I had a strange dream last night. Involving people who can fly like birds and oddly enough Rob Mills from idol made a guest apperance. But it was strange because I felt like I've had that dream before, or that I once saw it in a movie.
I was at uni today. We watched some of blade runner - I don't think I've ever watched that film all the way through. I think I've seen like more than half, but I've never sat all the way through it. I guess i'll have to now, blade runner will probably come up again in my media class. I've picked the site i'll be doing my analysis on, http://1000words.net.
I have to finish the coles myer online induction stuff tonight or tomorrow. And I have a film Criticism essay to start. I've decided to do it on Shaolin Soccer - which is a crazy hong kong film which mixes sport and crazy martial arts into this insane film - and somehow also manages to fit a dancing number into it. I love this film so much I'm willing to see it again and again and again at the cinema, because it was worth every cent of my 11 dollar ticket. I haven't been that entertained all the way through a movie for awhile.

films:
Jersey Girl
the killer
starsky and hutch (do it, do it)
shoalin soccer

playlist:
ashlee simpson - pieces of me
timbaland, utada and kily dean - by your side
taking back sunday - lost and found.

I forgot to mention in the last post about the madman panel - which kicked ass. And we got to find out about new dvd releases, watch trailers and overall hear from the distributors themselves about the industry and all. It was mostly about madman itself and what new anime they were thinking of releasing.

OKAY. so THE WEEKEND pt 2 (please read pt 1 if u haven't done so already)

Sunday morning - I arrived at 9am to melb uni to be shuffled into the alternate theatre with the other early attendies to watch Azumanga - a cute anime about girls at school - very cute and funny! During that Street decided to turn up (although he was alot earlier than the day b4) and after that we went round to all the traders, they had mostly the same stuff still. So we headed to the madman room b4 it got really busy and i picked up a copy of Perfect Blue and Castle of Cagliostro - i couldn't help myself..hehe. I stocked up on Pocky and a can of that fermented soft drink. We eventually went to the Main Theatre to watch Naruto - battle at the hidden falls, I am the Hero episode. after that we sat through King of Bandit Jing Ova which was crazy and cool...and i fell asleep during it. BUt it was really good, what I did see of it. After that we took some time out for lunch and went to KFC. and for those of you who have probably already read Street's blog and the small mention of the 6 chickens to a bucket of KFC - it was around this time the conversation occured. Mark did say there were 12 chickens in each bucket- which i figured impossible - then he estimated 6. Anyway, moving along.

After picking up more packets of Pocky (they finally got some more chocolate ones in) and buying myself a coke for mental stimulation - and to keep me awake- we sat down in the Main theatre again to watch Chrno Crusade - which is set in teh 1920s and is full of demons and cool sacred bullets and stuff for killing them with. Then Full Metal Alchemist - which was very very cool, about two brothers who are looking for a way to restore their missing bodies/body parts. Then the fun part of the afternoon arrived! Keroro Gunsou - the cutest and funniest anime about a group of alien frogs who try to invade the earth, but with little success. hehe the end credits were hilarious, frogs with afros hehe. Then Boboboubo Boubobo - which was about this group of evil guys who are stealing everyone's hair - and one crazy man with a yellow afro takes them on and defeats them with his extremely long(and gross) nose hair. It was totally crazy and I loved it. After that, Full Metal Panic Fumoffu - which was also very amusing and full of guns and crazy stuff also. The Tenchi Muyou OVA series was great! I had been wanting to see some of that series for awhile, so to finally watch it was great. And Lastly, Jubei-chan II which was about a young girl who discovers with the help of a lovely eye patch she can become a ninja. Also very amusing and the animation was crazy and different. Alot more experimental than the previous animes, and it played with different styles and almost each character was drawn and animated differently. So thats another series im looking forward to watching more of.

So basically that was Sunday. Too many hours of anime and sitting in the same seat. My ass was so sore by the end of that day. And I had eaten so much pocky - i think now I'm addicted to it.

So overall it was a great weekend. Im glad its over because my eyes kinda went funny from reading so many subtitles - but it was a great experience and I can't wait to do it all over again next year. But for now, Sayonara!!!

I have so much to write here today. So much has happened and is about to happen that I fear I won't be able to write everything down here now. But lets start things off and I title this piece - THE WEEKEND pt1.

First off, Saturday morning. I woke up super early at 6am that morning. I awoke when I heard the familar barking of my dog outside and the sounds of the front door opening. My mum had just returned home from her two week holiday in the UK. So I rushed her at the door before she could even put down her bags and waited for the presents to come. It turns out my mum collects alot of crap when she travels, such as travel brochures and things from all the places she went to. Im so jealous, she went to Bath and hung out in London. But she bought back a few cds, my sister's long awaited live-maroon 5 cd. She also got me a few cute tops for summer. It just makes me long for summer even more now, cos im sick of this wet weather.

So finally after all the catching up I remembered that I had a bus to catch at 8am. So i got ready,

walked to the bus stop in the rain and made my way to the city then to Melbourne uni.

I arrived at the manifest venue at 9am. To my shock and horror there were heaps of people there and i quickly made friends with a guy in the line who came up from Torquay to be there for the weekend. I was supposed to meet Mark street there, but turns out he slept in and at 9am when i was at manifest - he was still in bed. So I waited in line and finally got inside at around ten and I found my way into one of the theatres and watched an episode of Gungrave - which made no sense to me because i missed the start of it. But finally Mark decided to turn up, and while he was waiting in line to get in (it pays to be early) I got a look at the first traders room's that were open. So after fighting my way inside and finding nothing except over priced Final Fantasy Trading arts stuff - i left that place empty handed and went to the madman room - and collection of dvds was GREAT. and a few of the guys selling were hotties. I quickly bought myself a dvd of Utena and got the hell outta there. I walked around some more, then finally mark got inside and we hung out perusing the theatres, waited to get downstairs to the main theatre and traders - and it was GREAT. Heaps of cute lil naruto key rings and different artworks, zines, figurines, toys - trading arts stuff - models - manga, EVERYTHING was there. I was going ga-ga over the Rikku FFX statute and over the Yuna FFX-2 statue. So finally we decided after shopping round to see some anime.

We found the alternate wood theatre - watched an episode of Gokusen (which was very amusing) and then sat through Gunslinger Girl - which was good, alittle sad. But it was a nice thoughful anime and alittle disturbing watching 12 year olds go beserk with machine guns and sniper rifles. Eventually we made our way to the cosplay, which was interesting. There were some great moments and costumes. The worst moment was the girl who couldn't sing in tune at all - and forced the audience to sit through a whole yu-gi-oh song. That was painful to sit through.

SO after all that - and more shopping around the traders and buying yummy pocky and japanese drinks - we sat down and watched Read or Die, PlanetES, Yuugo the Negotiator, and we were supposed to watch Ragnarok - but they fucked up and so we all watched DragonHalf which was crazy and very very funny.

So that was DAY ONE of Manifest.

check back later for Pt 2.

I'M IN!
woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot!!!!!

I can't believe how bad i was stressing out over the myer job...but yay! I just have to fill in some stuff which will be sent to me soon and organise some training and stuff and YAY.

Of course this is just for christmas trading...but my plan was to get my foot in the door - so lets hope i don't fuck this up.

I need black and white clothing ....i think another shopping trip will be needed soon....OOH. im gonna go to Cue and buy that hot black skirt i saw...mmm...i love that store.
Anyway. i got an essay to write, have fun kids.

Also does anyone want to come to manifest?

20 MINUTES!

ONLY 20 MINUTESS...it was so quick I didn't even notice it.

And to think I left my film criticism class early FOR 20 MINUTES OF NOTHING?!!!!

all we had to do - was turn up. sit in our designated seats. then listen to some nice person talk - then we had to stand up, introduce our selves and say why we wanted to work at myer.

im not gonna go into details here about what I said. BUt lets say - i was original compared to everyone else. and i made a total fool of myself! BUt the worst thing was, when i sat down I thought...hmm maybe when we get to the good stuff i can redeem myself...BUT noo..they thanked us and we all left....and i was on the 4.20 bus back to warrandyte going home. That was it. anti-climatic. oh well..i guess in a few weeks i'll find out if i impressed anyone...but i doubt it. but..then again..I still hope it was okay and that i get the job! lol.

I can't seem to shake off this feeling today.

Like I've messed up, that my good streak has finally run out.

I haven't felt this lonely or depressed in awhile. I feel like no matter what I can do, nothing will change this feeling.

I've been thinking of ways to improve myself today, maybe there are little things i can do to salvage a friendship which i think is near the edge of no return. But one particular person has been on my mind the past week - and its driving me crazy, because i think i don't deserve this - what have i done to deserve this attention?

Its the not knowing, the not talking to them which gets to me. I think i finally cracked today. My mind has been wandering all over the place, I've been asking myself questions like 'What did i do? how can i fix this?' what did i do, except be myself? is that why i should be punished? And some things just don't help. I've had almost no contact with people the whole weekend, I'm tired, I'm sick of everything. I just want to crawl into my bed tonight, and i just want to cry out all these feelings and hope that tomorrow will be better.

But I feel so alone even when I'm with people. I saw tracey today, and we talked alittle about Theo...he's very sensitive to gay jokes. And on the bus i talked with this nice guy called lee who is a first year agriculture student. I met him last week, on the bus...incidently. But I just don't feel like myself today. I just felt drained and emotionless. apart from the depressing emotions - but void of anything resembling happiness.

I bought a second love hina manga today - in hopes that it would cheer me up. It did alittle.

And i bought a pencil case also, because I'm sick of finding my pens all strewn at the bottom of my backpack.

I have a job interview tomorrow with myer. I don't know what I'm going to do.

All i know today is that I've been wanting to get online, i've wanted to blog this all out of me. get it all out of my system. I remember feeling so horrible, so sick in my stomach that i wanted to leave and not resolve anything. and i still don't think any thing has been resolved. then again, this could all be in my head.

I just want to stop thinking things over too much. i can't handle it anymore. if i over analyse one more thing, one more line, one more gesture - i'm going to crack...like an egg. and go splat.

i'm tired. i mite get an early night.
not too much has happened. friday nite - vids at ian & ben's house...that was aiiight. and then saturday nite i saw Battle Royale II: Requiem - which was aiight. better than azumi. But still not fantastic, it could have been GREAT. but it just wasn't. But i liked the blood...and the plight of these teenagers, although the film felt alittle drawn out. But i liked it.
There were a few other films i wanted to see, but i think i might see that one about the monks who play soccer. lol.

I'm looking at a website for teaching in japan at the moment...i thought about doing this back in first year uni...but i dunno...it would be exciting though.

meanwhile..because i've run out of ideas for this post.

www.utada.com

- the new single 'devil inside' is up, only listen to it on high streaming...low sounds like shit.

Directions
you must play dashboard's "the swiss army romance" to get the full effect of this next post - so turn it up loud....now!

Sleep with all the lights on.

You're not so happy.

You're not secure.

You're dying to look cute in your blue jeans,but you're plastic just like everyone.

You're just like everyone.

And that face you paint is pressed

impressing most of us as permanent

and I'd like to see you undone.

 

College night will draw the crowds.

Dorms unload & your heading out.

Here is your moment to shine.

Making up a history.

It's nothing from the life you lead

but man, will they buy all your lines.

 

Sleep with all the sheets off

bearing your mattress

bearing your soul.

And you're dying to look smooth with your tattoos

but you're searching just like everyone

could be anyone.

And the friends that you have are the best

impressing most of us as permanent

and I'd like to see you undone.

 

Youth's the most unfaithful mistress.

Still we forge ahead to miss her.

Rushing our moment to shine.

Making up a history,It's nothing from the life you lead

but man will they buy all your lines.

 

We're not twenty-one,

but the sooner we are,

the sooner the fun will begin,

so get out your fake eyelashes,

and fake i.d's,

& real disasters ensue,

it's cool to take these chances.

It's cool to fake romances

& grow up fast.

 

 

I have to say that I am happiest when I am listening to music.  and i last nite i was stoked.  And last night when I was at the dashboard gig - I couldn't have been happier.  Seriously, that gig was greeeat.  I think he puts on an awesome show, and i love the crowd and how everyone knows the lyrics (except for the girls standing on my left, who only knew like 3 songs well) and I love the atmosphere. Everyone singing along to the songs, i love how chris handles the audience and he has this aura about him, He has a quiet yet powerful presence on stage.  Chris from dashboard is fricken amazing...and he's hot. and talented. and when he sings...sometimes he can hold a note for longer than 10 seconds...i kept thinking he was going to turn blue.  My only problem was I wish I could have had someone to share in my second dashboard experience  but talking with steve afterwards about it was great, because it was his first time and finally and he totally shared in my enthusiasm for the gig.   Well it was a great gig and i had a good time.  And i got cool dashboard hoodie - which im looking forward to wearing once i get the ciggarette smoke smell out of it.

 

meanwhile, i woke up this morning - not alot happened except i read some more of this book called nineteen-eighty four by george orwell - i think he also wrote animal farm...and i like that book alot...but its taken me awhile to start reading it. 

took mum to the airport this arvo, then reds and i went to office works in search of stuff and cds..then we went to hungry jacks - or HJ's as my brother calls it...and waited too long for our food...then went home - i finished my essay, emailed it. and now we're thinking about seeing a movie tonite, but tomorrow nite me and reds are going to see the sequel to battle royale as part of miff...

 

i feel like getting some vids tonite though. anyway...im hungry. cya.

 

Well would u believe it?    No. probably not.
I started this Blog back in 2001 and I didn't think anything would come of it.  And I'm right, nothing did happen.  Maybe a few more people are reading it now then compared to back then, but not many more. 
So I'd just like to say  happy 300 blogs to me. 

 
(..but officially this is post 301 - i didn't check the last one. )

Songs to Sing to:
Dashboard confessional - Saints and Sailors
black eyed peas - weekend

is anyone else scared?

Uni is starting again.  And i don't want to go. I'm already nervous and stressed out about tomorrow's class, at 11am.  And its media, and media classes are always something to dread.  My cinema classes this semester should be entertaining though, yet difficult.  The media subject has a tutorial thingy too...a two hour tutorial....urghhh.  I'm gonna need to stock up on the caffine this semester me thinks.   so at the moment i think i'm looking at about 11 hours a week.  And i'll have fridays off, and possibly wednesdays.  at least my media class won't be in the HUED 101 room...that room gives me the shits. i hate it.  its crappy and crap. 

My weekend has been uneventful.  And now im in debt to two people. lol.
Friday was cool, went with street to the manifest pre-registration party which was cool...watched some kick ass anime and i got to see the Naruto video game which KICKS ASS.  also i played hack./ cards...which was interesting.
Then street cameee along to the city - and we met up with my bro and saw the film AZUMI. which..was okay. I meaan, it wasn't exactly a great film...in fact most of it was pretty...silly. But there were lots of samurai swords and crazy bad guys that look like monkeys and one reeeally freaky villian who was totally crazy - and yet very amusing to watch.   I didn't mind it at all.
meanwhile, there are some more films that i want to see on - But the Astro theatre is showing most of the Studio Ghibli in August on tuesday nites - So everyone must come and see Nausicaa and the Cat returns then!

anyway, enough about me.

 

 

this is cloud - spikey hair. My figurine looks almost like this.  

Its been a GREAT week.   And I'll tell you why. Because everything is finally starting to fall into place, things are fixing themselves and everything is good and well in my world for now.  So I'm happy.  But I'll give you all a quick run down of my week, and I'll omitt the boring details, so I'll just tell you about Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

On tuesday (which felt like a monday) I was in the city with Lisa and we hooked up with Nat early on and went down to bridge rd in search of a vest for lisa.  We walked around for a bit then went back into the city to meet up with Leanne and we walked to the starbucks on the corner of burke & swanston st. We saw Alan in the city - after alot of..silly standing around Lisa and Nat finally went to say hi to him, while i stood out front of starbucks and wondered where leanne was, so Finally we all just thought OKAY screw this, lets go get some chippies, so we went to the lounge and called Leanne and told her to meet us there.  Finally she came and we all sat around and ate chips and drank the free water.  Then to finally break the ice between us all we went window shopping and explored melbourne central and the new QV building. And i must say...OMG shopping in the city will rock once i get some money.  

So that was pretty much Tuesday.   Wednesday I met up with Tristan at Donnie and we walked around, talked anime and video games and then got foood - my first KFC twista in WEEKS! since uni i think.  Tristan gave me a cool final fantasy trading arts figure he got from singapore - i had to choose between two identical boxes for one, and i ended up with a Cloud from FFVII...and he now sits here at the computer with me.  But i swear i almost speared my finger trying to put cloud's head on his body.  That is one dangerous hair cut.   (look at the picture above).    So that was Wednesday. Then Yesterday, Thursday - last nite I went to dinner with Lisa, Nat and Leanne at Rasa Malaya which is on blackburn rd, and it was sooo good.  Then we went to sugar art for coffees and hot chocolates afterwards.   I got to ride in Leanne's bf's car...its' a mini and i've fallen in love with it.   I want a car just like that.    And leanne has good taste in anime and music - we were listening some music from naruto on the way to sugar art.  It was very very cool.  So thats it sooo far.  Tonite im either seeing a film, or going to an anime thing with street. I think i mite go to the anime thing though.  i can see the film next week.  

 

 

Well I had a dream I stood beneath an orange sky

Yes I had a dream

I stood beneath an orange sky

With my brother and my sister standing by

 

 
- alexi murdoch "orange sky" from "music from the o.c mix 1"

The Problem With Popplers
 
It's only monday.
tomorrow: city w/ lisa & meeting nat and leanne
wednesday: hanging with tristan
Thursday: who gives a fuck.
 
 
I've been feeling a bit ick today.  Well a bit, ick since sunday. So sorry if i haven't been replying to mobile messages and stuff, i haven't been checking things at all.  Um...
Next week I start uni again, my mum goes away to england leaving me my slutty sister at home. My brother will be here weekends though and I'm planning on inviting a few ppl over, but its hard cos next week uni starts. But its not like i'll have work or anything to do...who does work in the first week of uni? Like no one. All u do is turn up, get urself a tutorial time and then leaave. But thankfully i'll only have one tutorial next semester and two four hour lectures for cinema.  But it'll be nice to start at 11 am on a monday for once. not that i'll be able to sleep in though. I need my P's...and a car.
 
I've decided i'm going healthy. And I mean it this time. I'm even going to exercise. I know...its so not like me.  But I think I've sat on my ass long enough this holidays.  So I'm going to look into doing these bodyjam classes or something. I mite join la trobe's gym thingy...or do swimming. swimming sounds good, and i haven't done it in years, so maybe i'll start swimming again.
 
I was just talking about being fit and healthy, and then without thinking i stick a fricken Lindt chocolate ball in my mouth. lol.
 
Oh. if ppl wanna go see a few kick ass films at the melb inter. film fest this year tell mee and we can all go. I want to see hero, azumi, the cat returns and a few other films about..ninjas and such.
 
meanwhile in FFX-2 today i raised 4 level 5 chocobo's and found the secret chocobo dungeon. So yay for me...of course i wasted like two-three hours doing that. 
 
 
pharrell & busta rhymes - light ur ass on fire
brand new - am i wrong
 
 
 

Its been a dull and boring week.

Nothing has happened. Except Im not much closer to finishing my game of FFx-2 this week. But tonite is the final episode of Angel FOREVER!
anyway. this is boring. but lookie. new layout. Im thinking of changing it again...i'll do it on the weekend.

go do urself a favour and download some Led Zepplin now - or better yet go buy urself the records.

Well the playstation is gone. my brother took it for the night. He's up at the holiday house. And i tells ya, the tv is looking empty and alone without it. In fact, i feel empty...and alone without it. But its probably good to have some time away from it. And im handling things well. I mean its not like i'm addicted to my playstation, i just like having it there, sitting under my tv with the dvd and vcr.

My short trip with lisa away was very good. We walked alot. watched alot of big brother. And I ate too much food. but it was all good. We got sum cool tee shirts.
But its good to be back, i would have liked to stay alittle longer up at the beach house, but i go alittle crazy sometimes when im away from melbourne sometimes. Its just nice having all my usual comforts and things around me. Im looking forward to this week though, I want to make the most of whats left of my holidays before uni starts up again.
Oh i got a B+ for my pornography essay! woot! go me. I handed that essay in a week late and I still got a good mark, so woot for me. So i think i'll be passing at least one class! still don't know what i got for my other assignments yet, i reeally want to know what i got for the radio assignment. Blood sweat and tears went into that one.

Well i gotta get ready. Im meeting grace at easty landy soon. i was wondering last night...where do u buy table cloths from? i'd assume a store, but i want a particular colour and they mite be hard to find...hmm. Yesterday i was looking through my sister's cook books and i was literally drooling. Ahh just the thought of eating food...im getting too fat now. damn winter. I always eat more this time of year, but this year im reeeally feeling it. Well i like to eat, is that so bad?

playlist:
goldfrapp - twist
utada, timbaland,& kiley dean - by your side (so hard to find a good copy of this!)
BEP - lets get retarded (not started)
joe feat g-unit - ride wit u

peace out.

playlist:
kelly osborne - right here
kelly clarkson - miss independent
kelis - trick me
kofee brown - quickie
koda kumi - 1000 words (english version)


Im going through the K's on my kazaa list..hehe.

Lisa and I are going away today. We shall be back sometime by the end of the week. If u wish to contact either one of us, try our mobiles. don't bother sending me an email because i won't look till late friday.

um...its been an interesting past few days. lots has been happening. and i've been asleep alot and watching too many films and big brother has taken over my life. its official. I am addicted.

well i'd better be off! leave me a comment or sumthing! *muah*

sneaker pimps - wasted early sunday
saves the day - you vandal

I've been at home all weekend. Its been nice :)
Lots of sleeping and lots of eating. I've taken to eating these lil packets of sugar crackers...mmm...i love them.
I watched a spike lee movie last nite..Clockers. it was aiight. hehe. i must say i liked 'do the right thing' alot better.
Im organising a few things for my short trip away with lisa. and dinner party stuff.

I haven't got much to write here today. maybe i will tomorrow. meanwhile - everyone watch Big bro tonite - cos they fucked up and kicked out bree when it was supposed to be someone else apparently.

anyway. GOODbyeee

last nite was good.
in fact the past two nights have been fun.
I wanna do something saturday nite. so any suggestions? something that doesn't involve alot of money. cos im down to about $3.50. Spent about 70 dollars on gifts and cards today.
Morgan & Aimee's 21st tonite! wooot.
apparently mark street is going to a 21st aswell. And my old friend Mark Wilko is having his 21st tonite..apparently. I bumped into Jon today and he told me. seems jon hasn't read my blog - so he didn't read that post i wrote about/for him. so he had no idea. at all about anything. didn't really speak to him that much today. anyway.
I gotta figure out what im gonna wear tonite! naughty or nice - arghhhh.

playlist:
kelis - milk shake
goldfrapp - twist
dirty dancing soundtrack - time of my life

itsss cold. cold cold cold.

Im gonna collapse and die.

no im not.

but i am hungry.

playlist:
Michelle branch - tuesday morning
Kylie - chocolate
2pac - how do you want it


i can't live a day without you. closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away..

HOKAY!
well i've just been chillin' and doing stuff. you know. And i went to the dentist today and he gave me a filling for my deformed wisdom tooth. and i got an x-ray done - and there was fun to be had by all!
I got my radio doco on cd! woot. it sounds goooooood. im exited about it. I can't wait till i get the marks for it back, i'll see if it was any good then. I'll send kazaa a copy off soon. tell me if u wanna hear it and i'll hook u up with a mp3 or a cd copy of it. I want to put it on my site, so i mite find a site which will let me store stuff...how cool is photobucket! that site is nifty as.

I have alot to do this week. and everything costs money. I'm waiting for an email from coles myer....i mite send out a few more resumes to some more places. I want to get some driving lessons this holidays..parents suck and don't want me driving.

My dad is going away on the 12th to england! woot. peace and quiet for once. Then my mum is going up to join him in england a few weeks later i think. so for a while it'll just be me at home. muahaha. except it sucks. cos probably it'll just be me. Mum mite ship aubrey off to grandma for the two weeks she's gone. She wanted aubrey to go with her but anyway.

OOH exciting news. Utada Hikaru's english album is coming out soon. its called EXODUS. very cool. and she's featured on UNITY - the official album for the olympic games. or something like that. she's done a few tracks with the legend of hip-hop and everything cool - TIMBALAND! woot. so that should be very very cool.

anyway. i gotta go and do stuff. peace out!

"Broken Angel"

So small, yet still so proud
At night before he dreams he looks into the clouds
A high flyer's what I want to be
Seems they won't let me, says I'm too small
I don't feel small at all

Break my dreams, that's what they'll do
Well I'm going to run away and learn to fly like you
I'm going to go so high and swoop so low
You can't bring me down, going to be so proud

Little angel you got to learn to fly
Get up and earn your wings tonight
Little angel just look in my eyes
Get up and earn your wings tonight

Push and shove then climb aboard
This is the shuttle train to the top of the world
When you look around what do you see
These are all high flyers
But none of these high flyers look like me

What is that supposed to mean
What am I supposed to be

I pull my way up through this crowd
To find your body crushed on the ground
It's so obvious, why couldn't you see
That you can't go high flying without a pair of high-flyer wings

Little one's broken lying on the ground
Trying to get up 'till his last breath out
Wings are strune everywhere, there's blood all around
'Cause even angel's die, but that light just fades
It's so sad, but he'd be so proud

Broken angel you've got to learn to fly
Get up and earn your wings tonight
Broken angel just look in my eyes
Get up and earn you wings tonight
Get up and earn your wings, earn your wings tonight

WHAT IS YOUR MALFUNCTION?

I've been busy this week. Monday I finished the Anime essay. I handed it in at like 8pm. LOL. I got my brother to drive me to uni and he almost got us lost on the way home. But luckily we got back just in time for queer eye. I've been busy doing readings for the pornography essay though, lots of reading to do still so i'll finish that today.
I watched Ring 2 last night. And i watched THE O.C..in fact i also taped it. and will watch it again in the next hour. Im cooking ravioli at the moment. mmmm...

I've been watching lots of naruto and love hina episodes, but in fast forward mostly. I've been looking at the anime style, stillness and time is very important in anime.
Also the Miyuki-chan in Wonderland video arrived yesterday. And i've watched it, and well its not the best anime i've seen, but its certainly weird. Very perverted. And there are no males in that anime at all!

So for your lyrical pleasure, here are the words to my fave anime song at the moment - Wind Sung and written by Akeboshib from Naruto:


Cultivate your hunger before you idealize.
Motivate your anger to make them all realize.
Climbing the mountain, never coming down.
Break into the contents, never falling down.

My knee is still shaking, like I was twelve,
Sneaking out of the classroom, by the back door.
A man railed at me twice though, but I didn't care.
Waiting is wasting for people like me.

Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.

(Repeats)

You say, "Dreams are dreams.
"I ain't gonna play the fool anymore."
You say, "'Cause I still got my soul."

Take your time, baby, your blood needs slowing down.
Breach your soul to reach yourself before you gloom.
Reflection of fear makes shadows of nothing, shadows of nothing.

You still are blind, if you see a winding road,
'Cause there's always a straight way to the point you see.

Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.

(Repeats)

for you 

wish me luck

CUT THEM OFF! CUT THEM ALL OFF!
the world would be a better place.

I've finished my radio documentary. Now i'm writing essays.

playfed FFX-2 today
watched love hina every night this week (BAKA BAKA BAKA!)
watched the hit man - starring JET LEI!
watched a bruce lee film that was on tv last nite, crrrraaazy...WWWWWAAAAAAAAH!
written - one essay plan
Read - two chapters of Susan J. Napier's "From Akira to Princess Mononoke: Experiencing contemporary Japanese animation"
Listened - to five britney songs
Ate - two pieces of toast with nutella, one bowl of special K, one bowl of soupy instant noodles (with 5% more apple juice!), hot chips and 1 potato cake.
Yet to do - write my essays. Finish my readings, watch that episode of angel i taped.

madness - wings of a dove
kofee brown - quickie
third eye blind - the misfits

I have a cold. *sniff* I thought I could dodge it, but all those natural herbal pills i've been taking haven't totally stopped me from getting sick. I feel okay, just sniffly. I've been busy doing work, reading articles on anime, lots of articles on anime. I'm about to read some on the hentai. Then i have to start my essay on porn. And for that I've been watching some films:

SEX: the annabell chong story & The girl next door
I recommend both, because they really give you an inside look at the porn industry and the life of a porn star.

Lis, if u want articles on porn i have a few academic one u mite find interesting.

I went and borrowed like ten videos yesterday, i got legend of the overfiend, frank mcClusky C.I , the Ring (jap ver.), and three Peter Jackson films...i got a few others but can't remember them all here. I was thinking of getting some porn films to help me with my essay, but i want to find some feminist porn films instead...and i dunno where to find those. And since i don't have too much time I'm not really gonna start looking for them now.

Things were going well Friday morning. I felt really confident that things were going well. That the doco would be finished that day. By 1pm I realised that if we didn't work quickly it would not be finished. By 4pm I knew that we were royally screwed. And by 4:10 I knew that we would be finishing the doco a day late from the due date.

So from the 3 sessions we had during the week- we didn't finish the editing or anything else. We're only just putting it all together now. And Im confused about the editing because i thought we fixed it all up. We went through each interview and did it. Although we may have skimmed over the main kazaa interviews and the graeme phillipson one, but other than that it was all edited. And that logic audio program is giving me hell. It hates me. It always loops on me when I try playing back what i've edited. And we moved our script, and everything just went weird. What we had edited had the starts and ends cut off so we had to fix that again. There were spaces throughout the kazaa interview that weren't there b4. Its not a mess, but its not far from it. I just want it to be over. But wednesday is the last chance, after that - i cannot continue working on it. So far the weekend is totally booked out at the editing suits, and we could have had monday night to work on it from 4.30pm till 8:30am the next day, but thats more of an inconvience. So i booked wednesday. All day wednesday. We'll see. If i miss out on that A or A+ then its okay. As long as i know its my best work then i'll be happy.
But right now, i can see it won't be my best, but it won't be my worst. But once its finished, i'll be sooooo happy. Anyway. this weekend im doing readings essay plans and starting things for next week. So i'm pretty busy with all that. But It'll all be over soon thankfully, i'm looking forward to just relaxing and doing nothing at all.

brand new - secondary
planet funk - who said
basement jaxx - where's your head at
ludacris - stand up
incubus - talk shows on mute

Nova 100 brings you DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL

Thursday 29 July 2004
The Metro
Tickets On Sale: 18 June 2003
Tickets:
Gaslight 9650 9009, Missing Link 9670 8208, Platos 9781 5977, Metro 9663 4288
Over 18's Event



here's the details kids. go crazy.

Its been a long week and thank god tomorrow will be the end of it.

Today I got to uni early, photocopied a few books and found i had some time left so I sat down and watched the film Porco Rosso and half of Laputa: Castle in the Sky. I think i have some new stuff to write my anime essay on. Im thinking of discussing strong female characters in anime, and maybe even a whole section dedicated to Miziayki films such as Nausicaa and Princess Mononoke. So that essay will be good to write. Only have a few days for it though. Once i finish this radio doco te better.

Meanwhile, i had a few troubles with the doco yesterday. Im worried that beate's accent will be too strong and difficult for people to understand. Maybe we should have mixed the scripts up alittle with my voice. Secretly I wish i was doing the scripts and inbetween bits for the doco. But then i'd be doing almost everything. So how i wanted the doco to sound in my head..it won't sound like that at all. But tomorrow i'm gonna hijack the computer and do the music myself...im thinking basement jaxx's plug it in will work nicely for an intro. I have alittle more editing to do, and i need to work out how to make a digital copy of the doco onto cd. Because i'd really like to make a cd with all my work on it, not just a crappy cassette. So i need to learn how to do that tomorrow also. Otherwise i'll book the studio for tuesday or the weekend and do more work on it. I want it to be perfect, and its almost perfect. Just need to put it together. When its done, i'll try and make it avaliable for ppl to download and listen or something like that.

Well also today, I met up with Lis and Will. we had lunch at TGI's. except Will. Because he had already eaten before hand. Which totally defeats the purpose of going out for lunch. He figured he was there just to 'visit' with us. Not happy will.

lol. but it was good. i had a nice afternoon. Its always good to do something like that to get my mind of things.

um also. we were thinking of having a party sometime b4 the 5th of july. If anyone is interested...in maybe having it at their house - tell me. lol. I dunno..just need to organise something..cos poor marko street is starting work on the 5th. So we need to party and go crazy for the days b4 it. muahaha.

anyway.

playlist:
Hanson - hey
basement jaxx - plug it in
N.E.R.D - she wants to move
Chingy - one call away
Count the stars - fight the fade

Watch:
Utada hikaru - Hikari (live in Budokan 2004)
Naruto & love hina episodes

im tired, so very very tired.
Spent today doing interviews, vox pops and editing interviews. Tomorrow more of the same editing and also we'll be in the recording studio doing the scripts. So that shall be exciting, except we have to write the scripts first...i'll do that tonite. Not sure what we need yet though. It hasn't all come together quite yet. I need to work a few things out, mite do that early tomorrow. I'll listen to all the audio clips maybe and just work out what should go where, get the "story" happening. lol. story. its a fucking doco. there is no story, only facts! But my lectuer is kinda craazy. nah he's cool.
But yeah. i bumped into alot of ppl today..or rather they bumped into me....bit of both. found some ppl in the lib, founddd some ppl in the agora (lisa, will grace..) it was alll good.

I found my mum at shopping town this arvo, i scared the shit out of her...hehe.

playlist:
brand new - tautou
the darkness - black stuff
funeral for a friend - red is the new black
utada hikaru - with or without you (U2 cover @ mtv unplugged)

I don't know if anyone has noticed but my tag board has returned! *scroll down* TA DA! there it is again. With all the exciting and rude original comments that you all left me there the first time.

I have an interview this morning with Graeme Phillipson, who is a journalist for the age newspaper. But at the moment he's in the US traveling. So we're gonna do an over seas call at uni (hehe) and record it and its gonna be great. Also we'll probably do some vox pops today. But there aren't too many ppl at uni this week, so it might be a little difficult. Mite have to scrap that idea.
We'll see. I spent yesterday afternoon doing the transcripts for the tapes, but i got lazy on one of them and didn't put in any of the duration and time stuff. Which is actually bad for the editing, it helps to know the approx time of something or of what was said on the tape.

well i'd better get a move on. its 9. i gotta get to AV. cya

Trucker hat that i want 

Dashboard is coming 29th of July. Nova is sponsoring the gig. Its at the metro. I dunno when tickets go on sale. I'll find out soon :)

I'm only writing this for one person. He knows who he is.

I want to write this here because I know you'll read it. And also because right now I don't want to see you face to face. It would be better to say all this in person I think, but at least I'm going to tell this to you here. And I want to avoid the confrontations with you, because it would be useless anyway because no matter what you might have to say - nothing will change my mind.

We can't be friends. At least not now, not for a while. I can't be friends with you while you keep those feelings for me. I don't want to be rude, I don't want to hate you. That's why I'm doing this. I can't give you what you want ever. I made my mind up about us a long time ago and I've moved on since then. But for you to suddenly just tell me that you want to start again - just took me by surprise and it angered me. Because right now, especially after last friday, You are not exactly my favourite person. And the last thing furthest from my mind was starting again with you.
I'm sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear. But what do you expect? I can't give you what you want. I can't help you, I can't fix your problems. And I won't enter into a relationship with you for those reasons and others which are too complex to explain here - and which I will not explain further.

All you want is a chance, but I'm not prepared to give it to you. I know what I once said to you, "I wasn't ready then, But I am now". I've realised how much of a lie that really was. So that makes us both liars then.

So there it is. I can't be friends with you now. Maybe some day, later on we can be friends again. But right now how can I be friends with you, knowing what you want from our friendship. But it was silly of me to think that we could go on being friends. So I'm sorry if I've led you on, it was never intentional.

I don't really know how to end this. But this will give me closure, and you'll just have to be satisfied with this.

http://p2pnet.net/story/1565

http://rocknerd.org/article.pl?sid=03/07/20/1141231&tid=7

http://themusic.com.au/

Today I was running around the uni literally. I was in AV forawhile this morning, then me and beate left and went to see John our lecturer and then I realised i had a message from julie the lovely lovely person from iicon communications who does the pr for Kazaa...and she was ready to do the interview today! So that was perfect timing. Totally perfect. We got everything set up for the interview to sydney. After alot of running around, had to go to the library and check my old emails because we realised we didn't have a list of the kazaa questions ourselves. So that was all rushed, and i went and saw John again and talked about the interviews and about radio and my other options and stuff for next year. So finally had the kazaa interview after being put on hold and waiting and calls back and forth. But we got it done, and I must say the people at Kazaa rock socks. They were soooo nice! Julie set up the interview for us, and she was totally very very cool about it. And they wanna hear the finished product. So now i feel like i need to make it extra extra good. So me and Beate deserve a pat on the back after getting thru today, and just getting the hard part over with. But it was great. After we did the interview we both hung up and did a few squeals and i did a jump around the room. I just got this huge buzz from doing that interview. It was funny cos b4 we even started the interview I was shaking, and after being on hold for almost 25 minutes all my nerves got calmed and it all ended well. So im REEAAALLY happy about that.

In fact life is suddenly very very good at the moment. Im in the mood for livin' it up alittlee...and go alittle crazy..and alittle naughty me thinks ;) well thats how i feel..once holidays kick in...woot.
i have cake here. And its been sitting on this plate next to me...for a good 25 minutes now...and i haven't touched it. I guess chocolate isn't my guilty pleasure anymore...its more of my 'fuck it i'll exercise the weight off later' pleasures.


playlist:
Rufus feat Chaka Kahn - Ain't Nobody (one of myyyy all time fave songs!)
Count the stars - Fight the fade
koffee brown - quickie
hanson - strong enough to break (maaaaybeeee you could take a look at urself lateeely)
Rufio - like a prayer (cover from the punk goes pop)
chingy - one call away
The darkness - i believe in a thing called love
yellowcard - way away

Yesterday I did alot of traveling. I went from Warrandyte to Doncaster to Heidelberg to Bundoora to Kew to Blackburn to Templestowe to Warrandyte.

That was my day basically. With stops inbetween. No yesterday was good. We did our interview with Andrew, who is mark street's friend and he is all knowing and knowledgeable about computer and direct connect hubs and stuff. I think it went well. A few sound problems. we'll try and fix them in the studio. I wasn't very steady with the mic...well can u blame me. I had to hold it up..a comfortable distance from the interviewee..but this meant i wasn't heard...and there was mic cord sounds...but it should be okay. I'll clean it up as much as I can in the studio. muahaha. destructive editing as we call it...muahaha.

Right now im logging the james interview...which was a good interview. The sound is okay..but i can fix that and make it sound FANTASTIC. woot. but its 12 pages long...urghh...i dunno if i want to print 12 pages of interview- i'll shorten it. But i gotta do the duration stuff first...urgggh. i mite just finish off the commenst by hand..anyway.

Today went shopping down bridge road with Mark S. It twas good. he got some funkeee clothes. Meanwhile im going back to bridge road some time in the future..i found this fantastic store with heeeaps of the Kitten label clothes...and the cool zoo york stuff...i want me one of those trucker caps..the kitten ones are great. Anyway..this store was like a general pants, but smaller.
And in every store we went to all the shop assistants thought we were tourists or from interstate. Apparently locals don't do much shopping during the week, hmm.

Im so very tired. after i do this log sheet i think i might pass out somewhere. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. 9AM start, im meeting Beate at the av loans desk and we;ll so some transfering of interviews and probably some vox pops and rough edit alittle. Yep. so thats what im doing. And i have to study for that stupid TEST! oh lordy...shit fuck shit fuck. I haven't studied at all. Okay well thats what im doing all friday i guess. Time to go over all the lecture notes i have........oh lordy. oh my. And friday is the test and i'll go home and then do some databasing research from there for the next two assignemnts.

Sorry, this post is more for me than for all of you. Nothing much of interest, just uni work work work. anyway. more from me sometime later on...maybe tomorrow. maybe not.

Sunday, May 30, 2004
Its strange how comforting music is at a time like this.
It reminds me that there is still hope left. That I still have so much time ahead of me to experience so much more. So I've been thinking alot, about so many things. About uni work, about people and relationships. About feelings and about growing up.
And I'm 20 years old. I feel like i've nothing to show for these years, I feel like i should have done something amazing with my life by now. But in the greater picture and scheme of things, i've yet to come into my full potential. I've decided that radio is what I want to do. For now. And that if i had to i would move from my beautiful melbourne to regional areas or interstate. So i'm prepared to do that, not that i've applied for jobs yet. I'm thinking about it though, about doing something soon. We'll see, i want to study alittle bit more first.

"Vindicated"

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine ahead has caught my eye
And roped me in so mesmerizing
It's so hypnotizing
I am captivated
I am

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so
Isolated so
Motivated I am
Certain now that I am

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

So tired of the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment for forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim
Against the current

So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

My hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption


Lyrics by Dashboard Confessional

My NEW favourite things:

Photoblogging
Dashboard on the radio! - Vindicated (for ther spiderman 2 ST)
My new tweed jacket
Jumbo Cookies from muffin break (it's HUUUUGEEE)
coke with lime - it's limey goodness
tim tams with tia maria

I've discovered some sites of late that might be of interest to all of you who like to download your music for free:

www.pro-music.org
- Its a site designed to bring about awareness of illegal file-sharing.

downhill battle - my new favourite site. Has info on whats going on in america - and is very very critical of the music industry system and of the RIAA. It also has a great article by Steve Albini - who most of you would recongnized as a record producer for Nirvana's "In Utero" album. So get informed!

Electronic Frontier Foundation - This site is very much update to issues of technology, and copyright etc.

the moses avalon company
the future of music
negativland.com

Im going crazy. seriously. and not the good kind of crazy.
I have so many thoughts running around my head, my emotions are in over-drive. I feel alittle stressed and yet relieved. Im going crazy because of people, and things i haven't thought about all day but suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks and now make me want to cry...for the sake of crying. I finished writing something yesterday which i started back in my high school years, and you would think i'd be more emotional or relieved about it, but im more fustrated with the annoying fan fiction sites that haven't upadted fast enough for my reading habits. I kid you not, something odd is happening to me. And its not even that time of the month (so don't even start with the pms jokes) so i don't get why i have this suddent emotional crisis. Its not even a crisis, i don't know why i used that word. I guess im just in an odd mood.

I've got a bit of work ahead of me. i should send off the questions to kazaa..but i want beate to approvee of them first...so i mite do it tomorrow.


playlist:
brand new - okay i believe you
taking back sunday - a decade under influence

ani difranco - what if no one's watching

im feeling the pressure. Oh yes indeed. while i love this radio subject im doing. While i find it easy and fun when im doing editing and studio stuff...i cannot do the interviewing stuff at all. And talking on the phone! Omg i actually called aria today. and the straight after i called the company that does all the media stuff for kazaa. And i've been told to submitt some questions and length of interview to this nice person called julie. but i couldn't understand a thing she was saying. her i's sounded like r's. So im doing that tomorrow. and then i'll have an interview with someone from kazaa..so success! I can do something right! well almost. i'd better not count my chickens until they've hatched.

Meanwhile im interviewing James tomorrow here. we'll just talk about music, mp3s, itunes and the band he's in. so im starting and things are going well...but i probably should have started this last week, but im not far off. and the 2000 word essay will be easy. which reminds me. im supposed to write a diary of what happens..to keep track of the process..i guess this is the diary. I'll probably be online late tonite. so much to do...more email stuff to do. i need to send some stuff to beate. tell her about the interview question things...she was wanting more input in the interviews..well here's her chance..she can write the questions out. hehe. of course she's still alittle hazy on all of it..i guess so am i...there's so much to take in. this whole kazaa business is no easy thing to document and read about, there is just so much information about the legal stuff but not alot to do with the actual company itself.

I've been thinking of changing this layout. im kinda not into it that much. I would love to have a really cool black and pink layout. maybe a more personalised layout, because i've just been finding ones on blogskins. I found some reeeally nice ones, but i don't understand how to install them...anyway.

so write me a comment. tell me what u think.

saves the day - hold

Maybe I'm tired of being the strong one, maybe my romantic side is taking over me...

hey kids.
Okay i've turned to mush. Yes I've been reading too many romantic fan fics, i've been watching too many silly slushy mushy movies on tv that involve keanu reeves (who is a hottie but looks the same in every film he does- even wears the same clothes most of the time) and maybe i've listened to one too many love songs.

Okay so for those of you who are willing to succumb to the mushiness that is love, here is my playlist for today:

One kiss -Sweetbox
On my Way - Steven Speaks
It's you - Michelle Branch
Let's stay together - Al Green
First Love - Utada Hikaru
Just one kiss - Basement Jaxx
Perfect Kiss- New Order
Hands Down - DC
Sweetest Goodbye - Maroon 5
I miss you - incubus
Hanging by a moment - lifehouse
Something about us - daft punk
Falling in love - Eagle-eye cherry


side note: marko - i read ur msg on the last blog comments - plz the contact details of ur friends and info on their filesharing thing would be most appreciated!

well i'd better go. im off to uni today. got work to do. yep.

im just looking at marko's photo site. i like the photo of one of the treees from NZ. i have a picture of that same tree on a placemat at home....it always used to scare me though when i was younger...cos one of the branches looks like a leg...like some odd bird was hanging on up that tree...and sticking one leg out.

anyway. im stressing out. uni work is getting difficult, my radio doco seems not as easy and straight forward as it should be. I have no clear story or contacts in melbourne. And this topic on mp3 and file-sharing is too broad and difficult for me to do. But its too late now. So im trying to find the confidence to call up this guy on monday at Aria and sydney. I don't know if any of u know..but i get scared when i call ppl i don't know. There must be a name for it..but its almost a phobia. lol. odd i know. and to think i want to do radio and it involves doing all this scary stuff. I just have to put myself out there and not worry so much.

Soooo its only thursday. Im sick of this week already. I want it to end. Thankfully it will end tomorrow. But i still gotta live through today. im glad i did my presentation last week, but now i gotta go back to that class...the class where i made a dick of myself last week...and face all those strange people again. oh no.

I'm thinking it would be cool to go see James's band 'the glasses' which is on the 27th of may i think...i haven't seen him ever perform with a band..so i think it would be cool to go to..so if any one wants to go, tell me. we'll work sumthing out.
If not. i'll just wait for their next gig. I said i was gonna interview james..maybe i still will..never know. it could come in handy. Maybe i'll find a story somewhere in all this mess i've made.

I've joined a few more fan listings last nite. so go check out my site www.geocities.com/evesygal and scroll down on the front page for the full view of all my new pretty buttons...and you'll see a few extras. so click click!

The girl next door, through and through! You have a kind heart and a good sense of right and wrong. Your down-to-earth nature doesn't allow yourself to become swayed by petty distractions. Your pretty face and a sweet soul draws admiration and respect from everyone around you! Do be cautious that you don't become blinded by your morals and ideals. Sometimes, to get along with others, you must be willing to compromise and offer a little understanding. Which Love Hina Girl Are You?

playlist:
sweetbox - One kiss
hanson - penny and me
beyonce - naughty girl
christina milian - dip it low
brandy feat. Kayne west - talk about our love

Hi all. wassup? no one has written any comments. the idea of them is to tell me what u think. If any thoughts pop into ur head while ur reading this blog, just write them down in the comments. And i'll try to reply to the comments. Its just a nice way of communicating with you all.

Well its monday. tomorrow is tuesday. the electricity man is coming over to read the meter so i have to be home, to hold down our dog because supposedly she is very dangerous, and the fat guy who does the meter readings regularly is scared of her..which is funny cos that guy is ten times bigger than my dog.
Also the electricity will be out from 9am-2pm tomorrow. So i have nothing to do for half a day. So i was planning on doing lots of reading, because i can't use tv, or comp, or listen to the radio...i mite go visit my grandma..get her to fix my jeans and the three holes i've made because i was too lazy to go and get the pants taken up in the first place. I mite re-read the buffy magazine...look at some more pretty pictures of spike. mmm...does anyone want to go and see spike's band? I should say James Masters, but no one would know who the fuck im talking about. Come on..anyone wanna go see a shaven headed spike (mmm) and his band 'Ghost of a Robot'? the tickets are like 50 something bucks...so if u wanna go..tell me.

anyway. im gonna go and finish some work and do some printing.

how's it gonna be?
when you don't know me anymore?

let's take this overboard now
i want you to rock the boat

And if you could only let it be
you would see

I've paid my dues, in the mood
me and the girls wanna shake the room

So you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it

Lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel.
Whatever tomorrow brings i'll be there.

Please can you tell me so I can finally see,
where you go when you're gone.

We've been on the run driving in the sun looking out for number one
California here we come, right back where we started from.

Love is whatever you make it to be
Sunshine instead of this cold lonley sea

Its just the thought of you in love with someone else
It breaks my heart to see you hanging from your shelf

Some people's blogs are so interesting. Especially when they leave little hints and clues to things. And when they announce things out of the blue. lol.

Things this week for me have been strange. Im stressed, things are getting hectic. But it almost feels unnessecary, i don't have to stress, or worry, or panic. Do i really need the approval of my peers? I've never looked for it before, so why such a big deal now when I have a presentation to do? I will be so glad once this day is over. I'm just going to relax tonight, take it easy. But i should be taking it easy now. I'm fully prepared for my presentation, why am I fretting over this? Things got worse last night for me, my printer decided to go crazy in the middle of printing, but crisis was adverted when it decided to work for me again.

Then I see you standing there wanting more from me and all I can do is try

Is anyone else impressed by the new blogger site? It looks rad.
I've been hit with the need to write again. I'm updating this blog alot now it seems. I feel like less of a dork writing here now.

I wonder if any mail came today. I'm expecting a video in the mail of miyuki-chan goes to wonderland - an anime about scandily-clad characters trying to hit on the poor alice of the piece, miyuki-chan, an unsuspecting teenager who falls into this perverted world. Cost my dad a pretty penny on ebay, he's usually so tight when it comes to spending money on other people, but he agreed to it when I said it was for school. so there ya go - ways to con your parents for money - just say its for school.

I've spent the day sitting here and sitting on the couch. I was awake at 6:30 this morning, so I did what any sane person who can't sleep would do. I turned on the PS2 for two and a half hours of FFx-2 fun. Which funnily enough for those who've played FFX and FFX-2...right now i'm doing the cactuar challenges for both games - makes u wonder how hard it would be to find a miniature cactus...but the lil guys are evading me well.

Im going to finish the cinema presentation tomorrow. It's almost done. I have to make a clip of the gundam 0083 movie. proof-read, print then i'm done! woot.
I've thought of an idea for my radio documentry, on weds i'll tell it to Beate and see what she thinks, it mite be interesting working with someone on this - i haven't done a shared group project for awhile. Usually i don't like to because someone always fucks up on the communication side of things, and people do too much work, and others do not enough.

Anyway. i mite go. check the mail. start the fire, actually cook dinner. *sigh* I me.

Then I see you standing there wanting more from me, I'm all I'll ever be

I don't know how I got so tangled

Thanks to ETHANZ for the wonderful comment - i had forgotten about the david bowie competition. I was thinking of entering it back in april when i first heard of it, but I guess i don't have the time to put together a few loops and wav files in acid - even though its the easiest thing in the world to do. Acid takes no skill whatsoever. But i encourage you ethanz to enter yourself and to who ever else mite like to. www.davidbowie.com for details.

Im watching the new strong bad email now. hehe...barbzerdry lol. this is the funniest thing i've seen all day. except when patlabor gave me the giggles after i watched tokyo get blown to pieces in yet again another anime. I finished two books in the last week. Praise and How to be good. Both were good books.

I read an interesting article in dolly magazine today. I know. dolly magazine. What am i doing reading it. Well its one of the only current magazines in our house- due to my sister being an annoying angsty teenager and all - except angst and dolly magazine doesn't really go that well. Its kinda too perky for all that depressing stuff. But the article reminded me of one of our friends. Which is kinda sad that someone like her, can be typed out and sterotyped into a dolly magazine article. maybe not sterotyped, i can't think of a better word though.


anydangway.


playlist:
steven speaks - out of my league
mario winans - i don't wanna know

must be a curse.

dashboard - hold on
count the stars - fireflies
utada - never let go (even on shuffle winamp plays this ALOT)

i didn't think getting myself off a sailormoon email list would be so hard. but whoops. turns out it is.
I took today off. did my cinema presentation. still not quiet done. I went through all the anime, gundam and patlabor. gundam 0083 is pretty cool. i didn't mind gundam W either...the same story and characters are all there - you know..the angst ridden characters and the gundams and lots of war. lots of war. but i get a feeling i've seen gundam 0083 before..or at least parts of it. But it was good. Patlabor is better now that i know more about it, and i found a great article online at the miyazaki website which was an interview with miyazaki and mamoru oshii the director of patlabor.

What is this? are you some kind of hypnotist?

I really don't remember writing that previous blog.

I have Gundam on the mind. I just read an article for my cinema presentation and i've been looking at websites about the series - and i am very confused. I feel bombarded by gundam. There is waaay to much gundam...the whole series spans over more than 15 years - there are like ten different series(slight exaggeration), a few movies, and too many characters and its just making me scared cos i have to sort through all this for the presentation.

Im just tired today. I had a nail appointment at 9am. one of my nails was severly broken and it was bleeding alittle. turns out its been six weeks since my last appointment. I got scolded for leaving it so long.

My mind has been wandering alot lately. I've been concerned about old things, freaking out over new things. one day i'll tell u all about it. but for now i'll leave it. there are just some things i shouldn't share.

playlist:
sweetbox - one kiss (acoustic) 'i can't get over this one kiss, one touch its not enough, can't you feel the same'
Howie Day - morning after 'we opened up our party gifts and you fell down the stairs on purpose...'
eagle eye cherry - falling in love 'im so tired of playing this game
koda kumi - 1000 words ' Kikoeteru? 1000 no kotoba wo'
brand new - mix tape 'you're always made up'
Michelle branch - are you happy now? 'you can't run away from yourself'

there is a time and place for everything.

I was at uni this morning. Handing in the radio assignment, which as i found out yesterday is now due on friday...so i panicked and got myself in a tiz over nothing. But at least its done. Uni on a sunday is an interesting. Its very quiet, not many people. and most of the doors are locked. But those hours i was there for were alright. It does get alittle quiet and boring when your working solidly for four hours in front of a computer. last friday when i was in there i wondered why it was so weird, then i realise it was because i wasn't playing any music while working...i always have music on. when ever im in front of a computer there has to be music on somewhere in the background. But considering how well i've worked lately, music might be a distraction for me. But i feel weird without it.

Well im home now. I've almost finished reading Praise, it reminds me of some things that have happened to me. experiences and such, and things i wish i had spent more time on instead of running away from. I need gundam and patalbor episodes..so if anyone hassss any of the above. i would love to get copies b4 thursday. after thursday is no good.

anyway. big brother started last night. and jon stevens was kicked out of american idol. That boy can't sing in tune at all!!!! he's terrible. he just sounds like shit most of the time. and what was with that "mould my style" comment he made in one of those lil packages - honestly, that boy couldn't mould any style of music...he'll just go back to sinatra and dean martin impersionations and one day im sure he'll be famous for that up in vegas, but he shouldn't give up on his education. singing won't be his career, at least not for awhile.
Im still annoyed about the jennifer hudson thing, that was just wrong. Everyone knew it, then why did it happen? my guess is someone fucked up - or that white america is voting like crazy..or were voting like crazy.......then everyone else went WTF and voted like crazy the next week soo that none of the girls would get kicked out. poor jasmine though, i feel like her time is almost up. That diana chick is the dark horse for this comp.

listen
david bowie - china girl (good for 7:30am)
daft punk - something about us
dashboard - bend and not break

hi ya all!

im in a writing mood tonight. Haven't been In awhile. everytime i start something i never want to finish it or i just find i don't feel like it anymore. its werid, i used to write so much, i used to be good at Making up things And stuff like that. i can still write lyrics and stuff, but i can no longer write fiction Really for long periods of time. i Keep trying but its hard finishing some things - and some things just don't want to be finished or solved or completed.
theo and i were talking about Writing A novel last year, his writing is different to mine, mine is crap - and well not like his. plus my grammar is worse. nah its all the fanfiction i Started too many years ago, and the fantasy type novel i Started getting ideas for in yr 9. it's a good idea, im fond of it, bUt i just don't want to write it! the motivation even to start something new has died. i used to just write so much, i could just let it all spill out, there were always so many Pages. now i can't even write one page without getting bored or getting lost for words. i guess my motivation now is different, im older now i've let go of those lil fantasties i used to have, but i've always liked writing but i just can't write the long stories anymore. i don't know why its so hard, but im sure once the motivation kicks in again i'll be passionate about it like i once was.

im going to uni tomorrow. yes. on a sunday. how very odd. they gave me keys and a key card to get into the media editing suites, so i can finish my radio project. i'll probably spend all day doing it though. and im gonna take heaps of food in with me, cos i starved on friday. i only moved from that room once to go to the bathroom, but i had no food since 7am that morning...when i got home yesterday at like 6pm i ate those cheese and bacon rolls i found in the kitchen...i haven't gone without food for that long in awhile...i used to not eat lunch all time back in high school, but its not healthy, and probably my lack of nutrition is why i got sick all the time then.

listen:
bijou phillips - i'd rather eat glass

the most fustrating thing right now that could happen to me.. is for my cd burner to fuck. i just used my last remaining blank cd, and now roxio cd creator has decided to BUGGER UP THE WHOLE FUCKING THING! muthabLOODYSTUPID PIECE OF POOOOO CRAPOLA FUCKING SHIT FUCK. these were just some of the obsenities that were shouted in the last five minutes at the computer when the error popped up on the screen.

So now my radio piece won't be finished till this weekend/and or monday. i have to buy another blank cd so i can transfer a few sound effects of something going SPLAT (sounds nice and bloody) into my radio project which is on the latrobe apple server thingy. unless i can use the mac's at uni to go on the net and download the sounds (im not sure if i have net access in the edit suites) i am fucked.

So thank you Roxio, my last cd, and to the stupid sound effect which it did copy. YOU fucked up my WHOLE FUCKING ASSIGNMENT YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

listen:
eagle-eye cherry - living in the present future

HI everyone. wassup? i didn't get home till 6 something - i've been out doing lots of things. bumped in to julian whitty person at the bus stop at shoppo, that was alrite...then near the pines the bus decided to fuck up, it almost made it to my bus stop...just a few more meters and it would have been there. oh well...i was greeted to the sounds of Mum yelling At dad because they had to go out to dinner tonight and he was putting the clothes on the like and pottering around doing stuff when they should have left straight away. at the moe im doing my Radio assignment, listening to cds with sound fx of ppl yelling, burping, making 'excited'groans, and of doors and Key's opening and locking etc!

i'm just dead tired tonite, i couldn't wake up this morning at all. my sister usually wakes me up, that didn't happen, my mum tried i kinda lifted my head then went back to sleep, then my dad kept bring the dog into my room...which is stupid cos im on a bunk bed, the dog can't reach me from up here - thank god the dog isn't annoying like my cat has been this whole week. I have had no sleep at all...stupid cat. i love my cat, but he can be so annoying when it comes to sleep. and at 2am i like to sleep not be subject to his whims. I swear that cat needs you to just go with him to the laundry (where his food bowl is) haha..maybe he's a scardy cat. muahaha.

i need a wav sound..of someone getting hit over the head by an axe or something...

I've realised this morning that instant coffee really doesn't like me. It made me sick last week, and its making me sick this week again. I don't understand why though? Why do I have to put up with this icky feeling in my stomach and throat that makes me want to hurl the entire contents of this morning's breakfast across the room (nice image there huh).

playlist:
new radicals - you get what you give
the beatles - norwegian wood
third eye blind - jumper
xtina - fighter
nina gordon - hold on to me

First we run, then we laugh till we cry

I think im getting paranoid. Yeah. i think i am...certain little things have got inside my head. Comments, about people, things, and blogs. Yes maybe im reading into some things, but i think im now paranoid. Or it could just be all the coffee i've just consumed in the last hour. Im still not finished with my bodybuilding essay - kudos to those who took the quiz on tickle...if you'd like to take it, msg me i'll email you the link in a pretty email. So far lisa knows me the best - but i made the questions tricky on purpose. And one of two questions i may have lied on......

I'll finish the essay tomorrow arvo i think. Then get started on music and sounds for the radio project. yeeeahp. Friday morning i'll be busy in the radio edit suites..starting and finishing a project in only 2-3 hours. it may take longer though.

Okay. I saw Kill Bill last friday nite with my buddy carlos while everyone else saw Starsky and Hutch...mark told me it was okay - he didn't sound too thrilled about the film...im still gonna see it eventually so busy at the moment.. But i did watch Love actually today - and i really liked it even though i was confused as hell as to who each character was and how they were connected, most were friends or family..and others were connected through jobs..so once it all came together it was cool. I really enjoyed the couple who didn't mind getting their gear off for their acting work, but when it came to asking the girl out for a date the guy was shy and awkward about it. LOL.

When im not writing my essay Im playing games of freecell and listening to henry rollins' spoken word cds. No matter how many times i listen to it, i still laugh like crazy...and i just love the sound of rollins' voice...My personal favourite tracks on the THINK TANK spoken word album is Russia, Airport Hell, and Brazil.

i have a box of home brand water crackers in front of me (for so long i was puzzled by why they were called water crackers - i didn't get wether it was because they were made with water or eaten with water. I have images of the first fleet and horn blower eating water crackers out at sea) and this box is white, boring as hell, no interesting serving suggestion images just this huge ass barcode! Made extra big for easy scanning. Fuck its huge. its almost as tall as the box itself.

hold me love, I can't sleep again
Will I have to kiss your nose,
I wanna lay here next to him love...

"This Old Wound"


I’ve been bleeding well
From this old wound
Cleaning it with salt,
So it will still feel new
Sometimes eyes turn black,
And sometimes scars are tracks
But every time that you’re gone
I wish that you’d come back


And everyone watched me waste myself
And everyone cheered at last
And all of them found it comforting
Its better it’s me then them.


I think I’m doing well from what they say
They’ve taken both my belt and shoelaces away
Well I believe in luck
I think I do
Well I believe for sure
If ever I see you


I’ve been fanning flames from these old coals
Feeding them with tender
And hoping they will grow
And I’ve been savoring
What I can’t hold
A blind belief in goodness
That doesn’t seem to show


But I’ve been bleeding well
From this old wound
Cleaning it with salt,
So it will still feel new




- dashboard confessional

What do women want i saw a book titled that in the lib yesterday when i was looking for references for my bodybuilding essay.
I've figured out that If theo thinks women don't know what they want, then he is very wrong. We know extactly what we want, we just know we'll never get it from any male on this planet. If you get rejected by a female - obviously your not what she wants. Women aren't fussy or picky - we just know what we like and what we don't like.
So my new assumption is that Men only think that women don't know what they want. But its the opposite. We know what were looking for, but i think the main problem is where do you find it?

Today Theo and myself got into one of those conversations about relationships with friends. And the old age argument that males and females can never just be friends. Okay well it got well off topic, but the idea of dating friends was the main discussion. He argued that its better to be friends and to get to know a person first - I said that sometimes knowing someone too well can be bad, then he pointed out after i said that my first relationship was with someone i hardly knew, that i had jumped into it impulsively. Ultimately in my case that may not have been the right decision, and i think i agree that next time i'll be more careful. BUT it is possible to be too good a friend with someone and then try a relationship which is just too awkward and odd. We both agreed that some friends you just don't see them in a certain way, some are just strictly friends and other you kinda think about as something else but usually nothing eventuates from that (in my experience, i dunno about theo...never insult him about him getting with chicks- its something he doesn't take lightly). Theo was telling me about one of his good female friends and how one night she kissed him then the next day acted like nothing had ever happened. My guess is that sexual attraction got in the way of their friendship for a moment and she probably was wondering what he'd be like, so that kiss was basically just to confirm something she either already suspected or knew and she probably did it just to get that sexual attraction out of the way. Obviously she didn't mean anything by it, but left Theo very confused (and he's easy to confuse). So basically by this stage Theo had concluded that Women don't know what they want. But Men do. Theo also said he was an honest guy (but i can only take so much weird bullshit theories in one day). So do women know what they want? or are we a confused lot?
Theo did go on to speculate that guys who are insecure with themselves are usually confused and don't know what they want either...but is that saying women are also insecure. probably. I countered with "But most women have a list of what they want in a guy" theo countered that with a blunt "Women are too picky".
He thinks that every guy a female rejects could have been a postive relationship/partner for her, but because she was too picky she passes it up not realising this. Theo said i would probably end up alone...he said that jokingly of course.
I told him he could come visit me and my cats.

Okay, i believe in attraction. Its not always about looks, but i feel there must be some kind of attraction or some feature in a person that stands out. If any old joe comes up and asks you out, i'd expect you would say no unless something about them was really appealling to you.
I know that being rejected by someone is not the nicest of feelings. But obviously everything happens for a reason, just have to figure it out before its too late. and that's what fate is. And that as they say is that.

$130!!!!!! YOU must be kidding me! I would even pay that much to see ...ANYONE! let alone Justin Timberlake. No. im sorry, but you won't see me there unless by some miracle I get 130 dollars to spend on a concert ticket. Anyway, i'd rather see the producers right now than JT.

Evelyn's To do list for this week:

Photocopy cinema and media stuff
Write 500 word cinema topic statement
Write Media essay, approx 2000-3000 words
Find sound fxs for radio piece

...I really don't want to go to uni tomorrow. Maybe because i know it'll be another class where i sit and get bored for a good hour and a half, then finally find myself in front of a computer at 12pm helping people who don't pay attention in class...why oh why. Then at 1pm i'll leave, get a bus, then maybe another bus or a train, then another bus home. Then by about 3 i'll be home...and then write my 500 word topic statement. Or sit in front of the ps2 for a good hour and a half.

I just don't want to wake up tomorrow morning at 6am. This morning i slept in, and i would have slept in longer if i didn't have to get up because the woodfire heater thing ppl were coming to install it at 10:30...but they turned up at 9:30. totally catching me up awares and in my pjs. I could have slept in. I haven't slept in all week, and i've been on holidays. But when i have uni, i don't wanna get up. I just want to stay in bed...Ok truth is, im not having a great time at uni. I sit in boring classes, while the topics are interesting, the lack of interesting people annoys me more. I have made friends in the radio class, but in animation i sit alone (almost prefer it though) and in the media class the girl i talked to for the first three lectures has disappeared...Okay, i snubbed her off - but only cos i wanted to sit further in the back. Im more comfortable in a lecture theatre when im not up close...But in animation i sit usually three rows to the front only cos in that room less ppl sit in the front, andtherefore less tall annoying ppl will sit in front of me and obstruct my view. What annoys me most are the people who are late and come in half way during a film and always choose the seat in front of ME. shit always happens to me, I always get looked over in a class, or stuck in some weird awkward situation. Im sick of it. I shouldn't say the words "SCREWED UP" to describe to logic audio programe when it fucks up. Especially not to my lecturer, cos it just sounds vulgar and stupid. But hey, thats me. The girl who burps and plays ps2, and is weird, and used to chew blue tack (actually im kinda not ashamed of that. Most kids ate dirt or crayons.. but obviously my love for all things gummi springs from my early blue tack chewing). Basically i feel fustrated in that class, like im surrounded by idiot people or idiot tech people (seriously, the woman who takes us for the logic audio tutorials is a boring, dull woman who repeats the simplest of steps and treats everyone in the room like they have never even seen or used a computer b4 in their life. Honestly, how would u even get to 2nd or third yr uni if u didn't know how to use a comp or do the most simplest of functions like SAVE).

The only thing good about uni at the moment, apart from the radio stuff when i go wild in the editing suites, is when i see lisa or go shopping with theo. Or when i hang with jon and chris and others. To me uni is boring. Without the random social interactions with my friends, uni is just another dull place with stupid people, bad lecture theatres, and boring lecturers with monotone voices.

But maybe tomorrow will be different? Maybe something will happen. but then again, maybe not.

music:
black eyed peas - weekend
Maroon 5 - this love
dashboard - as lovers go


I had the strangest dream last nite. I won't go into details but it was odd. You know when you have dreams when the person in ur dream is someone u know, but they look like someone else? well i had something like that happen. The dream was probably a result of the phone conversation I had with steve earlier yesterday. Anyway.

Final Fantasy X-2 IS GREAT! im loving it. the dress sphere changes rock, okay can get annoying in the middle of battle sometimes, but its pretty coool.

My birthday was last thursday. I had a good nite. almost everyone turned up, and i think ppl liked the cake. But i was suprised with the getting of presents, to be honest i was happy with everyone just turning up. It was great having morgan there, hadn't seen her in awhile, and seeing everyone else was very cool.
Afterwards at the irish pub in donnie, that was alrite...me and theo (he's my new drinking buddy) had a good time. But thank you to everyone who came, i appreciate that you came along to help me celebrate my birthday. it was a good nite all round i think.

I went shopping friday, got the dashbaord cd with the bonus dvd. Just watched it. It kicks booty and makes me go all "AWWWWWW" and mush like. Well i gotta give credit to any guy who could do that to me..sadly its a guy who i've met once and screamed at him "AND I REALLY LOVE YOUR MUSIC". ...lil chance of anything happening with a guy who lives in America anyway. I know what those rock idol crushes can do to a girl, and it can leave u pining for a hot blonde guy who ultimately will never know you, and never love you because of the fact that you are a fan. Right now the line "But i can still dream" usally would sit here, but its stupid to create these little fantasies. I don't think i want to succumb to those unreal dreams and unattainable goals.

oh btw. there was a tiny tiny article on hanson in thursday's herald sun. www.fansfromoz.com but only if u care to look.

im gonna go now. and play some ffx-2 b4 i have to start my reading for uni tomorrow...hehe. can you believe its only been like one week? feels longer some how eh.