17 PEOPLE!

wow. i'm amazed - i didn't think I could organise anything AND that people would actually want to turn up to it. So tomorrow nite, dinner and movie after ya? It hasn't really hit me or anything yet...im happy...not fully excited. Well im excited about the organising - since organising that lil minature shindig for carlos (and when i say minature - it only involved one bbq, one flashlight and approx six ppl...but was very fun) I've got a case of the organising bug.

Okay, sooo what have i been doing of late...lemmme think. Well the other nite a few ppl came over for boardgames..i missed the first nite at mark's house due to a weird sickness that hit me while preparing prawns for dinner that night...but I had lis, eamon, mark and carlos over for a very lonnnng time..but it was great. I got to make coffee for eamon, played scrabble badly, and went for a walk at 3am. i think it was three am. They didn't leave till 5 something..but i didn't mind. I had fun :)

last nite went to ROBOT BAR with mark, carlos and eamon. It was cooool. Had SAKE! i liked it, made me feel all warm and squishy and ...my hands and wrists just felt reeeeallly cool. They show anime on tuesday nights, and while the anime was patlabor which i find kinda boring and slow...it was still cool. I'd like to go back there again soon. and try some more sake. Then my bro came along, and we all hung out and finally after walking around finally we went somewhere..then me and red's left...then went to macca's drive thru. We criticised the terrible indoor deco and the fake plants, sang a little of the cheat theme song and then finally got my large mc chicken meal (reeeallly good mc chicken burger and the chips were super salty).

today i went to doncaster...my mum is stupid and doesn't know how to use a phone..and takes forever to do things.
I was in the cue store today...and....omg...i saw the nicest skirt and this amazing coat....and they have pants..reallly nice black pants. I love that store...i just wish i had a job or a reason to dress up all nice and business and cue like every day. But first i'd have to find a job that would support my clothes shopping budget, cue is not cheap.

Anyway...i m stuck. i'll post something that i wrote last nite up here later....

Hi ho everybody.

I've been wondering about alot of things lately. Like why is it I always have odd socks? and why is it the world is a sphere..and not an oval shape...or like a rubix cube..cos that would be cool. alittle squishy though.
But no matter all this, I am still here and ready to write a blog for you all. Well my weekend was dull. I baked cookies on sunday, used all my mum's lint chocolate bunnies to make them, now she's pissed. But she likes the cookies anyway.

I have to buy mum a b'day present, i have nooooo idea what to get her. Probably a norah bloody jones cd...but i really don't want to subject the rest of the family to that.
My parents are thinking of going away for the weekend, starting Friday. So they'll probably be gone for the few days of easter, but will most likely be back for my b'day.
I shouldn't go away, too much reading I gotta catch up on. And anyway, i like being home for easter. Mite go visit grandma and my uncle and have easter lunch with them on the sunday.

Im currently researching an essay on male and female representations in bodybuilding. Should be an interesting essay. I mean i could have gone with the Mulvey feminist question but the sport of bodybuilding is reeeeaaaly weird and interesting. I mite have to watch the films pumping iron 1 & 2 - which are interesting documentry films on the subject.

I've been looking at a few websites of late, white ninja which are really weird, dark, yet humourous cartoons. Also i've taken a liking to a few cosplay sites, http://www.acparadise.com/ this one is for female cosplayers - look up the final fantasy series and you'll find some prettttty coool costumes. Most are of Yuna from FFX- but its pretty impressive to see these fans dedication to cosplay. this other site makes anime wedding dresses destiny's ending.

anyway, i got some books to find.

YAY!

two reasons I'm feeling YAY!

1. I just finished an assignment
2. I've almost downloaded all of a utada video. WOOOt. 5 minutes to go!

BUT im not so yay now.
1. because i just got burnt by scolding hot water in the bathroom. My father has a habit of using reeeeeeaaaaly hot water when washing his hands, and we all have a habit of being next to use the taps and get burnt.
2. Because stupid people. ie. My father - are asking me questions which have already been answered by myself BUT he's too fucking dumb and stupid and FUCKING IDIOTIC TO listen THE FIRST FUCKING TIME! arGHGHGEFHDJKGFSEARGHAFJKGAJK.

gfSDHYFHERJKGFEJKGFERKGTJEKFTMKLERGJUIERGFHUG.

i STIll don't feel better after that out burst.
wait.

ARghghghwguejlfrnhkfweftheidfjklwejkflfuck ehfriekfrhweufdefnjkefnsdfmuthafuckersdhfsjfjkhejksfrejsfhdjfhksefsdjkasd
nope.

sfhsdfeayfrgasdfhawjkdhrwkdrjilswjfuckwnhawsjkfhskfjiefrklefseilfhjfhkfjkswankadgsufgejgfrwjdsijdwuhwduckheadhdgahsjfsjkfhasihkasjlasdkillgsdfdhsfeufhksfhsdjfhskkillgjdjagdruawydrwuagfsfhusdfhksdfhsuaujuddfjsdfhasasfkhsdknifeufhysukhuhayihalahdalfhufJKASDLASBLadeuhukhwkadasdhawkwijwuhdfjhfdsfhjssfhshfkiwiBaka!

okay. i think im done.

Im thinking about not doing honours. I was thinking about doing it - but i don't think i want to write a 12,000 word essay. I mean im sure i could write one, and honours would look reeeeaally cool on a resume somewhere, but honestly i think i just want to get on with it. At first - my first year i was having a hard time I just was miserable for most of the year. I totally got all caught up with doing my assignments and all I wanted to do was get out of there and finish this damn course. And then last year things got harder work wise, but things were also looking better. Some how having lisa there kinda balanced things out. And this year, well i don't see lisa much...or any one else other than Theo - which is okay cos me and theo hang at shoppo - we are insider shoppo hangers - and i don't mind looking at guy stuff and we talk about cool shirts and belts and stuff. And theo has another fantastic idea - start a cleaning company. Yeah. he can do the cleaning, i have a deep hatred for anything that requires using a vacuum cleaner. But on the upside if i clean the house tomorrow i'll get 40 bucks.
But getting back on track - this year I finally feel comfortable. Like i know what Im doing, and its great because Im starting to find people i like. And everyone else i know will be there longer than me..and i kinda don't want to miss out on being there for another year. I feel like another year and then I will be ready to get out of there..i don't mind the idea of honours, honestly because i'll get to spend more time doing things i finally like. Im loving my radio subject, im just bummed that i couldn't do more subjects last year...But now im thinking the post-grad thing might be a good idea.
Maybe it is time to move on from latrobe. in 2002 all i wanted was to leave, and now im here im finding it hard to want to. But its been my plan to do this post-grad thing or do jmc academy after i get my BA. so maybe now is the time. I feel like I haven't done enough in my life, and i just want to do as much as I can now. I don't know why now is so important, but I need to get out there now and start experiencing more things. And career wise, fuck the part time job - i'll never get one, i should be thinking about what I want to do and radio is looking pretttty good to me right now. But we'll see. who knows, in a few months i mite hate it. But i doubt that, right now i doubt that. Anyway the post grad is just a year...at swinburn..arghhh...down near our old hang out - glenferrie road. woot. oooh viva. mAYBE i'll apply for honours and post grad..and if i get honours i'll take it..and if i don't i go for the post grad..but if i don't get offered that then i'll do...something else. .....hmmm. Or maybe i should take a year off? work? get some money happening so i can pay for the post grad. and pay off my hecs. I feel like i should keep studying though...i'll look into some other options. see if i can find a music course or something. Im just afraid if i take a year off i'll totally slack off..and i'll forget how to write essays and such. I mean the day when i won't have to ever write an essay will be...the greatest day of my life...but until then i don't wanna slack off too much. anyway. OOh its downloaded...my utada video..that i've been trying to download since sometime last year..........finally.

boogie on down:
Koffee Brown - quickie
Pulp fiction soundtrack - Jungle boogie
Timbland & magoo feat missy E - up jumps the boogie
Eddie Kendricks - boogie down
Kenny loggins - footlose
Irene Cara - Flash dance (what a feeling)

Ninja's and Pirates

i'll finish this tomorrow.

Ok. so here it is. the blog i said i'd write again. But now i don't feel the need to write up the same stuff as yesterday, so this will just be about today and the previous couple of days i suppose.

I've realised that my internet at home is stupid and doesn't refresh blogspot pages.
anyway. i think i've done some thing stupid. I volunteered my services to the la trobe channel 31 tv program. Which is cool. But this means now i have responsibility.
BUT to any of you out there with nothing to do on monday @ 2pm come along to the athenaeum theatre(did i spell that right?) 188 collins street for a darren and brose comedy festival gig. It should be greeaat. and for those of u who like their prey young, i believe a few high schools will be there so come along and check out the show and sum chicks mate. But it'll be full of uni humour and these guys always put on a good show so come along. Im not sure if it'll cost you anything - bring money in case - but probably not. Well i dunno..i mean i know i will be getting in for free.
And i mite as well help them out monday, i mean...i got nuthing better to do.

Meanwhile, i applied for a job yesterday! woot go me. You should see my resume. its damn funky now. Its amazing what a change of font and a few lil lines can do for you!
I've been thinking for awhile now to change this blog skin. I found a great one of beyonce and it even plays music...when i can be bothered i'll change it. But changing requires re-doing the tag board and the comments. Not that its hard, its just annoying. Please TAG my lil board. it's feeling lonely. and please write me some comments. nothing stupid. i don't want to be flooded by annoying useless comments again.

also i'll update my website again soon, i'll change the pictures and buttons around again, i've recently cleaned up the site and my geocities account cos it was full of old pictures and stuff. And i mite put up a few select pictures or something. There haven't been any new pictures for awhile.

I've also been writing again. I've decided maybe its time to get myself motivated and write something about what i know about life. I was thinking of having only two or three characters and creating some kind of relationship between them. But i don't really want some joey-pacey-dawson love triangle thing cos thats been done to death. Also i've been writing lyrics. maybe soon i'll put some up here. Cos i mean that was the original point of this blog to post lyrics and stufff up. My own lyrics - i usually post other people's stuff cos it means something to me at the time.

I was talking to james the other nite. (i think he's avoiding me on the net - like most ppl- or thats just paranoia talking) and he was making his own blog which is v.cool - but he said that i was a blog queen cos i have soooooooo many archives etc. Well basically cos i've been doing this for awhile pretty consistently. Well rite now i've decided to look back on my blog - see what I've written. And im really still as confused about things as i was two years ago.

Nothing has changed. And thats pretty depressing really. Im still single. But im not crushing on two guys as I was back in April 2002. I couldn't remember who the second guy was but now i've figured it out lol.

So much has changed though. How i feel about things. Instead of wanting to be in a relationship - if u read those blogs from 2002 i was pretty interested in those things, i have a lot of blogs/rants about relationships - but right now i choose to be like this. I am single by choice now it seems. And im okay with it. Seriously. I am okay with it. But i guess right now im falling back into that "bUT IT would be nice to kinda have someone.." thinking. But if all i do when im with someone is wish i was somewhere else with someone better than maybe its best not to even bother with these things.
So i shall become a nun and live happily ever after with a cat and eat chocolate for when ever i get 'those' cravings.

If you read blogs from March 2003 you'll see im very much depressed with being by myself. But honestly, I must like the single life..*shruggs* i dunno. its just i don't feel the need, and im glad im like that. That im not one of those people who needs someone constantly for comfort ot reassurance. Maybe this means that i've accepted who i am and who im going to be. Maybe this means im happy with life and where im at right now. and thats not such a bad thing is it?

i just wrote a blog. and now its gone.

fuck it. i'll write it again later.

'I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.'

I feel like I've been wondering around. Lost in my own thoughts for too long. I feel like Im waiting to wake up any moment now and all this will be a dream. The un-satisfying ending, but an ending and a beginning to all of this. I suppose i would feel cheated if I was to wake up and realise everything I'd ever known so far was only a dream. But sometimes I feel like im watching life rather than living it. I've always feared growing up. Getting older. and wasting my life. I think I'm wasting my life right now. This time next year, i don't know where i'll be. I had it all planned out - and then i went to university and my plan changed slightly. Now its changed indefinitely. So now I fear not being able to get a job, now I fear all my dreams have died, now I fear the change that's to come. Some how this litany of fear is comforting. Some how the ideas within it, the thought of it is almost calming like it would be to the fictional bene gesserits. But my world is non-fiction. There are so many realities within realities. One person's lifestyle would seem extreme compared to mine or vice versa.

'To the world you are one person - but to one person you are the world.'
Is this how I used to think it would be like? That I would be stuck here, living this mundane existance. Im confused about a few things at the moment. I read something the other day - about things I already knew about myself, but seeing it written, from another total neutral point of view was alittle scary. Maybe i do need to change my ways. About how i play the game. As i was watching today, 'Love is a game. Easy to start. Hard to finish.'
When i say game - i could be refering to the game of life..etc. depends on how you want to interpret that. I know how you all will anyway. so that was pointless. anyway.


sneaker pimps - walking zero
blondie - heart of glass
de la soul - stakes is high
new order - blue monday
sweetbox - unforgiven
pete murray - please
basement jaxx - get me off


Im drowning in what pity is left for you
here in my heart only darkness surrounds
what i used to believe in was you
Now only i remain
i feel the weight of the world on my shoulders
you've drained me emotionally.
I want to walk on my own
i can do it without you
i know that it'll hurt you
But im too tired to care

Whats happened? to all of us. What happened to the traditional forms of communication? No one writes letters anymore. Letters were personal, usually hand written. And there is no other feeling quite like it when you recieve a letter in the post. Someone out there cared enough to write you a letter, stamp it, then send it. But the traditional methods of communication concerning the letter is beginning to die now that Email has become the most common form of communication on the internet. Its quicker, you don't have to deal with ques at the post office just to buy one stamp and the other person is just one click away from the send button on your screen. But email is one of most annoying things ever invented, because its become a chore. You need to always be checking for junk mail, you get sent these stupid chain-letter emails, and usually viruses and other nasty thingys get sent to your inbox. The only thing Post mail has to worry about is the odd anthrax letter, but that sort of thing usually only happens in America.
But the other point I wish to make is how impersonal emails can be. Okay, i have had the odd occasion where someone sends me an email, and its the most expressive thing and a true insight into the other other person's mind, but usually its the "Hi, how you going" type of email. I can have conversations like those any time. But email has become the way we all communicate with each other now. Its good, because it can reach everyone quickly and it doesn't cost a thing if ur using a public computer and hotmail. So it does have its advatages when organising events and things alike.

My other concern is the lack of telephone conversations. We now use msn, icq, irc, aim etc. We chat sometimes once a day, a few times a week. Most people now have mobile phones, which means you can reach people anywhere, no matter where they are - as long as they have good reception. So we chat on our computers, we chat on our phones using text messages. But what happened to the long phone conversation? The one that went for longer than an hour, where you'd stay up all night just talking about anything and everything. The kind that leaves you feeling afterwards that now you really know a person. And just like mail, getting a phone call from a desired person or from a friend is also one of those little pleasures in life we sometimes take for granted. Speaking now from my own experinces of late, i don't talk on the phone as much as I used to, like back in Highschool i would be on the phone to one of my friends every single night. But since everyone has gone their own ways, I hardly hear from some people unless their on the internet. And sometimes talking to them on the internet is so different to what it would be like if we were to talk in person, that i just choose not to talk to them while on msn or icq. Because the conversation really would go nowhere, like so many I have with alot of people. And I prefer to talk in person to alot of people, because that's how we met, that how we are friends. From the conversations and meetings we've had. Not from the long night chat conversations. I don't meet many people over chat anymore because I got bored of the same old thing, the same typical "getting to know you" conversations that usually start with some horny nerd on the other end wanting to see a picture of myself and asking if i have a bf.
And why would someone in the US want to know if I have a bf? their too far away it shouldn't even concern them (unless it concerns the content of the chat).

Now, we are too lazy to pick up the phone, pick up a pen and paper. Or are we too "busy". What's so important that we can't take just ten minutes, 15 minutes of our time to write a letter or call someone? But it seems we're never too busy to blog or to meet up with people for a couple of drinks or a movie.
This blog is just an example of what free time I have. I have archived blogs from 2001, from when i first began this blog to now. Some even have two - three blogs that they keep up in their free time. I always have time to come online, like i always have time to write in-between classes at uni, during those breaks I could write a letter. And sometimes I did. Back in first year I wrote heaps of letters, but i never sent them. But i have a blog, so now instead of writing letters and telling people how im doing or how i feel - people can just look on this site and get some sort of idea of my going-ons and happenings. So that means basically once people read my blogs, then i see them in person or talk on the phone - every time i mention something they just say 'Yeaah, i read your blog'. Im glad people are reading it, but now i have nothing to say cos you've read it already.
But now instead of calling people, writing emails to people etc, we just look at a person's blog. I admit it, i read blogs. I love blogs and online diaries. I read some frequently, and others less so. But its now got to that stage where all we do is read blogs and diaries online. And now all i do is write these for you. And i don't get any feedback from any of you, so I feel like this is a one-way conversation - and its become a conversation with myself. I used to nag people to read my blog, now i don't have to because this blog is the thing that stands between me and other people. This is what people refer to when they want to know something about me. When they can't be bothered to call me they read my blog instead. Now everyone knows i talk alot, and i probably could talk about myself a whole lot more than I do on here. This is not an accurate report on my life though. Due to censorship reasons, and for the sake of some people, I do not write everything. And it angers me that some people just read this blog, and then don't bother to call me or talk to me when they could get so much more out of me than they could out of this blog. But then again, this blog is me right? what i write here is me? At least some part of me. And i don't like how some people are using blogs as a battle ground for their own hate and insecurities. If there is a problem with someone, fix it. Don't just talk about it. If you really care about the people around you, don't just call them or a be a friend to them when it suits you. Don't just say, 'I do care.' but how? By reading a blog? We all do this, we all have limited our communication by creating these blogs. I admit that i am also at fault by taking the time to read a blog, instead of writing an email.


Lets get a little communication back into our lives, considering we are living in a communication rich age, where the ability to speak to someone is only One phone call away, or even just a text message. Be impersonal if you have to. But it would be nice to see sometimes just one person taking the time out of their 'busy' lives and just say hello. So how come its so hard for us to communicate? How come its so difficult to just be honest and say what you mean and feel? If we have all this technology, if we could call someone at anytime we want to and just have a chat, then how come we can't do it? Is it because we feel no need to? or because we don't want to?


if you have any opinions, or understood the above HUGE paragrahs please leave a comment or write in the tagboard. thanks.

playlist

Johnny Lang - Breakin' Me
Taking Back Sunday - You're so last Summer
Utada Hikaru - Letters
Yellowcard - Way away
Usher - Yeah
DC - so beautiful
Hanson - penny and me (i've been watching the clip of the video Over and Over and Over)

Random thought:
That Zac Hanson is so hot right now.

Idea for a post:

The internet, blogs, and You.

Want to know how im feeling? because reading this saves making a phone call - or bothering to contact me. But im not gonna make it easy on you. The song lyrics below are almost exactly how i felt about half an hour ago. Rite now, i don't feel anything except this numb feeling..........because i no longer care.


How's it going to be - third eye blind

I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore,
Before you take a swing, I wonder what are we fighting for,
When I say out loud, I want to get out of this, I wonder,
Is there anything I'm going to miss, I wonder
How's it going to be, When you don't know me,
How's it going to be, When you're sure I'm not there,
How's it going to be, When there is no one there to talk to,
Between you and me, 'Cause I don't care,
How's it going to be,
How's it going to be,

Where we used to laugh, There's a shouting match,
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch,
A silence I can't ignore,
Like . . The hammock by the doorway we spent time in, Swing empty,
don't see lightning like last fall when it was always about to hit me, I wonder

How's it going to be, When it goes down,
How's it going to be, When you're not around,
How's it going to be, When you find out there was nothing,
Between you and me, 'Cause I don't care,
How's it going to be,

How's it going to be
When you don't know me, any more
And How's it going to be

Want to get myself back in again,
The soft dive of oblivion.
Want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion, oblivion

How's it going to be, When you don't know me, anymore,
How's it going to be,
How's it going to be,
How's it going to be.

I've been asleep all day. well almost all day. Saturday nite I went out with shazz to saratoga. very cool, but tiny place. Then we went to zimmer(?) down st kilda way, which is one funky cooooool as place with lots of comfy couches and nicceee musssic. Didn't get home till 5:30 - then about 5 minute later my brother also arrived home. I stayed up on the couch playing FFX for about an hour, then at 6:45 decided that i should probably sleeeep. Woke up at 8:30 on Sunday. And i was like the walking dead - or waking dead. I had like no sleep but somehow i was awake all of yesterday tilll that nite when we were watching Moulin rouge on tv, then i just closed my eyes for a second and woke up during the end credits. That is stillll one of the most entertaining films i've ever seen.......but i suppose it would have been good if i was awake for the film last nite. After that To die for was on...which is one of my faaaaave films. But i fell asleep through that also and ended up sleep walking to bed at about 3am. So now im still catching up on sleeep...i was lazing around on the couch earlier watching the goodies and i fell asleeeeeeep again. My eyes feel tired...my skin feels tight on my face, and if i was to lie down right now i'd probably sleep some more.
I had KFC yesterday...went all out. I had the buger, the chicken, the graaavy, the chips. it was sooo good. oooh i could go for some fried chickeeen rite now..



playlist:
joss stone - fell in love with a boy
chemical brothers - come with us
sweetbox - unforgiven

Im bored. Entertain me!!!!

I don't finish till 2pm todaay...and its gonna be 38 or something like that degrees....grrr. I like hot weathe..But not when i have to take public transport home. I just spent wayy too much money one books for two of my uni subjects. Well when i finish class i'll meet theo afterwards, we're gonna get our cards updated and then prolly go to shoppo and hang. lol. we're shoppo hangers now...hehe. I do still have a craving for kfc though. I want to start saving money now. But ittsss so hard when you don't have any money to begin with.

I had 52 new emails in my atsroboy email. some of them were interesting. Most were about stupid sailormoon fan fiction shit that i don't care about. Im sure i've ranted on about this before..BUT it really givess me the shits. Im thinking of unscribing to that email list because its just soo fucking annoying. i got class in a few mins. mite go now.
cyaaa

Im trying to recreate the dashboard experience with a copy of a live show that was taped awhile ago - and i downloaded it awhilleee ago. like last year...but its coool. nice and live.
Im excited today. had a good class at uni. And i just looked up a utada hikaru site and her new album will be released in MAY! woot. thats not too far away. the new hanson stuff will be released in April in japan and americaa...dunno about Oz though.
I was at eb today....i stood and stareeed at the FFx-2 games on the shelves for a good minute. Im thinking maybe i should do the trade two ps2 games and only pay 50 bucks..but i dunno what games to trade. I was thinking the bouncer maybe..and something else we don't play often...but we don't have a lot of games anyway..so...i dunno. but its an idea..i would get the game sooner that way. But i have a cunning plan. So cunning you could brush your teeth with it.

Im still reeling from last night. It seems like it happened in a dream now. But i know I was there - my clothes are outside airing - the smell of smoke and beer attached to the fibers. I woke up at 10 am, to my cat who was begging for food and to my dog who was wondering around the house, her paws scratching the floorboards.
I was right, I knew i would have a hard time speaking today. I sung my lungs out last night - like the rest of the crow at the Hi-fi bar. so right now, my attempts at dashboard's "swiss army romance" is terrible. lol.
Im not going to uni today, because yesterday i spoke with my lecturer for radio and i've signed up for wednesday's class, so lucky me gets mondays and tuesday's off. Im still tired, didn't get home till 1am. I stayed up alittle longer sitting on the couch watching 'just for laughs' and some weird show afterwards while eating left over safeway salads and doritos. that might explain why im not hungry now. But i feel like i could sleep again.
I just felt the need to play dashboard songs this morning, since the songs have been swimming in my head all night long. I couldn't go back to sleep before because 'ghost of a good thing' was playing in my head.
The gig last night started at 7:30, the bands b4 them were pretty cool actually. I can't remember the name of the first band but the singer was hot, and Blueline medic played and they were pretty good. My brother will be jealous that i saw them, hehe.
Lisa told me the plan for the night before we got into the venue, while we were eating her KFC chips. Go straight to the merchandise table then straight to side of stage for a good view. So we picked up a teeshirt and some badges each (im now broke, i only have three dollars left in my wallet and that's supposed to get me to uni for the rest of the week), and headed down to the gathering crowd. We met up with Mark and Melissa in the pit, watched teh first band from there and then headed up to the left side of the stage on some stepss which weren't the most comfortable spot, but we had a clear view of the stage. So we watched blueline, then waited a good 40 minutes for dashboard to start. Once the stage went dark, the crowd was just hyped. And chris dashboard walks out onto the stage and plays like first two songs acoustic and the crowd was nuts just singing along. The whole show was just purely amazing. The acoustic songs, they played a cover of Wheatus' 'teenage dirtbag' which wassss coooool! lol i actually like that song now that they played it. They played like two new songsss and they were prettty goooood. I tried to learn the words to a few songs from the new album - but i was stuck only knowing the choruses forn most..lol BUT all the old stuff was great. Chris doesn't even need to sing, the crowd does it for him. He could have a gig of just instrumental stuff and the crowd would do the rest for him.
Actually they played one song, it was really short it wall all instrumental very cool though. The band just kept adding more songs to the set list - so instead of a 11:30 end the show went to about 12 i think. It was very very cool. Just blew me away how amazing Chris is. He has this amazing presence on the stage, and just being apart of that audience last night was amazing. OKay. im over using the word Amazing here - but reallly no word comes close to howwww good dashboard was last night. but one word describes chris dashboard - HOT. yes indeedie. Overalll it was a great night, i wish i could hear dashboard play every night, i wish i could have the dashboard hoodie i like, i wish i could have Chris - and he could write sad songs about me - But right now i wish for some KFC. it may only be 11 am today, but KFC sounds really good right now.
Im so excited about my DC tee shirt - i mite wear it to uni tomorrow. hehee. but after seeing dashboard last nite made me realise i really should go buy one of their records - cos im a bad fan with all my illegal downloads....umm..anyway.
im gonna go find some junk food. KFC. nahhh...i think today im gonna be a lounge lizard and just play some FFX. while listening to dashboard. hehe, yeaaaa.

cyaaaa! *muaaah*

So Beautiful - Dashboard Confessional

I heard that you were home again
But you don't look like you're back to me.
Well, if your focus is changing,
Your gaze is transfixed on the part I cannot see.

You've got your new ties.
I've got my old lies.
You've got your inside line
But you're never happy with what you've got.

Careful now, you're so beautiful
When you've convinced yourself
That no one else is quite as beautiful

I heard that you were living well
But you don't look like you're living to me.
Although the sparkle is gone,
Your smile is in place so that everyone watching will see.

You've got them all convinced,
And I know it so well.
That you have missed your friends
But you can count on them.

Hold it now, you've got everyone convinced
That you're alright.
No one else is quite as wrong with it.

As soon as you've got it you want something else.
It's not the sell that you love, it's yourself.
It's the not price that's gonna cost you.
It's just the weight that's gonna bring you
Down, down, down, down
It's gonna bring you down, down, down, down, down

Hold it now.
You've got everyone convinced that you're alright.
No one else is quite as beautiful.

Careful now, you're so beautiful
When you've convinced yourself
That no one else is quite as beautiful

As soon as you've got it you want something else.
It's not the sell that you love, it's yourself.
It's the not price that's gonna cost you.
It's just the weight that's gonna bring you
Down, down, down, down
It's gonna bring you down, down, down, down, down

Careful now, you're so beautiful
When you've convinced yourself
That no one else is quite as beautiful

As soon as you've got it you want something else.
It's not the sell that you love, it's yourself.
It's the not price that's gonna cost you.
It's just the weight that's gonna bring you
Down, down, down, down
It's gonna bring you down, down, down, down, down

"Never mind the sloppy mess I left on your jacket,
I didn’t mean to rip your heart out "

broken glass
shattered windows
smashed table
splintered chair



playlist:
joy division - love will tear us apart
nelly furtado - try
run dmc - its like that
dashboard - as lovers go
michelle branch - find my way back

now i don't know how i should feel.

I've had such a good day. And I found my self sitting on the bus on the way home just thinking about what to write about today here. Well first off I spent some quality time with lisa in the city, then we met up with steve and made our way over to Federation Square for the channel V Detour thing, and hid inside until it was safe to come out when The Cat Empire started their set. Then we emerged and went to the cool bar cafe type place which had a good view of the stage and had some chips and drinks. Then we saw CHRIS from dashboard - Melissa was like, "Is that him?" And i was like "Ohh yeah it is!"
so we left and got our photo taken...then after that realised how stupid it was that we were finally meeting HIM and all we said was "can we have a photo?" So finally after a bit we went back, he signed my note pad and steve's unopened cigg box (which shall remain un-opened to preserve its value!!!) and then we sat down near by. Finally saw dashboard play at like 5 something, and they only played twp songs! Soo glad im going to the gig on monday....im sooo excited about it.
There was alittle drama today..but it was a great day overall. Im so happy i met chris dashboard - he is like a god/idol. I wish i could write lyrics and songs like his. It was just amazing meeting him, he was really cool. I only wish i had said more...stuff - other than blurting out my "And i really like your music" line. lol.
But i had a great time - rolled on grass with mark - ate chips with lisa (i've seen alot of chips today) - did weird dancing - saw Kim from mlc - and I SAW DASHBOARD. wooooot.

okay that's all from me.

i'll post some lyrics tomorrow or something...ideas im working on or stuff i've got. I've been in a writing mood of late and i'd like some feedback.

playlist:
Howie Day - More you understand
Thrice - Artist in the ambulance
Muse - time is running out

random thought:
orlando? Orlannnndo...orlando. hmmm...

mood:
bored. *looks around the room...*


Where are my comments? they have disappeared. that's weird. mite be something odd....i'll fix it later.
As you can all tell, i am bored. very very bored. I have my Tv back in working order now...but im still bored.
For those who didn't know, my tv decided to break down on Sunday afternoon and wasn't fixed and returned to me till tuesday afternoon. lol and after some confusing conversations with lisa and carlos about taping with a vcr (which you can't do if you don't actually have a tv). But thankfully my tv was back in time for last night's episode of Alias! WOOt.
This morning i finished my game of Kingdom hearts - nice ending - can't wait for the sequel. But the secret ending at the end credits didn't make a whole lotta sense..but damn it looked cool. So im looking forward to the sequel now ;)
Tomorrow afternoon at 4pm - DASHBOARD at Fed square. woot. also 28 days and cat empire will be there...but no one really cares about them....well i reckon it mite be cool to see them but no one else thinks so cos their not interested anyway.

well im so bored. im gonna go watch some homestar runner stufff i guesss....and fix those comments.

Yes I am an Addict.
Im addicted to Final Fantasy. I need to go on some 12 step program, a support group or even rehab to cure my self of this addiction. BUT i can't help it if the characters are soo cool - if the story and plot is exciting - or even if the lead male characters are hot. It's not my fault im addicted. I BLAME the video games stores - damn EB for slowly leading me on with their enticing games and pretty FFX-2 posters in the shop windows. I've been waiting almost a year for the sequel to FFX and finally my wait is almost over. I can't wait to have that game in my hands, the white PS2 game cover, the cd, the PS2 controller in my hand as I play the game i've been anticipating for - I'll be disappointed with the vocals of Jade from sweetbox on the english versions of the jpop songs I've so dearly loved and listened to constantly for the past (approx)6 months. BUT i want so dearly to hear the opening lines, to see the FMV sequences in all their glory - to play the game and have job classes and spheres and TIDUS AND WAKKA in my gaming life again. *sigh* I'll go insane if i don't play this game soon, if i don't purchase myself a copy of it. I could have my brother buy it, but i want to buy it myself - like i did with FFX. It was the best $99.95 dollars i've ever spent (and then six months later it went platnium and only cost $50 - but a six month wait would have been too long). Meanwhile my game of Kingdom hearts is going along nicely. Very close to finishing the game, will take me a while longer i still got some ass to kick - such as the ass of a bad guy from FFVII hehe...now that will be a challenge. Im excited though, i want to start the game again already. ahhh.....maybe i should finish KH off b4 i start thinking about FFX-2....BUT I CAN'T HELP IT. i need to stay away from all EB stores forawhile...they just make me go alittle odd...and i start breathing funny when i see FFX-2 on the shelf and then and then...OH NEVER mind. ITS only just a game - THATS What your all thinking. YOu all think im immature, i need to grow up, get over this unhealthy obsession of sitting in front of the PS2. Well i don't play PS2 often, if i was on it 24/7 i would have finished all my games by now...and im half way in most of them. And anyway, PS2 is usually better than watching TV considering the shows that are on offer by the stations at the moment.
My personal favourite reality tv show is that Paradise Hotel - exciting stuff. But seriously....there is too much shit on tv at the moment. the worst is 'WHO wants to marry my dad?' but wait...i think that the hot house is pretty crappp too. Meanwhile the most exciting game shows on tv is deal or no deal and those damn shiny gold suitcases.
So while i could watch day time television, or crappy late nite movies on channel 9, i sometimes prefer my PS2 and the magical worlds of disney and Final fantasy. but tonite i think i'll give it a rest. im gonna go do something old fashioned..im gonna read a book.
nite all.

AHHH. the morning. its 9:08 am. I've been awake for an hour now. Im only online because i needed to get a bus time table for the day, but i thought since im here mite as well blog for a bit.
But after logging in and getting this far - I realise i have nothing to blog except to say that YOU PEOPLE SUCK.
Im so sick of people doing stupid shit while drunk. AND im sick of stupid people! in my eyes YOUR ALL STUPID (but some people are naturally smart - but most are stupid) - for example - THE STUPID PPL AT KFC ELTHAM - didn't give us our coleslaw WHICH WE PAID EXTRA FOR - AND THEY TAKE FOREVER AT THE DRIVE THRU! OMG i was thinking at the time "JUST PICK YOUR FUCKING TOY AND MOVE ON" bloody annoying customers who take up MY precious time at the drive-thru. That's the point of drive thru isn't it? So you don't have to go inside the restaurant and deal with annoying customers and staff?!
And to add to this rant, I was so annoyed yesterday about things i heard from other ppl - and to make things worse im not having an easy time at home. Family politics prevented me from going out last nite, damnnnn it just makes me wanna rebel. but in my parents eyes i've done enough of that. Which is funny cos i could have been alot worse off in my early teen years. Parents are stupid. AND i was watching rage today and how the fuck did some of that bad australian pop shit get on the charts - THERE ARE STUPID PEOPLE EVERYWHERE - and they are all buying crap CDS! NOW today im going out. Im seeing lisa and nat hopefully. Which im excited about. because they are not stupid. SO finally i'll be around none stupid ppl - WHICH would be a first for this week (except for the other day with lis & carlos).


Meanwhile next thursday channel V is doing something at Fed Square - dashbaord will be there so if anyone wants to go - buzz me!!!!!!

well im off. GOOD BYE STUPID PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!