im just looking at marko's photo site. i like the photo of one of the treees from NZ. i have a picture of that same tree on a placemat at home....it always used to scare me though when i was younger...cos one of the branches looks like a leg...like some odd bird was hanging on up that tree...and sticking one leg out.

anyway. im stressing out. uni work is getting difficult, my radio doco seems not as easy and straight forward as it should be. I have no clear story or contacts in melbourne. And this topic on mp3 and file-sharing is too broad and difficult for me to do. But its too late now. So im trying to find the confidence to call up this guy on monday at Aria and sydney. I don't know if any of u know..but i get scared when i call ppl i don't know. There must be a name for it..but its almost a phobia. lol. odd i know. and to think i want to do radio and it involves doing all this scary stuff. I just have to put myself out there and not worry so much.

Soooo its only thursday. Im sick of this week already. I want it to end. Thankfully it will end tomorrow. But i still gotta live through today. im glad i did my presentation last week, but now i gotta go back to that class...the class where i made a dick of myself last week...and face all those strange people again. oh no.

I'm thinking it would be cool to go see James's band 'the glasses' which is on the 27th of may i think...i haven't seen him ever perform with a band..so i think it would be cool to go to..so if any one wants to go, tell me. we'll work sumthing out.
If not. i'll just wait for their next gig. I said i was gonna interview james..maybe i still will..never know. it could come in handy. Maybe i'll find a story somewhere in all this mess i've made.

I've joined a few more fan listings last nite. so go check out my site www.geocities.com/evesygal and scroll down on the front page for the full view of all my new pretty buttons...and you'll see a few extras. so click click!

The girl next door, through and through! You have a kind heart and a good sense of right and wrong. Your down-to-earth nature doesn't allow yourself to become swayed by petty distractions. Your pretty face and a sweet soul draws admiration and respect from everyone around you! Do be cautious that you don't become blinded by your morals and ideals. Sometimes, to get along with others, you must be willing to compromise and offer a little understanding. Which Love Hina Girl Are You?

playlist:
sweetbox - One kiss
hanson - penny and me
beyonce - naughty girl
christina milian - dip it low
brandy feat. Kayne west - talk about our love

Hi all. wassup? no one has written any comments. the idea of them is to tell me what u think. If any thoughts pop into ur head while ur reading this blog, just write them down in the comments. And i'll try to reply to the comments. Its just a nice way of communicating with you all.

Well its monday. tomorrow is tuesday. the electricity man is coming over to read the meter so i have to be home, to hold down our dog because supposedly she is very dangerous, and the fat guy who does the meter readings regularly is scared of her..which is funny cos that guy is ten times bigger than my dog.
Also the electricity will be out from 9am-2pm tomorrow. So i have nothing to do for half a day. So i was planning on doing lots of reading, because i can't use tv, or comp, or listen to the radio...i mite go visit my grandma..get her to fix my jeans and the three holes i've made because i was too lazy to go and get the pants taken up in the first place. I mite re-read the buffy magazine...look at some more pretty pictures of spike. mmm...does anyone want to go and see spike's band? I should say James Masters, but no one would know who the fuck im talking about. Come on..anyone wanna go see a shaven headed spike (mmm) and his band 'Ghost of a Robot'? the tickets are like 50 something bucks...so if u wanna go..tell me.

anyway. im gonna go and finish some work and do some printing.

how's it gonna be?
when you don't know me anymore?

let's take this overboard now
i want you to rock the boat

And if you could only let it be
you would see

I've paid my dues, in the mood
me and the girls wanna shake the room

So you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it

Lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel.
Whatever tomorrow brings i'll be there.

Please can you tell me so I can finally see,
where you go when you're gone.

We've been on the run driving in the sun looking out for number one
California here we come, right back where we started from.

Love is whatever you make it to be
Sunshine instead of this cold lonley sea

Its just the thought of you in love with someone else
It breaks my heart to see you hanging from your shelf

Some people's blogs are so interesting. Especially when they leave little hints and clues to things. And when they announce things out of the blue. lol.

Things this week for me have been strange. Im stressed, things are getting hectic. But it almost feels unnessecary, i don't have to stress, or worry, or panic. Do i really need the approval of my peers? I've never looked for it before, so why such a big deal now when I have a presentation to do? I will be so glad once this day is over. I'm just going to relax tonight, take it easy. But i should be taking it easy now. I'm fully prepared for my presentation, why am I fretting over this? Things got worse last night for me, my printer decided to go crazy in the middle of printing, but crisis was adverted when it decided to work for me again.

Then I see you standing there wanting more from me and all I can do is try

Is anyone else impressed by the new blogger site? It looks rad.
I've been hit with the need to write again. I'm updating this blog alot now it seems. I feel like less of a dork writing here now.

I wonder if any mail came today. I'm expecting a video in the mail of miyuki-chan goes to wonderland - an anime about scandily-clad characters trying to hit on the poor alice of the piece, miyuki-chan, an unsuspecting teenager who falls into this perverted world. Cost my dad a pretty penny on ebay, he's usually so tight when it comes to spending money on other people, but he agreed to it when I said it was for school. so there ya go - ways to con your parents for money - just say its for school.

I've spent the day sitting here and sitting on the couch. I was awake at 6:30 this morning, so I did what any sane person who can't sleep would do. I turned on the PS2 for two and a half hours of FFx-2 fun. Which funnily enough for those who've played FFX and FFX-2...right now i'm doing the cactuar challenges for both games - makes u wonder how hard it would be to find a miniature cactus...but the lil guys are evading me well.

Im going to finish the cinema presentation tomorrow. It's almost done. I have to make a clip of the gundam 0083 movie. proof-read, print then i'm done! woot.
I've thought of an idea for my radio documentry, on weds i'll tell it to Beate and see what she thinks, it mite be interesting working with someone on this - i haven't done a shared group project for awhile. Usually i don't like to because someone always fucks up on the communication side of things, and people do too much work, and others do not enough.

Anyway. i mite go. check the mail. start the fire, actually cook dinner. *sigh* I me.

Then I see you standing there wanting more from me, I'm all I'll ever be

I don't know how I got so tangled

Thanks to ETHANZ for the wonderful comment - i had forgotten about the david bowie competition. I was thinking of entering it back in april when i first heard of it, but I guess i don't have the time to put together a few loops and wav files in acid - even though its the easiest thing in the world to do. Acid takes no skill whatsoever. But i encourage you ethanz to enter yourself and to who ever else mite like to. www.davidbowie.com for details.

Im watching the new strong bad email now. hehe...barbzerdry lol. this is the funniest thing i've seen all day. except when patlabor gave me the giggles after i watched tokyo get blown to pieces in yet again another anime. I finished two books in the last week. Praise and How to be good. Both were good books.

I read an interesting article in dolly magazine today. I know. dolly magazine. What am i doing reading it. Well its one of the only current magazines in our house- due to my sister being an annoying angsty teenager and all - except angst and dolly magazine doesn't really go that well. Its kinda too perky for all that depressing stuff. But the article reminded me of one of our friends. Which is kinda sad that someone like her, can be typed out and sterotyped into a dolly magazine article. maybe not sterotyped, i can't think of a better word though.


anydangway.


playlist:
steven speaks - out of my league
mario winans - i don't wanna know

must be a curse.

dashboard - hold on
count the stars - fireflies
utada - never let go (even on shuffle winamp plays this ALOT)

i didn't think getting myself off a sailormoon email list would be so hard. but whoops. turns out it is.
I took today off. did my cinema presentation. still not quiet done. I went through all the anime, gundam and patlabor. gundam 0083 is pretty cool. i didn't mind gundam W either...the same story and characters are all there - you know..the angst ridden characters and the gundams and lots of war. lots of war. but i get a feeling i've seen gundam 0083 before..or at least parts of it. But it was good. Patlabor is better now that i know more about it, and i found a great article online at the miyazaki website which was an interview with miyazaki and mamoru oshii the director of patlabor.

What is this? are you some kind of hypnotist?

I really don't remember writing that previous blog.

I have Gundam on the mind. I just read an article for my cinema presentation and i've been looking at websites about the series - and i am very confused. I feel bombarded by gundam. There is waaay to much gundam...the whole series spans over more than 15 years - there are like ten different series(slight exaggeration), a few movies, and too many characters and its just making me scared cos i have to sort through all this for the presentation.

Im just tired today. I had a nail appointment at 9am. one of my nails was severly broken and it was bleeding alittle. turns out its been six weeks since my last appointment. I got scolded for leaving it so long.

My mind has been wandering alot lately. I've been concerned about old things, freaking out over new things. one day i'll tell u all about it. but for now i'll leave it. there are just some things i shouldn't share.

playlist:
sweetbox - one kiss (acoustic) 'i can't get over this one kiss, one touch its not enough, can't you feel the same'
Howie Day - morning after 'we opened up our party gifts and you fell down the stairs on purpose...'
eagle eye cherry - falling in love 'im so tired of playing this game
koda kumi - 1000 words ' Kikoeteru? 1000 no kotoba wo'
brand new - mix tape 'you're always made up'
Michelle branch - are you happy now? 'you can't run away from yourself'

there is a time and place for everything.

I was at uni this morning. Handing in the radio assignment, which as i found out yesterday is now due on friday...so i panicked and got myself in a tiz over nothing. But at least its done. Uni on a sunday is an interesting. Its very quiet, not many people. and most of the doors are locked. But those hours i was there for were alright. It does get alittle quiet and boring when your working solidly for four hours in front of a computer. last friday when i was in there i wondered why it was so weird, then i realise it was because i wasn't playing any music while working...i always have music on. when ever im in front of a computer there has to be music on somewhere in the background. But considering how well i've worked lately, music might be a distraction for me. But i feel weird without it.

Well im home now. I've almost finished reading Praise, it reminds me of some things that have happened to me. experiences and such, and things i wish i had spent more time on instead of running away from. I need gundam and patalbor episodes..so if anyone hassss any of the above. i would love to get copies b4 thursday. after thursday is no good.

anyway. big brother started last night. and jon stevens was kicked out of american idol. That boy can't sing in tune at all!!!! he's terrible. he just sounds like shit most of the time. and what was with that "mould my style" comment he made in one of those lil packages - honestly, that boy couldn't mould any style of music...he'll just go back to sinatra and dean martin impersionations and one day im sure he'll be famous for that up in vegas, but he shouldn't give up on his education. singing won't be his career, at least not for awhile.
Im still annoyed about the jennifer hudson thing, that was just wrong. Everyone knew it, then why did it happen? my guess is someone fucked up - or that white america is voting like crazy..or were voting like crazy.......then everyone else went WTF and voted like crazy the next week soo that none of the girls would get kicked out. poor jasmine though, i feel like her time is almost up. That diana chick is the dark horse for this comp.

listen
david bowie - china girl (good for 7:30am)
daft punk - something about us
dashboard - bend and not break

hi ya all!

im in a writing mood tonight. Haven't been In awhile. everytime i start something i never want to finish it or i just find i don't feel like it anymore. its werid, i used to write so much, i used to be good at Making up things And stuff like that. i can still write lyrics and stuff, but i can no longer write fiction Really for long periods of time. i Keep trying but its hard finishing some things - and some things just don't want to be finished or solved or completed.
theo and i were talking about Writing A novel last year, his writing is different to mine, mine is crap - and well not like his. plus my grammar is worse. nah its all the fanfiction i Started too many years ago, and the fantasy type novel i Started getting ideas for in yr 9. it's a good idea, im fond of it, bUt i just don't want to write it! the motivation even to start something new has died. i used to just write so much, i could just let it all spill out, there were always so many Pages. now i can't even write one page without getting bored or getting lost for words. i guess my motivation now is different, im older now i've let go of those lil fantasties i used to have, but i've always liked writing but i just can't write the long stories anymore. i don't know why its so hard, but im sure once the motivation kicks in again i'll be passionate about it like i once was.

im going to uni tomorrow. yes. on a sunday. how very odd. they gave me keys and a key card to get into the media editing suites, so i can finish my radio project. i'll probably spend all day doing it though. and im gonna take heaps of food in with me, cos i starved on friday. i only moved from that room once to go to the bathroom, but i had no food since 7am that morning...when i got home yesterday at like 6pm i ate those cheese and bacon rolls i found in the kitchen...i haven't gone without food for that long in awhile...i used to not eat lunch all time back in high school, but its not healthy, and probably my lack of nutrition is why i got sick all the time then.

listen:
bijou phillips - i'd rather eat glass

the most fustrating thing right now that could happen to me.. is for my cd burner to fuck. i just used my last remaining blank cd, and now roxio cd creator has decided to BUGGER UP THE WHOLE FUCKING THING! muthabLOODYSTUPID PIECE OF POOOOO CRAPOLA FUCKING SHIT FUCK. these were just some of the obsenities that were shouted in the last five minutes at the computer when the error popped up on the screen.

So now my radio piece won't be finished till this weekend/and or monday. i have to buy another blank cd so i can transfer a few sound effects of something going SPLAT (sounds nice and bloody) into my radio project which is on the latrobe apple server thingy. unless i can use the mac's at uni to go on the net and download the sounds (im not sure if i have net access in the edit suites) i am fucked.

So thank you Roxio, my last cd, and to the stupid sound effect which it did copy. YOU fucked up my WHOLE FUCKING ASSIGNMENT YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

listen:
eagle-eye cherry - living in the present future

HI everyone. wassup? i didn't get home till 6 something - i've been out doing lots of things. bumped in to julian whitty person at the bus stop at shoppo, that was alrite...then near the pines the bus decided to fuck up, it almost made it to my bus stop...just a few more meters and it would have been there. oh well...i was greeted to the sounds of Mum yelling At dad because they had to go out to dinner tonight and he was putting the clothes on the like and pottering around doing stuff when they should have left straight away. at the moe im doing my Radio assignment, listening to cds with sound fx of ppl yelling, burping, making 'excited'groans, and of doors and Key's opening and locking etc!

i'm just dead tired tonite, i couldn't wake up this morning at all. my sister usually wakes me up, that didn't happen, my mum tried i kinda lifted my head then went back to sleep, then my dad kept bring the dog into my room...which is stupid cos im on a bunk bed, the dog can't reach me from up here - thank god the dog isn't annoying like my cat has been this whole week. I have had no sleep at all...stupid cat. i love my cat, but he can be so annoying when it comes to sleep. and at 2am i like to sleep not be subject to his whims. I swear that cat needs you to just go with him to the laundry (where his food bowl is) haha..maybe he's a scardy cat. muahaha.

i need a wav sound..of someone getting hit over the head by an axe or something...

I've realised this morning that instant coffee really doesn't like me. It made me sick last week, and its making me sick this week again. I don't understand why though? Why do I have to put up with this icky feeling in my stomach and throat that makes me want to hurl the entire contents of this morning's breakfast across the room (nice image there huh).

playlist:
new radicals - you get what you give
the beatles - norwegian wood
third eye blind - jumper
xtina - fighter
nina gordon - hold on to me

First we run, then we laugh till we cry

I think im getting paranoid. Yeah. i think i am...certain little things have got inside my head. Comments, about people, things, and blogs. Yes maybe im reading into some things, but i think im now paranoid. Or it could just be all the coffee i've just consumed in the last hour. Im still not finished with my bodybuilding essay - kudos to those who took the quiz on tickle...if you'd like to take it, msg me i'll email you the link in a pretty email. So far lisa knows me the best - but i made the questions tricky on purpose. And one of two questions i may have lied on......

I'll finish the essay tomorrow arvo i think. Then get started on music and sounds for the radio project. yeeeahp. Friday morning i'll be busy in the radio edit suites..starting and finishing a project in only 2-3 hours. it may take longer though.

Okay. I saw Kill Bill last friday nite with my buddy carlos while everyone else saw Starsky and Hutch...mark told me it was okay - he didn't sound too thrilled about the film...im still gonna see it eventually so busy at the moment.. But i did watch Love actually today - and i really liked it even though i was confused as hell as to who each character was and how they were connected, most were friends or family..and others were connected through jobs..so once it all came together it was cool. I really enjoyed the couple who didn't mind getting their gear off for their acting work, but when it came to asking the girl out for a date the guy was shy and awkward about it. LOL.

When im not writing my essay Im playing games of freecell and listening to henry rollins' spoken word cds. No matter how many times i listen to it, i still laugh like crazy...and i just love the sound of rollins' voice...My personal favourite tracks on the THINK TANK spoken word album is Russia, Airport Hell, and Brazil.

i have a box of home brand water crackers in front of me (for so long i was puzzled by why they were called water crackers - i didn't get wether it was because they were made with water or eaten with water. I have images of the first fleet and horn blower eating water crackers out at sea) and this box is white, boring as hell, no interesting serving suggestion images just this huge ass barcode! Made extra big for easy scanning. Fuck its huge. its almost as tall as the box itself.

hold me love, I can't sleep again
Will I have to kiss your nose,
I wanna lay here next to him love...

"This Old Wound"


I’ve been bleeding well
From this old wound
Cleaning it with salt,
So it will still feel new
Sometimes eyes turn black,
And sometimes scars are tracks
But every time that you’re gone
I wish that you’d come back


And everyone watched me waste myself
And everyone cheered at last
And all of them found it comforting
Its better it’s me then them.


I think I’m doing well from what they say
They’ve taken both my belt and shoelaces away
Well I believe in luck
I think I do
Well I believe for sure
If ever I see you


I’ve been fanning flames from these old coals
Feeding them with tender
And hoping they will grow
And I’ve been savoring
What I can’t hold
A blind belief in goodness
That doesn’t seem to show


But I’ve been bleeding well
From this old wound
Cleaning it with salt,
So it will still feel new




- dashboard confessional

What do women want i saw a book titled that in the lib yesterday when i was looking for references for my bodybuilding essay.
I've figured out that If theo thinks women don't know what they want, then he is very wrong. We know extactly what we want, we just know we'll never get it from any male on this planet. If you get rejected by a female - obviously your not what she wants. Women aren't fussy or picky - we just know what we like and what we don't like.
So my new assumption is that Men only think that women don't know what they want. But its the opposite. We know what were looking for, but i think the main problem is where do you find it?

Today Theo and myself got into one of those conversations about relationships with friends. And the old age argument that males and females can never just be friends. Okay well it got well off topic, but the idea of dating friends was the main discussion. He argued that its better to be friends and to get to know a person first - I said that sometimes knowing someone too well can be bad, then he pointed out after i said that my first relationship was with someone i hardly knew, that i had jumped into it impulsively. Ultimately in my case that may not have been the right decision, and i think i agree that next time i'll be more careful. BUT it is possible to be too good a friend with someone and then try a relationship which is just too awkward and odd. We both agreed that some friends you just don't see them in a certain way, some are just strictly friends and other you kinda think about as something else but usually nothing eventuates from that (in my experience, i dunno about theo...never insult him about him getting with chicks- its something he doesn't take lightly). Theo was telling me about one of his good female friends and how one night she kissed him then the next day acted like nothing had ever happened. My guess is that sexual attraction got in the way of their friendship for a moment and she probably was wondering what he'd be like, so that kiss was basically just to confirm something she either already suspected or knew and she probably did it just to get that sexual attraction out of the way. Obviously she didn't mean anything by it, but left Theo very confused (and he's easy to confuse). So basically by this stage Theo had concluded that Women don't know what they want. But Men do. Theo also said he was an honest guy (but i can only take so much weird bullshit theories in one day). So do women know what they want? or are we a confused lot?
Theo did go on to speculate that guys who are insecure with themselves are usually confused and don't know what they want either...but is that saying women are also insecure. probably. I countered with "But most women have a list of what they want in a guy" theo countered that with a blunt "Women are too picky".
He thinks that every guy a female rejects could have been a postive relationship/partner for her, but because she was too picky she passes it up not realising this. Theo said i would probably end up alone...he said that jokingly of course.
I told him he could come visit me and my cats.

Okay, i believe in attraction. Its not always about looks, but i feel there must be some kind of attraction or some feature in a person that stands out. If any old joe comes up and asks you out, i'd expect you would say no unless something about them was really appealling to you.
I know that being rejected by someone is not the nicest of feelings. But obviously everything happens for a reason, just have to figure it out before its too late. and that's what fate is. And that as they say is that.