For once..im not confused. Everything is simple once more. I am no longer confused with the troubles of young love,crushes,obessions, infatuation and lust. I know what i want. BUT what do you do, when you think you've stuffed it up with the one guy that ever liked u, and actually did something about it. And i mean - did sumthing other than telling you..that he liked you.
Before, I almost though I knew what I wanted. But I'm seeing things differently now.
You know that feeling, where..you think you know what you want - but your feelings are clouded by something else. Well I was like that, and now I feel like I should break into a chorus of that "I can see clearly now the rain has gone..i can see all obstacles in my way" yea..well...for me it wasn't raining. More like a fog or as i might like to call it "The fog of deception."

"Your a sexy guy, and I'm a nice girl...Lets turn this dance floor into our own nasty world" - Boys

OK..so put into even more simple terms. I want him.
I know..last blog I was saying I liked two guys. Well, if you don't know already from a number of alternative sources, My goal was to ask a guy out. I had given rach permission to kick me if i hadn't by the end of the night. LOL..she did kick me..really hard in the foot i might add..but at that stage - everything seemed resolved. He was right - going out probably wouldn't work. Anyway...he's a cool friend, and good to chat wit. So in the end..the night wasn't a failure after all..even though lisa and rach were all very..sympathetic for me...But to me, it wasn't a big deal. It was just a crush. But that whole night...i couldn't stop thinking about...the other guy. The one..that I want. I guess itz my own fault. I mean...i'm still new to this. But i can take a hint when a guy that I only talk to over the net, cancells on me - then fights with me - then an hour later apologises - then i say "Friends is best" - I mean...maybe I was just being played around. But i can't deny my basic instinctive feelings, but then again..i can;t deny my..other feelings. Ok..that sentence was so screwed up the ass it wasn't even..making sense. I bet i know what ur all thinking... "EVELYN..START MAKING SENSE!!!"

"I need time, love, joy...I need space, love...I need me."

*muah* - visit me www.geocities.com/evesygal