the most fustrating thing right now that could happen to me.. is for my cd burner to fuck. i just used my last remaining blank cd, and now roxio cd creator has decided to BUGGER UP THE WHOLE FUCKING THING! muthabLOODYSTUPID PIECE OF POOOOO CRAPOLA FUCKING SHIT FUCK. these were just some of the obsenities that were shouted in the last five minutes at the computer when the error popped up on the screen.

So now my radio piece won't be finished till this weekend/and or monday. i have to buy another blank cd so i can transfer a few sound effects of something going SPLAT (sounds nice and bloody) into my radio project which is on the latrobe apple server thingy. unless i can use the mac's at uni to go on the net and download the sounds (im not sure if i have net access in the edit suites) i am fucked.

So thank you Roxio, my last cd, and to the stupid sound effect which it did copy. YOU fucked up my WHOLE FUCKING ASSIGNMENT YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

listen:
eagle-eye cherry - living in the present future

HI everyone. wassup? i didn't get home till 6 something - i've been out doing lots of things. bumped in to julian whitty person at the bus stop at shoppo, that was alrite...then near the pines the bus decided to fuck up, it almost made it to my bus stop...just a few more meters and it would have been there. oh well...i was greeted to the sounds of Mum yelling At dad because they had to go out to dinner tonight and he was putting the clothes on the like and pottering around doing stuff when they should have left straight away. at the moe im doing my Radio assignment, listening to cds with sound fx of ppl yelling, burping, making 'excited'groans, and of doors and Key's opening and locking etc!

i'm just dead tired tonite, i couldn't wake up this morning at all. my sister usually wakes me up, that didn't happen, my mum tried i kinda lifted my head then went back to sleep, then my dad kept bring the dog into my room...which is stupid cos im on a bunk bed, the dog can't reach me from up here - thank god the dog isn't annoying like my cat has been this whole week. I have had no sleep at all...stupid cat. i love my cat, but he can be so annoying when it comes to sleep. and at 2am i like to sleep not be subject to his whims. I swear that cat needs you to just go with him to the laundry (where his food bowl is) haha..maybe he's a scardy cat. muahaha.

i need a wav sound..of someone getting hit over the head by an axe or something...

I've realised this morning that instant coffee really doesn't like me. It made me sick last week, and its making me sick this week again. I don't understand why though? Why do I have to put up with this icky feeling in my stomach and throat that makes me want to hurl the entire contents of this morning's breakfast across the room (nice image there huh).

playlist:
new radicals - you get what you give
the beatles - norwegian wood
third eye blind - jumper
xtina - fighter
nina gordon - hold on to me

First we run, then we laugh till we cry

I think im getting paranoid. Yeah. i think i am...certain little things have got inside my head. Comments, about people, things, and blogs. Yes maybe im reading into some things, but i think im now paranoid. Or it could just be all the coffee i've just consumed in the last hour. Im still not finished with my bodybuilding essay - kudos to those who took the quiz on tickle...if you'd like to take it, msg me i'll email you the link in a pretty email. So far lisa knows me the best - but i made the questions tricky on purpose. And one of two questions i may have lied on......

I'll finish the essay tomorrow arvo i think. Then get started on music and sounds for the radio project. yeeeahp. Friday morning i'll be busy in the radio edit suites..starting and finishing a project in only 2-3 hours. it may take longer though.

Okay. I saw Kill Bill last friday nite with my buddy carlos while everyone else saw Starsky and Hutch...mark told me it was okay - he didn't sound too thrilled about the film...im still gonna see it eventually so busy at the moment.. But i did watch Love actually today - and i really liked it even though i was confused as hell as to who each character was and how they were connected, most were friends or family..and others were connected through jobs..so once it all came together it was cool. I really enjoyed the couple who didn't mind getting their gear off for their acting work, but when it came to asking the girl out for a date the guy was shy and awkward about it. LOL.

When im not writing my essay Im playing games of freecell and listening to henry rollins' spoken word cds. No matter how many times i listen to it, i still laugh like crazy...and i just love the sound of rollins' voice...My personal favourite tracks on the THINK TANK spoken word album is Russia, Airport Hell, and Brazil.

i have a box of home brand water crackers in front of me (for so long i was puzzled by why they were called water crackers - i didn't get wether it was because they were made with water or eaten with water. I have images of the first fleet and horn blower eating water crackers out at sea) and this box is white, boring as hell, no interesting serving suggestion images just this huge ass barcode! Made extra big for easy scanning. Fuck its huge. its almost as tall as the box itself.

hold me love, I can't sleep again
Will I have to kiss your nose,
I wanna lay here next to him love...

"This Old Wound"


I’ve been bleeding well
From this old wound
Cleaning it with salt,
So it will still feel new
Sometimes eyes turn black,
And sometimes scars are tracks
But every time that you’re gone
I wish that you’d come back


And everyone watched me waste myself
And everyone cheered at last
And all of them found it comforting
Its better it’s me then them.


I think I’m doing well from what they say
They’ve taken both my belt and shoelaces away
Well I believe in luck
I think I do
Well I believe for sure
If ever I see you


I’ve been fanning flames from these old coals
Feeding them with tender
And hoping they will grow
And I’ve been savoring
What I can’t hold
A blind belief in goodness
That doesn’t seem to show


But I’ve been bleeding well
From this old wound
Cleaning it with salt,
So it will still feel new




- dashboard confessional

What do women want i saw a book titled that in the lib yesterday when i was looking for references for my bodybuilding essay.
I've figured out that If theo thinks women don't know what they want, then he is very wrong. We know extactly what we want, we just know we'll never get it from any male on this planet. If you get rejected by a female - obviously your not what she wants. Women aren't fussy or picky - we just know what we like and what we don't like.
So my new assumption is that Men only think that women don't know what they want. But its the opposite. We know what were looking for, but i think the main problem is where do you find it?

Today Theo and myself got into one of those conversations about relationships with friends. And the old age argument that males and females can never just be friends. Okay well it got well off topic, but the idea of dating friends was the main discussion. He argued that its better to be friends and to get to know a person first - I said that sometimes knowing someone too well can be bad, then he pointed out after i said that my first relationship was with someone i hardly knew, that i had jumped into it impulsively. Ultimately in my case that may not have been the right decision, and i think i agree that next time i'll be more careful. BUT it is possible to be too good a friend with someone and then try a relationship which is just too awkward and odd. We both agreed that some friends you just don't see them in a certain way, some are just strictly friends and other you kinda think about as something else but usually nothing eventuates from that (in my experience, i dunno about theo...never insult him about him getting with chicks- its something he doesn't take lightly). Theo was telling me about one of his good female friends and how one night she kissed him then the next day acted like nothing had ever happened. My guess is that sexual attraction got in the way of their friendship for a moment and she probably was wondering what he'd be like, so that kiss was basically just to confirm something she either already suspected or knew and she probably did it just to get that sexual attraction out of the way. Obviously she didn't mean anything by it, but left Theo very confused (and he's easy to confuse). So basically by this stage Theo had concluded that Women don't know what they want. But Men do. Theo also said he was an honest guy (but i can only take so much weird bullshit theories in one day). So do women know what they want? or are we a confused lot?
Theo did go on to speculate that guys who are insecure with themselves are usually confused and don't know what they want either...but is that saying women are also insecure. probably. I countered with "But most women have a list of what they want in a guy" theo countered that with a blunt "Women are too picky".
He thinks that every guy a female rejects could have been a postive relationship/partner for her, but because she was too picky she passes it up not realising this. Theo said i would probably end up alone...he said that jokingly of course.
I told him he could come visit me and my cats.

Okay, i believe in attraction. Its not always about looks, but i feel there must be some kind of attraction or some feature in a person that stands out. If any old joe comes up and asks you out, i'd expect you would say no unless something about them was really appealling to you.
I know that being rejected by someone is not the nicest of feelings. But obviously everything happens for a reason, just have to figure it out before its too late. and that's what fate is. And that as they say is that.

$130!!!!!! YOU must be kidding me! I would even pay that much to see ...ANYONE! let alone Justin Timberlake. No. im sorry, but you won't see me there unless by some miracle I get 130 dollars to spend on a concert ticket. Anyway, i'd rather see the producers right now than JT.

Evelyn's To do list for this week:

Photocopy cinema and media stuff
Write 500 word cinema topic statement
Write Media essay, approx 2000-3000 words
Find sound fxs for radio piece

...I really don't want to go to uni tomorrow. Maybe because i know it'll be another class where i sit and get bored for a good hour and a half, then finally find myself in front of a computer at 12pm helping people who don't pay attention in class...why oh why. Then at 1pm i'll leave, get a bus, then maybe another bus or a train, then another bus home. Then by about 3 i'll be home...and then write my 500 word topic statement. Or sit in front of the ps2 for a good hour and a half.

I just don't want to wake up tomorrow morning at 6am. This morning i slept in, and i would have slept in longer if i didn't have to get up because the woodfire heater thing ppl were coming to install it at 10:30...but they turned up at 9:30. totally catching me up awares and in my pjs. I could have slept in. I haven't slept in all week, and i've been on holidays. But when i have uni, i don't wanna get up. I just want to stay in bed...Ok truth is, im not having a great time at uni. I sit in boring classes, while the topics are interesting, the lack of interesting people annoys me more. I have made friends in the radio class, but in animation i sit alone (almost prefer it though) and in the media class the girl i talked to for the first three lectures has disappeared...Okay, i snubbed her off - but only cos i wanted to sit further in the back. Im more comfortable in a lecture theatre when im not up close...But in animation i sit usually three rows to the front only cos in that room less ppl sit in the front, andtherefore less tall annoying ppl will sit in front of me and obstruct my view. What annoys me most are the people who are late and come in half way during a film and always choose the seat in front of ME. shit always happens to me, I always get looked over in a class, or stuck in some weird awkward situation. Im sick of it. I shouldn't say the words "SCREWED UP" to describe to logic audio programe when it fucks up. Especially not to my lecturer, cos it just sounds vulgar and stupid. But hey, thats me. The girl who burps and plays ps2, and is weird, and used to chew blue tack (actually im kinda not ashamed of that. Most kids ate dirt or crayons.. but obviously my love for all things gummi springs from my early blue tack chewing). Basically i feel fustrated in that class, like im surrounded by idiot people or idiot tech people (seriously, the woman who takes us for the logic audio tutorials is a boring, dull woman who repeats the simplest of steps and treats everyone in the room like they have never even seen or used a computer b4 in their life. Honestly, how would u even get to 2nd or third yr uni if u didn't know how to use a comp or do the most simplest of functions like SAVE).

The only thing good about uni at the moment, apart from the radio stuff when i go wild in the editing suites, is when i see lisa or go shopping with theo. Or when i hang with jon and chris and others. To me uni is boring. Without the random social interactions with my friends, uni is just another dull place with stupid people, bad lecture theatres, and boring lecturers with monotone voices.

But maybe tomorrow will be different? Maybe something will happen. but then again, maybe not.

music:
black eyed peas - weekend
Maroon 5 - this love
dashboard - as lovers go


I had the strangest dream last nite. I won't go into details but it was odd. You know when you have dreams when the person in ur dream is someone u know, but they look like someone else? well i had something like that happen. The dream was probably a result of the phone conversation I had with steve earlier yesterday. Anyway.

Final Fantasy X-2 IS GREAT! im loving it. the dress sphere changes rock, okay can get annoying in the middle of battle sometimes, but its pretty coool.

My birthday was last thursday. I had a good nite. almost everyone turned up, and i think ppl liked the cake. But i was suprised with the getting of presents, to be honest i was happy with everyone just turning up. It was great having morgan there, hadn't seen her in awhile, and seeing everyone else was very cool.
Afterwards at the irish pub in donnie, that was alrite...me and theo (he's my new drinking buddy) had a good time. But thank you to everyone who came, i appreciate that you came along to help me celebrate my birthday. it was a good nite all round i think.

I went shopping friday, got the dashbaord cd with the bonus dvd. Just watched it. It kicks booty and makes me go all "AWWWWWW" and mush like. Well i gotta give credit to any guy who could do that to me..sadly its a guy who i've met once and screamed at him "AND I REALLY LOVE YOUR MUSIC". ...lil chance of anything happening with a guy who lives in America anyway. I know what those rock idol crushes can do to a girl, and it can leave u pining for a hot blonde guy who ultimately will never know you, and never love you because of the fact that you are a fan. Right now the line "But i can still dream" usally would sit here, but its stupid to create these little fantasies. I don't think i want to succumb to those unreal dreams and unattainable goals.

oh btw. there was a tiny tiny article on hanson in thursday's herald sun. www.fansfromoz.com but only if u care to look.

im gonna go now. and play some ffx-2 b4 i have to start my reading for uni tomorrow...hehe. can you believe its only been like one week? feels longer some how eh.

17 PEOPLE!

wow. i'm amazed - i didn't think I could organise anything AND that people would actually want to turn up to it. So tomorrow nite, dinner and movie after ya? It hasn't really hit me or anything yet...im happy...not fully excited. Well im excited about the organising - since organising that lil minature shindig for carlos (and when i say minature - it only involved one bbq, one flashlight and approx six ppl...but was very fun) I've got a case of the organising bug.

Okay, sooo what have i been doing of late...lemmme think. Well the other nite a few ppl came over for boardgames..i missed the first nite at mark's house due to a weird sickness that hit me while preparing prawns for dinner that night...but I had lis, eamon, mark and carlos over for a very lonnnng time..but it was great. I got to make coffee for eamon, played scrabble badly, and went for a walk at 3am. i think it was three am. They didn't leave till 5 something..but i didn't mind. I had fun :)

last nite went to ROBOT BAR with mark, carlos and eamon. It was cooool. Had SAKE! i liked it, made me feel all warm and squishy and ...my hands and wrists just felt reeeeallly cool. They show anime on tuesday nights, and while the anime was patlabor which i find kinda boring and slow...it was still cool. I'd like to go back there again soon. and try some more sake. Then my bro came along, and we all hung out and finally after walking around finally we went somewhere..then me and red's left...then went to macca's drive thru. We criticised the terrible indoor deco and the fake plants, sang a little of the cheat theme song and then finally got my large mc chicken meal (reeeallly good mc chicken burger and the chips were super salty).

today i went to doncaster...my mum is stupid and doesn't know how to use a phone..and takes forever to do things.
I was in the cue store today...and....omg...i saw the nicest skirt and this amazing coat....and they have pants..reallly nice black pants. I love that store...i just wish i had a job or a reason to dress up all nice and business and cue like every day. But first i'd have to find a job that would support my clothes shopping budget, cue is not cheap.

Anyway...i m stuck. i'll post something that i wrote last nite up here later....

Hi ho everybody.

I've been wondering about alot of things lately. Like why is it I always have odd socks? and why is it the world is a sphere..and not an oval shape...or like a rubix cube..cos that would be cool. alittle squishy though.
But no matter all this, I am still here and ready to write a blog for you all. Well my weekend was dull. I baked cookies on sunday, used all my mum's lint chocolate bunnies to make them, now she's pissed. But she likes the cookies anyway.

I have to buy mum a b'day present, i have nooooo idea what to get her. Probably a norah bloody jones cd...but i really don't want to subject the rest of the family to that.
My parents are thinking of going away for the weekend, starting Friday. So they'll probably be gone for the few days of easter, but will most likely be back for my b'day.
I shouldn't go away, too much reading I gotta catch up on. And anyway, i like being home for easter. Mite go visit grandma and my uncle and have easter lunch with them on the sunday.

Im currently researching an essay on male and female representations in bodybuilding. Should be an interesting essay. I mean i could have gone with the Mulvey feminist question but the sport of bodybuilding is reeeeaaaly weird and interesting. I mite have to watch the films pumping iron 1 & 2 - which are interesting documentry films on the subject.

I've been looking at a few websites of late, white ninja which are really weird, dark, yet humourous cartoons. Also i've taken a liking to a few cosplay sites, http://www.acparadise.com/ this one is for female cosplayers - look up the final fantasy series and you'll find some prettttty coool costumes. Most are of Yuna from FFX- but its pretty impressive to see these fans dedication to cosplay. this other site makes anime wedding dresses destiny's ending.

anyway, i got some books to find.

YAY!

two reasons I'm feeling YAY!

1. I just finished an assignment
2. I've almost downloaded all of a utada video. WOOOt. 5 minutes to go!

BUT im not so yay now.
1. because i just got burnt by scolding hot water in the bathroom. My father has a habit of using reeeeeeaaaaly hot water when washing his hands, and we all have a habit of being next to use the taps and get burnt.
2. Because stupid people. ie. My father - are asking me questions which have already been answered by myself BUT he's too fucking dumb and stupid and FUCKING IDIOTIC TO listen THE FIRST FUCKING TIME! arGHGHGEFHDJKGFSEARGHAFJKGAJK.

gfSDHYFHERJKGFEJKGFERKGTJEKFTMKLERGJUIERGFHUG.

i STIll don't feel better after that out burst.
wait.

ARghghghwguejlfrnhkfweftheidfjklwejkflfuck ehfriekfrhweufdefnjkefnsdfmuthafuckersdhfsjfjkhejksfrejsfhdjfhksefsdjkasd
nope.

sfhsdfeayfrgasdfhawjkdhrwkdrjilswjfuckwnhawsjkfhskfjiefrklefseilfhjfhkfjkswankadgsufgejgfrwjdsijdwuhwduckheadhdgahsjfsjkfhasihkasjlasdkillgsdfdhsfeufhksfhsdjfhskkillgjdjagdruawydrwuagfsfhusdfhksdfhsuaujuddfjsdfhasasfkhsdknifeufhysukhuhayihalahdalfhufJKASDLASBLadeuhukhwkadasdhawkwijwuhdfjhfdsfhjssfhshfkiwiBaka!

okay. i think im done.

Im thinking about not doing honours. I was thinking about doing it - but i don't think i want to write a 12,000 word essay. I mean im sure i could write one, and honours would look reeeeaally cool on a resume somewhere, but honestly i think i just want to get on with it. At first - my first year i was having a hard time I just was miserable for most of the year. I totally got all caught up with doing my assignments and all I wanted to do was get out of there and finish this damn course. And then last year things got harder work wise, but things were also looking better. Some how having lisa there kinda balanced things out. And this year, well i don't see lisa much...or any one else other than Theo - which is okay cos me and theo hang at shoppo - we are insider shoppo hangers - and i don't mind looking at guy stuff and we talk about cool shirts and belts and stuff. And theo has another fantastic idea - start a cleaning company. Yeah. he can do the cleaning, i have a deep hatred for anything that requires using a vacuum cleaner. But on the upside if i clean the house tomorrow i'll get 40 bucks.
But getting back on track - this year I finally feel comfortable. Like i know what Im doing, and its great because Im starting to find people i like. And everyone else i know will be there longer than me..and i kinda don't want to miss out on being there for another year. I feel like another year and then I will be ready to get out of there..i don't mind the idea of honours, honestly because i'll get to spend more time doing things i finally like. Im loving my radio subject, im just bummed that i couldn't do more subjects last year...But now im thinking the post-grad thing might be a good idea.
Maybe it is time to move on from latrobe. in 2002 all i wanted was to leave, and now im here im finding it hard to want to. But its been my plan to do this post-grad thing or do jmc academy after i get my BA. so maybe now is the time. I feel like I haven't done enough in my life, and i just want to do as much as I can now. I don't know why now is so important, but I need to get out there now and start experiencing more things. And career wise, fuck the part time job - i'll never get one, i should be thinking about what I want to do and radio is looking pretttty good to me right now. But we'll see. who knows, in a few months i mite hate it. But i doubt that, right now i doubt that. Anyway the post grad is just a year...at swinburn..arghhh...down near our old hang out - glenferrie road. woot. oooh viva. mAYBE i'll apply for honours and post grad..and if i get honours i'll take it..and if i don't i go for the post grad..but if i don't get offered that then i'll do...something else. .....hmmm. Or maybe i should take a year off? work? get some money happening so i can pay for the post grad. and pay off my hecs. I feel like i should keep studying though...i'll look into some other options. see if i can find a music course or something. Im just afraid if i take a year off i'll totally slack off..and i'll forget how to write essays and such. I mean the day when i won't have to ever write an essay will be...the greatest day of my life...but until then i don't wanna slack off too much. anyway. OOh its downloaded...my utada video..that i've been trying to download since sometime last year..........finally.

boogie on down:
Koffee Brown - quickie
Pulp fiction soundtrack - Jungle boogie
Timbland & magoo feat missy E - up jumps the boogie
Eddie Kendricks - boogie down
Kenny loggins - footlose
Irene Cara - Flash dance (what a feeling)

Ninja's and Pirates

i'll finish this tomorrow.

Ok. so here it is. the blog i said i'd write again. But now i don't feel the need to write up the same stuff as yesterday, so this will just be about today and the previous couple of days i suppose.

I've realised that my internet at home is stupid and doesn't refresh blogspot pages.
anyway. i think i've done some thing stupid. I volunteered my services to the la trobe channel 31 tv program. Which is cool. But this means now i have responsibility.
BUT to any of you out there with nothing to do on monday @ 2pm come along to the athenaeum theatre(did i spell that right?) 188 collins street for a darren and brose comedy festival gig. It should be greeaat. and for those of u who like their prey young, i believe a few high schools will be there so come along and check out the show and sum chicks mate. But it'll be full of uni humour and these guys always put on a good show so come along. Im not sure if it'll cost you anything - bring money in case - but probably not. Well i dunno..i mean i know i will be getting in for free.
And i mite as well help them out monday, i mean...i got nuthing better to do.

Meanwhile, i applied for a job yesterday! woot go me. You should see my resume. its damn funky now. Its amazing what a change of font and a few lil lines can do for you!
I've been thinking for awhile now to change this blog skin. I found a great one of beyonce and it even plays music...when i can be bothered i'll change it. But changing requires re-doing the tag board and the comments. Not that its hard, its just annoying. Please TAG my lil board. it's feeling lonely. and please write me some comments. nothing stupid. i don't want to be flooded by annoying useless comments again.

also i'll update my website again soon, i'll change the pictures and buttons around again, i've recently cleaned up the site and my geocities account cos it was full of old pictures and stuff. And i mite put up a few select pictures or something. There haven't been any new pictures for awhile.

I've also been writing again. I've decided maybe its time to get myself motivated and write something about what i know about life. I was thinking of having only two or three characters and creating some kind of relationship between them. But i don't really want some joey-pacey-dawson love triangle thing cos thats been done to death. Also i've been writing lyrics. maybe soon i'll put some up here. Cos i mean that was the original point of this blog to post lyrics and stufff up. My own lyrics - i usually post other people's stuff cos it means something to me at the time.

I was talking to james the other nite. (i think he's avoiding me on the net - like most ppl- or thats just paranoia talking) and he was making his own blog which is v.cool - but he said that i was a blog queen cos i have soooooooo many archives etc. Well basically cos i've been doing this for awhile pretty consistently. Well rite now i've decided to look back on my blog - see what I've written. And im really still as confused about things as i was two years ago.

Nothing has changed. And thats pretty depressing really. Im still single. But im not crushing on two guys as I was back in April 2002. I couldn't remember who the second guy was but now i've figured it out lol.

So much has changed though. How i feel about things. Instead of wanting to be in a relationship - if u read those blogs from 2002 i was pretty interested in those things, i have a lot of blogs/rants about relationships - but right now i choose to be like this. I am single by choice now it seems. And im okay with it. Seriously. I am okay with it. But i guess right now im falling back into that "bUT IT would be nice to kinda have someone.." thinking. But if all i do when im with someone is wish i was somewhere else with someone better than maybe its best not to even bother with these things.
So i shall become a nun and live happily ever after with a cat and eat chocolate for when ever i get 'those' cravings.

If you read blogs from March 2003 you'll see im very much depressed with being by myself. But honestly, I must like the single life..*shruggs* i dunno. its just i don't feel the need, and im glad im like that. That im not one of those people who needs someone constantly for comfort ot reassurance. Maybe this means that i've accepted who i am and who im going to be. Maybe this means im happy with life and where im at right now. and thats not such a bad thing is it?

i just wrote a blog. and now its gone.

fuck it. i'll write it again later.

'I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.'

I feel like I've been wondering around. Lost in my own thoughts for too long. I feel like Im waiting to wake up any moment now and all this will be a dream. The un-satisfying ending, but an ending and a beginning to all of this. I suppose i would feel cheated if I was to wake up and realise everything I'd ever known so far was only a dream. But sometimes I feel like im watching life rather than living it. I've always feared growing up. Getting older. and wasting my life. I think I'm wasting my life right now. This time next year, i don't know where i'll be. I had it all planned out - and then i went to university and my plan changed slightly. Now its changed indefinitely. So now I fear not being able to get a job, now I fear all my dreams have died, now I fear the change that's to come. Some how this litany of fear is comforting. Some how the ideas within it, the thought of it is almost calming like it would be to the fictional bene gesserits. But my world is non-fiction. There are so many realities within realities. One person's lifestyle would seem extreme compared to mine or vice versa.

'To the world you are one person - but to one person you are the world.'
Is this how I used to think it would be like? That I would be stuck here, living this mundane existance. Im confused about a few things at the moment. I read something the other day - about things I already knew about myself, but seeing it written, from another total neutral point of view was alittle scary. Maybe i do need to change my ways. About how i play the game. As i was watching today, 'Love is a game. Easy to start. Hard to finish.'
When i say game - i could be refering to the game of life..etc. depends on how you want to interpret that. I know how you all will anyway. so that was pointless. anyway.


sneaker pimps - walking zero
blondie - heart of glass
de la soul - stakes is high
new order - blue monday
sweetbox - unforgiven
pete murray - please
basement jaxx - get me off


Im drowning in what pity is left for you
here in my heart only darkness surrounds
what i used to believe in was you
Now only i remain
i feel the weight of the world on my shoulders
you've drained me emotionally.
I want to walk on my own
i can do it without you
i know that it'll hurt you
But im too tired to care

Whats happened? to all of us. What happened to the traditional forms of communication? No one writes letters anymore. Letters were personal, usually hand written. And there is no other feeling quite like it when you recieve a letter in the post. Someone out there cared enough to write you a letter, stamp it, then send it. But the traditional methods of communication concerning the letter is beginning to die now that Email has become the most common form of communication on the internet. Its quicker, you don't have to deal with ques at the post office just to buy one stamp and the other person is just one click away from the send button on your screen. But email is one of most annoying things ever invented, because its become a chore. You need to always be checking for junk mail, you get sent these stupid chain-letter emails, and usually viruses and other nasty thingys get sent to your inbox. The only thing Post mail has to worry about is the odd anthrax letter, but that sort of thing usually only happens in America.
But the other point I wish to make is how impersonal emails can be. Okay, i have had the odd occasion where someone sends me an email, and its the most expressive thing and a true insight into the other other person's mind, but usually its the "Hi, how you going" type of email. I can have conversations like those any time. But email has become the way we all communicate with each other now. Its good, because it can reach everyone quickly and it doesn't cost a thing if ur using a public computer and hotmail. So it does have its advatages when organising events and things alike.

My other concern is the lack of telephone conversations. We now use msn, icq, irc, aim etc. We chat sometimes once a day, a few times a week. Most people now have mobile phones, which means you can reach people anywhere, no matter where they are - as long as they have good reception. So we chat on our computers, we chat on our phones using text messages. But what happened to the long phone conversation? The one that went for longer than an hour, where you'd stay up all night just talking about anything and everything. The kind that leaves you feeling afterwards that now you really know a person. And just like mail, getting a phone call from a desired person or from a friend is also one of those little pleasures in life we sometimes take for granted. Speaking now from my own experinces of late, i don't talk on the phone as much as I used to, like back in Highschool i would be on the phone to one of my friends every single night. But since everyone has gone their own ways, I hardly hear from some people unless their on the internet. And sometimes talking to them on the internet is so different to what it would be like if we were to talk in person, that i just choose not to talk to them while on msn or icq. Because the conversation really would go nowhere, like so many I have with alot of people. And I prefer to talk in person to alot of people, because that's how we met, that how we are friends. From the conversations and meetings we've had. Not from the long night chat conversations. I don't meet many people over chat anymore because I got bored of the same old thing, the same typical "getting to know you" conversations that usually start with some horny nerd on the other end wanting to see a picture of myself and asking if i have a bf.
And why would someone in the US want to know if I have a bf? their too far away it shouldn't even concern them (unless it concerns the content of the chat).

Now, we are too lazy to pick up the phone, pick up a pen and paper. Or are we too "busy". What's so important that we can't take just ten minutes, 15 minutes of our time to write a letter or call someone? But it seems we're never too busy to blog or to meet up with people for a couple of drinks or a movie.
This blog is just an example of what free time I have. I have archived blogs from 2001, from when i first began this blog to now. Some even have two - three blogs that they keep up in their free time. I always have time to come online, like i always have time to write in-between classes at uni, during those breaks I could write a letter. And sometimes I did. Back in first year I wrote heaps of letters, but i never sent them. But i have a blog, so now instead of writing letters and telling people how im doing or how i feel - people can just look on this site and get some sort of idea of my going-ons and happenings. So that means basically once people read my blogs, then i see them in person or talk on the phone - every time i mention something they just say 'Yeaah, i read your blog'. Im glad people are reading it, but now i have nothing to say cos you've read it already.
But now instead of calling people, writing emails to people etc, we just look at a person's blog. I admit it, i read blogs. I love blogs and online diaries. I read some frequently, and others less so. But its now got to that stage where all we do is read blogs and diaries online. And now all i do is write these for you. And i don't get any feedback from any of you, so I feel like this is a one-way conversation - and its become a conversation with myself. I used to nag people to read my blog, now i don't have to because this blog is the thing that stands between me and other people. This is what people refer to when they want to know something about me. When they can't be bothered to call me they read my blog instead. Now everyone knows i talk alot, and i probably could talk about myself a whole lot more than I do on here. This is not an accurate report on my life though. Due to censorship reasons, and for the sake of some people, I do not write everything. And it angers me that some people just read this blog, and then don't bother to call me or talk to me when they could get so much more out of me than they could out of this blog. But then again, this blog is me right? what i write here is me? At least some part of me. And i don't like how some people are using blogs as a battle ground for their own hate and insecurities. If there is a problem with someone, fix it. Don't just talk about it. If you really care about the people around you, don't just call them or a be a friend to them when it suits you. Don't just say, 'I do care.' but how? By reading a blog? We all do this, we all have limited our communication by creating these blogs. I admit that i am also at fault by taking the time to read a blog, instead of writing an email.


Lets get a little communication back into our lives, considering we are living in a communication rich age, where the ability to speak to someone is only One phone call away, or even just a text message. Be impersonal if you have to. But it would be nice to see sometimes just one person taking the time out of their 'busy' lives and just say hello. So how come its so hard for us to communicate? How come its so difficult to just be honest and say what you mean and feel? If we have all this technology, if we could call someone at anytime we want to and just have a chat, then how come we can't do it? Is it because we feel no need to? or because we don't want to?


if you have any opinions, or understood the above HUGE paragrahs please leave a comment or write in the tagboard. thanks.

playlist

Johnny Lang - Breakin' Me
Taking Back Sunday - You're so last Summer
Utada Hikaru - Letters
Yellowcard - Way away
Usher - Yeah
DC - so beautiful
Hanson - penny and me (i've been watching the clip of the video Over and Over and Over)

Random thought:
That Zac Hanson is so hot right now.

Idea for a post:

The internet, blogs, and You.

Want to know how im feeling? because reading this saves making a phone call - or bothering to contact me. But im not gonna make it easy on you. The song lyrics below are almost exactly how i felt about half an hour ago. Rite now, i don't feel anything except this numb feeling..........because i no longer care.


How's it going to be - third eye blind

I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore,
Before you take a swing, I wonder what are we fighting for,
When I say out loud, I want to get out of this, I wonder,
Is there anything I'm going to miss, I wonder
How's it going to be, When you don't know me,
How's it going to be, When you're sure I'm not there,
How's it going to be, When there is no one there to talk to,
Between you and me, 'Cause I don't care,
How's it going to be,
How's it going to be,

Where we used to laugh, There's a shouting match,
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch,
A silence I can't ignore,
Like . . The hammock by the doorway we spent time in, Swing empty,
don't see lightning like last fall when it was always about to hit me, I wonder

How's it going to be, When it goes down,
How's it going to be, When you're not around,
How's it going to be, When you find out there was nothing,
Between you and me, 'Cause I don't care,
How's it going to be,

How's it going to be
When you don't know me, any more
And How's it going to be

Want to get myself back in again,
The soft dive of oblivion.
Want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion, oblivion

How's it going to be, When you don't know me, anymore,
How's it going to be,
How's it going to be,
How's it going to be.

I've been asleep all day. well almost all day. Saturday nite I went out with shazz to saratoga. very cool, but tiny place. Then we went to zimmer(?) down st kilda way, which is one funky cooooool as place with lots of comfy couches and nicceee musssic. Didn't get home till 5:30 - then about 5 minute later my brother also arrived home. I stayed up on the couch playing FFX for about an hour, then at 6:45 decided that i should probably sleeeep. Woke up at 8:30 on Sunday. And i was like the walking dead - or waking dead. I had like no sleep but somehow i was awake all of yesterday tilll that nite when we were watching Moulin rouge on tv, then i just closed my eyes for a second and woke up during the end credits. That is stillll one of the most entertaining films i've ever seen.......but i suppose it would have been good if i was awake for the film last nite. After that To die for was on...which is one of my faaaaave films. But i fell asleep through that also and ended up sleep walking to bed at about 3am. So now im still catching up on sleeep...i was lazing around on the couch earlier watching the goodies and i fell asleeeeeeep again. My eyes feel tired...my skin feels tight on my face, and if i was to lie down right now i'd probably sleep some more.
I had KFC yesterday...went all out. I had the buger, the chicken, the graaavy, the chips. it was sooo good. oooh i could go for some fried chickeeen rite now..



playlist:
joss stone - fell in love with a boy
chemical brothers - come with us
sweetbox - unforgiven

Im bored. Entertain me!!!!

I don't finish till 2pm todaay...and its gonna be 38 or something like that degrees....grrr. I like hot weathe..But not when i have to take public transport home. I just spent wayy too much money one books for two of my uni subjects. Well when i finish class i'll meet theo afterwards, we're gonna get our cards updated and then prolly go to shoppo and hang. lol. we're shoppo hangers now...hehe. I do still have a craving for kfc though. I want to start saving money now. But ittsss so hard when you don't have any money to begin with.

I had 52 new emails in my atsroboy email. some of them were interesting. Most were about stupid sailormoon fan fiction shit that i don't care about. Im sure i've ranted on about this before..BUT it really givess me the shits. Im thinking of unscribing to that email list because its just soo fucking annoying. i got class in a few mins. mite go now.
cyaaa

Im trying to recreate the dashboard experience with a copy of a live show that was taped awhile ago - and i downloaded it awhilleee ago. like last year...but its coool. nice and live.
Im excited today. had a good class at uni. And i just looked up a utada hikaru site and her new album will be released in MAY! woot. thats not too far away. the new hanson stuff will be released in April in japan and americaa...dunno about Oz though.
I was at eb today....i stood and stareeed at the FFx-2 games on the shelves for a good minute. Im thinking maybe i should do the trade two ps2 games and only pay 50 bucks..but i dunno what games to trade. I was thinking the bouncer maybe..and something else we don't play often...but we don't have a lot of games anyway..so...i dunno. but its an idea..i would get the game sooner that way. But i have a cunning plan. So cunning you could brush your teeth with it.

Im still reeling from last night. It seems like it happened in a dream now. But i know I was there - my clothes are outside airing - the smell of smoke and beer attached to the fibers. I woke up at 10 am, to my cat who was begging for food and to my dog who was wondering around the house, her paws scratching the floorboards.
I was right, I knew i would have a hard time speaking today. I sung my lungs out last night - like the rest of the crow at the Hi-fi bar. so right now, my attempts at dashboard's "swiss army romance" is terrible. lol.
Im not going to uni today, because yesterday i spoke with my lecturer for radio and i've signed up for wednesday's class, so lucky me gets mondays and tuesday's off. Im still tired, didn't get home till 1am. I stayed up alittle longer sitting on the couch watching 'just for laughs' and some weird show afterwards while eating left over safeway salads and doritos. that might explain why im not hungry now. But i feel like i could sleep again.
I just felt the need to play dashboard songs this morning, since the songs have been swimming in my head all night long. I couldn't go back to sleep before because 'ghost of a good thing' was playing in my head.
The gig last night started at 7:30, the bands b4 them were pretty cool actually. I can't remember the name of the first band but the singer was hot, and Blueline medic played and they were pretty good. My brother will be jealous that i saw them, hehe.
Lisa told me the plan for the night before we got into the venue, while we were eating her KFC chips. Go straight to the merchandise table then straight to side of stage for a good view. So we picked up a teeshirt and some badges each (im now broke, i only have three dollars left in my wallet and that's supposed to get me to uni for the rest of the week), and headed down to the gathering crowd. We met up with Mark and Melissa in the pit, watched teh first band from there and then headed up to the left side of the stage on some stepss which weren't the most comfortable spot, but we had a clear view of the stage. So we watched blueline, then waited a good 40 minutes for dashboard to start. Once the stage went dark, the crowd was just hyped. And chris dashboard walks out onto the stage and plays like first two songs acoustic and the crowd was nuts just singing along. The whole show was just purely amazing. The acoustic songs, they played a cover of Wheatus' 'teenage dirtbag' which wassss coooool! lol i actually like that song now that they played it. They played like two new songsss and they were prettty goooood. I tried to learn the words to a few songs from the new album - but i was stuck only knowing the choruses forn most..lol BUT all the old stuff was great. Chris doesn't even need to sing, the crowd does it for him. He could have a gig of just instrumental stuff and the crowd would do the rest for him.
Actually they played one song, it was really short it wall all instrumental very cool though. The band just kept adding more songs to the set list - so instead of a 11:30 end the show went to about 12 i think. It was very very cool. Just blew me away how amazing Chris is. He has this amazing presence on the stage, and just being apart of that audience last night was amazing. OKay. im over using the word Amazing here - but reallly no word comes close to howwww good dashboard was last night. but one word describes chris dashboard - HOT. yes indeedie. Overalll it was a great night, i wish i could hear dashboard play every night, i wish i could have the dashboard hoodie i like, i wish i could have Chris - and he could write sad songs about me - But right now i wish for some KFC. it may only be 11 am today, but KFC sounds really good right now.
Im so excited about my DC tee shirt - i mite wear it to uni tomorrow. hehee. but after seeing dashboard last nite made me realise i really should go buy one of their records - cos im a bad fan with all my illegal downloads....umm..anyway.
im gonna go find some junk food. KFC. nahhh...i think today im gonna be a lounge lizard and just play some FFX. while listening to dashboard. hehe, yeaaaa.

cyaaaa! *muaaah*

So Beautiful - Dashboard Confessional

I heard that you were home again
But you don't look like you're back to me.
Well, if your focus is changing,
Your gaze is transfixed on the part I cannot see.

You've got your new ties.
I've got my old lies.
You've got your inside line
But you're never happy with what you've got.

Careful now, you're so beautiful
When you've convinced yourself
That no one else is quite as beautiful

I heard that you were living well
But you don't look like you're living to me.
Although the sparkle is gone,
Your smile is in place so that everyone watching will see.

You've got them all convinced,
And I know it so well.
That you have missed your friends
But you can count on them.

Hold it now, you've got everyone convinced
That you're alright.
No one else is quite as wrong with it.

As soon as you've got it you want something else.
It's not the sell that you love, it's yourself.
It's the not price that's gonna cost you.
It's just the weight that's gonna bring you
Down, down, down, down
It's gonna bring you down, down, down, down, down

Hold it now.
You've got everyone convinced that you're alright.
No one else is quite as beautiful.

Careful now, you're so beautiful
When you've convinced yourself
That no one else is quite as beautiful

As soon as you've got it you want something else.
It's not the sell that you love, it's yourself.
It's the not price that's gonna cost you.
It's just the weight that's gonna bring you
Down, down, down, down
It's gonna bring you down, down, down, down, down

Careful now, you're so beautiful
When you've convinced yourself
That no one else is quite as beautiful

As soon as you've got it you want something else.
It's not the sell that you love, it's yourself.
It's the not price that's gonna cost you.
It's just the weight that's gonna bring you
Down, down, down, down
It's gonna bring you down, down, down, down, down

"Never mind the sloppy mess I left on your jacket,
I didn’t mean to rip your heart out "

broken glass
shattered windows
smashed table
splintered chair



playlist:
joy division - love will tear us apart
nelly furtado - try
run dmc - its like that
dashboard - as lovers go
michelle branch - find my way back

now i don't know how i should feel.

I've had such a good day. And I found my self sitting on the bus on the way home just thinking about what to write about today here. Well first off I spent some quality time with lisa in the city, then we met up with steve and made our way over to Federation Square for the channel V Detour thing, and hid inside until it was safe to come out when The Cat Empire started their set. Then we emerged and went to the cool bar cafe type place which had a good view of the stage and had some chips and drinks. Then we saw CHRIS from dashboard - Melissa was like, "Is that him?" And i was like "Ohh yeah it is!"
so we left and got our photo taken...then after that realised how stupid it was that we were finally meeting HIM and all we said was "can we have a photo?" So finally after a bit we went back, he signed my note pad and steve's unopened cigg box (which shall remain un-opened to preserve its value!!!) and then we sat down near by. Finally saw dashboard play at like 5 something, and they only played twp songs! Soo glad im going to the gig on monday....im sooo excited about it.
There was alittle drama today..but it was a great day overall. Im so happy i met chris dashboard - he is like a god/idol. I wish i could write lyrics and songs like his. It was just amazing meeting him, he was really cool. I only wish i had said more...stuff - other than blurting out my "And i really like your music" line. lol.
But i had a great time - rolled on grass with mark - ate chips with lisa (i've seen alot of chips today) - did weird dancing - saw Kim from mlc - and I SAW DASHBOARD. wooooot.

okay that's all from me.

i'll post some lyrics tomorrow or something...ideas im working on or stuff i've got. I've been in a writing mood of late and i'd like some feedback.

playlist:
Howie Day - More you understand
Thrice - Artist in the ambulance
Muse - time is running out

random thought:
orlando? Orlannnndo...orlando. hmmm...

mood:
bored. *looks around the room...*


Where are my comments? they have disappeared. that's weird. mite be something odd....i'll fix it later.
As you can all tell, i am bored. very very bored. I have my Tv back in working order now...but im still bored.
For those who didn't know, my tv decided to break down on Sunday afternoon and wasn't fixed and returned to me till tuesday afternoon. lol and after some confusing conversations with lisa and carlos about taping with a vcr (which you can't do if you don't actually have a tv). But thankfully my tv was back in time for last night's episode of Alias! WOOt.
This morning i finished my game of Kingdom hearts - nice ending - can't wait for the sequel. But the secret ending at the end credits didn't make a whole lotta sense..but damn it looked cool. So im looking forward to the sequel now ;)
Tomorrow afternoon at 4pm - DASHBOARD at Fed square. woot. also 28 days and cat empire will be there...but no one really cares about them....well i reckon it mite be cool to see them but no one else thinks so cos their not interested anyway.

well im so bored. im gonna go watch some homestar runner stufff i guesss....and fix those comments.

Yes I am an Addict.
Im addicted to Final Fantasy. I need to go on some 12 step program, a support group or even rehab to cure my self of this addiction. BUT i can't help it if the characters are soo cool - if the story and plot is exciting - or even if the lead male characters are hot. It's not my fault im addicted. I BLAME the video games stores - damn EB for slowly leading me on with their enticing games and pretty FFX-2 posters in the shop windows. I've been waiting almost a year for the sequel to FFX and finally my wait is almost over. I can't wait to have that game in my hands, the white PS2 game cover, the cd, the PS2 controller in my hand as I play the game i've been anticipating for - I'll be disappointed with the vocals of Jade from sweetbox on the english versions of the jpop songs I've so dearly loved and listened to constantly for the past (approx)6 months. BUT i want so dearly to hear the opening lines, to see the FMV sequences in all their glory - to play the game and have job classes and spheres and TIDUS AND WAKKA in my gaming life again. *sigh* I'll go insane if i don't play this game soon, if i don't purchase myself a copy of it. I could have my brother buy it, but i want to buy it myself - like i did with FFX. It was the best $99.95 dollars i've ever spent (and then six months later it went platnium and only cost $50 - but a six month wait would have been too long). Meanwhile my game of Kingdom hearts is going along nicely. Very close to finishing the game, will take me a while longer i still got some ass to kick - such as the ass of a bad guy from FFVII hehe...now that will be a challenge. Im excited though, i want to start the game again already. ahhh.....maybe i should finish KH off b4 i start thinking about FFX-2....BUT I CAN'T HELP IT. i need to stay away from all EB stores forawhile...they just make me go alittle odd...and i start breathing funny when i see FFX-2 on the shelf and then and then...OH NEVER mind. ITS only just a game - THATS What your all thinking. YOu all think im immature, i need to grow up, get over this unhealthy obsession of sitting in front of the PS2. Well i don't play PS2 often, if i was on it 24/7 i would have finished all my games by now...and im half way in most of them. And anyway, PS2 is usually better than watching TV considering the shows that are on offer by the stations at the moment.
My personal favourite reality tv show is that Paradise Hotel - exciting stuff. But seriously....there is too much shit on tv at the moment. the worst is 'WHO wants to marry my dad?' but wait...i think that the hot house is pretty crappp too. Meanwhile the most exciting game shows on tv is deal or no deal and those damn shiny gold suitcases.
So while i could watch day time television, or crappy late nite movies on channel 9, i sometimes prefer my PS2 and the magical worlds of disney and Final fantasy. but tonite i think i'll give it a rest. im gonna go do something old fashioned..im gonna read a book.
nite all.

AHHH. the morning. its 9:08 am. I've been awake for an hour now. Im only online because i needed to get a bus time table for the day, but i thought since im here mite as well blog for a bit.
But after logging in and getting this far - I realise i have nothing to blog except to say that YOU PEOPLE SUCK.
Im so sick of people doing stupid shit while drunk. AND im sick of stupid people! in my eyes YOUR ALL STUPID (but some people are naturally smart - but most are stupid) - for example - THE STUPID PPL AT KFC ELTHAM - didn't give us our coleslaw WHICH WE PAID EXTRA FOR - AND THEY TAKE FOREVER AT THE DRIVE THRU! OMG i was thinking at the time "JUST PICK YOUR FUCKING TOY AND MOVE ON" bloody annoying customers who take up MY precious time at the drive-thru. That's the point of drive thru isn't it? So you don't have to go inside the restaurant and deal with annoying customers and staff?!
And to add to this rant, I was so annoyed yesterday about things i heard from other ppl - and to make things worse im not having an easy time at home. Family politics prevented me from going out last nite, damnnnn it just makes me wanna rebel. but in my parents eyes i've done enough of that. Which is funny cos i could have been alot worse off in my early teen years. Parents are stupid. AND i was watching rage today and how the fuck did some of that bad australian pop shit get on the charts - THERE ARE STUPID PEOPLE EVERYWHERE - and they are all buying crap CDS! NOW today im going out. Im seeing lisa and nat hopefully. Which im excited about. because they are not stupid. SO finally i'll be around none stupid ppl - WHICH would be a first for this week (except for the other day with lis & carlos).


Meanwhile next thursday channel V is doing something at Fed Square - dashbaord will be there so if anyone wants to go - buzz me!!!!!!

well im off. GOOD BYE STUPID PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've changed my layout as you can see.

Its much prettier at the moment. I found this great site www.blogskins.com which has lots of different skins for your blog. And its great for me because im html challenged, so i can use skins created by other smart people! its great! Rite now im fixing my web blog comments system. Im deciding wether or not to have them - because now i have a little tag board which suits me just fine - but i like the idea of individual comments for each blog. Now i just gotta remember which name and password i used for the damn haloscan site!

Im visiting lisa today. we are going to do a site for her. She needs my help - but she doesn't need my help scanning! lol she made it quiet clear yesterday when she misunderstood my offer of help. I've never doubted her scanning skills, lol. but she needs my help in setting up a website, so today we'll go through the options. Im thinking of starting a msn group for everyone. Especially for those who don't have a website but would like to share photos and files with people in our group. I've been toying with this idea for awhile. Of course an msn group isn't as cool as ecircles but i'd rather go with the free option.

well i'd better get ready and do something today.
more later - i've got stuff to post about the orange job i went for - and i haven't got the job yet - but im having a dilemma.

playlist:
enrique - not in love
utada - wait and see
next feat 50 cent - jerk

American idol is on tv right now. So this will be quick.

Valentine's day isn't so bad after all. And its not bad when you spend it with friends. Because even if i don't have a significant other to spend the day with i can still use the day to express my love for my friends. And i loveeee all my friends heaps. So last nite was spent down brunswick street - a year exactly since we were there last. And i had a few drinks, talked alittle and had a nice time. Had a good convo with steve - he's not a bad person to chat with and he bought me a drink and was then pov after that - so that was nice of him. lol it was valentines day and the only person to buy me a drink was my x bf. explain that one. haha.

It was sooo hot last nite and today though. I slept on the couch when i got home...we were watching a chris farley film on tv...lol it was pretty funny from what i remember of it. But i slept pretty well until early this morning...but it was soo hot. I can't stand it even now. I had a nap on the couch earlier today and even then it was hard to sleep...what i can't stand though is annoying ppl who talk while im trying to sleep. And then they try talking to you! I was half asleep..and very grumpy after that. i was in a bad mood for a bit...i don't like my naps interrupted. and in this weather - don't mess wit me.

i've been told by lisa that there is a pool party at street's tonite. I mite go. anyway i want to get my present off lisa..hehe she got me a huge plastic baby bottle filled with those lil wrapped up marshmellows. hehe. can't wait to eat them. Lisa was my valentines for the nite anyway...but for some reason i don't think i was hers.


playlist:
outkast - i like the way you move
tamia - its a party
maroon 5 - this love

i left out one high light.

and it was silly of me to forget...because i had heaps of fun.

14. lis and i dancing our socks off to reel big fish 'take on me' - its now officially our song :)

hey cats. wat up

im at my dad's work at the moement. weird ppl work here. and the lady in this room at the other computer talks while she's typing. it's scaring me.

well im here at my dad's work in camberwell because i have a job interview today. WOOHOO.
I got a call yesterday from the orange mob shop and now i have an interview at 10:30. i had so much trouble deciding what to wear today - my terribly sunburnt back is now peeling and looks ICCKY ICCKY EWWW soo my plans to wear my funky yellow - yet appropriate- top went out the window. Instead im sitting here in my black skirt, my cue shirt, denim jacket and my black shoes with the cute pink flower cut out. okaay the shoes mite be alittle out of place, but its still okay. I just have to be confident and everything will work out. Shame about the weather though, i did my hair all pretty and its raining outside - sooo its gonna be frizz by the end of the day.

i changed the wallpaper on my dad's comp. looks much better now hehe. it's a naruto wallpaper. Damn no messenger on this comp...i could download it..hehe.

my brother told me i should check out the comic's r us store at ringwood. i'll be passing thru there today..so maybe i will.. i'd like some manga comics...but i've only got 15 dollars todaaay...soo at least 6 bucks will go to public transport...and i did want breakfast at macca's.

I came back.
I almost went insane.
I almost went skinny dipping.
I was almost broke till 11am - now i am broke - no money for me
I almost went home - instead i went to a gig - and now im home
BUt only almost.

I feel so out of it right now. My head is swimming somewhere..my hearing is buggered. Im tired, my feet and legs hurt from standing too long.

Lisa and I have put down this tiredness to a number of things:
1. lack of sleep
2. too much alcohol
3. lack of food
4. too much traveling

BUT the week just been hasn't been all bad, all tiring or all good. so here are some of my highlights of the past week: (not in any particular order...just looks good with numbers next to it)
1. ian giving klein a lapdance
2. 5AM walks on the beach
3. Skinny dipping - but i only took my top off...so not quite.
4. vodka & midori jelly
5. dancing to DMX 's Up in here all week.
6. Possum prowling where there are no possums.
7. the adventure playground with many swings and a boy named Tom or JAKE or DJ.
9. Having a REAL coffee and chips for breakfast with Lis and Rach.
10. Sparklers
11. Discovering that our next door neighbours were hot.
12. learning how to lapdance...and grace totally taught me everything i know.
13. being drunk almost every night - except friday night

more stuff happened...and im ignoring some events of the week. But these are just some of the good things which i think we need to focus on and realise that it wasn't such a bad week afterall. Anglesea was just an amazing week last year and this year was good - but i think alot of us have changed and situations have changed since then so comparing Torqay wouldn't be fair...but i had a good week overall.. and i hope everyone else who came had a good time too.

now im gonna listen to some music i've been wanting to hear all week and then im gonna watch some stuff and then fall sleep. so good night.

Im going away! yay!

playlist:
basment jaxx- good luck
kevin little - turn me on
& r&b stuff i've put on a dodgy cd.

I made a cd b4...and my fucking program fucked up on me. I really need to get nero or something..cos i can't stand this shitty fucking roxio shit anymore!
So now i have one fucked up cd and one sorta decent one. sooo thiss is pathetic..and these stupid mp3s don't even run properly..grr..

anyway.
I've been looking ahead at my horroscopes of late...and i thought that since i'll be away..here is a seven day forecast - so those of u reading can look it up and see what MITE or mite not be happening in my world for while i am away in torquay.
NINEMSN astrology stuff:

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
Sun February 1, 2004
Mercury and Chiron come together as the Moon clashes with Pluto. This will be a testing day for communications. Ride out the stresses of any arguments and try to discern what's being said underneath. Clashes with authority won't be won, so negotiate. If you learn from mistakes, you'll grow. Secrets or secret deals will cause problems so keep everything out in the open. Take particular care in traffic.

Mon February 2, 2004
The Sun and Neptune dance together today so cruise control will be your best option. You may be able to get what you want without even trying. Reflect on your hopes and wishes. Make sure you're not stepping away from important ideals - be guided by them always. Time spent with a friend may well serve a greater purpose. Creative or spiritual contacts play an important part in your day.

Tue February 3, 2004
Warrior Mars surges into earthy Taurus so your focus is on finances. The Ram is often a creature of the last minute rush, using dash and flair to finish the things that could have been done weeks ago. Set your priorities then get going on them. You're as determined as any Bull when you want to be. Start now and don't stop till things are done.

Wed February 4, 2004
The Moon sails through Cancer and your solar fourth house today, so emotional and domestic matters are high on your list of priorities. As the lovely lunar Light has crossed the path of sober Saturn, such things could have more than the usual importance. There are big decisions to be made and parents or older family members are likely to play a part in things. Don't be rash and take time out to reflect.

Thu February 5, 2004
There may be a parting of the ways if you don't watch your step. The decisions you make, especially regarding friends and money will have significant consequences. If you want to make a stand or go your own way, then be sure you're prepared to make sacrifices or accept the inevitable outcome. Much of this year is about taking charge, especially where home and money are concerned.

Fri February 6, 2004
The Moon blazes in brilliant Leo as she opposes both the Sun and mystic Neptune and you need to redefine your goals in accordance with the results so far. Creative projects need some disciplined work on your part. Children could be tricky, but romance is favoured with those who truly share your dreams. Plan a lost weekend with someone you love or doing something you really love to do.

Sat February 7, 2004
Mercury the messenger moves into Aquarius and your solar eleventh house, so friends and avid discussion will be high on your list of priorities for the following month. You can liven up your thinking and get a fresh view of your direction if you spend time talking. You may find yourself inspired to travel a new path or simply see better ways of doing things. Think laterally!

Sun February 8, 2004
Venus the Goddess moves into your sign now, giving the month ahead a passionate feel. You can race towards the horizon and take others along for the ride at the same time. You may want to give yourself a new look or just a bit of good old-fashioned nurturing. Love is definitely on the cards for some Rams and renewal of affection is there for others. An attraction for a work colleague is highly likely, but tread carefully with this one.


I'll come back after torquay and see if any of the above applies to me...probably not..but today's horroscope was pretty close to how i was feeling and acting which was interesting.
STupid cd. hate YOU! I HATE YOU CD!

anyway. have a great week everyone! i know i will have a very very very good time...and i promise not to do any drunken swimming, kiss too many boys or take neurofen with alcohol.
(i've had too many warnings in the last two days about what not to do while im away).

playlist:
Michelle Branch - 'til i get over you
Shawn Desman - SHook (uomo remix)
black eyed peas - hey mama
the starting line - Im real


It been an interesting week. Alot has happened. and i keep losing track of the days. went to chaddy today. Im pretty tired from walking around for sooo long, but it was fun. It had its ups and downs today....but i think lisa is gonna be alright. And she is strong - and will get through and over this. I though the timing of some things said were alittle inappropriate - but it was right for lisa to hear everything and i think she's now better for it. And she was eating with us so hopefully her sickness of all things food is over :) but when u feel sick - never try eating a bannana it will only make u worse. lol. not that she tried that...she was eating the cake i baked her though :)

Got the dashboard tickets - and now i've helped lisa be broke. But i'll pay her back what i owe her for the ticket which is $20.90 - if i didn't give her that extra 20 she probably wouldn't have been able to get me a ticket.....But im glad she'll be coming to dashboard its gonna rock socks if she's there - but chris dashboard could rock my socks anyway...anytime.

Im pretty tired tonite, im not going to steve's cheese and wine parteee. can't be bothered and anyway none of my chickadeees are going soo blah to that. anyway i don't think i could stand being near steve while he's drunk again...i mean..fuccck talk much?! Anyway steve only invited me when he was drunk the other nite - so the chances of him remembering would be slim..and it would be weird if i just rocked up and he'd be like "its you" and i'd be like "GAY!"
But for those kind ppl who went - tell me how it was!

well im going...maybe i'll watch something on the comp and hopefully fall asleep..i can't believe my sister is starting school tomorrow! Its alittle early..not even feb yet...anyway this means i'll only have limited use of her bus ticket..sooo damnuts no more free fun outings for me.

thought: i want some krispy kream doughnuts.
other thought: *sing* WHO ATE ALL THE PIE? - WHO AT ALL THE PIE? - YOU FAT BASTARD! YOU FAT BASTARD! - YOU ATE ALL THE PIE!

playlist:
One Voice - when you think about me
Britney - Toxic
Kevin Little - turn me on
cat empire - days like these
Shawn desman- spread my wings (remix)
Jason mraz - you and I both
Utada hikaru - simple and clean
Michelle Branch - desperately
Blaque - Im good
BoA - don't start now (english version)
Hanson - misery & underneath
John Bulter trio - Zebra
Nelly Furtado - powerless

Read:
'In the blood' + 'blood moon' series by Jackie French (teen fiction - my sister got me onto this)
Dune - the machine crusade

play-
medal of honour - ps2
kingdom hearts - ps2 (i fucked up my gamee...arghhhh)
the sims - pc.


I am covered in dust. Its in my hair. on my clothes. I mite have a bath later just to get rid this gritty feeling. I was cleaning the dust in my room, its like sawdust, and its everywhere. In every bloody corner and nook. I had to clean all my old soft toys cos they were covered it was disgusting. And some how my room has now taken on the smell of varnish and it won't go away. I have all the windows open but everything still smells like VARNISH!

I saw lisa last nite with rach. Rach came and picked me up and we stole lisa away and spent some of the nite having cake + milk, watching pathetic music videos from the 80's and having a very long conversation. But it was good. its nice to just sit down, just us girls and just talk about stuff - and hearing rach and lisa talk about their experiences and stuff makes me wonder what im gonna be like when i finall go through all that. im really not much help in the relationship department because i have no experience - but i help where i can. I hope lisa ate all that cake, i made it for her yesterday after i got off the phone with rach. I thought the best thing for when you're going through a rough time is cake - chocolate cake. Lisa said she liked it - but everyone knows my cooking isn't the best :) Remember my pink cup cakes? lol - they weren't very good.

i can't wait till dashboard. or torquay. realllly looking forward to that. should be good and fun and all that jazzyness.

some fun sites to note -
www.brightandbeautiful.org/foyk - only if u like reading hillariously funny rants by two girls who love to hate hanson.
www.utada.com - offical english island records site for utada hikaru.
www.rainbowbrite.net - 80's cartoon nostalgia
http://www.bakatoudaisei.curvedspaces.com/ - love hina site
www.80scartoons.net - very cool, links to all the cartoons we used to watch - like she-ra and others.
www.mylittlepony.com - lots of cool activites.....makes me wanna be 6 years old again.

"Your alive"
- "I am, are you?"
"Sadly, yes."



playlist:
DASHBOARD - so beautiful
Pete Murray - So beautiful
Michelle branch - all you wanted
The tea party - the messenger
Evanescence - bring me to life + going under


I need to write something here. I've been having conversations all afternoon. I can't help some people with my get over it advice it seems. Plus just saying that to someone makes me sound like an un-caring bitch which isn't me...not all of the time anyway. Im not a very good bitch though - i think i need some lessons. But i can't help everyone...and i don't know what to say all the time. I can't make someone believe in something thats not there, i can't make someone feel better about themselves. Because often they are looking for something that i can't give them, that i've found impossible to give to anyone.
I only try to be supportive, but is that even enough? I want to help, i wish i could cure someone's angst, someone's disbelief, someone's incurable hatred of themselves.
It must get so bad for someone to want to be killed, to want to be hit...to want to feel pain..anything other than nothing...than being numb.
And im no good to helping people who need it the most, because trying to relate sometimes is too hard, because i don't understand enough. I can't be the one to pick up the pieces and tape them back together...because even if thats all they need someone to pick them up. But there is only so much u can do, over the phone, on the internet...

like i said. If i could i'd send you to Canada.

Hey all!!!!!!!!

Im at Rosebud lib at the moement! woot. im making use of the public internet facilties. go me. i got a lib card and everything.
well not much has been happening at all. I've run out of dvds to watch and im stuck in my game of kingdom hearts - damn dalmations - and I saw the film Honey this morning at 9:30 am. grr...so im lacking in sleep rite now.
I read the Dune Butlerian Jihad prequel - exciting stuff..except nothing really happens in the book but there are some interesting characters that im looking forward to reading more of - and the lead female character - serena butler is suffering major relationship dramas and i love reading that stuff. And its soo over the top - i love it. But the rest of the book is a bit blah. I've learnt when reading dune books its better just to skim the large paragraphs. But the writing style isn't as good as Frank Herbert's original dune series.

I got the saves the day cd...its okay. i need some more music...im in an r&b mood since watching honey..i got Blaque song "Im good" on replay in my head...

anyway. i gtg. MUAH. see u all soooooooooooooon.

Happy new year everyone! i hope you all had fun. i know i did. and i know i got very drunk sipping on bailey's and tia maria with rach. very drunk, the ride home with my mum and brother was interesting. For one thing my mum asked me a simple question and i gave her a thousand word spoken essay as an answer. We had to pick up my brother from a party in kew, I met one of my brother's friends Robbie - who so kindly came up to the car and asked who we were waiting for - even while totally wasted this guy still had manners - very amusing. When my bro finally came out and got in the car I asked him what he had to drink and if he was as drunk as me, he said he wasn't. Of course the next morning I found my brother in bed with a bucket beside him, just in case.
I said to him "hey, i thought you weren't drunk, how much did u drink?"
and he replied, "Just the usual"..
"Ohhhhhh. yep you were trashed."

Now i've been in a weird mood since yesterday, i didn't have a hang over cos im smart and drank heaps of water b4 i went to sleep, but i've been all low in the energy since yesterday.
Today I had to move more stuff, cos we are getting the floor boards done here at home, so im moving out with my mum and my sis for a few days, a week at the most. So i probably won't blog, im gonna hide for the week and just read. or go to the beach - and read there.
I'll have my mob with me - in case those of you with my phone no feel like contacting me......cos i'll be bored......BUT I will be taking the PS2 with me...i have a game of kingdom hearts to finish. finally.

Playlist :
Beck - Tropicalia
Kelis - Milkshake
Anadivine - Alchol & Oxygen

playlist:
Noise Rachet - Crush (mandy moore cover - is good if u can get past the first 20 seconds)
Further seems forever - bye bye bye (nsync cover)
The startling line - Im real (j.lo cover)
Snuff - I think we're alone now
[[the first 3 songs in the playlist are from the Punk Goes Pop cd.]]

"Crush"

You know everything that I'm afraid of
You do everything i wish i did
Everybody wants you, everybody loves you

I know i should tell you how i feel
I wish everyone would disappear
Everytime you call me, I'm too scared to be me
And I'm too shy to say

Ooh, I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that i do
I get a rush
When I'm with you
Ooh, I've got a crush on you
A crush on you

You know, I'm the one that you can talk to
And sometimes you tell me thing that i don't want to know
I just want to hold you
And you say exactly how you feel about her
And I wonder, could you ever think of me that way

Ooh, I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that i do
I get a rush
When I'm with you
Ooh, I've got a crush on you
A crush on you

Ooh, I wish i could tell somebody
But there's no one to talk to, nobody knows
I've got a crush on you
A crush on you, I got a crush

You say everything that no one says
But i feel everything that you're afraid to feel
I will always want you, I will always love you
I've got a crush...

Does anyone remeber their first serious REAL crush. Im not talking about the Kindergarten childish ones. Or the ones we had in primary school. Im talking about the real thing, when you can't eat, you can't sleep because when you try to sleep your thinking about your crush. When you sit in classes, your distracted because your thinking about what your crush said to you the night before in that 6 hour long conversation you had. You over analyse things, you think about that second time you saw him - when you really saw him - when you thought to yourself "Hey, this time it could actually happen".
The song lyrics above remind me of that. of the last time I seriously had a crush on someone. Actually, it was my first real crush. I had a few afterwards, and im not naming names cos its embarrassing - cos those ppl may actually read this blog. And im not gonna bring up the past. But i do. lol. i regret the past. because my past is filled with 'what ifs' and that just brings me down and i lose focus of the now.

anyway. im gonna see Kill Bill this afternoon in the city. can't wait. Im looking forward to some beheading/ bloodshed/ maiming/ decapitation. i'll write more later.

this blog is incredibly superfical. I write total shit in this blog. I've been wanting to be more opinionated here...but im lacking in opinions.

I see i have 23 comments for one of my blogs. And i see that not one of those blogs contains any decent comments. I'd like to say YOU ALL SUCK. well most of u suck balls anyway - im not gonna say who. you know who you are. i take back what i originally said in an earlier post, from now on ONLY intelligent comments. You know i try to do something good for my site and you all totally trash it with stupid comments. but i should be thankful cos some ppl actually bothered. even if they wrote crap.

im stuck on a chorus. can't think of one to fit. Im getting close to working it out - but now im stuck.

Alot has happened in the last week and a bit. And alot of what has happened i wasn't there for. lol. I couldn't go to Al's party cos i came down sick that morning with some mysterious 24 hour bug that attacked my stomach - and oddly i blame my sister's cooking from the night b4 - so i missed that party and getting drukenly stupid with the others, but by the sounds of the party everyone had a great time and one massive orgy.

lisa had some problems during the week, i tried to help her our with that. And i learnt some things about ppl close to me that made me sick. But then i realised i didn't actually care. People can do what they want, that's fine. Just people need to start being responsible for their actions i think. I know we are all almost 20 or 21 and having a fucking good time getting drunk..but sometimes u gotta step back and think about what ur doing and the implications of it etc etc.
Sorry im getting all moral on you, didn't mean to. But i've had a wake up call, im not the same Ev that you all knew a week ago. NO. i've gained a deeper sense of my morals, of what i want. Essentially its still me underneath all this, but i think im less confused now. Mainly cos there is nothing left to confuse me.

anyway. i gtg. please write some comments, tell me what you think, or if u want to know something or bitch at me. All of it is welcome. just click the link comment at the bottom of this blog and away u go.

nite all. And merry christmas. *muahs*

im just tired. soo tired. and no one has written me a comment! GRRR. I know people read this. Are you scared? is that it? Is it scary to write down a line? a word? COME ON! don't be anti-social with me and TALK! let me hear your thoughts - your deepest darkest secrets - share with me your feelings on subjects ANYTHING. abuse me, do whatever as long as one of your bloody well leaves me a comment.

i was gonna write more stuff. but i can't be stuffed again. BUT if someone leaves me a comment then i shall reply here. so make it good!

ok. just testing. below this blog, after the line "posted by evesy @ blah time" is a little blue link that says 'comment' and a little number after it. I've been meaning to put some sort of comment system on this blog for awhile...and im just testing this out to see if anyone would actually bother writing me their thoughts or whatever on what i've got here. So give it a go, write crazy stuff and abuse me for the fun of it - i don't care just as long as someone uses it. someone other than me.

Im tired. my arms are sore. my feet are sore. my eyes are sleepy. My head is headachey. And people suck. I just read someone's blog and it made me wanna slap someone. And i read alot of blogs - cos other people's lives are just more interesting than my own. I decided the other day that i would write things in this blog which mean something more and something more profound than just what i did and didn't do today.

But whatever i say your all gonna judge me anyway. You will all criticise me for my bad spelling, my incorrect truths, indecisive-ness, for my ignorance and fucked up point of view. Why i do things, no matter how stupid, usually have some sort of reasoning behind it. Ok. thats not true and i knew it, but still wrote it. See i even try lying to myself somtimes. doesn't really work.

Tell me, who in this world knows what they want? What they really want. Not some half-baked idea of what they think would be nice or would like to have. Who has everything they want, is anyone truly happy? And how can someone live with their decisions - even the bad ones.
I wish i had some idea why i'm never happy, why i can't be happy. Why i have to turn everything into some dramatic tragedy.
I wish i had back what I lost. And i think im looking for that again, for a feeling. For all that time and energy i spent when i was younger being in love with idols. And now im not prepared, now im just making it up as i go and fucking it up every step of the way.
And i can't stand it. I hate myself more than anyone will know because of this, because i won't let myself fall into a trap, because i don't want to play the game but secretly want to.
I used to know what i wanted. I had it all figured out. I never really thought about relationships, boys were just something to look at. But maybe now i see that i want something more, i want someone. But right now isn't the time. I just disappointed myself with Jon, i just couldn't see him as something more than as a friend.
Everyone thinks im so fucking careless, indecisive, and fucking clueless to what i want. And yeah, maybe i am alittle. I do act like its all no big deal, and i can't believe im writing this all down, but really for me, it is a big deal or it will be some time in the future. I don't think about it much because i really don't want to, But i've always imagined myself finding the right person, but considering the traditional values of marriage etc, the idea of staying with the same person for my whole life is kinda daunting and sounds boring, but i guess if i find that someone i want to spend my life with then im sure i'll think differently about it.
Im not looking for That someone now though, im just looking for something. What that is i don't know yet, but i hope i'll know it when i find it.

i feel dizzy now. like im about to fall of this chair.

The best thing on days like this is a foot bath.
I wish i had one of those electrical ones, you know a spa for your feet. But for me, just sitting on the edge of the bathtub and sitting my feet in a few inches of water does the trick.
And ice cream is good too. I had some before - and ahhh bliss.
It's weird how on hot days i appreciate the little things, how good a foot bath feels, how refreshing ice cream can be.
But i also realised that public transport is the devil and who ever decided that those mini buses don't need proper air cond should be SHOT IN THE HEAD. fuck it was hotter in the bus than it was outside.
Right now all i wanna do is have a cold bath and wash my hair. so if you'll excuse me. ta ta

I must be invisible. No one can see me. Or no one cares to see me. or wants to. When i come online ppl must be like this "Oh...its ev. *sigh*"
I don't talk to everyone online...but a nice HI is good enough. BUt nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...i am invisible.

I went out last nite to lily's party - and klein was there, and lisa was there and Eamon was there. and i had a pretty good time. lisa got to sit on me, i got very very light headed, and mark's teeth got hurt. i think. mark also got lost on the way to my house hehe...like a little lost puppy. heheee.
ANYWAY - im in a pretty good mood today, i sat on the couch this morning watched DEAD MAN and the naked chief.

and im pretty hungry rite now actually.

i was gonna post but now i don't feel like it.

I just wrote a whole thing. AND NOW ITS GONE! ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!STUPID COMPUTER STUPID INTERNET THAT DECIDED NOT TO WORK!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

I'LL COME BACK LATER AND WRITE IT ALL AGAIN. I REALLY CANT BE BOTHERED RIGHT NOW ANYMORE. argh!

Im trying to sort out my feelings. And maybe thats wrong of me to do so right now. But i need to figure out how i really feel, why im feeling like this, and tonight is just a test for myself. Can i do it? Can i be what he wants? Can i be what i want? WHAT the fuck do i want? it would be nice if i wasn't so complicated. I don't know why i am. I think im just in a weird place, and i don't need ppl reminding me of what a past bf was like - because it just makes me regret and think i made a mistake and makes me wanna slap myself for not being smart back then. But i live with my mistakes. and no, i don't like steve or anything like that. BUT im gonna compare right - so steve compared to jon - so far steve gets the brownie points - but i know jon reads this and he will get offended - BUT fuck these are my thoughts, deal with it. BUT then again with JOn i like the not being bugged every day by a boyfriend - of course steve didn't really bug..he did afterawhile though. maybe i shouldn't be writing this here - i'll stop. i'll continue on my other page.

this blog mite get deleted cos of its content - SO for a good few hours it'll be online - and tomorrow i mite post something i actually wrote b4 all that junk up there - but for other reasons i won't be posting today.

This morning I was greeted to th sweet sounds of 1970's Funk on Syn fm. and it was sooo damn good. And now im craving more! but rite now i lovveeeeee missy E's pass the dutch - makes me wanna boogie.
Im trying to write a cover letter and fix up my resume for a new job i want to go for. But for some reason i doubt i'll get the job, but i might as well try you know. No harm in that, just another rejection letter.
OOh i have my results for the last semester of uni! It seems i have passed yet again. My marks could have been better - but yayness its over. Next year will be better, im doing funkier subjects, animation and radio will be soooooo damn cool. I don't get why they put all the good subjects in first semester though - cos second semester is just so...shite. My only options were digital media cultures and two other odd subjects. I can't see how im gonna do film critism, i know i can be opinionated, but can i be detailed in my dislikes of a film? big words are not a part of my vocab either...well not my everyday vocab anyway. and my spelling had worsened, as you can tell just by reading this blog.
Im gonna go do something interesting, like watch neighbours...or eat chocolate.

byesss.

playlist:
Missy E - pass the dutch
P.diddy etc - Show me your soul
Cowboy Be Bop OST - Tank!
Third eye blind - Misfits


I am soo very tired. And i can't type well rite now, cos its dark and i can't see my keyboard. damn black keyboards - should be fucking glo-in the-dark.
Anyway, so how was everyone's weekend? Mine was interesting.
Went to amber lounge. then went to spy lounge and danced. And was there till 5 something..my feet are still a little sore. My big toe is itchy - which is weird and it feels fairly numb. Im reading a book called "the ice storm" which was made into a film a few years ago...a really good film actually directed by Ang Lee.
There are some good shows on tv tonite - monday nite is the best nite on tv me thinks. Sbs has some new sketch show on which rocks my socks off..and south park is still v. enetratiing
And im just talking shit now. So i'll go sleeep.