rom/attkSMN.gif

I really don't have much to write...lol..i'm just very bored tonite..so..sorry for the crappy blog. I'm just..stuffing around with these cute lil animations and shit. I found a great site which has very gorgeous lil sprites - like..adopt a sailor moon sprite. its gorgeous.
I will link those good sites on my website soon. I need to fix that links pages. And I have something I want to post on fanfiction.net - so maybe i'll get that done soon. Anyhoo...maybe i'll go annoy some people...i'm in a bored mood.
TOP FIVE THINGS TO DO(at the moe):
5.Blog
4.download more sailormoon pics
3.read two towers
2.watch mullholand drive
1.annoy aubrey (till she gets violent).

TOP FIVE SONGS (at the moe):
5. Sugababes - Just let it go
4. Avril Lavigne - Too much too Ask
3. Vanessa Carlton - Rinse
2. Kelly Osborne - Papa Don't Preach/ Coldplay- In My Place
1. Phantom Planet - Lonely Day

TOP FIVE DVDS:
5. Sleepy Hollow - dir. Tim burton *director's commentry*
4. Oceans Eleven - *commentry wit brad pitt, matt damon and andy garcia.
3. Harry Potter *good to fall asleep to*
2. ...I CAN'T REMEMBER THE OTHER ONES..

TOP FIVE FILMS:
5. High Feidelity
4. Scarface
3. Rear window
2. My Own Private Idaho
1. *IT WOULD BE UNFAIR TO CHOOSE THE BEST FILM I'VE EVER Seen..cos i've seen so many.*

PLAYLIST
phantom planet - THE GUEST *ALBUM*
Hoobastank - are playing at the corner hotel soon. tix 30 bucks.
TENACIOUS D - spiderman
Beyonce knowles - Work it out
Admiral Twin - The unlucky ones
Phantom Planet - California

I need to clean up my winamp playlist - i;m hating it at the moe..its very messy..songs are not in any order at all..their in download order..lol. So its all..a mess. I should maybe start burning songs onto cd..like I have the whole S.O.A.P second album on my computer if anyone wants a copy..
Or if they want the lifehouse..no name face album. Or avril Lavigne's let go. And I have a lot of vanessa carlton live tracks..and half of the sugababes first album. FUCK i need some new music. I need some basement jaxx. I need avalanches. OR some good old fashioned rock! yeah. i'm gonna listen to the strokes. AND The vines. and The hives. LOL..any more "The's"
I heard that a record company was trying to..keep rock alive..so they are like..renaming all their bands to have "The" at the start of it. So instead of nickelback..it would be..The nicklebacks. LOL..i think they had..The Soulflys...that was pretty funny.

Ok..enuff from me...the kumars are about to start on teeevee.

*muah* www.geocities.com/evesygal

I know I wrote before, but I haven't been completely honest. Everything is not fine. In fact I have spent the whole day depressed and angry and sad at myself. I know I seem like the happy hyperactive person - when actually i'm a sarcastic and bitter person. Or if you want to know the truth, i'm not all that. I don't know what I am, i just don't feel like me anymore and its going beyond what i used to know about myself. After sunday night, the thoughts and issues that have been plaguing my mind for the past couple of weeks have finally reached their peak, causing me to remain in a constant low. Lonliness is the thing i've always hated, but i've always been alone. Somehow its become a second nature to me. Because when i was younger I knew what it was like to be by myself. But recently lonliness has been creeping back into my life. OK..the main gist of it is..I know who my real friends are. And i know when i'm not welcomed..or liked as much. I know when people don't say Hi..or avoid my eye contact. I know what awkward situations are like and I know that people like to make things so damned complicated when they don't have to be.
And seeing my friends - hey i know what peer pressure is like - especially when ur two best friends have boyfriends..and you don't. I wish things were different, that i was a social butterfly, that people could instantly like me. But its not like that. I'm not like that.
Yes, i wish i had a guy - someone i could talk to, mess with. Just someone that i know would actually want me and like me. The whole Chris thing..it happened because I let it..and i wanted it to. And I wish i got more out of it instead of the over-confidence and the one night party pash. As lisa told me..there has to be something more than to just be attracted to a person. I guess i've stopped thinking that there's someone out there i'm supposed to meet. Maybe Fate is really a bitch. That if fate wanted it - i wouldn't be feeling like this right now..but no. Fate has decided that i must wait. Maybe i've made the wrong choices in life - i've said no to the wrong people..and let myself fall for others who would never give me the chance to say yes. omg i'm a dick. I need someone like me..who's not afraid to speak their mind. Someone who will challenge my opinions. oR maybe someone the exact opposite to me.
yeah..someone like that. Or maybe just someone who can put up with me...oh god. I'll never find someone like that.