I can't believe how happy I am right now! is this it? is this what its supposed to be like? When everything is going well, when things finally fall into place and I discover things when I least expected I would...is this happiness? is this what i've been searching for? have I even searched for it or did it just land in my lap? Nothing can bring me down because the last few hours have been so good. Even just simply chilling and watching dvds - its amazing how more relaxed I am and how much I enjoy just being near him. At first the idea used to make me panic, but now I feel calm and resolved to make this work because I think that I really really like him. And I'm not just saying that cos I know that he likes me...in fact I don't really know because he hasn't said straight up - but he doesn't have to at all. He talked alot more tonight, which I'm glad about and i'm still laughing over the story about his friend getting kicked by a kangaroo. I don't mind the quietness, it just makes me want him more, it makes me want to know him more. But that's all it takes, just being near him makes me happy. and if i recall last rehersal it distracted me alittle, but i think i was smiling more just because of those thoughts and knowing he was nearby. I made him go home...which i regret and i don't. I just don't think my parents would be happy with the idea of cookie staying over...i think i need to explain a few things first b4 they'd be cool with it..like tell them that i'm seeing cookie as more than just friends lol. My sister worked it out pretty quickly...lol...she reckons i have a thing for stevens - lol also she commented on cookie being thinner than me...he's all bones..but so what...i like him like that. Gosh...hear me, i miss him already...i hope he gets home okay next time i'll make him stay over ;)