I know I wrote before, but I haven't been completely honest. Everything is not fine. In fact I have spent the whole day depressed and angry and sad at myself. I know I seem like the happy hyperactive person - when actually i'm a sarcastic and bitter person. Or if you want to know the truth, i'm not all that. I don't know what I am, i just don't feel like me anymore and its going beyond what i used to know about myself. After sunday night, the thoughts and issues that have been plaguing my mind for the past couple of weeks have finally reached their peak, causing me to remain in a constant low. Lonliness is the thing i've always hated, but i've always been alone. Somehow its become a second nature to me. Because when i was younger I knew what it was like to be by myself. But recently lonliness has been creeping back into my life. OK..the main gist of it is..I know who my real friends are. And i know when i'm not welcomed..or liked as much. I know when people don't say Hi..or avoid my eye contact. I know what awkward situations are like and I know that people like to make things so damned complicated when they don't have to be.
And seeing my friends - hey i know what peer pressure is like - especially when ur two best friends have boyfriends..and you don't. I wish things were different, that i was a social butterfly, that people could instantly like me. But its not like that. I'm not like that.
Yes, i wish i had a guy - someone i could talk to, mess with. Just someone that i know would actually want me and like me. The whole Chris thing..it happened because I let it..and i wanted it to. And I wish i got more out of it instead of the over-confidence and the one night party pash. As lisa told me..there has to be something more than to just be attracted to a person. I guess i've stopped thinking that there's someone out there i'm supposed to meet. Maybe Fate is really a bitch. That if fate wanted it - i wouldn't be feeling like this right now..but no. Fate has decided that i must wait. Maybe i've made the wrong choices in life - i've said no to the wrong people..and let myself fall for others who would never give me the chance to say yes. omg i'm a dick. I need someone like me..who's not afraid to speak their mind. Someone who will challenge my opinions. oR maybe someone the exact opposite to me.
yeah..someone like that. Or maybe just someone who can put up with me...oh god. I'll never find someone like that.

TRACK SIX: Unwanted

All that I did was walk over
Start off by shaking your hands
That's how it went
I had a smile on my face and I sat up straight
Oh, yeah, yeah
I wanted to know you
I wanted to show you

[chorus]
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
You don't want me there
You just shut me out
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
If you had your way
You'd just shut me up
Make me go away

No, I just don't understand why
you won't talk to me
It's hurts that I'm so unwanted for nothing
Don't talk words against me
I wanted to know you
I wanted to show you

[chorus]
Make me go away

I tried to belong
It didn't seem wrong
My head aches
Its been so long
I'll write this song
If that's what it take

[chorus (2x)]
Make me go away
Make me go away

Thank u avril - damn good songs.

Which of the Disney Princesses are you?

I've been busy and bored again. The BBQ world cup thing was...fun. Yes it was good seeing rach again. And i've learnt sumthing new about soccer - that its boring when no one scores. Ahh well..i still had a good time.
big brother finished last night - so now..the osborne's are my new fave show.

I found something interesting online - its a database of baby names. So i found mine.

Your name of Evelyn gives you the ability to be creative along practical lines of endeavour. Your ideas can be very original and inventive. You enjoy being with people in a social environment. Your personal appearance is important to you, for you desire to make a good impression on others. Your pleasant manner attracts people to you with their problems and you are capable of offering practical advice, though you would probably not follow such advice yourself. This name causes you to be somewhat too concerned with the personalities, problems, and activities of other people. You seem positive and decisive and can be outspoken in the expression of your opinions, but you lack the self-confidence needed to follow through with your ideas and plans. Procrastination is your downfall. You frequently choose the path of least resistance to avoid your responsibilities. It is not easy for you to overcome obstacles or face issues. This name does you an injustice in that it restricts your success in business and personal pursuits through a lack of ambition. There is a weakness in the fluid functions and in the region of the head resulting in sinus problems, headaches, eye, ear, or throat conditions and related ailments. Hair loss could also be a problem.

What was that about hair loss? ARghh!! Ya know..this anaylsis is practically me in a nutshell. *"No this is me in a nutshell..HELP! i'M IN A NUTSHELL! how did i get into this nutshell?!"*
Go learn sumthing new about ur name

Well..hopefully i'll see star wars tonite *FINALLY* But now i shall leave my devoted blogger readers - with a playlist of sum choice selection mp3s.

Papa Roach - She loves me not
Monifa - Touch it (club mix)
Tenacious D - Kyle left the band & Waterboy
Counting Crows - Colour Blind
The moffats - Misery
Gil - Out of my bed & If she only knew
Danger feat. Nivea - Been so long
Sugababes - Just let it go
Tweet - Call me *reccomend*

*MUAH*