Tuesday, January 11, 2005



Stem - Shiina Ringo


There's a door here, but it will not break
There's a stone there, but it won't remain
Up there a heaven now, but it will not wait
And the lies there, the scent of it, just too much
So should you,Sow it once and make it grow, the sweet clematis
Let it flower, and paint it all of the colors bold
Instantly things fall and fade, return to silence
Why oh why, why does it all feel so sorrowful?
Dreams of what is real
There's a breath here, but it will not break
There's a face there, but it won't remain
Up there a heaven now, but it knows no name
And the stain is the color of red through red
And thus,
You cannot cry, confuse the lies, try to remember
When you rise, you take your steps with a strong desire
Time goes by, a breath it comes, like something given
Why oh why, why have these nightmares not long expired
The real is but a dream
From now on,
Should it grow and open full, the sweet clematis
Flower bold, but there's no need for rejoicing more
Precious life, this life, just once, it comes just one time
Keep it close, keep it from ever just leaving you
Crying tears confusing fears they are no longer
When I stand I know I'll never be down again
Nothing that I need now, once it comes just one time
Somehow, somehow, someone, ah
Entry Number One

Monday, January 10, 2005



I was just reading a fan fic and I've had this feeling all though it - something wasn't meshing for me. It wasn't as enjoyable to read a second time (rewritten) round and then a thought just hit me. It's not real. None of it makes sense nor do i find it believable at all. For the simple fact that this fan fic took real people and threw them into a fictional situation involving other fictional characters to work off. And it just doesn't work for me anymore. The characters are annoying now. Fan fiction is a weird thing...and it can be good or bad. And i've read alot of good - stuff that I can relate to, and right now its just unbelieveable and unrealistic. When it comes down to it, fan fics are just written by girls who idolise or want to sleep with famous rockstars or characters in a show. Im sure there is already O.C fan fiction out there about Seth and Ryan getting with the "female cast" but really its just the authors putting themselves in the lead roles. And reading about Zac Hanson - someone else's version of him - its kinda weird. I mean I've never met the guy, I'm sure he's nice...and nothing like the million different Zac's I've read about. Which is the annoying thing about fan fics - they perpetuate a myth about famous people...its all lies..and we'll never know what these people are really like in real life until we meet them. I've been over this so many times - But i'm not over it. I am in the sense i no longer have unrealistic expectation myself - but when will there be a time when we just leave it alone? i guess im experiencing what so many other extinct fan fic site authors went through awhile back...when it no longer feels right reading/making up stories about REAL people's lives.
anyway, thats all i wanted to say.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005



I went to doncaster and boxhill yesterday with Tristan. We had lucky cup and walked round to all the anime stores....so that was nice until we got bored and started walking around mindlessly in target and centro. i purchased the love hina vol 3. manga and ghost in the shell: innocence dvd...woot. the day before yesterday i bought a sponge bob dvd with TEN episodes on it...woot. I should stop spending money though, i spent 250 dollars on biotherm products last week, and 170 on paying off laybys and buying the DEAD LEAVES & Sanjuro dvds. also i bought some levis for 100 on sale...and i got a 60 buck jacket from supre - i only bought the jacket so i could put this reallly nice pin on it that i got from toxic. So I'm wasting my money basically on just stuff....and its annoying me. Don't get me wrong, i love the stuff i bought, but i keep saying that i'm gonna save up and as yet i haven't saved a cent.
I need to fill out my swinburne form and send it out this week cos its due by the 10th and already its the 5th today...so i'd better hurry up otherwise i'll miss out and be a bum for the next year.
I saw the incredibles last nite. I liked it alot. I think Pixar did really well with the action family adventure thing. And the animation was AMMMMMAAAZing. go see it.
anyway i'm off to watch ep 115 of naruto - *muah* keep cool.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

playing with the new ipod right now...putting on some actual good music...my sister is driving me crazy. She's become the bedroom nazi and the ipod nazi....i swear i was so close to slapping her. anyway i think i mite go shopping for some bed sheets...i feel like something black and red...no more of this pink room therfore pink bed crap. Christmas sucked, except when i saw lisa and watched house of flying daggers with her...the movie rocked my socks off...andy lau and the hot guy from chungking and fallen angels was in it..so was the chick from crouching tiger with that name i can't pronounce. it was cool go see it.

I love my taking back sunday cd...its awwwesome. i'm listening to "number five with a bullet" right now. its cool. can't wait till i get paid...im going shopping for some new stuff...biotherm products are ammmmaazing. and i've found some cool basic tees and singlet tops from giordano really cheap..so im gonna go there and get some stuffff...woot. and my astroboy delux box set...wooooooot...hmm and i need some popcorn to pop in my all new totallly awwwesome popcorn maker complete with those crazy popcorn boxes you get at the cinema...woot.




Thursday, December 23, 2004



It's that time of year again...and if i hear one more christmas song i'm going to scream.
Seriously, I am OVER it. I'm not over the presents giving and buying part - But I'm over stupid customers, bitchy customers, and the crap myer forces us low level sales assistants to listen to for 9 hours straight. Nothing turns you off a holiday quicker than working in retail or listening to crap christmas songs which are lyrically retarded and go something like this "I'M GEETTING NOTHING FOR CHRISTMAAASSS"....ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!*SQUEALS at the end of the argh* my ears.....anyway..im working 12am(midnight tonite) till 8am friday morning....I had such a hard time explaining that to my parents, they kept getting it all the times and dates mixed up...grrr... so im trying to get some rest now because otherwise i'll just fall asleep on my feet. Like who the hell is going to come shopping after 2am at myer? And the rest of the center isn't even open except for myer so whats the point? I know if i was still doing chrissy shopping i'd rather go to highpoint or chaddy for the 24hour shopping in the whole center not just crappy myer. not that myer is crappy - no only the eastland myer is crap. lol ;)
well i gotta meet up with lisa some time tomorrow hopefully and write up our fancy chrissy cards - yes we have expensive taste...but i'd rather send out nice chrissy cards than crap 79 cent ones that all look the same. anyway i gotta get some more sleep b4 tonite...stay cool kids.

listen to me:
Shiina Ringo - Kuki
usher - if i want to

watch me:
oprah's favourite things
willow
freaky friday (lindsay kicks Hilary's ass)

Sunday, December 19, 2004



listen:
the avalanches - frontier psychiatrist
ollie and jerry - there's no stopping us
the chemical brothers - come with us (you must only listen to this song with ur speakers turned up to 11 - or 10 if they don't go that far)


Well i have some news for this week. And i thank my lucky stars (and god) for this one. I got into the Swinburne course! woot! i'm doing commercial radio next year! woot! i'm so excited and scared and shocked and amazed and I don't know what it was that they liked about me, but i am so grateful and thankful that I'm not going to be spending next year doing nothing. So thats one good thing about next year, its gonna be alot of work though. And alot different from doing my usual cut and paste radio. So i have alot of learning to do, but i'm gonna just throw myself into the deep end on this one and hopefully come up a stronger more mature and knowledgeable individual.


Oh well I can dream.



Saturday, December 11, 2004

I have had the strangest 24 hours. I have had enough of these strange emotional ups and downs i've been having. While sober i seem fine and happy, then I get drunk and stay very high and fairly happy and then when i finally come down I'm so low that i've sunk to the deepest depths of the depression end of my emotional scale. And somehow when i woke up this morning my low was still with me. i've spent most of today as a sleepless zombie, (do zombies sleep? they are the waking dead after all) and i've been numb of anything emotionally stable and good. Even a work associate of mine (whom i don't work with that often) noticed a change in my demeanor. I wasn't rude...execpt when i knocked back the short bread biscuits that nadia made - but honestly I didn't want to work today. When i got into Miss shop this arvo i realised how stupid my day was going to be with nothing to do and no one decent to chat with (despite there being 7 girls working in that dept today). I was happy to be moved into christmas trimm dept, even though i had no idea about anything. Customers would ask me questions about the trees on display or about the crazy electrical singing santas and i would stare at them jaw open with a "oh fuck" look on my face...lol. I must admit though, speed wrapping is not my thing. even if its only tissue paper wrapping. And also i'll admit that i miss my personal care department. Yes it has its moments where it is boring and horrible, but i'd rather be there and comfortable than thrown into the deep ends into a busy department where i know nothing.
yeah anyway enough talk about work, its driving me crazy.



hyde - masquerade
dashboard confessional - screaming infidelities & For You to Notice(my anthem for the day)


Friday, December 10, 2004



Distance - Utada Hikaru (remix version)

Ki ni naru noni kikenai
Oyogitsukarete kimi made mukuchi ni naru

Aetai noni ienai nami ni osarete
Mata sukoshi tooku naru

Tokirenai you ni keep it going baby
Onaji kimochi janai nara tell me
Muri wa shinai shuugi demo
Sukoshi nara shite mite mo ii yo

I wanna be with you now
Futari de distance shijimete
Ima nara maniau kara
We can start over
Hitotsu ni wa narenai
Itsu no hi ka distance mo
Dakishimerareru you ni nareru yo
We can start sooner
Yappari I wanna be with you

Hito koto de konna ni mo kizutsuku kimi wa
Kodoku wo oshiete kureru

Mamorenai toki keep on trying, baby
Yakusoku toori janai kedo trust me
Muri wa shinai shuugi demo
Kimi to nara shite mite mo ii yo

I wanna be with you now
Futari de distance mitsumete
Ima nara maniau kara
We can start over
Kotoba de tsutaetai
I wanna be with you now
Sono uchi ni distance mo
Dakishimerareru you ni nareru yo
We should stay together
Yappari I wanna be with you

I wanna be with you now
Coz I know this can't be forever
We can start over, just you and me
I wanna be with you now
Coz I know this can't be forever
We should stay together, just you and me
I wanna be with you

-- This song just reflects my mood for today - so if you knew this song and what it sounds like, you'd know I'm very happy right now. Isn't happy such a strange word, its a very childish word to me. Yet its the only word i can think of that would perfectly describe my mood...hmm.

i've changed my tune about adsl - and while i'm not about to have one of those moments where i'll say i'd fuck the guy who invented it (past examples - the guy who invented napster or icq) but I will say FUCK I thank my lucky stars because those two episodes of naruto i have downloaded have been FUCKING AWESOME. now i bet your thinking, how many more times can evelyn slip the word FUCK into a sentence or paragraph. and you'll be pleasntly surprised when i don't finish this sentence with the F-word. lol..well almost (you'll be more surprised when the day comes that i decide to fucking proof read my blogs and get rid of all this bad speeling and crazy un-needed punctuation and grammaraaar. But it is not in my nature to proof read).

listen:
spinal tap - give me some money
utada hikaru - in my room
henry rollins - A rollins in the wry
Deepdish - flashdance (because i heard it exactly 5 times on the radio yesterday)

watch:
mean girls (cos their so meaaaaaan)
little Britain - I'm a LAAAADY! "you there, do you think i'm a laaaady?"
Naruto - ep 112 (chouji and his fat rolling jutsu)
the goodies - Kitty Kong ep.







Thursday, December 09, 2004




I'm in one of those moods...i want to write something here but nothing i can think of really appeals to me. I've realised that ADSL isn't all that great because telstra sucks balls....literally honestly its been such a pain in the ass trying to just access some sites here. while the downloading of songs is usually fast - its not cool when stupid kazaa users decided they won't share their mp3s with my lovely speedy internet. hmm.

Right now. just then i had a craving for macca's fries. that really cannot be a good thing.

I think I'm becoming obsessed with lip gloss. Don't ask me why, but since trying the new rimmel jelly gloss...i think i'm hooked. meanwhile my new sugarbaby lip laquer is fantassstic - yet nothing seems to be as nice as the rimmel stuff right now.....i'll have to actually buy some gloss instead of just using the testers at work...haha. Honestly testers for lipsticks and such just become really eww and grotty after awhile. And to think ppl steal them, Eww...I wouldn't be able to live with myself if i did that, i'd just keep thinking about how many other ppl's lips have been all over that stick of lippy....eww....all the germs! testers are really not the most hygenic things to ever be thought of by cosmetic companies.
anyway...

oh goody - im now working saturday 2-7pm....damn christmas trading hours...looks like getting to james's 21st will be alot more difficult than at first thought....grr.

musiqueeee:
jojo feat bow bow - Its you



Monday, December 06, 2004

I was right. nothing happened. my night ended in a [G] rated way.

Sunday, December 05, 2004


Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
Sun December 5, 2004
The level of sexual chemistry flowing between you and you-know-who is so powerful right now that you almost feel you could reach out and touch it. This could lead to some X-rated scenes but there's also a chance that it could go another way and provoke a combustible atmosphere. So do your best to steer the situation in whichever direction you want it to take.
Your lucky numbers are: 18,22
Your lucky colours are: teal blue,apricot
Sexual chemistry...ooh X-rated scenes... Combustible atmosphere? Bring it on msn astrosurf...Bring it on. but somehow i doubt my day shall end in an x-rated way.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

I know I don't know you,
But I want you so Bad
Everyone has a secret -
But can they keep it?
Oh no they can't.


Well my interview went well. Hmm...I'm not expecting too much, but you know I can only hope at this point. I have to make an audition tape - so i'll organise that tomorrow or something, yeah and i have work tomorrow 6-9pm, and Kristie's 21st...woot. it should be good.
I had more to write here...in fact I had a whole post written until blogger decided to not work. Tonite i'm gonna go see team america - i'll post a review about it tomorrow or on the weekend or something. I feel like doing a bit of criticism. hmm...well i've run out of things and people to insult. I think I've exhausted pretty much every topic i can think of...but just wait I'm sure someone will do something stupid tomorrow....ahhh tomorrow is another day....im excited.



songs that made my day:
third eye blind - semi charmed kinda life (i change the lyrics when i sing this so its "he goes down and he goes round for me" and not the other way round ;) hehe)
mylo - drop the pressure
maroon(ed) 5 - Sunday Morning & Secret(see above lyrics)
the chemical brothers - come with us


Tuesday, November 30, 2004



I love my new Ministry of Sound 2005 Annual - in the words of the teen girl squad "It's sooooooooooo good!"
Nah seriously it is THAT good.

Okay well I've been meaning to post up things about the Hanson gig - except I never bothered to re-write everything I had written about it here...so maybe i'll just leave it. All you need to know is that it was good. Really good. Although I left that night feeling alittle disappointed and and also alittle tipsy. Yes alchol and Hanson does mix. Also I met some really cool fans, and I've never really associated with other fans before but I had a really good time hanging out with them till Lisa arrived and got me more tipsy after the gig at the Gin Palace - a really cool bar/lounge place....the bar tender was hot. Okay so that was the Hanson gig in a nutshell. It was surreal, good, and a nice experience i wouldn't mind repeating next year (if the boys come back with an actual band).

Last Friday night was the alexisonfire gig - they played at the Espy with I killed the prom queen and a whole heap of other bands. i didn't get to the venue till like 10 something, i finished work at like 9pm then once in st. kilda trying to find a park was murder...until we found one literally right next to the espy. It was a good night, i got some tee shirts - and got squished by a crowd while watching alexisonfire - who FUCKING rock. It was one of the most crazy fucking fantastic shows I've ever seen. It was really good and i HONESTLY had fun lol - lisa somehow didn't believe me...lol. anyway.

At the moment I have been working at myer quite a bit. I'm so buggered. Honestly working 9-5.30 is killer - and today 9-1 was just urghhhhhh, yeah no words can describe the pain of it...
So I'm home now and I have some news concerning my up and coming study for next year.
Firstly, I have an interview at Swinburne university tomorrow at 10:15am for the Commerical radio course - so wish me luck. I'm having a hard time actually with the application because it requires me to have 2 referees and I only have one so far, who is only reachable via email...and my other media lecturer well, he only knows that write shit essays (58 for my last essay). So i could use him as my second, but really i'd need to find someone better than him. And its very last minute now. Well I only found out about this interview and the referee thing yesterday. So this is the best i can do. Well i should prepare for it...get out a resume of some sort I guess. hmmm...

Monday, November 22, 2004

i haven't been looking at my emails lately...after that scary one with the dead girl under the bed - and after watching the grudge i think im all freaked out enough...lol. i love the grudge btw, i think im gonna go get a copy of the japanese version...

meanwhile latrobe keep sending me emails about some career thing this week...i think i might be too late to apply for it. Its just gonna tell me how to write an interview and shit...but i already know how to do all that anyway. Im giving my brother tips at the moe on resumes and stuff...he seems to be at a loss cos he's never had a crappy part-time job b4. I might do some research on my own now...because if i don;t get the swinburne course..its very likely that i won't - then im pretty much screwed. And i don't want to spend the rest of my life at Myer - some people have been at myer for like 20 years! and thats too long in my opinion. anyway i'd better get a move on. im gonna visit lisa at her mum's shop at 2pm...muahaha...then maybe i'll go buy some new tops...myer is taking 20% off all the good clothing brands, sale ends today so i'd better be quick....urgggh..and i have that vodaphone bill to pay..super cap my arse...

anyway. cya kiddies. and i hope to see some of u at gracie's going away paaarteeee. it shall rock rock on!

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

playlist for Ev:
planet funk - the switch
Slightly Stupid - Sweet Honey (from the O.C)
utada hikaru - animato

http://www.livejournal.com/users/april_wednesday/36991.html?view=81791#t81791
-film criticism of the film casshern. lots of pictures to keep u entertained :)


im seeing HANSON tonite. I just thought i'd share my enthusiasm here.........oohhh my oh my...
I've been waiting for this day for years...and right now it all seems alittle surreal. I don't know whats gonna happen tonite..my excitment is slowly building - im in a good mood now...im half way through with my essay..i have work later at 12.30 today...i also got paid today ;) woot
im thinking of buying the ministry of sound annual...and possibly the new azumanga daioh if its out..might get it later this week or something...



Sunday, November 14, 2004

The only song i've ever really liked by Madonna is 'Like a Prayer'. Of course over the years the song has lost some of its appeal - But i reeeally like the Rufio cover of it. It renews my love for that song all over again.

The first time I heard that song was on Hey Hey it's Saturday...and i was watching Molly Meldrum do his thing and introduce the song. I remember loving the music video mostly - although i don't really remember much of it now, just a few bits of it. Im sure if i watched it now it wouldn't be the same and would probably be more of a disappointment because it won't live up to my memories of it. Actually I can't figure out why I like that song, maybe it was something about the lyrics or the music (which is pretty daggy now by today's standards) but honestly i couldn't tell you what drew me to that song. I guess its a mystery.

Last night I went to a Formal Dinner with steve at his army barracks. It was a very strange, interesting and even educational experience. It was an ugly building - lots of hall ways and small rooms and the girls bathrooms were tiny! the que for the bathroom during the ten minute break involved every single female who was there that night.
I had no idea what alot of the people were talking about but still i enjoyed the jokes i understood and i like the free alchol except that dry sherrie is ick. The white wine was worse than my usual drink of lambrusca cask wine, the red made me sleepy and the cheesecake was a disappointment. But other than that it was a fairly entertaining night. There were a few weird formalities and odd traditions that these army folks like to do...like clanging on a gong/saucepan when ever someone important enters a room. The standing silently and waiting for someone to yell "THE MESS HAS ASSEMBLED" b4 you can sit down. Also the carrying of the colours - which are flags - was highly amusing. In fact everyone found that amusing and had a hard time containing their laughter b4 we all were seated.

The social aspect of it was really good actually. I met some very cool people - and one guy who goes to latrobe and likes animeee!! woot. in fact he even offered to burn me the entire naruto eps 1-107 for me...wooot he was cool, we had a nice chat about games and anime. I met a girl Emily - she was really cool and she's into performing music and stuff. But my night kinda wound down with a foot massages from steve's friend rob - lol sounds kinky i know - but we both kinda fell asleep on the couch, except we all left rob there cos clearly he wasn't going anywhere. Those army boys have a hell of a day cleaning up now though lol. After all that mess with hellium balloons and chips and crap everywhere lol. It was a good night - an odd night, but good. yeah but i didn't pick up...and i don't know if i'd want to do that again though, maybe - lol i guess it would be less nerve racking a second time round - also being told what to do and expect before hand would have been nice lol. Right now I'm finishing off an essay and i've got band rehersal tonite, if anyone wants to hear the demos drop me a line and i'll burn u a cd or send u the mp3s. aiight?

okay cyaaaaaa kids.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

I figured i'd link to the first 5 blogs i find on blogger's little random blog thingy...and this was it!

[ W h E r E i S T h E L o V E ]

http://soujiro18.blogspot.com/

Manic Musings Made by Max

http://hamster-riha.blogspot.com/

IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!!!!!!!!!!

I'd have to say that this is a pretty clear representation of blogs on the internet. teenage girl diaries, and adults with commentaries (which is just another clever way of forcing their right winged opinions onto others) - and interest blogs. which would be the last one...cos i skimmed through it and it was all about sport. In the words of Summer from the O.C "eww" ...



Sunday, November 07, 2004




I don't know why I still bother to update this blog. Like so many blogs this one has kinda just existed for the sake of exisiting. It serves no real purpose and some may not even consider it a real blog - even though only a small majority of bloggers are political A-List bloggers - while my weak little chicken of a blog will forever be classified as 'a teenager's diary' blog. One that has no relevance or doesn't serve a greater purpose in perpetuating the weblogger's imagined community. The blogosphere doesn't really have a place for me anymore? well yes and no. But no one really takes an interest. I mean I write here for me, myself and I and occasionally for you(the anonymous reader) and sometimes i write things here for my friends. But no one seems to comment - which isn't wholly unusual for blogs, in fact it might even be a blessing - do i really want to hear what you have to say?

So this blog is really about nothing. Well I guess I can't really say that either - it's about me. It's always been about me more than social or political issues, and more of a running commentary of my life rather than on the world around me, although i will express my opinions here about the shit state of the country, unfairness of whatever is unfair and my own angry opinions about drive-thru at maccas, diva's who suck - and what music you should all be listening to. not that many take my suggestions, lol - i don't blame you, hanson is an acquired taste.
I used to refrain from talking about hanson alot - until recently of course, but i thought it would scare off ppl from this blog. But you know what, i honestly couldn't give a fuck anymore. This space is mine and mine alone. I can do whatever i want here, write whatever i feel like etc. I did have another blog for my more personal comments, but why should i have to hide all that - why should i have to censor myself because of the odd chance that someone i've written about might even bother to read it. so i've almost given up the other blog, although i like the name of it i feel like incorporating it into this one and changing i'm not a chicken to a name most of you will be more familiar with. Not that it will matter - none of my friends read this. So i guess i should feel free to write whatever i like. I'll just keep my more personal and emotional moments to myself then - in my notebook where they belong. So for now, this rant - which was inspired by an article which i can't be bothered linking to because my internet explorer sucks - but look up
blogosphere on google and see what you get.
Meanwhile - maybe i should vacate this space for others...If you think you could do a better job of this blog - leave me a comment and i'll let you write my next one for me.

watch: ashlee simpson fucking up on snl
listen: basement jaxx ...here's the spot...
try: bettino liano jeans



Tuesday, November 02, 2004

I just found out something cool - so i thought i'd share it with you all.
Most of you should know that right now i'm obsessed with Hong Kong films and i've recently done a thing on Wong Kar-Wai one of the mosssst awesomeee of the hk auteurs. Well it turns out he directed one of the bmw short films "the hire: the follow" but he's just credited as WKW. No wonder I loved that one so much...AND and one of my all time fave music videos was directed by him too! "6 days" by DJ shadow. if you haven't seen it go download it cos it's awesome.

meanwhile can someone send me an addy for that red vs. blue thingy online..and for the g.i joe shorts also..cos i could do with some amusement right about now.

listen:
you're so last summer - taking back sunday
utada hikaru - wait and see
at the drive in - invalid litter dept.


Saturday, October 30, 2004

listen:
midtown - like a movie
the starting line - nothing's gonna stop us now
maroon 5 - sunday morning
jay z feat beyonce - bonnie and clyde
and that new song by thirsty merc that i heard on nova on the way home...

do:
make muffins
start a conversation with a stranger
learn to play bass geeeeetar

THE BLOG:

Since starting my job at myer - i think i've been there a month now - i've discovered lots of little cuts all over my hands and arms. Also working in the cosmetics department means that i'll try different lipsticks and moisturisers and products and by the end of the day my hand looks like a 2 year old's finger painting and smells like crap.

I've been blackmailed into leaving the house for a walk with the dog...otherwise my bro won't drive me to lisa's tonite. grrrrr...my feeet hurt. damnit. halloweeeen party toniteee...woot. lily's b'day...woot. cya cool ppl there ;)