Playlist
S.O.A.P - Miracle *the whole album...too many songs to write up here*
Watch The princess diaries, the princess bride, crouching tiger/hidden dragon. THE MUMMY*oooh..spoookky*
Read: Cinema studies - 80 pages...grrr....

I just wrote my whole anthropology assignment. It was long and difficult. 1000 words of bull shit that's supposed to be an essay is very hard to fill. And now i'm dead tired. So i'll probably go to sleep early tonite because I have uni tomorrow.
We're watching Dity Harry in cinema..hehe :)
But my uni work doesn't stop there. Tuesday i have to hand in my linguistics sheet..so i'll do that monday night. It's pretty easy.
Then on the 15th *MY BIRTHDAY* I have two essays due, which i need to complete by the weekend. Cos my mother came home this afternoon and started yelling at me for having people over yesterday and not doing my essay then. I finished the essay! The cinema studies one should be easy - but all damn essays have refrence systems and stoopid bibliographies. Ya know...i haven't written a bibliography since...........ya know my essays at mlc never had bibliographies..or refrences. how long is that word..Bibliography...I'm probably not even spelling it right..lol..
I hate work. I do. only school work of course. I hate essay writing...itz such bull shit.

Anyway - Friday night was Andrew's party. And it was carlos's birthday! yay! So we all went to La Porchetta *how ever ya damn speel it* Yes...Lisa got impatient with the old waitress person. mmhehe.
But Andrew's party was good - maybe i mixed a really digusting drink and got horribly tipsy within my first 20 minutes of arriving. And yes I did dance my lil feet off - but the alchol got the better of me. Now i know what they mean by it not being a stimulant. I'm gonna stick to caffine. No more vodka - unles itz in a ruski or cruiser :)

But the party got me thinking. I'm seeing all my friends around me - and their all with someone. It got me thinking about Chris. Now if u don't know who he is by now...i'll fill u in. I met him at Matt T's party.
I don't know if i've made any mistakes - i don't feel like i have. I mean - i like being friends with people. Friends always come first. Guys second. that's how i've always thought of it. But it just gets so annoying when ur the odd one out.
I mean...I'm not really looking for any one. I just wish i could feel like I had someone. Someone who understands me...someone who actually likes me - and does something about it! No more dancing round the issue and no more crushes. I'm sick of crushes! They cause more harm than good to a person! trust me..i know. My whole Taylor hanson crush back in 97-99 was just not healthy. nahuh.
I guess maybe i'm just fustrated. I'll be 18 soon and i've never had anything - interesting. I have had a boring life so far. I had a shit childhood...and a few crappy teenage years. SO adult hood...well...turning 18 is nothing interesting. I'll just be one year older. BUt i'll be able to drive and buy alchol *and not get kicked out of safeway liquor store for not having ID* I'll be able to get into pubs and over age gigs. All this shit i couldn't do b4. But this means nothing to me. It's not important. Well it is - because when i'm 18 i'll have more freedom. But honestly, i lack knowlege and experince in so many things still.
Maybe all this - is just me trying to make sense of how I feel. I feel inadequet. not good enough. But that;s just one part of me...one part of how i feel. Yes i'm confused. and maybe i just confused myself more.

"What is a place doing in a girl like this!"

whateva..i'll post more later. *muah*