"Ender Will Save Us All"
Dashboard confessional

It's just like you to contest
you wear it like a label on your breast
don't you see what this takes of me?
A certain callousness complies
with your charm & in your pride
a hopeful look draped in despise.

I want to give you
whatever you need.
What is it you need?
Is it what I need?
I want to give you
whatever you need.
What is is you need?
Is it within me?

It's hard to explain how I am getting by
on so little from you.
It's hard to believe that I would let myself
get so wrapped in you.
There's got to be something that would
be worthwhile for me to give to you.
We need a connection but you
seem to push me far away from you.

The harder I push the further I fall.
Well you don't mind me being headstrong.
But you don't want to sing along.
Maybe it's trite but I can always be wrong
Try not to be wrong.

BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO SING ALONG - I CAN'T ALWAYS BE WRONG

don't fuck with me today. I am not in the mood. I am sick of some people and their stoopid insecurities and problems. They let them get in the way of everything. And I mean everything! I wish i could tell people to grow up - and stop acting like lil bitchy primary school brats. My closest friends - are not so close anymore. I mean, I knew this year was going to be hard. I never thought it would be a walk in the park. Considering we are all split up and in seperate places, doing our own things. I just hate the distance factor. It seems now we all have new friends, new groups. New ideas are coming up. I mean, we're all growing up slowly. I hate being older. things suddenly become so fucking complex, especially when they don't have to be. Things are not all black and white. Now things are grey, and off-white.
But why can't ppl put the little things behind them. I don't see my friends that often. And you'd hope that when u call them or see them - they can be a little happy to see u or hear from u. I just don't like it when i call a friend up - and they sound surprised to hear from me. WELL DUH. i am ur friend. Friends do call each other to see how each other is doing. Just because one friend is too fucking lazy(bitchy) to call the other...ARGGHHH!!! I COULD SCREAM. AND WHAT IS IT WITH BOYFRIENDS. You know how you all say "I'd never let a guy get between me and my friends" OK - we'll when someone says that, then does THAT - in my book that person is generally called a Hypocrite. I mean fuck. THIS IS NOT JEALOUSY. tHIS IS a friend speaking - who misses another friend. who funnily enough..doesn't seem to give a shit. I've been asking myself, why do I care? Why - because she was my friend. And i don't dismiss friends that easily (not without a fight anyway). I guess it just hurts. friendship is a fickle business. they come and go so quickly. I feel unwanted. and it sucks.

"The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most"

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself,
and covered with a perfect shell,
such a charming beautiful exterior.

This is one time
that you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone or anyone at all.
And the grave that you refuse to leave
the refuge that you've built to flee
the places you have come to fear the most.

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself,
and hidden in the public eye.
Such a stellar monument to loneliness.
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
and perfect makeup but you're barely scraping by.