I think I'm alot happier since the weekend. Like I can deal with my problems and issues now. After finally (somewhat) getting out how i've been feeling of late, i feel a lot lighter. Like a load has been lifted off my back, and now i can deal with what's troubling me. I think now i can act on how I feel. I've been too lazy this year, not motivated enough to so anything about it. I haven't done anything about anything! Its almost time i forget the bull shit, the little insecurities that make me weaker, and its time I did something about it. I've always dealt with whatever came my way. I've had to deal with alot of shit in the past - alot of un-expected things. For some reason i think my motto is "Deal with it". straight out like that. I'm not a cop out. I don't always make stoopid excuses, i just take the responsibility thats mine, and get on with it. And that's what I'm going to do from now on. Hopefully your going to all see a change in me. Maybe not right away, but soon. You know what they say "It doesn't happen over night, but it will happen."
Ok..so i stole that quote from a shampoo add. it still makes a point. despite its lack of cred.

So what do u all think? Do I need to change the template for this site. Green is becoming uglylier to me. its so heavy. Well considering my lack of html talent, i won't be able to make my own layout for this blog, unless i move it completely to my geocities site. But, i would rather my own dot.com or sumthing. geocities is just such a bitch. anyway, i'm not much of a wiz on the photoshop - but i try. i've been thinking i should maybe do a short course in photoshop..but i dunno. I'm thinking of getting back into singing lessons. that might be a good thing to do since now i'll have more free time and once i get a job - i'll have money to pay for my own lessons. Thats why i want a job..not just because i want material things..because i want to be able to pay for my own singing lessons. It's my dream, my parents don't need to pay for it anymore. (not that they really did b4 - my parents aren't very supportive of my choices and decisions - i bet they'd like me better if i became an architech..or an orthodondist..). I've never shared my plans with them. they just have to learn to accept that i actually am serious about pursing a career in the music business. Well actually my dad wants me to do some microsoft course - then i'll be stuck in front of a computer for the rest of my life taking IT customer service calls. and funnily enough, i don't think thats my particular calling in life. lol.

I need to get rach a b'day pressie. Dunno what yet. Maybe some jewllery. But i got her that last year. Maybe a giant teddy...with some jewllery? lol. i'm making her a mix tape/disc. I'm gonna be making everyone one eventually...and i'll make lisa one - but she hates my taste in music..well maybe not hate, just strongly disagrees with it..LOL. something like that. I think she thought i was gonna put pop and hanson music all over it. LOL. yeah right. I have got better musical tastes than that.

well i think i'd better go, got an assignment due tomorrow. yayness & gayness. i think taxiride(the band) is playing at uni tomorrow..not sure. but i think its free @ lunchtime. so if anyone wants to come along..just come visit la trobe. it'll be fun..and free food.

*muah* www.geocities.com/evesygal

"Hands Down"

Breathe in for luck breathe in so deep this air is blessed you share with me this
night is wild so calm and dull these hearts they race
from self control your legs are smooth
as they graze mine we're doing fine we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst or break or bury or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.
The words are hushed lets not get busted,
just lay entwined here undiscovered.
Safe from the earth and all the stupid questions..
"hey did you get some?" Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear, so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy. My
heart is yours to fill or burst or break or bury or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.
Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers and
the time on the clock when we realized
it's so late and the walk that we shared together.
The street was wet and the gate was locked
so I jumped it and let you in and you stood at the door
with your hands on my waist and you kissed me,
but you meant it and I knew that you meant it,
that you meant it, that you meant it,
and I knew, that you meant it, that you meant it.

- dashboard confessional