For once..im not confused. Everything is simple once more. I am no longer confused with the troubles of young love,crushes,obessions, infatuation and lust. I know what i want. BUT what do you do, when you think you've stuffed it up with the one guy that ever liked u, and actually did something about it. And i mean - did sumthing other than telling you..that he liked you.
Before, I almost though I knew what I wanted. But I'm seeing things differently now.
You know that feeling, where..you think you know what you want - but your feelings are clouded by something else. Well I was like that, and now I feel like I should break into a chorus of that "I can see clearly now the rain has gone..i can see all obstacles in my way" yea..well...for me it wasn't raining. More like a fog or as i might like to call it "The fog of deception."

"Your a sexy guy, and I'm a nice girl...Lets turn this dance floor into our own nasty world" - Boys

OK..so put into even more simple terms. I want him.
I know..last blog I was saying I liked two guys. Well, if you don't know already from a number of alternative sources, My goal was to ask a guy out. I had given rach permission to kick me if i hadn't by the end of the night. LOL..she did kick me..really hard in the foot i might add..but at that stage - everything seemed resolved. He was right - going out probably wouldn't work. Anyway...he's a cool friend, and good to chat wit. So in the end..the night wasn't a failure after all..even though lisa and rach were all very..sympathetic for me...But to me, it wasn't a big deal. It was just a crush. But that whole night...i couldn't stop thinking about...the other guy. The one..that I want. I guess itz my own fault. I mean...i'm still new to this. But i can take a hint when a guy that I only talk to over the net, cancells on me - then fights with me - then an hour later apologises - then i say "Friends is best" - I mean...maybe I was just being played around. But i can't deny my basic instinctive feelings, but then again..i can;t deny my..other feelings. Ok..that sentence was so screwed up the ass it wasn't even..making sense. I bet i know what ur all thinking... "EVELYN..START MAKING SENSE!!!"

"I need time, love, joy...I need space, love...I need me."

*muah* - visit me www.geocities.com/evesygal

I learnt the truth at seventeen
that love was meant for beauty queens

OK..how is it possible. That..I ..Evelyn C. Hamlett is going through a difficult and emotional time. That's just not possible for the seemingly happy young girl who just turned 18.
Nooo..i have to make things extremly difficult. By - and ur gonna love this - I LIKE TWO GUYS! ok...i'm a horrible slut who's never slept around with anyone...Ok..so i flirt with one of them..alot. And..shit..he drives me insane. He's like...sleazy but in a good way! and i kno guys wit a one track mind u kinda have to be careful with. Maybe he's just playing with me, but i can't say i don't like it.
The other guy - is nice and a dude. Ya know..i would say..i'm more attratcted to his personality more. And plus..i like his slippers.

The most depressing thing I can do, i read my horoscopes for the day online. And since i want the most accurate horoscopes, i'll check out three different sites for the most reliable one. MSN site is a personal fave of mine because of the mood thing. But today, it just didn't cut it for me. My horoscope was ruined by the fact that it told me, i would go all..lovey dovey over a guy. Well..it hasn't happened. And i'm still single..so that says sumthing about the msn horoscopes. The other two sites, were kinda..critical of me today. Nothing good was to come out of today, so I was told by two different websites.

I need to go out. And see some friends. I'm feeling sad. I need a hug. Cos i want to see my close friends, and forget about the troubles of uni and pressures of normal home life.

I'm gonna go join the uni radio station. That's it. I'll do it...next week. And i'll get my I.D - cos i need some Alc...

Playlist
Michelle Branch Goodbye to You - *as seen on buffy last monday!*
Jimmy Eat World - Crimson and Clover
The Donna's - Rock and Roll machine & checkin it out
Usher - U turn & You don't have to call
Incubus MTV unplugged - Clean
Jamiroquai - Where do we go from here
Ashanti - Foolish
Counting Crows - Catapult
P.diddy feat. Usher - I need a girl
Goo Goo dolls - Here is gone
Alicia Keys - how come you don't call me?
No doubt - Hella good *****recommend*****
Silverchair - Luv your life